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Archive for the Kate Beckinsale Category

2011

12

Oct

Kate Beckinsale’s Ass in a Bikini of the Day

2 Comments »

I was first introduced to Kate Beckinsale by a virgin loser you could probably relate to. He invited me to his apartment cuz he was trying to collect me as a friend cuz collecting was all he knew and I was trying to get free beer. He put in the Movie underwood and told me it was the 50th time he watched it and it’s at the point where he can recite it and reenact it as soon as he finds other virgin losers to perform it with him in the park between medeval sword fighting simulation….and dude couldn’t contain his excitement a director’s cut was coming out cuz it was like a whole new movie, before showing me 3 photo albums of her pictures cut out and cropped, the creepiest of the pics being his head and her head cut out on a porn pic….

All this to say, I was never that much of a fan, but she’s pushing 40, her ass is amazing, she gets half naked, despite being a mom, and above all she’s from the UK, all odds against her…but for some reason…she remains spectacular……

Here are some bikini pics…

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Posted in:Kate Beckinsale

2011

17

Jan

Kate Beckinsale Bikini Pictures of the Day

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I like Kate Beckinsale. I’m not one of those weird virgin losers who has 15 copies of Underworld strategically hidden around the house in the event the aliens take over the world…I just think she looks good.

It always amazes me that this woman is a mom….not a teen mom, or a young mom who made a bad decision at a young age in hopes to keep her boyfriend at the time, but a real life mom, she’s 37 years old…and that’s just crazy to me…maybe because I am used to people from the UK looking like they crawled out of a Chimney they were caught in for 50 years, in some industrial age sweatshop hustle…or maybe it’s an optical illusion cuz she’s wearing her daughter’s skirt bikini….making us think she can’t be a day over 10….but it really doesn’t matter….she’s in a bikini and you should be looking at it.


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Posted in:Kate Beckinsale

2010

01

Nov

Kate Beckinsale Tits on Halloween of the Day

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Who the fuck care’s about Kate Beckinsale’s hot mom body in costume…she is a hot mom with a hot mom body and she doesn’t have to get done up in costumes for me to appreciate her…she can wear a pair of shit stained sweat pants that smell like cheese from some fat man who doesn’t wash’s ass and I’d still want to lick her asshole after she took a shit when she was freshly out of toilet paper…

But what I do care about is that last night I found the college girls who dress slutty everyday cuz they know they have hot bodies far less interesting than seeing the 45-60 year old women in slutty costumes cuz they don’t dress slutty ever. It was the first time I actually caught myself checking out an old bitch in lacey booty shorts over her daughter who was typical and probably had bikinis more intense than the shit sh was wearing.

It was a turning point in my life. I am not gonna say I’m into old pussy officially, cuz that could be the end of me…but i will say…I saw the fuckin’ light…and now I regret not going for older experienced cunt who don’t give a fuck and just want to get off, who know how to get off, who like things in their ass, cuz the kids made their pussies loose and they are aware guys like tight things and most importantly they don’t use condoms cuz they are from before AIDs back when my dick still worked…but instead I just spent my time creeping on girls who never put out cuz they found me creepy….Too late now…I guess I’m with Stupid.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale

2010

06

Sep

Kate Beckinsale in a Bikini for Labor Day of the Day

5 Comments »

I always find it hard to believe that Kate Beckinsale is pretty much a 40 years old mom, only because I love her body…and not because I am a fan of hers, since her only fans are weird, socially awkward nerds who have every edition of Underworld still wrapped and on their shelf with the other DVDs they collect and don’t open, since buying shit and not using it makes sense to their virgin loser way, along with having Star Wars toys lying around your house, despite the fact that you are a grown man, only to tell anyone who comes by that you have no interest in EVER tasting pussy.

Beckinsale, mom pussy or not…accomplished actress or not…useful or not…old lady or not….is pretty fucking spectacular.

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Posted in:Kate Beckinsale

2010

07

May

Hot Mom Kate Beckinsale at the Doctors of the Day

3 Comments »

I have a thing for hanging outside of the Doctor’s office down the street from me because I don’t have a TV and I can let my imagination go wild as bitches roll through the fucking place. I see them in the waiting room and I try to determine why they are there. Is it because of a yeast infection, or a horrible STD, are they spotting, or late on their period, do they feel a lump in their tit, or are they getting an aborition, is there a pregnancy exam going on, has she accidentally lost a condom or dildo inside her, or are they there for an innocent ailment but the doctor steps up the creepy and insists on digging through their pussy for answers….as far as I’m concerned it’s never because of a flu, cold, cut that needs stitches, sprained ankle, or shitting issues or even medicinal marijuana prescriptions cuz that would make my afternoons at the walk in clinic way more fucking boring than they already are….not to mention far less sexy….

So I don’t know why hot mom Kate Beckinsale is at the doctor, but I think it’s safe to assume it’s got to do with her hot mom pussy….cuz why else would a bitch go to a doctor….Seriously….

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Posted in:Doctor|Kate Beckinsale

2009

03

Dec

Kate Beckinsale and Zooey Deschanel for Absolut Vodka of the Day

2 Comments »

Two of my favorite things in life is booze and useless pussy. Here are a few ads for Absolut Vodka that are pretty fucking boring to me, because I like usually like drinking my booze and not looking at pictures of my booze, and I definitely prefer real women to pictures of women posing, and I really prefer those real women to be fuckin soaked through proper in booze, because historically, drunk bitches are easier to fuck, especially if you slip some shit in their drink and drag them out by their hair….

Either way, I don’t drink Absolut and I’m pretty much willing to drink everything, even rubbing alcohol if it’s cut with enough juice so that I don’t go blind, and maybe they should fix their formula before paying big money for this fancy art fag campaigns….because when I think of alcohol and women together, I usually expect to be slipping my hand down her fucking pants as she’s passed out in the corner….

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Here’s Zooey Deschanel….I don’t remember what she does…But now she has the credit of being in a boring Absolut campaign to add to her already very impressive resume……I don’t know what I am talking about.

Posted in:Absolut Vodka|Advertising|Kate Beckinsale|Zooey Deschanel

2009

04

Nov

Kate Beckinsale is the Hot Mother of the Day

2 Comments »

Kate Beckinsale’s a mom. That always amazes me because the mom’s I know just don’t look like this. She’s got a hot fuckin’ body and her being worth fucking is the one thing I can agree with those virgin comic book losers who buy multiple copies of the movie Underworld, you know one to keep in the package, one to use to watch, one as a back up because virgin comic book losers are good collectors, excpet when it comes to collecting memories of all the pussy they’ve fucked, I mean that and that masturbation rocks.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Hot|Kate Beckinsale

2009

29

Sep

Kate Beckinsale Brings the Donuts of the Day

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< I have a fat wife. Like a real fucking fat wife and donuts played a large part in her obesity due to her donut obsession. Seriously, She would go out with friends at 10 at night, usually at the local Dunkin Donuts and I'd be out drunk and come home at 4 in the morning drunk and she would still not be home, so I'd walk to the 24 hour Dunkin Donuts and she'd be there on her fourteenth donut and fifth hot chocolate and I'd have to drag her home. It was like that period of time I would see her get fatter and fatter everyday, and after you see something pretty much murder someone's sex appeal, not that she was hot to begin with, you can never really look the same at the thing again, especially when I'm stuck married to the bitch with no sex appeal... So everytime I see donut shops or people eating the shit, I feel sick to my fucking stomach, but for sme reason when Kate Beckinsale does it, I get fucking hard, and getting hard to being with is a struggle for me, especially with the one thing I consider my enemy, which are donuts. That said, I am so fucking shocked by this girl and her body, I do not understand how she has a kid, cuz kids normally ravage a woman like donuts ravaged my wife, clearly she's from a super genetic code, or maybe she's just the God Mother and the kids parents died in a fiery car accident or somehting, cuz it's just not human for her to be this good. Not to suck up or anything....cuz that's really not my style....I can't help but appreciate her....don't judge.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Donuts|Kate Beckinsale

2009

17

Jul

Kate Beckinsale and Her Leggings of the Day

1 Comment »

I am always amazed when I remember that Kate Beckinsale’s got a kid. I’m sure she found the shit on the side of the road, or maybe it was her dying drug addict sister’s who needed a home, because it makes no sense to me that shit grew inside of her and ripped its way out of her, her body is too tight.

My only issue with Kate Beckinsale or giving her love for lookin’ good is that it makes me feel like a virgin werido who collects action figures because she did some movie that I’ve never seen called Underworld, but apparently every dude who can’t get pussy has and have since plastered their walls with her picture and name their pet iguana after her and shit.

Here she is leaving the gym in leggings or some shit.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Leggings|Mom

2009

20

Feb

Kate Beckinsale and Her Leather Dress of the Day

14 Comments »

Kate Beckinsale shoulda have been wearing this dress the night she got pregnant, because instead of bustin inside her, baby daddy would have taken advantage of this special occasion outfit to see his seed roll down off it, at least I hear that’s what people who fuck people in latex are into, meaning like every other time he had sex, shit wouldn’t have stuck on the womb, but it really doesn’t matter because I think she’s bounced back from that pregnancy shit quite amazingly and if only more mom’s were like her, maybe the world would be a better place and men wouldn’t resent their wives for giving them a life sentence with a fatter ass than they married…..

Posted in:Dress|Kate Beckinsale|Leather