cleavage Archives - Page 18 of 28 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

13

Nov

I am – Ashlee Simpson’s Lookin’ Alright of the Day

I have decided to make my site for hot chicks and only hot chicks so if you aren’t a hot chick, leave and never come back, this place isn’t for you. If you are a hot chick, then hey baby, what’s up? Do you come here often? You know I write this site don’t you? Does that make you want to shower for me? Let’s get busy.

That’s enough dreamin’, I know you are a dude and I am over it, but I am not over this Simpson sister because Ashlee’s lookin’ better than usual, I guess dating fags does good things for a girl. He probably does her hair and make-up and dresses her to look stylish, before crying himself to sleep and writing about it for his next Fall Out Boy song about how misunderstood he is. Or maybe the Botox she’s getting at 23 to make her eyes look bigger is pullin’ through. By the time bitch hits 30 she may end up doing Kanye West’s mother’s dance, I hear it’s like Souja Boy, but more dead.

Yeah, I know Soulja Boy is dying fast, but it’s still alive enough for my joke to make sense, even if my joke wasn’t funny.

Related Posts:

Ashlee Simpson Dates Bi-Sexuals
Some Ashlee Simpson Bikini
More Ashlee Simpson’s Bikini
Ashlee Simspon’s Nipple

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|cleavage|Hot|Unsorted

2007

08

Nov

I am – Jewel has Some Weird Cleavage of the Day

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Jewel is from Alaska. She is a woman of the wilderness, she lived in a log cabin and hunted bears. She fished and ran around in the snow barefoot. She climbed mountains, rolled around in the snow, her first boyfriend was a salmon who swam upstreamâ€¦she took him under her hairy armpit and he made her cum harder than the ice dildos she was using before he came into her lifeâ€¦.after Sammy the Salmon died, Jewel, in an emotional rage took a walk to California, where she launched her tree hugging, woman of the wilderness with an acoustic guitar in song career, that makes for amazing masturbation music, but apparently didn’t make her enough money to fix her disgusting teeth. Now she’s gone and married some Country Music Star and that motherfucker has ruined the one thing this woman of the wilderness had going for her and that’s her tits.

Like Sammy the Salmon, the fuckers have decomposed and have been given back to the land where they came from, which isn’t that big of a deal, because small tits are hot, but by the look of these fuckers, they are just empty skin sacs that hang off her body, like my wife’s clitoral hood that we haven’t been able to locate in 5 years because shits fuckin’ buried deep.

I guess the point of all this is to say that tits don’t make a woman. Vagina does. So as long as she’s still got her box, and her acoustic guitar, the only foolish game tearing you apart will be the fact that she would never give you the time of day, because you’re not as cool as her Country Star husband, and that’s pretty fuckin’ depressing…just look at him and you’re understand why…..

Related Posts:

Jewel’s Happy Marriage of the Day

Posted in:cleavage|Jewel|Tits|Unsorted

2007

06

Nov

I am – Leelee Sobiesky’s Tits at Some Event of the Day

1 Comment »

My internet has been down the last 4 hours and by my internet, I mean the wireless connection I steal from someone in the neighborhood, which actually surprises me because everyone around here are hurting more than I am, but that’s only because I have a wife on disability, paying all my shit for me and I distract myself from my unhappiness with this site. So I called tech support for every internet company I could find in the phonebook and no one was willing to help me because I have no idea who’s connection I am stealing and they don’t seem to keen on helping people who call complaining about connections they steal being down, I think I should write them a letter because I think that’s discrimination but that’s not the point, the point is that I am back on now and so are Leelee Sobieski’s tits at some event, because you all know I don’t discriminate against big tits because they make an ugly woman much more appealing to fuck, unless she is fat, in which case you just close your eyes and ride that shit out, all over the floor.

Related Posts:

Leelee Sobieski is Boring as Fuck on Halloween
Leelee Sobieski Has Big Tits in PVC
Leelee Sobieski Has Big Tits in a Bow Tie
Leelee Sobieski Has Big Tits in a Dress

Posted in:cleavage|Leelee Sobieski|Tits|Unsorted

2007

06

Nov

I am – Leelee Sobiesky's Tits at Some Event of the Day

No Comments »

My internet has been down the last 4 hours and by my internet, I mean the wireless connection I steal from someone in the neighborhood, which actually surprises me because everyone around here are hurting more than I am, but that’s only because I have a wife on disability, paying all my shit for me and I distract myself from my unhappiness with this site. So I called tech support for every internet company I could find in the phonebook and no one was willing to help me because I have no idea who’s connection I am stealing and they don’t seem to keen on helping people who call complaining about connections they steal being down, I think I should write them a letter because I think that’s discrimination but that’s not the point, the point is that I am back on now and so are Leelee Sobieski’s tits at some event, because you all know I don’t discriminate against big tits because they make an ugly woman much more appealing to fuck, unless she is fat, in which case you just close your eyes and ride that shit out, all over the floor.

Related Posts:

Leelee Sobieski is Boring as Fuck on Halloween
Leelee Sobieski Has Big Tits in PVC
Leelee Sobieski Has Big Tits in a Bow Tie
Leelee Sobieski Has Big Tits in a Dress

Posted in:cleavage|Leelee Sobieski|Tits|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Nicole Scherzinger’s Got Tits of the Day

9 Comments »

People like to rip into this bitch for not having much talent and lookin’ like a man. I don’t know what kind of chick’s you’re fucking, but I have seen her video and her body is so fucking tight that I have no concerns about her rugged lookin’ face or her adam’s apple because I am too busy trying to figure out how the fuck she got the way she did. I am figuring she works out all the fuckin’ time and it’s workin’ out for her. If only every busted faced whore hit the fucking gym, the world be a better fucking place because I’ll take a hot body over a pretty face any day and you’d take pretty much anything that isn’t your hand if the opportunity presented itself and that’s why you should be the last one giving her a hard time about having a hard face and spend more time lookin’ at her hard tits.

Related Posts:

Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video
Nicole Scherzinger’s Nipple in Her Music Video
Nicole Scherzinger is the Leader of the Pack

Posted in:cleavage|Nicole Scherzinger|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Nicole Scherzinger's Got Tits of the Day

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People like to rip into this bitch for not having much talent and lookin’ like a man. I don’t know what kind of chick’s you’re fucking, but I have seen her video and her body is so fucking tight that I have no concerns about her rugged lookin’ face or her adam’s apple because I am too busy trying to figure out how the fuck she got the way she did. I am figuring she works out all the fuckin’ time and it’s workin’ out for her. If only every busted faced whore hit the fucking gym, the world be a better fucking place because I’ll take a hot body over a pretty face any day and you’d take pretty much anything that isn’t your hand if the opportunity presented itself and that’s why you should be the last one giving her a hard time about having a hard face and spend more time lookin’ at her hard tits.

Related Posts:

Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video
Nicole Scherzinger’s Nipple in Her Music Video
Nicole Scherzinger is the Leader of the Pack

Posted in:cleavage|Nicole Scherzinger|Unsorted

2007

01

Nov

I am – Tera Patrick Does Halloween of the Day

1 Comment »

Girls don’t understand that after we’re through banging them, we really want nothing to do with them, until the next time we want to bang them and have no better pussy lined up. That’s how people end up married, they get hooked on the constant sex that takes little to no work to get, because we are lazy. The same goes for porn. Once we’ve seen a girl fuck a ton of dudes and suck a ton of dicks, we’ve pretty much got no use for her, because we know we’d never fuck her and if we really wanted to, we’d just have to come up with about 10,000 dollars, because all pornstars escort on the side. So I don’t even know why I am posting these Tera Patrick pics, she’s pretty much dead to me and I don’t even watch porn. People never believe me when I say that, but it’s true. Maybe it’s because my penis doesn’t work and I can’t pretend I am the dude fucking some nasty big pussied whore but I think it’s just because I don’t like what porn chicks look like. I am more into amateur shit, but that’s just because watching real couples fuck is real and not performance art like the studio shit, not that there’s much art or performing involved, but shit’s not real.

Either way, here’s Tera Patrick wearing more clothes than we’re used to seeing her disgusting ass in, eating more food than her fat back probably needs and rockin’ out with her pimp of a husband who probably feels like he won the lottery, but that’s just because he’s bald and Jewish and she’s good for business, and by business I mean managing her is his source of income…but I am sure they are in love….just look how he sticks his tongue out at her like she’s an ice cream cone if you don’t believe me…because everyone loves ice cream, especially my wife.

Related Posts:

Tera Patrick Last Halloween
Tera Patrick’s Showing Off Her Huge Rack
Tera Patrick Showing Off Her Tits

2007

01

Nov

I am – Paris Hilton Dresses Like Herself for Halloween of the Day

1 Comment »

I was going to say that these are some pictures of Paris Hilton dressed like herself, looking like she always does, but in her stupid mind, she probably thinks she’s supporting the troops or some shit, but then this video landed in my inbox and in it she says “I’m wearing this for the troops because I know they’re having a hard time right now and don’t really get to celebrate Halloween.” I think the war would be a lot more fun if the troops actually dressed like this, it’d be like watching a bad drag show where they kill each other, but I guess we’ll just have to leave it up to Paris to be the bad drag show, while living her life of luxury and real people are dying. If she really wanted to support the troops in Iraq, maybe she’d head out there and let them fuck her so that they can get sick leave, or maybe she could send each one of them 10,000 dollars to help pay for the therapy they’re all going to have to go through when it’s all over. Point of this post is that Paris is a cunt….and I know someone who booked her to host their party and she charged 30,000 dollars and an 8-Ball of coke. True Story.

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Bonus Pictures of Her in Dancing With Sluts and Midgets in Another Costume Inside the Club Dressed as “Jail Bait” Because Irony is What Paris Does…Since She Was in Jail and Is Far From Jail Bait….Maybe 10 Years Ago…Now She’s Just Washed Up, Haggard and Has Had a Couple Hundred Too Many Dicks…

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Related Posts:

Paris Hilton Does Halloween
Paris Hilton Does Montreal and stepTV
Paris Hilton Partying

2007

31

Oct

I am – Christina Milian’s Halloween Costume of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Christina Milian in her Halloween costume, because today is Halloween and a time to dress up like an asshole and have a good fucking time doing it, while everyone laughs at each other and you end up going home with the girl dressed like a princess or a dirty cop or a slut to live out some kind of fantasy that on any other day would throw off the girl you’re slamming.

I once asked a girl to dress like an aborted fetus while I dressed up like the “abortion” doctor so that we could live out my abortion fantasy and she wasn’t having it, probably because it was on Valentines Day and because it made her feel uncomfortable, because she had an abortion when she was 17 and never really got over it but I know if I had dropped that shit on her on Halloween, it would have all been gravy, and by gravy I mean fake blood and pussy juice.

Related Posts:

Christina Milian’s Whore Boots
Teri Hatcher Ruins Halloween
Paris Hilton Does Halloween
Tera Patrick’s Halloween Costume Pictures

Posted in:Christina Milian|cleavage|Halloween|Unsorted|Vampire

2007

31

Oct

I am – Christina Milian's Halloween Costume of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Christina Milian in her Halloween costume, because today is Halloween and a time to dress up like an asshole and have a good fucking time doing it, while everyone laughs at each other and you end up going home with the girl dressed like a princess or a dirty cop or a slut to live out some kind of fantasy that on any other day would throw off the girl you’re slamming.

I once asked a girl to dress like an aborted fetus while I dressed up like the “abortion” doctor so that we could live out my abortion fantasy and she wasn’t having it, probably because it was on Valentines Day and because it made her feel uncomfortable, because she had an abortion when she was 17 and never really got over it but I know if I had dropped that shit on her on Halloween, it would have all been gravy, and by gravy I mean fake blood and pussy juice.