I can’t believe Jay Leno is allowed on TV….but the other thing I can’t believe is that the tank that is Jessica Simpson pretends that she works out….I mean based on everything I see from her fat chick tits, to her fat chick arms, to her fat chick legs, to her fat chick shoulders, to everything fat about her….So Leno makes tit jokes, back alley blowjob hooker jokes and she jiggles when she talks about her Nicorette gum addiction despite having never smoked in her life, when she probably should because if she did actually smoke she’d probably have a better body, since any model and cokewhore party slut will tell you cigarettes help make them skinny….
Archive for the Leno Category
I am working on getting some posts up, I just got distracted with laziness, but I know you are here and need to be fed useless commentary on useless people who aren’t quite as useless as me. While I upload pictures, I figured I’d post this Alba on Leno video I came across that is creepy as hell. Her fans are relentless and went to the trouble of not only capturing the footage from their TV, but also sat there editing it into some slow motion weirdness that needs a soundtrack, you know some Lionel Richie shit, or any love song to really secure how creepy this motherfucker is.
Knowing that you are a creep, I figured I’d post it for you. I am nice like that.
Lady Gaga performed her Let’s Dance song on Leno, and being the modern artist she pretends to be, something a local stripper used to tell me she was every time I grabbed her tits for 10 dollars a song, she decided to wear a pair of pantyhose over a black/dark colored lacy thong. Well besides it reminding me of my mom getting ready to go to to a big meeting back in the 80s, I thought it was a pretty bold move. Not because it was daring and the censor’s probably should have cut it, but because she showed her world her big ol’ ass, something most girls try to hide.
Maybe she’s pulling the whole giving the audience everything angle, like that she’s opened her soul to us and invited us into her bedroom looking like my grandmother getting ready for church on a Sunday Morning in her skin toned pantyhose, maybe she’s trying to appeal to pantyhose fetishist, maybe she spilled something her her skirt that she was supposed to wear over her hose and got inspired thinking it was a sign from god, maybe it doesn’t matter why or how this happened and what matters is that she doesn’t take her own advice and just Dance, because if she danced a little more she’d probably be a whole lot better to jerk off to and whole lot less black guys would be swooning over her, because in case you didn’t know girls, black dudes swooning over you is a sure sign you gotta go on a diet because Black dudes love meaty bitches and by meaty I mean fat.
Either way, watch the video, take it in and count the days before Aguilera incorporates this into her act. Only to switch it up, she plans on showing off her pregnancy bulge from her loose cunt. True story.
I have been confused as to who likes Katy Perry, because I know that I don’t but there’s got to be people who do, otherwise she wouldn’t be around all the fucking time, leading to me hating her in the first place. I thought maybe it was teenage girls, who liked the bubble gum factor and could relate since they are going through that whole kissing each other phase you masturbate to, then I thought maybe it was office types, who never got wild and kissed a girl, and live vicariously through Katy Perry’s experience while bored at the office, then I was thinking it was mainstream people, who just like what they are told to like, the same people who watch American Idol and buy the Clay Aiken CDs, thinking that there’s something wrong with them if they don’t like the song, and I always forgot that there’s probably a lot of creepy motherfuckers listening to this song, while watching teenage girls on YouTube dancing around in their underwear, you know, the same kind of dude who finds out that Katy Perry is on Leno and sets up his camera to document the performance to archive for later use on YouTube and really enjoying the whole snuff film feel of the whole thing, because it is similar to what he would shoot to document their wedding video, if he ever had the chance to kidnap the bitch and bring her to his cabin in the woods and marry her against her will in hopes of spending the rest of their lives together, before realizing he’s going to go to jail, and if he can’t have her, no one will, so he kills her off to get rid of the evidence, making him a hero in my books, just a really creepy, psycho hero who deserves life in prison for liking her enough to do all this to her in the first place. If you know what I mean.
Looks like Miley Cyrus got to stay up past her bedtime to make an appearance on Leno, but she was accompanied by her dad, because she’s a minor. I wonder if she’s accompanied by her dad in your sick sexual fantasies that you have of her. I wouldn’t be surprised, but that’s just because you were at his concert in ’93 front row doin’ the achy breaky dance…..wishing you could have the allure and charisma and tallent of Billy Ray….
Either way, I watched the interview and I think she treats her dad like shit. Maybe she knows that he was a big joke in the 90s but for some reason all the factory workin’ women in our nation wanted his dick, or maybe she’s just a product of the generation of self serving, materialistic, obnoxious, wise beyond their teenage years because of shows like the OC and Degrassi, suckin’ dick at 12, doin’ anal at 14, makin’ sex tapes at 14 and a Half like they were paris hilton. Or maybe she’s just a spoiled cunt who needs daddy to lay down the achy breaky law, because you know a molested or abused chick would never act up like this…..
But I guess none of that matters, this Hannah Montanna shit is so bringing in the money hard, let the meal ticket make fun of him all she wants, because he’s got power of attorney over that shit….and the Nazi secret society at Disney don’t like bruises on the girls they exploit……
Bonus: The Interview – If you can really consider that a bonus:
Another Bonus – Miley Cyrus Eats Ketchup Like She’s Poor
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