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Archive for the Legs Category

2008

23

Oct

Gisele’s Skinny Model Legs of the Day

The one good thing about models, even if the model in question was born with a penis, or at least looks like she was because she has the hardest fucking face around, it their legs. They generally don’t have tits, don’t have an ass, and may not even have a pussy, but long skinny legs are always fun to look at, especially when your life revolves around a wife who doesn’t have knees anymore, but instead has a set of deep set dimples where her knees were buried in obesity. Sure, you may not want legs you can wear as a scarf because you find shit bony and creepy, but walk a mile in my shoes before judging me, because the last time my wife tried to put her leg on my shoulder it dislocated, and instead of it feeling like I was wearing a scarf and about to go for an amazing lunch, it felt like I was in a work related accident at a chemical factory that smelled like shit, or maybe being smothered by a hundred pound bag of rancid cottage cheese that smelled like shit, or even like getting stuck under a bouncy castle with a preschool of kids jumping on the shit after half of them accidentally shit themselves with excitement, explaining the smell of shit, all with no way out but suicide and that probably traumatized me enough to be drawn to these long and luxurious model legs.

Posted in:Gisele|Legs|Skinny

2008

22

Oct

Lauren Conrad Shows Off her Legs of the Day

People say Lauren Conrad is useless, and I say that’s bullshit, her show is useless, there’s no doubt about that, butaccording to these pictures she’s got a decent set of legs, both feet, both arms and both hands. I mean I’ve met amputees and they don’t really give a very good handjob, if you know what I mean…..

She’s also got a mouth, tits, an ass and a pussy. Making her as useful as any girl can possibly get. So stop hating on her, while I stop posting on the site, because this post was a fucking travesty and I think I’m better suited to go out drinking because I need new material and it is Wednesday night afterall….

Posted in:Lauren Conrad|Legs

2008

23

Sep

Sophie Monk Shows Off Some Leg of the Day

I went to a bar once and in the corner was a creepy lonely lookin guy on the piano. He was playing the song “Lady in Red” over and over and he sounded sad. He kept ordering cocktails and I knew that he never planned his life to end up in a dive bar playing the piano. I could tell he had dreams of grandeur, you know, to take his talent to the top of the charts like he was Elton John, but instead was living in a studio apartment with no hot water and playing the piano in exchange for free booze.

Either way, I got fed up of hearing the Lady in Red song, it was a little tedious after the 4th time, so I went up to him and tried to chat him up and win him over, after realizing he was a miserable person, I snuck in a little “do you know any other songs” and he went rabid. His eyes widened and he screamed “I play what I fell like playing, now get the fuck away from me” before breaking down and running off to the bathroom, 5 minutes later he was back at the bar, ordering another drink and 5 minutes later, he was back at the piano playing Lady in Red again.

I feel like his personal torment was on the same level of Sophie Monk’s after he fiance left her for Paris Hilton. That’s the kind of thing that makes a person want to kill themselves, so it’s nice to see that she’s surviving and showing off her legs and hair extensions while doin’ it.

Posted in:Legs|Sophie Monk

2008

12

Sep

How About Some Winonna Ryder Legs of the Day

I figure these will be the last pictures I post this week, because like Winona Ryder, I am old, tired and have nothing to offer the world but am just happy that at one point in time people liked me enough to give me work to fill up my bank account enough to carry me through the rest of my life, except for the whole being happy that at one point in time people liked me enough to give me work to fill up my bank account enough to carry me through the rest of my life part, because I am poor.

I never found Winona hot. I didn’t care when she got arrested for shoplifting, I didn’t care when I realized she had bigger tits than I thought she did, and I don’t care now, but I will post her legs because I know at least one of you cares because you have a hard time moving on….

Posted in:Legs|Winonna Ryder

2008

02

Sep

Shannen Doherty’s Got Herself Some Shorts of the Day

I did something stupid and almost got in trouble, but luckily I didn’t. I was walking down the street and saw an old lady in her support knee high pantyhose and a can trying to walk into the bank all hunched over and no one helped her in. I ran as fast as I could to beat her to the door, I was about 5 feet away, but still took some effort, I opened the door for her and as she walked in a instinctively slapped her ass like I was a little league coach and we just got a home run or some shit. She reacted all right and looked back smiled and gave me a wink, like I had made her fucking day, while I blushed in embarrassment for doing what I did, and some cunt coming out of the bank freaked out on me calling me a pervert and a sick fuck and went on about how offensive and inappropriate I was. I told her that I was just a good samairitan doing good or the people and that I hope someone gives her a little more than a little ass grabbing because she sure as fuck needs it and I wasn’t volunteering my services because I’ve done my charity for the day and because she’s not seducing me in her support knee high pantyhose. It was an unnecessary mess that I should of avoided, kinda like Shannen Doherty walking out of her house with this Halloween mask that is her face on. At least she’s got good legs in shorts and at least I got to grab some ass. I guess with all bad there is good.

Posted in:Legs|Shannen Doherty|Shorts

2008

29

Aug

Sophie Monk Shows Off Her Legs in Shorts of the Day

Sophie Monk’s wearing shorts, I guess she’s slowly trying to get sluttier and sluttier because we all know that girls who wear anything above the knees are just asking to get fucked, it’s been a key defense in rape cases for decades, and the reason she is doing it is because her self esteem was raped when her boyfriend left her for Paris Hilton, that’s kinda like when your favorite stripper gets mad at you for getting a lap dance with the old fat chick no one in their right mind wants because she leaves shit stains on your freshly pressed khakis or some shit. It’s going from good to bad, leaving the good thinking they are worse than the bad and when the bad is Paris Hilton shit’s detrimental to your mental health, at least that’s what I am thinking. It’s kind of the way every guy feels when they find out that I banged their girlfriend at some point in their life, they feel like something is wrong with them for dating something that got with me and it always gives me a laugh because I know it true and when you get over the truth hurting bullshit, you realize that in the end you still got laid, and that’s a whole lot more rewarding than people thinking you’re disgusting.

Posted in:Legs|Shorts|Sophie Monk

2008

26

Aug

Stacy Keibler’s Got Some Legs of the Day

I like to reference things I think suck by calling them “gayer than bicycle shorts” because bicycle shorts are pretty fucking gay. Unfortunately, Stacy Keibler is putting my theory to the test by wearing a pair, because when they are on some useless ex-wrestling, Dancing with the Stars slut and are short, tight, and hugging her pussy, all while showing off her long legs, there’s little gay about this shit. Even if she wore this outfit while suckin’ off a dude getting fucked up the ass by another dude in some kind of bi-sexual porn, I’d still have trouble calling it gay and I may be forced to start calling thing I think suck “gayer than two dudes riding a motorcycle” because that is always fuckin’ gay.

Speakin of Gay, I went to grab a coffee earlier and there was some dude who reminded me of you in front of me. He was an awkward lookin’ guy you’d expect collects action figures and plays a lot of videogames and has very few friends. I looked over at him and noticed a gob of fuckin’ cum hanging from the side of his head like he just finished jerking off to anime and the orgasm was built up for so long because he’s mom never gives him fuckin’ privacy and dude didn’t realize it like he was in that Something About Mary scene but less Jewish. I found the whole thing disgusting and tried not to make it obvious, but my gagging sounds were kinda hard to pass off as gas. It was fuckin’ vile but I get free coffee at that place so I’m not about to let some virgin’s cummy hair ruin that for me like they’ve ruined posting celebrity nipple pictures by giving me a bad name and confusing people into thinking I am one of them.

Either way, here’s Stacy Keibler.

Posted in:Legs|Shorts|Stacy Keibler

2008

13

Aug

Fergie’s Ass in Some Military Romper of the Day

I was looking at these Fergie Military uniform pictures and was thinking going to war and fighting for your country wouldn’t be so bad, you get to kill a race of people you were raised to hate because they flew planes into your buildings, you get to be in the hot weather all the fuckin’ time, you don’t have to worry about making yourself dinner and life would pretty much be like a college spring break party with booze, opiates and a bunch of buddies and then you get to come back to base to deal with your female colleagues dressed like this, the kind of outfit you’d expect on a creative stripper who is tired of the whole school girl thing and onto more socially relevant themes like War, but then I remembered what bitches in the Army look like and the only thing I’d want for them is to put on some more clothes to cover those lesbian bodies, and to be put on the front line like they were Black in WWII and Vietnam, because let’s face it, the world needs less penis hating, masculine, empowered dykes who know hand to hand combat.

Either way, I don’t mind when Fergie and her masculine features do it, because she’s still got a body and ex-meth addict face that brings back great memories of cheap back alley blowjobs…

Either way, she’s dressed like a two year old and doesn’t look like one because she’s had too much cock, but I’d still watch her crawl around like one. There’s nothing like an outfit that touches pussy, ass and tits at the same time. It’s some kind of magical even when Fergie’s penis gets in the way.

Posted in:Ass|Fergie|Legs

2008

14

Jul

Brooke Hogan Performs at Mansion in Miami of the Day

I guess Brooke Hogan’s pop career didn’t really take off the way she wanted it to, because this past weekend she was booked to perform Mansion, a nightclub in Miami that is probably not too far from her house. It’s kinda like the time your friend who wanted to start a band got his big break playing the local highschool’s dance. I guess the only positive thing about all this is that she’s wearing lingerie to distract us from her shitty singing, like she was a Pussycat Doll and I am all for girls embracing their innerslut and turning it on as a desperate attempt to get ahead.

Here are some pics of her in Miami before her big show…

Here are some pics of her muscular legs from last week….

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Legs|Lingerie|Performs

2008

09

Jul

Selma Blair and Her Legs Do TRL of the Day

Selma Blair was on TRL yesterday and she has pretty hot skinny legs, and that’s really the only reason I am posting these pictures, because I just found out that she is 36 years old. I thought she was in her 20s and I was wrong, it happens. Like the time I was drunk and watching fetish porn really loud and the police came to investigate because they got complaints that a girl was being violated or hurt in my apartment. They asked to look around and I let them in because I hadn’t been raping any girls and was just wathing girls getting raped and I told them that the only illegal activity I was doing that day was a lot of cocaine and pointed to my 8 ball. It lead to me getting arrested for cocaine possession, but I got off because they didn’t have a warrant. Those were pretty much my glory days.

Posted in:Legs|Selma Blair