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Archive for the cleavage Category

2007

07

Jun

I am – Ivanka Trump’s Big Ol’ Titties and Some Paris Hilton News of the Day

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I got drunk last night. I am sure that’s a big surprise to some of you. But I was a weird kinda drunk. I am talking unable to function after 4 drinks. I was talking to some dude and didn’t hear a word he said, then accidentally dropped my beer without realizing it. I think it could have been a stroke or some shit. But needless to say, when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was talk about how Paris HIlton has been released from prison.

I am actually pretty fucking pissed off, I started writing her a letter yesterday that I was going to mail to her today and post here. I figured she’d have no choice but to read it and that would be good for the site and give us all a good fucking laugh. So when I read that bitch was released with an ankle bracelet, I was pretty much thinking to myself that I just missed a golden opportunity. But even more disappointing is that the rich motherfuckers always get special treatment. If Paris was a poor black dude from the projects and she got busted with a DUI, the authorities would have slapped 15 other charges on him and dude woulda been in lock down for 20 years with no chance of parole. But since all you cocksuckers give a fuck about this piece of trash and have given her this level of celebrity bitch doesn’t’ deserve, she has the power to change the fucking legal system to suit her cunt needs. I don’t understand why there is even a system in place when rich people are just going to always be able to do whatever the fuck they want regardless of the consequences we all have to face.

Here was the beginning of the letter that I wrote her but now won’t bother finishing because bitch is back home drinking cocktails and watching TV and doing whatever it is that she does….

Now that you backed into a corner with nothing to do but read letters from fans and I figured I’d take advantage of the opportunity to make sure you know who I am by telling you how much I love you, and by love I mean that I love that you give me constant content for my website.

Now, I’ve been a fan of your work since you hit the scene. If you’re wondering what work I am talking about, so am I. I guess you’ve never really done anything of substance, your claim to fame is a sex tape, and that’s easy to be successful at, you just need to get naked. Other than that you’ve made your money promoting products and getting paid to party, which I guess isn’t really work. You did have that book I never read, but can assume you didn’t write it and then there was simple life, which was pretty much like the sex tape only without the sex, all you had to do was go on a road trip, so maybe saying I am a fan of your work is kinda a lie because you’ve never really done much of anything but a lot of cock. I guess your impact on society’s been a good one though, there are so many young girls who rock party dresses with no panties, are down with nip slips and fucking and getting filmed fucking and I guess that’s not that bad for people like me, but it may be for them as they don’t have a huge trust fund to carry them through the rest of their lives after fucking it up trying to be you…

Here are some pictures of Ivanka Trump at some event, because she’s a little more reserved with her sluttiness. Ivanka Trump went to a good school and got a good education, she didn’t release sex tapes and spend her nights in clubs. She hasn’t really been a piece of useless trash addicted to media attention but still has a fat bank account and would still look good enough to look at naked, which isn’t saying much cuz I like seeing everyone naked, but you know what I mean….

Posted in:cleavage|Ivanka Trump|Paris Hilton|Prison|stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2007

06

Jun

I am – Brooke Sheenan Slutty Dress of the Day

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Brooke Sheenan is some Sports Model from Australia who won some Sports Model Search and this is what she looks like. I assume a sports model is what Australians call Fitness Models. A fitness model is pretty much not a real model but a bitch who is ripped and who spends her day in the gym and gets paid to wear spandex and bikinis for men’s magazines, shitty events, tradeshows and other useless things that make them more money than I’ll ever have. They win fitness competitions by demonstrating their aerobic ability in front of judges. They are a lot less interesting than fashion models who live off off cocaine, champagne and not eating.

Maybe I am just a bigot towards people who eat 12 egg white protein shakes before lifting more weight in a day than I have in my life. Maybe I am just jealous because of their jacked on endorphins positive outlook on life and their high energy that I find obnoxious because I can’t really keep up….I guess reality is I can never be a bigot towards a set of hot tits and an ass I can chip my tooth on provided bitch let me near her while handing out samples of Whey Protein at the next Muscle convention….

If you’re wondering why I am posting these, it’s because I can’t keep up with the other celebrity blogs, they are so on top of every set of paparazzi pictures that comes out that I can’t keep up. I am too busy doing nothing all day. My new strategy was to post pictures of people who I’ve never heard of because I can only assume no other site is up on this shit because no one gives a fuck about these people. This is my way of staying one step ahead of the game…..I am always innovating…..

Posted in:Brooke Sheehan|cleavage|Model|Unsorted

2007

06

Jun

I am – Petra Nemcova Hot Tits of the Day

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Tsunami Survivor Petra Nemcova is one of those girls who is pretty decent for an eastern European chick. I know most Eastern European chicks you hear about are either models, or pornstars, or mail order brides you dream of because your rich friend’s divorced father has one and she looks like a total slut.

But reality is that these rationed toilet paper using communist slags aren’t all sexy big breasted olympic gymnast bikini models. There are a lot of them with beards, and bellies, and the ability to wrestle bears while chopping wood and giving birth all at the same time. These are the bitches named Olga or Vaclav but they don’t ever make it big here in North America, because we don’t acknowledge serious talent.

I forget where I was going with this post, but since it’s almost 4 and I’ll I’ve posted are the breast feeding pics, I’ll leave you with these pictures of her preventing an upskirt and busting out of her dress like a hot slut I’d love to take a bath with, unfortunately she’s banged Stavros, who has banged Lohan and Paris and you know what both of these bitches have festering in their panties (when they wear panties), and that’s something that I don’t really want sharing my bath water and I’d bath in a fucking puddles of piss and dirt on the corner of the street like my friend who was trying to wash off the smell of a hooker he fucked before going home to his overbearing wife one night this spring.

Either way, here are the pics.

Posted in:cleavage|Petra Nemcova|Tits|Unsorted

2007

31

May

I am – A Fucking Winner of the Day

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It turns out that I won Best Blog in the Montreal Mirror Best Of Montreal awards. I don’t really know how I feel about this kind of local recognition, but it is a changing day in my life.

I guess the first thing I’d like to say is that I posted that picture they ran of the kid trying on his mom’s bra as a joke because it made me laugh. It reminded me of when I used to hang with a kid who turned out ‘mo later in life. Dude was always trying on dresses, bras, make-up and shit and I never wanted to take part in the fun. I didn’t post the picture because I am into little kids wearing bras.

The second thing I’d like to say is that being outed to the city you live in as a blog or a blogger is fucking embarrassing. Blogs are for losers and are written by losers and usually those losers aren’t my kind of loser. They are virgins, they are techy, they are lonely and feel like they have something to tell the world and that no one around them is listening. I am just a guy without a job and an addictive personality. Doing this is cheap, it keeps me out of trouble and I don’t usually drink all day because it gives me some sense of purpose. So admitting that I am a blogger is almost humiliating and would much rather be known as a drug dealer or homeless dude on the street….

That said, Montreal is a pretty small city, but the people in Montreal seem to love it. I am sure that not a lot of people voted, I am sure that not a lot of people even know my blog or will even check out the blog, but coming in first for a guy who has always come in last is a pretty funny turn of events and made me laugh a little.

I do think I deserve it. I am pretty sure I put more time into this shit than any normal person would and I still think that my site is better than most, even though I constantly put it down. I assume some of you voted for me and that was pretty cool of you. I know cool is not commonly used to describe you, but we’ll let it slide this time….asshole.

Since my winning Best of Montreal doesn’t deserve a post of it’s own, here are some pics of a tall Adriana Lima at some Dance For Tolerance event that sounds pretty fucking gay to me but I guess dancing for a cause is the whole reason strippers exist. Like that shitty ironic t-shirt says “I support single moms”. By the looks of Lima’s foot tattoo, she’s probably in a Brazilan gang and it’s safe to say not a virgin…

Posted in:Adriana Lima|cleavage|stepCOVERAGE|Tattoo|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – Sonya Kraus Launches Her Bikini Collection With Her Tits and Gay Men of the Day

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I don’t know who Sonya Kraus is but I am going to assume that she is some kind of washed up German Bikini Model, because Kraus sounds German and because usually people launch bikini lines when they have something to do with bikinis.

Either way, there is a valuable lesson you can all learn from these pictures. If you are act like a fruity gay black man and dance around and act all bubbly in front of hot chicks, they will probably want to fag hag you. Now if you never tell them you’re straight and keep shit going they are going to bring you out to parties, they are going to change in front of you and tell you all their dirty little sex secrets. The trick is to be as flamboyant as possible and whenever she brings up you being a poofter, just change the subject and tell her how pretty her hair is. I am telling you that one night when bitch gets drunk she’s going to let you fuck her, you just have to pretend you don’t know what you are doing and that you’re uncomfortable with the whole thing for the first 5 minutes before going pornstar on her ass. The next step is telling her that she turned you onto women and going through every one of her friends you were introduced to because let’s face it, fags get more pussy than you. I pitched this idea to a film production company once, they told me it sucked but you’ll see a derivative of it hit in the next 2 years, I’m convinced, that’s just how my ideas seem to work out for me.

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I guess my theory was wrong, she’s a TV personality who has nothing to do with bikinis other than wearing them to the pool….thanks wikipedia.

Costume Change…

Posted in:Bikini|cleavage|Sonya Kraus|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Celebrities Showing Off Their Tits at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala of the Day

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I am all for girls rocking cleavage shirts because I am a pervert and this site has given me a keen eye for spotting nipple slips. I was standing outside a bar, hoping a drunk guy who came out for a cigarette and accidentally drop his wallet the other day, and a group of hot chicks walked out with low cut shirts on, I guess it’s in style to show off your rack and I am not really complaining. One of them conveniently dropped something and when she went to pick it up her shirt dropped and I saw full fucking massive tit, while the other guys next to me missed it. It reminded me of when I was 12 and my foster mother used to come give me talks about God before I went to bed. She’d be in her night gown while I’d be lying in bed. She’d bend over to tuck me in, full tit exposed and I’d totally get a boner and jerk off to it the second she walked out. I always got scared that God was watching me, then I realized that if he was, he was a total pedophile and I might as well give him a good performance, because let’s face it, if I get him to get off when I was 12 only good things would be coming to me….I was wrong…

I am guessing that these celebrities are thinking the same thing, they are advertising their tits at some exclusive black tie event I wasn’t invited to, so that people like us fall into their booby trap…get it..I am so witty and that is good enough for you to start your day to….you’re welcome…


Jessica Simpson May Be Busted But Her Tits are Fucking Huge


Lohan May Be Distracting Us From Her Cocaine Video, But At Least She’s Doing it Properly, this shit will even get Disney to Sign Her Again


Salma Hayek is Pregnant and Full of Milk and That’s Pretty Much What I Wish All My Diet Consisted Of…


Jennifer Garner is Post-Pregancy and Her Tits Have Dried Up, But I’d Still Try To Get the Last Drops Out of Her


Rose McGowan has Always Had Hot Tits


Christina Ricci May Look Old and Beat Up and Her Tits May Have Been Reduced But She’s Still Packin’ Heat.


Scarlett Johannson Still Has Tits and I am Still Lookin’ At Them


Julianne Moore is the First Fire Crotch I Ever Saw in a Movie and Will Always Hold a Warm Place in My Heart for Proving that Myth Isn’t a Myth….


Rosario Dawson’s Tits Look Small But Small Titis are Tits Too…


Juliette Lewis is a Crackhead and Crackheads Don’t Have Tits, But She’s Still Trying…


I Don’t Really Give a Fuck About Mischa Barton But Whatever This is Still Cleavage…


Alicia Keys Has a Hairy Chest, So I Don’t Know If She Counts, But Even Men With Tits Count in Your World, Cuz You Are Desperate…

A few new ones…

I think Ivanka Trump Looks Awesome….I’d wallet-fuck her…


Karolina Kurkova Models Bikinis and I like Bikinis, Especially when they are on me, I feel so pretty…


Gisele isn’t with Victoria’s Secret Anymore, She’s Not a Hot as She Used To Be, But She Has Done A Lot in Her Panties and That Pretty Much Redeems Her….

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Christina Ricci|cleavage|Gisele Bundchen|Ivanka Trump|Jennifer Garner|Jessica Simpson|Julianne Moore|Juliette Lewis|Karolina Kurkova|Lindsay Lohan|Mischa Barton|Rosario Dawson|Rose McGowan|Salma Hayek|Scarlett Johansson|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

04

May

I am – Ali Larter Isn’t Wearing a Bra of the Day

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After tonight’s strip club incident of every chick being 200 lbs, I have decided that I only want to see chicks showing off their small tits tonight. It’s proof that there is too much of a good thing, because sure the bitches I saw had tits bigger than your head, but their cellulite ridden massive flat asses and waddling almost turned me off women, at least for the night…which I didn’t think was possible I came home wanting to crawl into a ball and cry because when the bitches were on stage, my brain kept telling me to stop looking but it was like I was lured into some kind of trance as their stomachs smacked them in the chin while they flashed their massive cunts.

I am married to a fat chick, so you’d think I could handle the shit, but I am went there to get away from the hell I am living and got stuck with that shit thrown in my face, over and over and over again…Maybe god was punishing me, but at least these pics landed in my inbox.

I am going to try to stop talking about this shit, but I am still in shock about the whole experience so have a little compassion man…


Related Posts:

I am – Ali Larter Stickin’ Her Tongue Out

Posted in:Ali Larter|cleavage|Tits|Unsorted

2007

04

May

I am – Ali Larter Isn't Wearing a Bra of the Day

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After tonight’s strip club incident of every chick being 200 lbs, I have decided that I only want to see chicks showing off their small tits tonight. It’s proof that there is too much of a good thing, because sure the bitches I saw had tits bigger than your head, but their cellulite ridden massive flat asses and waddling almost turned me off women, at least for the night…which I didn’t think was possible I came home wanting to crawl into a ball and cry because when the bitches were on stage, my brain kept telling me to stop looking but it was like I was lured into some kind of trance as their stomachs smacked them in the chin while they flashed their massive cunts.

I am married to a fat chick, so you’d think I could handle the shit, but I am went there to get away from the hell I am living and got stuck with that shit thrown in my face, over and over and over again…Maybe god was punishing me, but at least these pics landed in my inbox.

I am going to try to stop talking about this shit, but I am still in shock about the whole experience so have a little compassion man…


Related Posts:

I am – Ali Larter Stickin’ Her Tongue Out

Posted in:Ali Larter|cleavage|Tits|Unsorted

2006

13

Jan

The Nanny’s Cleavage

Fran Drescher annoys the fuck out of me. Not because she is a Jew, but because of her laugh. I guess that’s her novelty and everyone hates her for it – including me – so me saying this is really redundant. The dude at this Jewelery store is scopin out her cleavage and spotting a pervert always makes me happy, you know reminding myself that I am not the only one. The difference is that if this was a pic of me scopin out a girl, she’d prolly be 15, and I’d prolly be her stepdad. It makes for pretty controversial x-mas cards, my fat wife eating a donut on her retard scooter, me and my 2 girls and a hand on each ass – staring at the older one’s titties. I would post it here, but then you’d all know who I am and I hate signing autographs/getting beaten up.

Posted in:Annoying|Boobs|cleavage|Fran Drescher|Jewish|the Nanny|Tits|Unsorted

2006

13

Jan

The Nanny's Cleavage

Fran Drescher annoys the fuck out of me. Not because she is a Jew, but because of her laugh. I guess that’s her novelty and everyone hates her for it – including me – so me saying this is really redundant. The dude at this Jewelery store is scopin out her cleavage and spotting a pervert always makes me happy, you know reminding myself that I am not the only one. The difference is that if this was a pic of me scopin out a girl, she’d prolly be 15, and I’d prolly be her stepdad. It makes for pretty controversial x-mas cards, my fat wife eating a donut on her retard scooter, me and my 2 girls and a hand on each ass – staring at the older one’s titties. I would post it here, but then you’d all know who I am and I hate signing autographs/getting beaten up.

Posted in:Annoying|Boobs|cleavage|Fran Drescher|Jewish|the Nanny|Tits|Unsorted