Monster Archives - Page 3 of 3 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

03

Mar

Khloe Kardashian Fuckin’ With Jay-Z of the Day

In disgusting rumors, Jay-z is said to be having sex with Khloe Kardashian and here is a video of her denying it.

Everyone knows that when a fat monster of a girl has sex with pretty much anyone, she goes out and buys a billboard saying “Yes! I finally got laid”, I’m talking takes shit to her Facebook and email blasts everyone she knows, holding two thumbs up and some shit, because it happens so fucking rarely, and bitch likes people knowing that someone was willing to get up in her scary monster cunt, I guess that’s what happens when you’re a genetic mistake that leaves straight men confused if fucking her makes them gay, closet case men test the waters.

Then again, Jay-Z probably doesn’t have very high standards I mean, he is with Beyonce and Khloe Kardashian is just and extension of Beyonce’s thighs, you know like if you saw a picture of Beyonce’s thighs, Khloe Kardashian’s face would be what you’d expect them be attached….

I don’t know why I am feeding into this shit, but I am, so watch the video.

Posted in:Jay-Z|Khloe Kardashian|Monster

2009

11

Feb

Khloe Kardashian Hosts an Appropriate Party of the Day

3 Comments »

I got this flyer emailed to me by the promoters of the event, I am not posting this to give these assholes exposure, because I know if I ever went to Vegas, they’d never let me into their bullshit, despite giving them more exposure then their Mexican escort flyer kids lining the Vegas strip.

I am posting it because it is nice to see this bitch follow her calling. Sure, Khloe Kardashian bitch is a pig or a monster, so rocking out on Friday the 13th is appropriate, but not as appropriate as shit being called the Anti-Valentine’s day party, because I hear that’s the name of Khloe Kardashian’s memoir, a story about a ugly fucking girl with big dreams, who used to sit at home, year after year making Valentine’s Day cards and cookies and decorations, thinking about all the boys swooning her and asking her to be theirs and all that shit, only that never happened, leaving her bitter and a leader in the war against Valentines day, fueled by cynicism and rejection turned into anger.

I think you should check this party out, since you can relate to this beast.

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|Monster

2009

02

Feb

Dita Von Teese Makes Me Sick as She Performs of the Day

No Comments »

I haven’t figured out a few things in my life. One is why someone would want to look like a corpse in their everyday life because death is relatively disgusting, despite being a natural thing. The other is why people would think someone who looks like a corpse is worth fucking, or at least give them enough attention to give them a lasting career doing burlesque and whatever else she does.

Vampires will always be popular, but I thought Goth was dead. I thought it was just a fad for weird high school kids a few years ago, but I guess I am wrong, it happens daily, but what I do know is that if she really wants to make her bullshit look more believable, I suggest suicide.

2009

22

Jan

Rod Stewart’s Short Man Syndrome’s Gone Too Far of the Day

1 Comment »

Rod Stewart likes big girls, because he’s short. It’s a typical small man syndrome situation, where the small man spends his teenage years jerking off to the hot girls in his class, then decides that he’s tired of the rejection, gets successful and runs after all the tall girls he otherwise couldn’t have, usually being manly lookin’ models, because anyone who sings the shit he sings has got to be gay, but that’s not good for his career, so he goes for girls who know just how to strap on and fuck the shit out of him in his extended king sized bed he got from the same supplier as Shaq and when he’s done he climbs up and down her like a mountain climber trying to conquer a mountain.

Posted in:Monster|Penny Lancaster|Rod Stewart|Short Man Syndrom

2009

18

Jan

Shauna Sand is Still a Monster of the Day

1 Comment »

The funny thing about Shauna Sand is that she tried so hard to be the embodiment of the stereotypical perfect girl. You know the kind of girl guys would freak out over, trying to understand how god made such an ideal candidate to jerk off to, because she doesn’t realize we can identify plastic surgery, and she didn’t realize was that in her process of trying to become the perfect sex object to be lusted for and jerked off over, she’d end up looking like a fucking monster. You know like a girl who locked herself in her bathroom and gave herself botched surgery, botched tits, and the more she tries to correct it, the bigger mess she becomes. I guess it’s all pretty funny, except for the handful of guys she’s turned gay because of the nightmares they had of her crawling out of their dad’s playboy magazine and into their beds to rape them with her various stapled on body parts that end up falling off in the middle of sex. It’s all pretty disturbing.

Posted in:Monster|Shauna Sand

2008

20

Nov

Doutzen Kroes is a Monster of the Day

3 Comments »

Doutzen Kroes is one of the newer Victoria’s Secret Angels. She’s been modeling for a little while, has some decent campaigns and I’ve never heard of her. The reason I am posting these pictures is because I have an issue with models. They look good in pictures, but the second I am next to one, and not humping their leg like a dog showing it’s dominance, I feel like I am the dainty one. It’s like I go up to their tits, their shoulders are broader than my 300 pound body and they look like someone you’d want to bet on in a bar pudding wrestling match, or at least someone you’d call to help you move. They look like they are someone you’d want to get with, but the second you slide their Shaq-sized pump on, you realize that you’re dealing with a fuckin’ monster and there’s pretty much no way out….Either way, she brought her big ol’ body that looks good because it is proportionate when she’s with other big tall skinny monsters or alone, but the second you throw a normal sized person in their, you’ll realize you’re dealing with something that looks more like THIS , than something out of a porn movie….a very weird porn movie that you’re wearing women’s shoes in….

Either way, here are her pics…..

And I guess she’s engaged because it looks like she’s bragging and I hate when girls think we give a fuck that they are engaged, or that they are so happy, living the fucking life, one much better than we’re living, or even that she was living was back home in the Netherlands before Victoria’s Secret scooped her up and recruited her to wear their lingerie and show her the good life….Fuck you Doutzen and your stupid name….

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Monster

2008

03

Oct

Maggie Gyllenhaal is a Fucking Monster of the Day

12 Comments »

How the fuck did Maggie Gyllenhaal ever make it into acting. She looks more like the weird girl who doesn’t shower and who ends up becoming a lonely librarian because books don’t judge her and books are always there for her when she needs them. She does not look like someone who could be the object of anyone’s desire in a movie, or in real life. She doesn’t look like a leading lady or like someone I’d even want to see on the fuckin’ screen and I guess it takes a whole lot of movie magic to make her someone the general public can stomach, like it took a whole lot of deep throat magic to get her where she is today, not because saying ugly girls suck dick to the top is a cliche, but because all girls suck dick to get to the top, the ugly ones just suck a little fucking harder…….

Posted in:Maggie Gyllenhaal|Monster|Ugly

2008

13

Aug

Khloe Kardashian is a Monster Coming To Eat Your Babies of the Day

16 Comments »

Khloe Kardashian is a monster and she is coming to Eat Your Babies….I don’t know what went wrong in this thing’s genetic code, maybe she was born next to powerlines or someshit, but I do know that she’s not human and despite not being human, there are guys horny enough to climb u her giant thigh to get into her monster vagina and that’s something scarier than waking up to her next to you in your bed after a hard night of hard drinking….

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|Monster

2008

16

Jan

Karolina Kurkova Rides Bikes of the Day

2 Comments »

Supermodels are built like tanks – when they are standing together they look good and proportionate and make us all want to bang them, especially when they are in their lingerie, but when they stand next to normal sized things you see they are scary sized monsters who still look fucking good and make use still want to bang them only with a step ladder and some elevator shoes or some shit.

Either way, here are pics of Karolina Kurkova lookin’ like a man riding a little girls pink Barbie bike that he stole to outrun the cops for getting busted hiding in a place little girls keep their bikes because otherwise that story would have made no sense, because a grown man has no business owning or riding a little girl’s bike no matter how cute he thinks it makes him look. Weirdo.

Related Posts:

Karolina Kurkova’s Dull Photoshoot Pictures
Karolina Kurkova’s Ass in a Thong
Karolina Kurkova’s Ass in Short Shorts
Karolina Kurkova’s See-Through Ass Dress

Posted in:Giant|Monster|Unsorted

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