Runway Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Runway Category

2010

Mar

Phoebe Price Thinks She’s a Model of the Day

I still haven’t figured out what Phoebe Price does or who she is, but she’s got some serious fucking ego who thinks we actually care about what she does or who she is. The only thing I can assume about her is that she has orange pubic hair and I have a serious history with orange pubic hair that started with me gagging at the thought of orange pubic hair when I was a teenager, leading to me mocking every ginger I came across, until realizing that I was actually fascinated by the shit before giving it a chance and turning every ginger I came across against me, like my name and picture was sent out on some kind of ginger information network, so in all my years of fucking, I have never had a taste of it. I figure it’s just punishment from God for giving all those girls a complex when they were easily influenced, probably one bad enough to keep them totally shaved at all times, if they weren’t too awkward to fuck dudes until they were pushing 30 and only did it cuz the dude was also ginger, because I was an asshole who couldn’t appreciate something so unique and different and could that I’ve been banished from every stroking my fingers through….not that you care about my orange pubic hair fetish…but then again you don’t really care about Phoebe Price either….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Phoebe Price|Runway

2010

Feb

Titties on the Runway of the Day

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Fashion is perverted and there are constant nipples and constant nudity and for some reason shit is seen as an art, and respected in some billion dollar industry, when girls who let people fuck them on camera or just get naked on camera is considered porn. The whole thing is a double standard I hate, so I’d like you all to take pictures of you jerking off to these pictures for me to prove to all the fashion snobs that they are nothin’ but smut peddlers….

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Fashion|Runway|Titties

2010

Feb

Agyness Deyn Falls on the Runway of the Day

4 Comments »

There was some fashion show that went down as part of NYC Fashion week that was meant to raise money for Haiti. Some popular UK model named Agyness Deyn was there doin’ her thing and she fell, which is really not a big deal or that interesting, but I guess when someone who is a professional model falls while modeling, that’s like a truck driver running over a van full of little kids, or a pornstar who gets aids, this is pretty much worse case scenario for them, and we get to see their panties…I am sure if you google her name, you will find actual naked pics of her, making this post a waste of time…

The funny thing is that Agyness Deyn falling wasn’t the biggest trainwreck to happen at the charity event, booking Kelly Osborne and her pig face was no matter how much weight she’s lost from Dancing with the Stars bullshit, she’s still vile.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Agyness Deyn|Falls|Runway

2009

Oct

Naomi Campbell’s Nipples on the Runway of the Day

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Naomi Campbell is a model who I thought was retired, but I guess she felt the need to grace the world with her dark, luxurious, wallet fucking nipples at whatever fashion week is going on right now, since every week seems to be fucking fashion week, making me excited for the week that isn’t fashion week and that I can stop walking around in this tuxedo I made out of garbage bags to try and fit in like I was invited to these red carpet high profile, homoerotic yet luxurious fashion shows, instead of just left here to die, so that I can crawl back into the soiled sweatpants I pretty much have made a part of me by not ever taking them off….and even sometimes showering with them and by showering I mean getting caught in the rain, cuz showers are for idiots……

I have this feeling Naomi Campbell smells like shit, she just has that look that even if she showers, you know like she’s rotting on the inside from all the preservatives she’s ingested over the years to land billionaire cock. She’s trash, no matter how many billionaires she marries, or how decadent her ass thinks she is and here she is showing off her nipples like a common whore, that I haven’t decided whether wanting them makes you gay or straight….

I have a feeling that I haven’t recovered from the weekend because I reread part of this and it made no fucking sense…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Naomi Campbell|Nipples|Runway

2007

Nov

I am – Heidi Klum Reliving The Past of the Day

1 Comment »

I always like watching middle-aged women trying to relive their youth. I was walking down the street the other day and saw some annoying mother with her two tween daughters wearing the same fucking outfit. They all had tights, UGGS, cellphones with decorative bullshit on them and were all drinking an iced coffee drink from Starbucks like they were Hayden Panettiere, who by the way, I decided to mention in every post today. They were all talking like annoying fucking teenage girls and for some reason, it made me want to take the mom’s virginity, even though it was long gone.

I was at a bar the other day and saw a group of older bitches trying to rock out to Soulja Boy. They were laughing and having a good time, which was good because based on their looks they didn’t have much else going for them and it was nice to see that despite their shortcomings and bad aging, they could still have a good time. I don’t think they had any idea what the Soulja Boy song or the dance was, but they were wasted and looking for husbands. It was funny realizing that I am the same age as they are but I am way more in tune with pop culture….I got my finger on the pulse of that shit thanks to the internet being my social life and everyone knows that doing an old lady dirty get me pregnant so I can have meaning in my useless lonely one night stand filled life old lady dance to Soulja Boy just doesn’t fly, like Superman….Crank Dat.

Either way, here is Heidi Klum back on the runway for her Project Runway show, that I like to call the retirement plan, because bitch is too old to model, but still looks better than you do when you put on your mom’s heels and pose in front of the mirror, fruitcake.

Related Posts:

Heidi
Heidi Klum’s Pregnancy Weight
Heidi Klum Tight Bodied Post-Pregnant in an Expensive Bikini
Heidi Klum’s Camel Toe, From When I was on Blogger…We’ve Come So Far Together

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Model|Runway|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am – Petra Nemcova Topless Body Painted of the Day

191 Comments »

Here are some Petra Nemcova topless on the runway body painted pictures.

If I was an art student in college this would be my career goal. When all the pansy artist hippie motherfuckers with their potluck dinners, ratty thrift store clothes and bohemian trying hard to live the artist way cocksuckers would try to get all introspective and analytical on my airbrushed canvases of flames, a bikini, a t-shirt and every other thing I’ve seen airbrushed on a bitch, I’d just look at them, smile and say “art fag, i am going to be a body painter while your living in an artist loft smoking opium your rich art school friend bought with their daddy’s credit card, I’m going to be turning pussies into a pair of fucking boy shorts”….knowing that when that loser has dreams of being the next Picasso, I’ll have the best excuse to stare a hot chick’s naked without looking creepy. Fuck romantic idealistic bullshit when you’ve got smut that you can pretend isn’t smut by claiming it’s art…..

I don’t really know where I am going with this, but becoming an air brush body painter is a weird fucking life goal but I am glad someone’s doing it, because it motivates chicks to get naked and anything that motivates chicks to get naked motivates me to look at them get naked and remember – there’s nothing wrong with wearing pants that look like white trash beer drinking RV Camping beach towels.

2007

May

I am – Jenna Jameson on the Runway in a One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jenna Jameson modeling a one-piece bathing suit for some reason I don’t really understand. I know historically, the one piece bathing suit was designed for girls who had no business wearing a bathing suit to begin with, but you know, people have to have fun and just because they don’t look good in a bikini shouldn’t mean that they shouldn’t go swimming, even though I don’t go swimming in public because I think my stomach is pretty fucking offensive, but I guess I am just a girl about things.

That said, the one piece has started making it’s way back into the public because it’s one of those things where you show too much for so long that when you’re a little covered up it leaves things all mysterious and more to the imagination and shit. So I see how this works for girls at the public pool, but for someone like Jenna Jameson, who we’ve all seen in porn, it’s a little too late for the whole leaving anything to the imagination, except for maybe what she smells like, but that’s something you’ll always have to imagine while sitting at home, dick in hand.

That said, does anyone even jerk off to this chick? She doesn’t get me all hot and bothered and I am wondering why she’s such a success doing what she does, which isn’t saying much because I am convinced any girl can become as big as she did in porn, but the girls who are capable of doing it, have too many morals and values and refuse to fuck on camera….

That said, here she is in a one-piece bathing suit. How many times can I used “that said” in a post…I am aiming for a world record. Cuddles.