Lingerie Archives - Page 4 of 9 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Lingerie Category

2009

Feb

Marisa Miller and Some Old Fitting Room Pictures of the Day

So it turns out that Marisa Miller was also over-rated in 2003, when she was just some freckled faced, fake titted, fit chick, who probably never deserved to get to the level of success she has reached, but who has managed to reach that level of success she has, so I assume some of you like her and that’s not the reason I am posting these pictures, because I know you like anything with a pussy, fit or fat, hot or not, born man or woman, shit just doesn’t matter to you. I am posting it because I want to. So fuck you.

2009

Feb

Adriana Lima and Doutzen Kroes Promoting Some Valentines Day Shit for Their Owners of the Day

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When your job involves you wearing lingerie, seeing you in lingerie gets played out pretty fast, so the masterminds at Victoria Secret were not only smart enough to kidnap these girls off the global human sex trade, but knew to limit their half naked time, and make them spend some time out of the lingerie, unfortunately holding lingerie it while fully clothed and not on the floor of some dingy basement after paying some Russian dude 100 dollars to have your way with the twos of them like we’re supposed to be doing….

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Doutzen Kroes|Lingerie

2009

Jan

Posh Spice Does Lingerie Ads for Armani of the Day

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Posh Spice signed a 3 year, 15 million dollar spokesperson deal to take a few pictures in Armani lingerie that will be in magazines, on billboards and wherever else they run lingerie shoots. The reason the price tag was so high was because she pretended she didn’t have the body or interest in doing it because she’s a mom of 3. Even though she knew that her eating disorder, plastic surgery and pressure to stay fit for her athlete husband did a good enough job fighting off the evidence the little fuckers left, I mean it’s not like these ads are going to show gaping mom pussy, and Armani bit. The whole thing makes no sense to me. I can’t imagine anyone buying underwear because Posh is in the ads, I can’t understand how this is going to pay for itself, I mean couldn’t they just hire a 4 or 5 girls off the street for a couple hundred dollars, and give the other 14,999,000 dollars to charity, I am sure there are hot enough attention whores who would do this shit for free. It is supposed to be the economic crisis and paying this kind of money for something so fucking useless disgusts me. It’s irresponsible excess and if anything should make you and anyone you know stay the fuck away from Armani Lingerie, provided you’re into paying outrageous designer prices for this kind of shit.

Posted in:Ads|Lingerie|Posh Spice|Victoria Beckham

2008

Dec

Nicola Mclean’s Big Fake Titties Are Doing The Rounds of the Day

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This Nicola Mclean slut is from the UK, and unlike most girls from the UK, she’s almost worth fucking. I don’t know where she came from, but she’s been poppin up a lot lately and it’s strictly because she’s got retarded fake tits. I am surprised girls still have that whole need to get the biggest, dumbest tits around, like we were still in the 90s, but that’s just because I figured all the closet-cases who were over compensating for their discomfort in their own sexuality by fixating their lives on tits, you know talking about tits all the time, freaking out about every tit they saw, always seeking bigger and stupider lookin’ tits to really show us how much of a man they are, dating girls that looked like low class Barbie Dolls they met at the strip club they spent their free time in, because that’s what guys who like pussy do and bringing them home to meet the family in their lacy cleavage tops and booty shorts to make dad proud, had come out of the closet by now. I mean that was really my only explanation for the serious increase in fags everywhere I go. There was a time these people hid their true desires, and that was the time stupid implant sales were at their highest, according to me, but maybe I am wrong, maybe liking normal sized natural tits is weird, maybe these fake disgusting things stapled to trashy stinky fake lookin’ pussy is what real men want, maybe I am the gay one….

Gay or not, I don’t get how someone can make a minor 5,000 dollar investment in their rack and turn it into a 6 figure or more per year salary promoting lingerie, attending events, and slowly climbing up the trashy reality star later into the D-List, and if it is that easy, why the fuck isn’t every girl doing it, are they fucking idiots? Do they like working as nurses and teachers and secretaries for modest salaries?! It’s just too much for me to process right now….so here are some pictures of Nicola Mclean doin’ the rounds….

Here she is with Santa for the kids….

Here’s she is at the Ultimo Lingerie Store Opening…..

Posted in:Lingerie|Nicola Mclean|Retarded Fake Tits

2008

Nov

Jordan Katie Price In Her Lingerie of the Day

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Jordan or Katie Price was out promoting her lingerie with her 3 year old son in tow, which is a bit of a relief for that little fucker, despite what everyone’s saying about shit being inappropriate for him, because the majority of the time he has spent with her, she’s either spread the fuck eagled and shoving random things in her cunt, or playing with her retardedly big reduced tits so the implant doesn’t harden, so if anything, she’s bought him a little more time before coming out of the closet in 13 years….despite prancing around for him in a thong….

I used to hang with this really poor dirty kid, like even poorer and dirtier than me because I was living with white perverted religious people, and I went over to play video games when I was 15 years old. He lived in a shitty one bedroom apartment, and he slept on the floor in the living room, and I walked into this garbage bag taped on the windows, shit pretty much everywhere, hell they called home, that in hindsight looks a lot like where I live now, but was something even shittier than I had experienced back in Mexico.

Anyway, it was around 4 in the afternoon, and this tight bodied, haggard slut walks out with a cigarette hanging from her mouth, a drink in one hand, in nothing but a pair of fucking panties, and no shirt and about a minute later, some trucker lookin motherfucker walks out, slaps her on the ass, thanks her, says what’s up to us and schedules a meeting for the same time a couple of days later, so here I am in a ghetto fucking brothel, with some haggard lookin’ whore and her son, staring at some tits, knowing she just got fucked for money and it was fucking hot and probably one of the biggest influences in my life…..

Either way, I guess it didn’t have the same affect on him, because a couple years ago, this is over 20 years after it happened, I ran into the guy, he remembered me, I asked him what was up and he told me he had AIDS and spent the last 20 years as a male stripper, male pornstar and a street hustler, I said something like “following in mommy’s footsteps aren’t ya” and he didn’t laugh and I didn’t shake his AIDS hand…..but yeah…slutty mom’s breed gays and that was the point of my story….

Here are the pics of her and not of her kid, because who really needs to see a 3 year old with highlights in his hair….

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Lingerie

2008

Nov

Ed Hardy Underwear Fashion Show of the Day

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Ed Hardy is the cheesiest fucking thing around. It attracts the cheesiest fucking people and the only good thing about cheesy fucking people is that they dance on bar tables in little Ed Hardy skirts, showing the world their big fake tits in their Ed Hardy low cut shirts and assholes winkin’ at me out of their Ed Hardy thongs, while drinking bottles of Grey Goose with Jimbo’s and chachi motherfuckers, who are also in Ed Hardy everything from head to fucking toe and who think they are fucking rockstars, but don’t realize that they look like total twats, because all their fellow Ed Hardy cult members keep giving them positive attention and props because of their 300 dollar t-shirts that looks like some kind of crazed silk screener threw up rhinestones, sequins, paint, gels and gold foil all over the shit….but I guess the brand’s done something genius, because it’s tricked the lame masses into thinking they need the shit to fit in and it’s become this massively embarrassing movement, that I am sure has made a bunch of people rich as these strippers, 9 to 5 millionaires and Italians have spend their paychecks on the shit, because they think they need it…..

Ed Hardy had a fashion show and it wasn’t as slutty as 99% of the tacky bitches who rock this shit around here, but it’s still worth posting because Ed Hardy offends me even when they get girls in underwear struttin’ their shit….it’s a fucking joke and you’ve all fallen for it…

Posted in:Ed Hardy|Fashion Show|Lingerie|Underwear

2008

Nov

Marisa Miller and Miranda Kerr in Lingerie For America of the Day

2 Comments »

So I got a little carried away with this Obama shit while drunk last night, I’d be embarrassed but really never go back on the stupid shit I say or do when drunk, I just kinda move on and pretend it never happened. Obama is just a motivational speaker, the black Tony Robins, with a less offensively massive head, trying to pass off responsibility to the people, motivate the people, and instead of carrying the weight of the problems on his shoulders or making the right decisions, he just acts as a figurehead for hope and unity, something America didn’t really have.

I don’t think people know entirely what they are in for, or know the impact of what is going to happen based on his term in office, and like a deadbeat dad, I am convinced nothing is going to change, people will still be poor, people will still be dying in hospitals, but it was a pretty powerful speech.

George Bush was from day one a total fuck up, Palin was a total idiot, McCain didn’t deal with the economy properly, Obama played the race card, America has a lot of ethnic people who hate white people, he sold a dream, and he won….

So he has a great smile, was a novelty, campaigned hard and strong and was a hero in the media, coming in with unrealistic goals and visions that make sense to desperate people, or people who want more out of life, and he did it with style and power but dudes pretty much over-promised and I highly doubt you’ll get what you want and the next 4 months will be about him trying to manage expectations and diffuse the flames her lit to get in office.

I am having Obama supporter remorse, he was a little bit of a novelty with really big goals and expectations, kinda telling the people what they want to hear, you know telling girls in the bar how big your dick is or how fat your wallet is to get them so wet you can hear the jelly donut in her pants squishing between her thighs.

So good luck with all this shit, and that concludes my political talks for the next little while, but no one cares about what I think,

Here are some pictures of to start the day of Marissa Miller and Miranda Kerr since they are the American Dream, well at least one of them is, and the other one just makes more money than you do in your own country, fuckin’ immigrants takin’ all the fuckin’ jobs…..and choosin’ the fuckin’ president….

Posted in:Lingerie|Marisa Miller|Miranda Kerr

2008

Nov

Heidi Klum is Insane for Guitar Hero of the Day

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Heidi Klum is a bit of a nutcase and i am not making reference to who she decides to make babies with, but more to how she acts every time she’s on camera.

I assume it’s a cultural thing and maybe has to do with some kind of identity crisis from not working in a german brothel licking asshole like everyone else she knows and instead breakin’ all of Hitler’s plans for his people by marrying a black man, but she’s got good tits and is entertaining to watch when you can turn her the fuck off.

It seems like Victoria’s Secret let her off their leash and allowed her to do some Guitar Hero, Risky business shit, as long as she was wearing their product, and it is more interesting than the Tom Cruise scene from a time when he was a closet fag taking trips to Montreal to fuck dudes, and Scientology hadn’t taken over his life, but not as interesting as seeing Michael J. Fox doing it today, but that’s just because he’d really put the shake into his dance, because he has Parkinson’s.

Here’s another, more boring one….

Posted in:Guitar Hero|Heidi Klum|Lingerie

2008

Oct

Brittny Gastineau and Her Slutty Shirt of the Day

3 Comments »

Here’s real life Gossip Girl Brittny Gastineau, some rich slut who has a football playing father, who spent her youth as a socialite, rich slut and is spending her time now trying to get a legitimate career in entertainment and she is doing that by showing up to an event wearing her lingerie for a shirt, when lingerie is supposed to be meant for strippers, Valentine’s Day and 25th anniversary bedroom celebrations, and the whole thing is just crazy.

I mean Halloween is next week, and girls go out in lingerie all the time, so maybe she’s getting a head start, but an insider told me that she’s dressing up like Paris Hilton in her sex tape, because when you’re a slut in everyday life, Halloween can only take 2 routes and they are dressing wholesome for the irony of it, or going balls out and getting naked.

So she may be a week early in this get-up, but I’m not complaining, I think lingerie should be mandatory business atire, despite how wild the concept is, and if I owned a company, that would be the law, but since I don’t own a company, because it would go bankrupt before it started, and because I’d be arrested in the first week for exposing myself to my staff because I’d make it clear that was part of their job description, despite it being against the law, I’ll just settle with these pictures of some rich socialite wearing her underwear as outerwear, because that concept is just wild.

What’s next? Usingsex toys in public, or bikinis in the winter, or socks for condoms, or plastic bags for shoes like the homeless dude down the street….I guess fashion is just way to crazy for me….assuming that this Brittny Gastineau character has any idea what fashion is, because I know I don’t.

Posted in:Brittny Gastineau|Lingerie|Shirt|Slut

2008

Aug

Madonna is a 50 Year Old in Fishnets and Lingerie in Concert of the Day

8 Comments »

I am sure I am not the only person who has masturbated to Madonna in their lifetime. Whether it was the movie Truth or Dare or her Sex book, she was always a driving force in being a naughty little girl. Unfortunately, like all naught little girls, they grow up and now she’s 50, on tour and trying to hold onto the fact that we all jerked off to her at one point in our lives, without realizing that her vagina has expired. She is pretty fit for an old lady but still an old lady and I, along with the front row at her concert are happy her underwear bottoms and fishnet outfit she’s wearing are tight enough to keep her shit in place, because I’d hate to see her uterus fall on the stage, actually I’d probably love it, but it would still be disgusting to see. This is her at her concert in Nice France and shit’s definitely not as Nice as it could be. You liked that shitty play on words, admit it.

Posted in:Bikini|Concert|Lingerie|Madonna