SFW Archives - Page 962 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

08

Feb

Salma Hayek’s T-Shirt of the Day

This is great….I wish this was my shirt..I wish this was my design…such a silly idea…but when Salma Hayek wears it to the Hospital after hitting her head…shit’s done good, and the life of the viral T-shirt, that is really an awesome t-shirt happens…

That’s not to say if I did produce this shirt, an idea I’m sure every dude has had at least once over the last 20 years, that mine would be the one wearing it…but it is to say whoever made this shirt – is going to sell 1,000,000 dollars worth of them…

This is what she had to say:

I had to be rushed from set to the ER for a minor head injury. Unfortunately my wardrobe for the scene was completely inappropriate for the hospital. Thank you to doctors Foster and Ellspermann for taking such good care of me! And don’t worry it didn’t make me any crazier than I was!

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2016

08

Feb

Chloe Grace Moretz in a Bikini of the Day

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Chloe Grace Moretz is in Monkey Stance for the Year of the Monkey…she’s relevant like that…

I went to see Hai Caesar at an actual theatre this weekend, despite fearing public places for shootings and diseases from other people, I figured it was a good place to finger a 20 year old, not to mention to reconnect with humans to see what they find funny, entertaining and laugh at…

Because as a bitter, angry, miserable hater, everything I see that is popular makes me mad, and I think “how was that written”…or “How could this joke fly”…or “how did the writers allow this to happen”….

Before remembering – that I have no audience, so clearly, I have no idea what I’m talking about..

Anyway, I saw a trailer featuring this pudgy little 18 year old, probably shot when she was 17, in a bikini…as a Sorority sister who has decided that their Sorority needs Women Pride and throw parties despite it being a Frat thing…all while living next door to the worst fucking person in the world…with his throaty nasal laugh – Seth Rogan….and the people in the audience were roaring hysterical to the bad fucking low level vine style jokes…

Point being….when I see Chloe Grace…all I see is that fucking trailer replaying in my head reminding me of the caliber of actor she is on the cash grab…while seeing how overrated her sex appeal is…making me hate her.

Posted in:Chloe Grace Moretz|SFW

2016

08

Feb

Kristen Stewart’s Hottest Picture of the Day

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Kristen Stewart is the face of Chanel, because she’s famous as fuck actress thanks to Twilight. I guess that’s an audience I guess the brand is trying to reach, why the fuck else would they book Kristen Stewart for this….there’s nothing fashionable or glamourous or even hot about her….and outside of her movies, and really inside her movies also, she’s a homely lesbian hipster who doesn’t look like she showers or wears make-up…but does look like she smells and that she’s walking around looking medicated as fuck, unexcitable maybe even dopey like some kind of inbred with ceiling eyes playing with rocks in the corner of the playground…but she’s not inbred…her parents are Hollywood producers / directors / etc…which explains her career.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that this is the best picture I’ve ever seen of her…There’s something Romantic about this picture…I call it…blocking out most of her dumb looking face…

In other famous girls because they were cast at a young age is terribly successful teen fiction – Emma Watson the Harry Potter famous 14 year old the weirdest people in the world collectively fantastized about marrying while masturbating to her…was at some event in a white dress showing cleavage, something I’d dedicate a post to because that’s what I do here, I dedicate fucking posts to these idiots, they just don’t realize it because my dedications are usually perverted and mean spirited…which they deserve for being famous in the first pace….

TO SEE PICS OF HER AT SOME EVENT IN A DRESS WITH CLEAVAGE
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kristen Stewart|SFW

2016

08

Feb

Carmen Electra is Working It of the Day

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Carmen Electra doesn’t realize that there comes in time in every farmer’s life where he has to take his old cow, or sow, or mare out back and put a bullet through her fucking head because she is no longer of use to him as she’s not producing and just wasting resources…and even if he still loves the beast so much he fucks it when no one is looking, even though it is half dead…it still needs to get done….

There are younger and hotter versions of her to pick-up her job where she left off…

She doesn’t understand, despite fucking countless athletes, that there is a time in their lives when they need to bow out of the game like he’s Peyton Manning and say – I peaked, it’s time I go enjoy my money and remember my Glory days as a star player, through the injuries I have and pain I feel while either opening up a car dealership by home, or working in the Football industry more behind the scenes….

She doesn’t understand, despite having fucked countless musicians, that even they have to stop the heroin that fuels them becausethey dont’ want to “David Bowie”….because they are old and their bodies can’t keep up…

She just keeps going and going well into her 40s…while no one still knows or understands what she ever did other than Playboy when Playboy could launch career for these glorified instagram models…

That said, she’s got a great body and who really cares what she does, I can ride this notalgia – I’d just want to wear a full body condom

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Carmen Electra|SFW

2016

08

Feb

Kendall’s Ass of the Day

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Kendall Jenner is double dipping in Love Magazine, maybe she’s like an Athlete who gets extra money from his Sponsors when he gets published in magazines or featured on TV shows, like he’s won some kind of award or some shit….because she’s giving Love Magazine, who I guess has some level of cool factor to a person like Kendall Jenner who has no concept of cool has…

These rich kids are so detached from reality…in their weird insular bullshit overrated lives filled with cheesy people who suck up to them and want to be famous like them….it’s weird..

Maybe the family is just on Love Magazine’s payroll, since they did some massively viral – possibly the “break the internet” fully nude Kim Kadashian photoshoot…that the public seems to forget they can see her at her prime naked getting fucked by a big black cock…because her getting naked – is hardly breaking anything except maybe the chair she is sitting on or anything her naked disgusting body touches…

Point being, she’s wearing her sponsor Calvin in the magazine, showing her non existent ass, because she’s uneventful, not that hot, but exists and people seem to like talking about her…despite being garbage…myself included…and I hate myself for that and more – stay tuned to find out…

Not too far behind Kendall is her friend and possible employee GIGI

TO SEE THOSE KIM K IN LOVE NAKED AS FUCK CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

08

Feb

NAACP Highlight of the Day

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Her name is Jurnee Smollett-Bell…and she’s a half black / half Jewish, full amazing 29 year old who is probably not best known from being on Full House in the early 90s as one of the Olsen Twins accessible / white enough / black friends…you know since that’s how the media is when it comes to black people..as long as they are white enough to the white people, not necessarily in color but in the way they carry themselves and speak…or if they are on the Halle Berry / Drake and now Jurnee Smollett-Bell half black is black enough to get the storyline across…

But she’s got great tits…so Oscars shouldn’t be so white…they should be more about these tits..

That said, since Full House she’s done a bunch of shows and movies, none of them that substantial because I’ve never heard of her…but now she’s in some Louisina Slave show where she plays a “shy house slave, working on a plantation in 1857″….

All this to say BlackLivesMatter, Support your local black person and the NAACP, because OscarSoWhite and not representative of the country, except for the host who is black, even though No Lives Matter, even if the black is also Russian Jew, as long as the tits are pushed out like this….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jurnee Smollett-Bell|SFW

2016

08

Feb

Bai Ling’s Year of the Monkey Campaign is Racist of the Day

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It’s the year of the Monkey…and Bottom Feeding Chinese woman named Bai Ling, who has been working the paparazzi to get published in the tabloids as her main focus while living in LA, stepped in to take advantage of a photoshoot opportunity…

It’s like these people from the late 90s moved to LA to get famous and it never happened for them…but their level of crazy and delusions allowed them to continue to go where the paparazzi were to get their pics taken…rather than doing something interesting…but they’ve figured out that if they get naked, or if they do something for an obscure day or event, they’ll get published and that’s all they really care about…

It is one of the weirdest phenomenons but not too far off from the instagram models of today….just way less stylized and cool, and striaght up fucking cheesy….

But still a Monkey stuffed animal bikini…next to the Beverly Hills sign is genius art in it’s own desperate way…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Bai Ling|SFW

2016

05

Feb

Hilary Duff in a Bikini to Celebrate her Divorce of the Day

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Hilary Duff’s divorce was finalized…which doesn’t change the fact that she’s built like a cross fit girl…and I don’t find that hot…but so many people do…I guess they are her original fans, her loyal fans, her creepy fans who are looking at geotags in pics to show up at her house or maybe they are just into a girl who has built up some bulk and muscle mass post baby-making…because they are used to obese chicks…I don’t know, I’ve seen cross fit girls naked over the year, I’ve watched them deadlift and squat hundreds of pounds before jumping into a series of Kipping pull ups and I’ve never though “look at that lady, I’d love to fuck”…however I have thought, I bet she can ride dick for hours without gassing out, and I bet she can squeeze those pussy muscles hard enough for my micr dick to feel at least one of the vagina walls…but fucking that from behind would be like fucking a dude from behind and if I wanted that…it’d be way easier than trying to K-Fed and prey on Hilary Duff, who is probably impossible to reach in a world where weird dudes are so passionate about her…

She’s in a bikini, natural way to decompress from her hard, busy life…and deal with her failures in the eyes of the catholic church…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE BULLDOG IN A BIKINI CLICK HERE

Here are some Crazy Hilary Duff Facts via EvilBeetGossip

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2016

05

Feb

Piers Morgan VS Susan Sarandon’s Tits and Feminists Tit Supports Respond of the Day

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In the name of feminism…women are pulling out their tits to support Susan Sarandon and the Patriarchal ideology….because to same a 70 year old’s tits that made her famous in the 70s…is misogyny….

So united they stand, tits out, for their freedom to not allow MEN say what age they can pull tit out or not…

Which is a reminder that if you want a mass amount of women to show you their pussy, call out one of them for showing their pussy, and the rest will follow in protest..

The fact that Susan Sarandon is pandering to Piers Morgan, mocking him with her tits that Piers used to jerk off to when watching Rocky Horror as a 20 year old asshole in college…before turning his life to writing celebrity gossip like a bitter fan boy….means he won…

Here’s a compilation of some of the women participating in what they are calling #CleavageSolidarity

Posted in:Piers Morgan|SFW

2016

05

Feb

Jennifer Lawrence is Hiding her face but I Can Still See Tit of the Day

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Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t want you to see her face, but she does want you to see her tits in a tank top or tee shirt, I didn’t look at the pics that intensely, I just know from experience that she’s into that and by experience I mean she leaked a bunch of her nude pics where she went from being boring and awkward to a great actress capable of making her nude sexts believable and a great experienced director and producer who knew just how to pose to see like an authentic sex by a girl who knows how to sext….

Boring…she bores me…but she wins a lot of awards…so someone out there cares…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS ,a href=”http://forum.drunkenstepfather.com/showthread.php?t=77616″ target=”_blank”> CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW