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Archive for the Lingerie Category

2008

18

Aug

Kim Kardashian is a Plus-Sized Pussycat Doll of the Day

I wish the Pussycat Dolls were more honest in their name than they are, when I think of Pussy, I think of hot wet vagina, but for some reason these bitches just do tame, mainstream burlesque, and never actually show their pussies. So shit is a fucking lie. When I think of dolls, I think of the girl you will end up with, who isn’t actually a girl, but a 5000 dollar Real Girl who looks a bit like a girl and who never says no to sex, not because she’s a minx with a high sex drive, but because you are a rapist and its just your jerk your hand the next generation or some shit. The Pussycat Dolls should be called the Half Naked Cockteases, and when they have guest appearances from people like Kardashian, who are starving for press they change the Marquee to the “Ditchpig Immigrants”.

Kardashian is fat because she eats too much, she has no business dressing in lingerie, except when alone at home trying to feel sexy for a candle lit masturbation sessions, or when she gets down with black dudes, like she was a middle aged divorcee on Vacation in Jamaica lookin’ for a good time to help her get on with her life, but definitely never in public or on stage for people who paid tickets to see the shit like it was some kind of modern sexy freakshow at the fuckin’ carnival. It’s offensive to me and you encouraging her doesn’t help her or the obesity crisis, it just makes things worse.

Speaking of obesity, I went out drinking on Saturday, because I couldn’t kill my hangover and figured that drinking it was I do and when I drink consistently I don’t get hungover and as I was walking out of the bar drunk and tame, I walked into a group of Napolean small man syndrome jacked dudes punching each other in the face. I tried capturing the ridiculousness on video for stepTV but when one of the 5 foot 3, cocained-up, martial artist lame thugs saw me he got up in my face and threatened to take me down. As he was getting in my face, 5 of his mini men with biceps and tight shirts surrounded me like I was their next target and despite finding the whole thing to be a scene from a cartoon, I backed down because I am too old to fight 24 year olds for no reason. As they surrounded me, they were spitting out shit like “fatso” and he even went so far to call me “tits McGee” like some kind of trash redneck Canadian dis that was hysterically bad, I ended up getting out of the situation without getting hit, but about 4 minutes later I was innocently standing next to a hot girl and a dude walked by and said “your girlfriend is hot, but you’re fat”, the worse thing about that was that she wasn’t even my girlfriend, because if she was I wouldn’t have cared so much about being called names for no reason, because hot girls have that effect on me.

Either way, I went home with my tail between my legs, feeling like shit about myself, not because I didn’t already know I was fat, but because the world has little creativity when it comes to dissing someone, it’s like they go straight to the obvious. So instead of getting beat up about it and hitting the gym, I am going to make an effort in creatively cutting people down from this day forward, because there are a lot of assholes out there, I might as well be the best one.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Lingerie|Pussycat Doll

2008

14

Jul

Brooke Hogan Performs at Mansion in Miami of the Day

I guess Brooke Hogan’s pop career didn’t really take off the way she wanted it to, because this past weekend she was booked to perform Mansion, a nightclub in Miami that is probably not too far from her house. It’s kinda like the time your friend who wanted to start a band got his big break playing the local highschool’s dance. I guess the only positive thing about all this is that she’s wearing lingerie to distract us from her shitty singing, like she was a Pussycat Doll and I am all for girls embracing their innerslut and turning it on as a desperate attempt to get ahead.

Here are some pics of her in Miami before her big show…

Here are some pics of her muscular legs from last week….

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Legs|Lingerie|Performs

2008

06

Jun

Atomic Kitten Lingerie Pictures of the Day

You probably don’t know who Atomic Kitten are and that’s ok, because they are a useless UK pop band from a few years ago trying to make a comeback and looking at their lingerie shoot, all I can think about is how much better they would look with masks on. Sure they have fit bodies but their faces take anything good about having a girl half naked and throw it out the window onto a homeless man who ends up burning it in his oil drum to keep warm and cook some expired hot dogs or some shit. I know that didn’t make sense, but it did to me and that’s all that matters.

Posted in:Atomic Kitten|Lingerie

2008

21

May

Lydia Hearst in Lingerie at Some Event of the Day

Lydia Hearst was at some event and she was paid to wear this outfit like some kind of fetish model only a lot more classy because she’s a billionaire and not just some overweight girl from high school looking for male attention and the only way she can get it is by squeezing her fat ass into PVC while pretending she’s Betty Page or some shit.

I am more into naked than underwear because I am not one of those fags who likes leaving things to the imagination, I like it served on a plate and looking at her in underwear and trying to visualize what her pussy looks like is a pain in the ass because I know I’ll never actually see what her pussy looks like, so why fuckin’ bother. Lingerie is boring.

The only time I get excited now is when I see my wife in her everyday clothes, because it is a lot better than seeing her naked, something she’s become fond of because clothes are too constricting on her fat ass, but not as excited as seeing the trashy pregnant chick in a belly shirt and short shorts smoking a cigarette I saw turning tricks yesterday, she may not be a heiress but at least she gives me the time of day when I talk to her and by talk to her I mean when I let her suck my dick.

Posted in:Lingerie|Lydia Hearst

2008

22

Apr

Chanelle Hayes Is a Slut of the Day

You really have to respect a girl like Chanelle Hayes. No one knows who the fuck she is, but I’m still posting her because she somehow managed to slut herself onto the internet by dressing like a slut. I have nothing but respect for a girl who knows her worth and who also knows just how easy it is to get semi-famous and make more money than being a receptionist just by wearing little clothes and looking like she sucks dick all the time. Guys are easy to win over and that is why these feminists in turtlenecks and combat boots need to back the fuck off because they are selling themselves short and in doing that they are also manipulating other girls to sell themselves short by making them feel guilty for playing the system. Sure they can take the traditional route of climbing up the corporate ladder the traditional way, but life would be a hell of a lot easier if they just got naked and they’d make a hell of a lot more money doing it. Any girl who makes less than 100,000 dollars a year and who is semi-attractive is a fuckin’ idiot because if life is really about the hustle of earning money to live a better life there are ways to make that happen and all your dreams can come true, you just need to rework your idea of integrity.

Watch Some Comedy Sex Tape Video with Her and a Puppet for MTV that Is Kinda Funny….
GO

Posted in:Chanelle Hayes|Lingerie

2008

17

Apr

Miranda Kerr Posing With Underwear of the Day

Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr posing with underwear and not without underwear and some Victoria’s Secret launch. It seems like once the people at Victoria’s Secret comb the world over to find hot young pussy, they put these girls to work, making them do catalog shoots, store appearances, fashion shows all in exchange for a lot of money to not get fat and lazy. Sure they milk these poor girls like crazy and only compensate them with a ton of money and a life of international fame and fortune instead of their miserable lives as a married housewife to the highschool quarterback who’s now a drunk trucker had they not signed with Victoria’s Secret, but you’d milk them too for a lot less money had you accidentally crossed paths with them in a back alley before they were using their looks to get famous, and back when they were using their looks to get a pack of smokes.

I guess what it comes down to is that I hate underwear and everything it represents, I feel like my wife’s extra large, old, stained and permanent stinking underwear has turned me off that shit forever. If only my wife could have the same affect on my drinking, that’s way I wouldn’t die prematurely, but instead her disgustingness turned me back to the bottle when I realized I had to pretend I was in love with her….enough about me…look at this Miranda Kerr prostitute…

Posted in:Lingerie|Miranda Kerr

2008

11

Apr

Tera Patrick and Some Lingerie Trashy Fashion Show of the Day

Tera Patrick and her wallet fucking ugly Jewish husband have a lingerie line and this is her classy fashion show starring pornstars in Vegas. It’s not all that hot but I figure you like porn stars and the lingerie they sell because they are pretty much the only girls willing to get naked for you and by you I mean anyone willing to buy their DVDs or download their pictures on the computer because I can’t imagine anyone paying for porn this generation. Trashy, tacky and very little clothes comes with the territory of being a slut but despite being cheesy people they look like they have more fun than me. The highlight of the video is when her pervert husband tries to lift up the host’s skirt and that’s when I realized that being a cheesy pervert, marrying a pornstar and fully absorbing yourself in this smutty lifestyle seems like a pretty good life, once you get past the fact that you’re lame, dress like a clown and have cheesy tattoos on your head to justify your balding Jewish accountant roots.

Posted in:Lingerie|Tera Patrick

2008

05

Mar

Jordan’s Plus Sized Tits Make Plus Sized Lingerie of the Day

Jordan has a line of Lingerie called Katie Price and it seems fitting considering she made a career of posing in lingerie for freaks like you who like retarded sized tits, unfortunately, what is also fitting is the plus sized set bitch had made and it’s fitting a fat chick. At first I just thought it was the matching bra and panty set Jordan had lying around from before the downsize, because her tits were bigger than an obese chick’s tit and the only way she could get bras to fit was to buy the matching panties, but then I realized she’s trying to be politically correct and offer something for everyone…

I am not about to say that fat chicks shouldn’t wear lingerie because I know that some of you sick fucks like a woman with an appetite and the ability to suffocate you when you sleep, but as a man with a fat wife, I am saying that it would make life easier on me if that shit didn’t exist.

Not only does my wife love dressing sexy but she also loves me watching her while she’s dressed sexy and I don’t find it sexy, I find it disgusting. She believes that’s it’s ok for her to wear this kind of shit because companies make it in her size. So as long as Jordan is selling this shit, fat chicks who want to look sexy will just buy some lace instead of the traditional way of stopping eating and going to the fuckin’ gym. Maybe it’s her way of always lookin’ skinny, because as long as there are girls this huge, her body will always look tight by comparison.

Either way, here’s Jordan and her smaller tits posing her product line with a fat chick who makes her look better than she normally does.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Lingerie|Tits

2008

18

Feb

Paris Hilton Does the Pussycat Dolls for Her Birthday of the Day

I have always found Paris Hilton offensive, I think it started when I saw how bad of a fuck she was in her shitty video and continued in pretty much everything she did, including this stunt at her birthday party this past weekend where she performed with the Pussycat Doll like she’s someone we want to see in lingerie, without realizing that she is someone we want to see disappear.

I figure that at 27, bitch should lay off the club slutting and settle down with some unwanted pregnancy and deadbeat boyfriend, at least that would get her out of her lingerie and into a housecoat which in Paris’ case, fully clothed is a lot hotter than half naked, but instead she insists on hitting the clubs everynight like some kind of 19 year college girl looking for a rich guy to give her free drinks off his bottle to get her drunk enough to take her back to his luxury condo to teach her ass a life lesson about taking free drinks from a dude.

In these pictures Paris looks like a tranny rockin’ out at a drag show which makes sense since she’s at LAX in Vegas and that’s DJ AM’s on the “down low” gay club that he pretends isn’t a gay club because of he throws bikini contests to distract us from the fact that it’s a gay club, like that time I walked into the bus station at 2 am to take a shit after drinking too much on a bench outside and every bathroom stall was being used by married dudes who would meet there to get busy with other men they didn’t know while their wives were at home. It made for a pretty awkward shit.

Either way, we know the truth about DJ AM and that he is responsible for turning Nicole Richie into a little 90 pound 14 year old boy a few years back because it was the only way he could get it up for her. From what I’ve been told his erectile dysfunction had nothing to do with all the drugs he did in the past, but had to do with wanting dick and even going so far to get gastric bypass to be more desirable in the gay club circuit and I can only assume he’s involved in the hardening of Paris’ face that’s making her look like this skinny dude I know who has a little addiction to size 10 high heels and cheap lingerie, he’s not gay just a little confused from all the drugs he’s on to forget the time his childhood piano teacher taught him what jerking off is with his mouth.

Posted in:Birthday|Burlesque|Lingerie|Paris Hilton|Pussycat Dolls|Slut

2008

14

Feb

Pam Anderson Leaving a Lingerie Shop in Paris of the Day

So today is Pamela Anderson’s big Valentine’s Day striptease performance at some legendary Parisian club and she is rumored to be going fully nude. Now one would think that this bitch is too old and washed up to be getting naked for anyone other than her Gyno and the random wanderers who have no where better to go, but it turns out that her tits are only about 15 years old and that’s not really counting the upgrades she’s had done to them. So in reality, watching her tits is on some next level pedophilia and that makes me uncomfortable. The good news is that the rest of her is falling apart and I wouldn’t be surprised if her Uterus flew out of her and landed in some french man’s soup. The good news is that french people love soup so that won’t ruin it for him. Like the time I dropped a slice of pizza I bought with my last dollar a few years ago that some asshole spat on because I slapped his girls ass in line waiting…no wait I used that dollar to try to trick a wasted hooker into giving me a blowjob by telling her it was a 100 and I found the pizza on the ground after the asshole beat up the guy in front of me thinking he grabbed his girlfriend’s ass…when it was really me. I guess I have no problem with people I don’t know taking the heat for me…but I do know that hooker I confused tasted a hell of a lot worse than my dirty pizza and I assume Pam Anderson is just somewhere in between.

Either way, good luck with your dance Pam, it may be your last chance to shine and when you’re done will your old lady hepatitis vagina and big ol’ trashy tits be my Valentine?

Posted in:Lingerie|Pam Anderson|Paris