cleavage Archives - Page 17 of 28 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the cleavage Category

2008

Feb

Sofia Vergara’s Big Ol’ Mexican Tits Do the Oscars of the Day

It turns out that Elton John has AIDS…..parties, and at those AIDS parties he makes sure things are perfect. Being an outrageous and rich gay dude means he can afford to do things you don’t see at your average birthday party in the McDonalds party room.

I remember going to some gay dude’s party once, thinking there would be hungry pussy for straight dick and when I got there all I saw was a pile of speed on the table, different colored lightbulbs in the lamps and condoms everywhere, not like anyone was going to use them. It was like we were in some kind of exotic bath house, and it turned out that we were, but I only realized it when I saw no pussy but lots of man on man blowjobs, which leads me to believe that you can never trust a gay dude, but they can always hook you up with speed.

Either way, I am sure Elton John goes all out in his parties because the cause is dear to him because he is Gay Married and AIDs is a Gay Disease, so he hires party planners and decorators and high class chefs with open bars and great entertainment with a star studded guestlist and he even makes the hired help dress up in hot dresses with their tits busting out of her dress and this one is named Sofia Vergara and she’s slowly making a name for herself…one day she’ll be out of the business of making beds in hotel rooms and into the business of making you horny on the big screen. We all have dreams.

Related Posts:

Sofia Vergara is Big Breasted Mexican

Posted in:cleavage|Sofia Vergara|Tits

2008

Feb

Christina Milian’s Tits in Wallpaper of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Christina Milian. I guess she’s trying to get back into the limelight since she was such a successful triple threat, you know with her one hit and shitty acting roles. Unfortunately she wants to draw attention to herself by dressing in your grandmother’s curtains. Maybe bitch has burned through all her money and put her mom’s seamstress skills to test because she finally got invited to some kind of event. I guess it’s possible that she thought shit was hot. There was a time in my life where I thought rockin’ a puke stained t-shirt was hardcore, like no one fucks with a dude covered in puke, but it turns out that shit just stank and people would just avoid me because it was gross and not because it meant that I didn’t give a fuck.

She’s still got tits and I still jerk off to the Dip It Low video, unfortunately my dick doesn’t work, but I guess that doesn’t matter because either does she….

Related Posts:

Christina Milian in Some Tight Shiny Pants
Christina Milian Bikini Pictures
Christina Milian in Some Whore Boots
Christina Milian on Halloween

Posted in:Christina Milian|cleavage|Tits

2008

Feb

Megan Fox has Lohan on Her Arm of the Day

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Here are some pictures of a classy Megan Fox with her shitty tattoo and hot tits that got her out of the gutter she obviously came from because no girl from money would be impressed by Brian Austin Green enough to let him have sex with them.

I read somewhere that bitch was poverty and luckily for her family, she wasn’t ugly, because when you’re poor and have a good lookin’ kid, it only means one thing and that is a meal ticket. The reason is that poor ugly girl just have absolutely no hope where as a hot poor girl can always find a way out, whether it’s sucking dick for money, dancing on a pole for money, or hooking up with older married men, getting pregnant and blackmailing them for money. There are options…

I guess the point of all this is to say that her Marilyn Monroe tattoo is obsolete now that Lohan has taken on her personal and trying to steal her thunder. Now every time anyone looks at Megan Fox they are going to think of Lohan. It’s kinda like the time a friend of mine drank the last beer, so I fucked this girlfriend when they were on a break and gave her herpes, knowing they would get back together and every time she gets an outbreak they’ll think of me. I win motherfucker….

Related Posts:

Megan Fox and a Hot Water Bottle
Megan Fox Gets Coffee With Her Lame Boyfriend
Megan Fox Has Hard Nipples
Megan Fox Lookin Good in Red
Megan Fox and Her Boyfriend
Megan Fox in a Pink Dress

Posted in:cleavage|Lohan|Megan Fox|Tattoo|Tits

2008

Feb

Christina Ricci’s Tits Have Prison Tattoos of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Christina Ricci’s wild tattooed past making an appearance at the premiere of Penelope, which is the gayest sounding name for a fucking movie that makes me want to take up ballet or sucking dick in back alley’s or something…

This is about as exciting as watching the girl in your office bend over at the water cooler revealing the tattoo on her lower back that you know she got in college when dudes had her bent on all fours and took it from behind over and over again the way you want to, but unfortunately she’s married and settled down now….I guess that’s assuming you actually work in an office and there’s an recovered slut who works there, but you know what I’m saying…but I don’t because I’ve never worked in an office and all the bitches I ever landed in my past were badly tattooed to shit because of ex-drug dealing boyfriends and their homemade tattoo guns that gave them hepatitis. I think my fat wife may have a tattoo on her ass too, but she got it when she wasn’t fat so shit just looks like one of her bed sores.

I guess the most unfortunate thing about these pictures of Christina Ricci is knowing the she had a breast reduction a couple of years back because if she hadn’t she probably would have had an easier time filling out this dress.

Related Posts:

Christina Ricci in a Bikini
Christina Ricci in Some Sexy Photoshoot
Older Christina Ricci Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Christina Ricci|cleavage|Tattoos

2008

Feb

Olivia Munn and Her Crazy Cleavage of the Day

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I don’t watch G4TV because I have had sex but you gotta give them some respect for what they are doing by hiring a slut like Olivia Munn because it gives virgins everywhere the hope that they will find a hot, big breasted fantasy girl like the ones they see in their comic books, who actually knows and understands their interests, even though she’s not all that hot but is to someone who has never fucked before she is, That’s not saying much though, considerin when you’ve never had pussy before, a bowl of jello looks like a hot fuck to you, but that’s just because you can eat it when you’re done.

I guess the good news for the non virgins out there is that this bitch is out at an event showing off her big old tits and no matter how many times you fuck in a day, you will always love tits, but if you’re reading this site and looking at pictures of some girls cleavage here, you probably aren’t so much of a non virgin, even though you count that time you stuck the tip in.

Speaking of tip, I was at a coffee shop the other day with a handful of change. After paying for my shit I decided to give the cute girl a tip because she was wearing a low-cut shirt and not the same kind of tip you consider counts as losing your viriginity. I accidentally dropped all the money I had in her tip jar and couldn’t figure out how to get it back without getting caught. I decided that I wasn’t going to be homeless about the shit and fish through her tip jar like some desperate motherfucker in need of a smoke, which I am but don’t like to advertise that fact, so instead I just took the entire tip jar and ran. I feel like the 5 dollars I threw in made it mine. and it was a great purchase because it had 20 dollars in it.

Related Posts:
Olivia Munn in a Bikini for Complex

Posted in:cleavage|Olivia Munn|Tits

2008

Feb

Meagan Good’s Got Gooder Cleavage Than Me of the Day

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Meagan Good is busting out of her dress at some NCAAP event that was held on Valentine’s Day. I don’t know if any of you remember but back when I was called a racist, I donated $5 to the NCAAP so I like to think I contributed to this event and helped make it possible. That’s why I am pretty offended that I wasn’t invited to attend. Sure I’m not black and don’t really do anything for black people but I gave them my money and that’s more support than they’ve ever given me. So who’s the fucking racist now NCAAP…..I guess that means I have no choice but to start a war on the NCAAP, but will probably end up shot in a drive by shooting or some shit.

I’m going to turn on some Hip Hop and stare at these pictures of Meagan Good’s tits while pretending that I got her knocked up and refused to allow my name on the birth certificate like I was Eddy Murphy so that it doesn’t come an bite me in the ass or wallet, because that’s what having illegitimate babies is all about when you live in the projects. Gangsta.

Posted in:cleavage|Meagan Good|Nipple

2008

Feb

Lindsay Lohan is my Valentine of the Day

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So Lohan doesn’t know this site exists but she’s been my Valentine for the last 3 years I have been doing this shit. I decided a long time ago that I needed to focus on one celebrity back then and I went with Lohan. I ended up scoring her phone number and left her a lot of creepy messages on her answering machine in hopes of her filing a restraining order or to even get me arrested. I figured it would have been good publicity and since she’s so loose in the hips, I probably would have ended up marrying her. She never called me back so I’d like to say something like “it’s her loss” like I am better than she is and like she’s missing out or something that makes my low self esteem feel better about myself, but I figure that the reality is that we are both missing out because a love this strong shouldn’t be ignored…and by love I mean I want to get her pregnant and live on her couch because it would make for a better life.

Either way, she brought her tits out for you all to enjoy and this is where the jealousy comes in and I gotta say stop lookin’ at my girl like that motherfucker. It’s making me mad. Cuddles.

PS – I can’t link to my stalker posts because my site is broken….but if you’re crafty enough you will use the search box to find it….

Posted in:cleavage|Lindsay Lohan|Soulmate|Tits

2008

Feb

Elisha Cuthbert’s Got Some Cleavage of the Day

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Elisha Cuthbert is from Montreal and has a sister. I met someone who knows her and I decided that it would be funny to do stalker videos of her doing everyday things without her knowing. A little Elisha Cuthbert’s sister drunk leaving a club or Elisha Cuthbert’s sister buying milk or Elisha Cuthbert’s sister on a date. The lead I had told me she’s some store manager so I thought shit was easy. I figured that because her sister is an unsuccessful actress in Hollywood, she has to work retail to pay the bills, but then I was told that she doesn’t actually work and is hard to stalk because she thinks she’s some kind of local celebrity because of her sister’s fame so the idea was put on the back burner until I get more info.

It turns out that Elisha Cuthbert still has some tits and here are some pictures of her showing them off. The last I heard she was a lesbian with Paris Hilton and her lesbian haircut pretty much proves that to be a fact. So do her lesbian boots that I suspect are steel toed and go amazing with her flannel she left at home.

Either way, since she fucks Paris, I guess that means she’s got herpes, what I call the gift that keeps on giving… Paris is a modern day Mother Theresa, or even Santa Claus. She just keeps on handing that shit out like everyday is Christmas or like shit grows on trees, which I guess technically it does, because last I heard Paris had a pet monkey living in her box, no wait that was just Nicole Richie and they were just experimenting.

Elisha Cuthbert, if I was a hockey playing lesbian, would you be my Valentine?

Here are some pictures of Paris’ Practice Pussy that is now Damaged Goods in the world of Lesbianism because she has a boyfriend who “knocked” her up, when I really think dude’s just a bitch on hormone therapy cuz no man would be such a cunt….Nicole Richie showing off her pregnancy tits.

Posted in:cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert|Tits

2008

Feb

Christina Aguilera’s Got Some Big Baby Tits of the Day

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Christina Aguilera may look like a cheap hooker who was raped and left to die but came back to life because she had some exclusive event she was hired to escort some rich dude to and that hope of having a big break gave her the will to survive, but the reality is that she’s a mother and deserves a little more respect than that, even though your perverted self is blinded by her tits. I think it’s important to remember that those big tits aren’t something to jerk off to but are a source of nourishment to another life and we can all just keep our dicks in our pants and accept the fact that her baby gets more action than you. Who cares that the girl had big fake tits before the pregnancy and even bigger milk filled fake tits with the pregnancy and it’s pretty much nature’s way, except for the fake tit part, so our making a spectacle of them is pretty fucking desperate. I guess the same can be said for her, but her body is probably beat the fuck up and has things hanging where they never hung, so drawing some sexual attention to herself with her tits is probably some kind of need to still feel wanted….because she knows when she looks in the mirror that even she wouldn’t fuck herself, but we all know you would and probably while the baby watched, because you’re a sick exhibitionist like that…but I can’t blame you, we’ve all got needs.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|cleavage|Tits

2007

Nov

I am – Nicole Scherzinger’s Bra is Rockin’ the Vote of the Day

1 Comment »

Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger wants you to rock the vote, because her publicist probably told her it’d be a good idea to attend the event, while her stylist felt that it’d be hot for her to wear some intense bra under her lowcut shirt for a reason I’ll never understand, because there’s nothing worse than a girl in a backless dress and a bra, or a tube top with bra straps hanging out. I am guessing it’s because this bitch needs all the support she can get, because she even old bitches who look like some kind of live action real doll need the magic of a wonderbra too.

I was at some bar last night drinking and this young girl in a jewish outfit of the day was dancing on the stage rockin’ the stripper pole. She ended up pulling down her dress and I was all excited to see some tit only to reveal some American Apparel leotard shit that she was wearing under her dress. I didn’t understand what the fuck she was doing with all these layers, it was some kind of shit that will annoy the motherfucker who ended up taking her home, because dude’s gotta be some kind of David Blaine to undress her. Maybe she was trying to be funny, like these whores I played strip poker with a couple of months ago. I fucking hate all board games and card games, because I guess I hate fun and feel like a fucking asshole when doing it, but the idea of seeing these young whores naked was enough to make me give into the gayness. What I didn’t know was that they were each wearing 5 pairs of fucking socks, 2 pairs of pants and 3 pairs of underwear and I don’t even thing I got them down to the bottom layer. Shit was like trying to get to the middle of a tootsie pop, but didn’t taste as good.

Related Posts:

Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video
Pussycat Doll’s Pussy Cleavage
Pussycat Dolls Performing
Pam Anderson is a Pussycat Doll

Posted in:Bra|cleavage|Nicole Scherzinger|Unsorted