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Archive for the cleavage Category

2008

21

Mar

Hilary Duff Showing Off Her Tits of the Day

9 Comments »

Here’s some stuff by Hilary Duff and by stuff I mean tits. Look down Hilary Duff’s shirt because it’s the closest you’ll ever get to her which is too bad because based on her tits – it looks like she’s on the pill and you know what they say about girls on the pill, they let you bang them without a condom and they can’t get pregnant…but after seeing what happened to Britney, I can be pretty sure she’s now one of those lame girls who you date all year hoping to just get a chance to bang her without a rubber but she always insists on using one, even though she’s on the pill and even after you’ve been tested for STDs numerous times which was never really an issue since you’re a virgin but you can never be too safe, plus that chick you wanted to bang worked at the clinic and you wanted her to think you were massively experienced.

BONUS – Some Hilary Duff Lookin’ Hot in Fishnets from the Other Day

Posted in:cleavage|Hilary Duff

2008

18

Mar

Ivanka Trump and Her Expensive Cleavage of the Day

3 Comments »

I met a poor chick who was so proud of her tits because she saved up all her money for so long to get them. She said that the first set cost her 8000 dollars and the upgrade was another 5000 dollars and that she had spent over 2 years saving for each. She insisted I fondle her tits to see how good they feel and because she wanted to break them in like a new pair of shoes. I feel like Ivanka Trump is a lot less generous with her purchases, mainly because she’s a rich kid and doesn’t understand that value of a dollar and the happiness that someone with no money has when they finally get something they want so badly.

Ivanka in her cleavage revealing dress, is like that rich kid you grew up with who always wanted you to go over but would never let you play with his Nintendo, you’d just sit there and watch the motherfucker and think to yourself how much of an asshole he was for showing the fuckin thing off but not letting you up in that like you wanted.

Posted in:cleavage|Ivanka Trump|Tits

2008

14

Mar

Mena Suvari’s Lame Lesbian Tattoo of the Day

18 Comments »

So Mena Suvari is a lesbian and this is her tattoo…it says Word, Sound and Power, in the event you don’t know how to read, which is pretty fucking possible considering the shit I attract to this site. Now for those of you who don’t know, Word, Sound and Power was some Reggae band in the 70s/80s and there was a movie about them that played at all art-house movie theaters in the 80s. I watched a documentary on the late night feature and this one was almost as popular as Rocky Horror Picture show. I guess it changed Mena Suvari’s life or some shit because she got it permanently branded on her back. Who knows, maybe they paid her to do it for the DVD release or some shit.

This is a lot like the time I convinced a whore I was fucking and who actually fell in love with me because whores turn out to be pretty vulnerable and always fall for the first guy who doesn’t ask them to insert things in their assholes, to tattoo my name on her pussy mound, knowing I was going to dump her a few weeks later, but just because I thought it was only fair to brand myself on her for life, like she branded me for live with the herpes virus. I also figured that I could become a local legend by using her pussy as a marketing tool, like some kind of billboard that all the Johns she’d later end up fucking for money would askwho this “Jesus Martinez” motherfucker on her pussy mound was leading her to tell the story of how I broke her heart and was the one who got away….

I guess Mena Suvari’s tattoo is not really like that story at all, and more like you getting your favorite band branded on you for life because their songs move you so much, only difference is that Mena Suvari’s getting pussy in all this and you’re not….

Posted in:cleavage|Mena Suvari|Tattoo

2008

14

Mar

Coco’s Got Some Crazy Tits of the Day

4 Comments »

It turns out that people actually care enough about Coco to get her to sign an autograph for them. That either shows how desperate some people can be or that you too can be a celebrity, all you need is some retarded fake tits, bleached hair and a rat actor/gangsta rapper boyfriend to take you to the top, if the top to you is being interviewed by Playboy and hosting Hawaiian Tropic events.

I am tired.

Posted in:cleavage|Coco|Tits

2008

10

Mar

Danica McKellar’s Got Some Cleavage of the Day

14 Comments »

TV in the late 80s and 90s made me question my sexuality, not because I actually thought I was into dudes but because the girls they used to play the love interests on the shows were always pretty fuckin’ busted. I am talking about Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years, Topanga from Boy Meets World, Claire Danes in My So Called Life and I am sure there were a lot more girls who were wrongfully casted on some Hayden Panettiere shit, but I was too busy getting drunk to care. They were successful into brainwashing the public into thinking these girls were worth jerking off to, while leaving people like me, who actually were into hot girls and not girls that were pretending to be hot confused because the guys on these shows along with every other easily manipulated horny teenage dude thought they were.

I always knew that if that bitch was at my school or lived in my suburb, the only dick she’d be getting would be from an uncle trying to live out some kind of sick fantasy, and I guess their careers since those shows just prove that I was right. I guess you can only trick us for so long TV.

Here is Danika McKellar at an event because I guess she still gets the occasional invite since their shows are still on TV even years after their 5 minutes dried up. I am just posting this as a reminder of how evil TV is.

Posted in:cleavage|Danica McKellar

2008

10

Mar

Paris Hilton’s Tits Rock Out With Good Charlotte Sister of the Day

7 Comments »

Paris made another appearance with the Good Charlotte sister, only this time it was in Vegas at a club because hosting events is pretty much the extent of Paris Hilton’s contribution to the world.

She is wearing some kind of miracle bra that would piss you off if you ever met a girl in a club with tits like this and brought her home to find out she’s staked like a 12 year old fat kid, but I guess that’s not really anything you’d know first hand, since the girls you get don’t actually exist and are just things you fantasize about in your depressing basement apartment.

I guess you could understand the frustration if you switched your fantasy up a little. So next time you jerk off, imagine the girl who you picked up at some exclusive event, with tits bigger than your head gets into your exotic sports car and starts suckin’ your 10 inch dick. Once you get her back to your luxury hotel suite that costs you 2500 dollars a night, but that doesn’t phase you because you’re so rich, she starts to undress. First the dress comes off, and her body is banging in some expensive sexy lingerie set and you pounce on her like a rabid dog. You go for her tits and all you find are silicone inserts and a really strong push-up wire bra that you awkwardly try to take off but can’t so she does it for you and next thing you know you’re trying to stick your dick into you best friend from elementary school who you spent everyday of summer vacation with.

I guess that’s the beauty of fantasy, they always go into weird dark places but no one needs to know how fucked the shit that makes you cum is. It’s your little secret to yourself. Kinda like when the Good Charlotte sister used to dyke out on each other back when they were 14 and experimenting their sexuality together. It’s their little secret that is only remembered by the matching soul-mate tattoos they got, but they never re-visit except when fuckin’ their 14 year old boy lookin’ girlfriends.

I guess the only thing faker than Paris’ Cleavage and Good Charlotte’s rockstar persona, because that shit is posing harder than the bra is squeezing her tits, is this staged relationship. Enjoy.

Posted in:cleavage|Good Charlotte|Paris Hilton|Tits

2008

07

Mar

Kristen Bell Showing Off Cleavage of the Day

9 Comments »

Kristen Bell and I connected at the soul because we were featured in the same magazine and if that’s not love. I don’t know know what love is. No seriously, I really don’t know what love is. All the love I’ve ever lied to myself about having has been for personal gain or for booze.

Either way, here’s Kristen Bell showing some cleavage at an Alzheimer’s party, because you know you can never forget how to get down proper….no matter how much you forget everything else about your life. In reality, the party only really gets started when Alzheimers becomes full blown dementia, because nothing gets the party started like flinging feces at the guests while screaming insanities…it’s so in style right now that celebrities like Britney Spears have started sporting the look.

Ok, enough of this stupidity, just look at her tits. Pervert..

Posted in:cleavage|Kristen Bell

2008

07

Mar

Paris Hilton and Her Useless Cleavage of the Day

8 Comments »

We all know that Paris Hilton contributes nothing to the world, not in the music or film world and not even in the porn world. The only reason her DVD did so well was because she was not the average porn star and it was a bitch we saw in the media being seen the way we wanted to see her and it wasn’t because we thought she was hot or important, it’s because we are just perverts and like seeing how bitches we see around fuck. It’s the same reason I have multiple restraining orders against me. I am not embarrassed to admit that I’ve climbed my fair share of fire escapes and trees in backyards and set up my fair share of hidden cameras in the bedrooms of girls I know who would never fuck me, just to see them in action out of curiosity, not out of some sick sexual perversion because it’s not like I was masturbating when I was doing it….but it turns out judges don’t really think that’s a valid defense.

Either way, here she is suckin’ at flaunting her cleavage, but I am posting it anyway, because tits are tits even when they are attached to a bitch we all can’t stand.

Posted in:cleavage|Paris Hilton|Tits|Useless

2008

07

Mar

Maria Kanellis at her Playboy Launch of the Day

3 Comments »

Here is some broken down WWE chick, Maria Kanellis and she’s celebrating her big Playboy spread. I guess she looks so happy because it’s pretty much the height of her career and she’s hoping it leads to better jobs for her by getting noticed by the public, instead of just by her creepy WWE fans. I am pretty sure when she was a little broken down slut back in her high school, she had would lie in bed at night and dream about the day a magazine will pay her to pose naked for her, because she realized that all that getting naked for free was only giving her some unwanted pregnancies and a false sense of popularity because the dudes in her school liked that she put out.

The good news is that she can take a beating and that’s what we all need out of a future wife, or girl we cut out naked pictures of and staple to our couches pretending she’s our wife, because when that cut out turns you down when you ask for a blowjob, it’s got another thing coming…so she knows better for next time….

Posted in:cleavage|Maria Kanellis|Playboy|WWE

2008

04

Mar

People Care About Hayden Panettiere of the Day

4 Comments »

I was pretty surprised to see Hayden Panettiere signing autographs because if I saw her in person, I’d be more inclined to challenge her to a wrestling match, and not the kind that I used to challenge girls to as foreplay that lead to me getting a boner and them ending up giving me a blow job, I am talking the kind of wrestling match this strong-man is training for that leads me in a coma because she’s quicker and stronger than a old washed up drunken cigar smoking pervert. If she turned me down, I’d just kick bitch in the knee to see how she reacts because I know that under that dress is a testosterone charged dude who really likes washing her face, at least that what she says in her commercial that is always on at my neighbors’ house….I know Hayden wouldn’t lie to me, not even for a big Neutrogena paycheck, she’s too busy doing push-ups for that.

Posted in:Autographs|cleavage|Hayden Panettiere