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Archive for the SFW Category

2016

05

Feb

Billionaire Hooker Miranda Kerr in Yoga Pants of the Day

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In Miranda Kerr’s school of landing a billionaire, like a billionaire escort, part of a billionaire escort agency, because she only fucks billionaires, there’s a reason for that, it’s called being a hooker, where she’s both the pimp and the whore. she’s taught us a few things…

The first is that you need to get out of your relationship with some has been actor who is probably gay, you already got the press for that and the best way to do that is by fucking Bieber…he’s popular..

The second is to get fired from your million dollar contract with a lingerie company, because the billionaires you are trying to bed won’t want to pay your rent when they know you are out of work…but that you were once employed…by a high profiled brand….you know to help you get back on your feet…they just like that you had work and that you’re in a place of desperation that requires their help…

The third is to pull in some sporadic campaigns, so that she doesn’t seen like a full mooch….

The fourth thing is to do some media, get some red carpet pics, you know seem like an active member int he model world…because these billionaires want models, they don’t want girls who once modeled…that makes them feel irrelvant and buying last year’s model..

Part of that is instagram YOGA pics…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|SFW

2016

05

Feb

5 Reasons Not to Buy Playboy’s Non Nude Issue of the Day

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Playboy Magazine pulled the nudity to be more Christian and ad friendly, thinking it may shift the brand back to being a premium luxury market men’s magazine, maybe even a content producer that makes webseries, documentaries featuring alternative news stories and features on people of “interest’…you know since that’s what is making money online with BuzzFeed and Vice.

The issue with pulling the nudity in a print magazine, is why the fuck else would anyone want to buy a print magazine, other than to take it to the bathroom and jerk off to, and even if they were trying to make it a high produced photo book, no dude’s going to buy a magazine with a spread of some random girl they want to see naked, unless she’s fucking naked…

No matter who the guy is, they aren’t going to want to see some Vogue type photoshoot of some model they don’t actually care about…

So here are 5 reasons not to buy Playboy’s new magazine, that I am hoping is a total bust and that they go back to nudity like in print, not that I ever bought the magazine, but I just like seeing people, even billion dollar companies fail after stupidity, and spinning it as a PR stunt…

5- Print is dead, even if they did nudity, you’d be able to find all the pics on forums and websites on the internet, so you don’t need to kill trees to read articles about shit you don’t care about…

4- Playboy destroyed their brand using gutter strippers in local markets as their cybergirls, and using gutter strippers Hef wanted to fuck despite looking like clowns for over 15 years…just garbage content…that you didn’t need the last 15 years and won’t need now.

3- Playboy removing nudity from their print magazine, like their website is a business decision for advertisers, and anyone who compromises content people want to see for ad dollars is a whore who must be killed and left in a ditch after washing her off with bleach

2- Playboy was more progressive in the conservative, nuclear family, baby boomer, advent of television, 1950s, and slowly went into trashy 90s / 2000s porn influence, but that doesn’t mean you go in a total opposite direction, rather you gotta go back to your fucking roots…which is nudity…..Playboy paved the way for porn and edginess and fought for nudity in magazines when it was considered obscene, they paid girls lots of money to get naked and are the reason girls get naked for free…making their opportunity to do great nude content golden…just offer girls 100 dollars and boom…amazingness…instead they are going GQ?…ridiculous..

1- Their first Centerfold is Dree Hemingway and she isn’t interesting, she’s been naked for fashion before, so why would you want to see her in some bullshit photoshoot by a bullshit photographer, that will look like everything already on instagram, especially when you’ve seen her tits…

Hef is dead, Playboy is dead…and the joke in ALL of this is that it is owned by Pornhub….who are using it to go mainstream…

Posted in:Playboy|SFW

2016

05

Feb

Jojo Fitness Erotica of the Day

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I am easily blinded by workout gear and my autism just makes me assume that this is fitness…I am surrounded by fatness so the idea of fitness is foreign to me….and I get confused….

It could just be a girl who had a hit song when she was 15, who decided to fall off the map, even though perverts considered her jailbait, even though she wasn’t hot, just not this pervert, before getting fat and locking into a relationship with a black dude to keep things hip hop…taking another stab at things and happy her boxy gut, is a little more toned…but fit or not…she’s just too fucking average looking to spend more time on…..

Holding on to what she had…

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Posted in:JoJo|SFW

2016

05

Feb

Elizabeth Banks in Vanity Fair of the DAy

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Elizabeth Banks is one of the most powerful or richest women in comedy…which is saying a lot considering she was an F List actress for the majority of her career, we’re talking most of her 20s and 30s, but I guess when she pulled her head out of her ass and realized that when you’ve got the foot in the door, and you put your ego aside and give up on trying to be the hot chick, and instead decide to be the funny chick, you can put out some terrible fucking movie like Pitch Perfect and make 100 million dollars…or more…and all it takes is one fucking Franchise, just ask George Lucas, to make you that money and that you can ride into your retirement and not really do anything but that ever again….that can be it…you just need that one hit…and Vanity Fair will be featuring your tits like they matter…when prior to Pitch Perfect, even Playboy didn’t care about running a spread with you….

So don’t think big, think gimmick novelty you can sell the fuck out hard..and then you’ll matter…

Posted in:Elizabeth Banks|SFW

2016

05

Feb

Charlotte McKinney’s Instagram Porn of the Day

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Charlotte McKInney is a huge fucking stat and people like her…at least that’s what she keeps telling herself as she looks in the mirror at her questionable Florida trash face that she knows under different circumstances would be a bottle service girl on the Fort Lauderdale strip, you know either hooters or that other one that girls Flash their tits from because that’s just what Florida brings out in people..I blame the toxins from the Ocean water in the air…

I guess to support those affirmations in the mirror, getting a ton of fucking likes for pics like this can help delusions blossom that people actually like her or think she’s hot because they interracted with a topless fucking pic…

I posted her GQ Mexico, because she’s bootleg the other day, here they are again…because help this bottom feeder – bottom feed – it’s not like she’s got that solid a window of opportunity ahead of her…

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW

2016

05

Feb

Natalie Dormer Goes to Events of the Day

Natalie Dormer is some Game of Thrones girl people want to fuck, because Game of Thrones is a huge show and Natalie Dormer is the hot girl in it…all thanks to people like fairies and dragons and scifi/fantasy….and mainly thanks to scifi/fantasy dudes liking girls…because they never get to fuck them..as they are too shy to talk to them…until they use their nerd powers to invent something massive, become billionaires, and model pussy throws itself at them….

But then again, there are a lot of nerds with no nerd work ethic, or no nerd intelligence, they just sit in the basement eating junk food, playing videogames, watching movies, talking to other nerds passionately about banal shit that doesn’t matter while chronically masturbating…not showering..and stinking up the god damn bus with their unshowered cum soaked pathetic lives…They also like Natalie Dormer….

Here she is at Zoolander 2…or did they do something clever and call it Zoolander TOO…or something more fashion oriented, a movie that offends me at its core because it reminds me that Hollywood is out of ideas, doesn’t take risks, and run after bullshit repeat business, even if the stars of said repeat business are old, boring and the joke is done…

But at least Natalie Dormer showed cleavage…she’s got a weird face…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Natalie Dormer|SFW

2016

05

Feb

Joanna Krupa is Still Trying of the Day

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Joanna Krupa brought out some of her low level modeling skills to some photoshoot in attempts to pretend she’s not 40 and it’s all over for her…because thanks to decent botox, some solid fake tits, a fit body and a stint on a couple of shitty reality shows that don’t really matter, but that increase her stock price or value….as more than just a Glamour model, but rather some kind of personality…even though Glamour modeling is all she knows….all she’s ever done…in efforts to help her career as a prostitute…

I am not amazed this girl exists, there will always be a place for hot chicks he get naked in cheesy photoshoots…because I’ll always look….I won’t pay..but I’ll look at it for free which is fine because she’s doing it more as a hobby then anything as her payroll comes from fucking.

What a whore

Posted in:Joanna Krupa|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Jessica Alba in Cosmo of the Day

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Jessica Alba is useless but she’s hot and she’s famous and she’s rich…and that’s what matters in this world…she’s also a budding entrepreneur who pretty much is the face of a business she’s never done any work on, other than showing up and showing up and now it is worth a billion fucking dollars…and that’s a proper execution of TITS getting hits..and here are those tits in Cosmo…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Kate Hudson’s Showing Off Her Fuck Moves of the Day

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Here is an old as fuck Kate Hudson showing off her moves an flexibility that she spends a lot of time working on – and that she’s a pro with – because she’s got nothing better to do with herself..as days are long when you don’t have an actual job…

These are the moves that make me ask “how good does that bitch have to be in bed to make a dude who can fuck anything want to kill himself when she leaves, especially after knowing how she’s fucked everyone, or how she has a kid, and is just some broken rich kid you should just bang out and move on with your life….”

They also remind me of all the dudes she’s had inside her well rounded ass…

Posted in:Kate Hudson|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Random Models in Some Magazine of the Day

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I don’t know who any of these models are:

Caile Noble, Elie Maalouf, Marie Claire France, Melina Gesto, Michael Hemy, Sebastien Cambos

I don’t know what this shoot is for, but I am assuming it’s for the latest issue of some fashion magazine that makes millions of dollars a year being pretentious as fuck about nothing very important…hiring a bunch of staff and interns who are also pretentious as fuck but not very important…only they walk around an think that they are…it’s fashion baby…

I am only posting it for the nipple…

Posted in:Fashion|SFW