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Archive for the Shopping Category

2009

Jan

Skinny Lohan Goes Shopping of the Day

Here is Lohan, the bitch who thinks the world revolves around her, because she’s a spoiled fucking brat who gets what she wants all the time. You know a 21 year old who acts like an irrational 5 year old throwing a fucking tantrum. Sure, it may not be her fault, she is only 21 and has time to grow the fuck up, but I don’t believe in blaming parents, I believe in blaming myself, because ultimately, I am the one who has to live this fucking life.

Sure, she was a child star and was coddled and spoiled by everyone around her because she was their bankroll, so she got everything and anything that she wanted to make sure she kept on producing, kinda like when a horse trainer makes sure his prize race horse gets special treatment when transporting him from race to race, or when a pig farmer lets his state fair prize winner live in the house with his family and makes his wife make extra dinner to give to the fucking pig, or pretty much any other situation where the happiness of one, brings money to many, so many make sure the one is happy. It doesn’t matter.

Here she is shopping, looking skinny and haggard buying vitamins like they will save her weathered face. Let’s hope she pulls a Heath Ledger..

Yesterday I wrote that Lohan is an unstable cunt because she is probably on a lot of drugs and has a lot of time on her hands since the peak of her career was 5 years ago when she was in Mean Girls and it has been a slow and steady ride downhill to unemployment since. You know getting fired for sporadic episodes of Ugly Betty and not getting any movie roles, well I guess I was wrong. She got the gig being the spokesperson/model for Fornarina, a middle the road clothing company that’s not quite designer and not quite Lee Dungaroos.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Shopping|Skinny

2008

Oct

Lindsay Lohan Buys What’s Important in Life of the Day

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So if you’ve noticed, Lohan and Sam Ronson are pretty fucking skinny, and here is the reason why. Their diet consists of water, chewing gum, lots of cigarettes and some Doritos in case their blood sugar drops, not to mention, they like to keep their money rolled up nice and tight, because I guess it’s easier to shove in their wallet, and by wallet, I obviously mean, their nose.

Maybe Lohan’s just a creature of habit and has really cut the blow, but can’t seem to drop the habbit of rollin’ her bills, but I’d like to say based on her appearance, she hasn’t and the good news is she’s not out trying to hide it by keeping her rolled up money in her purse to pull out in the club bathroom, because I always hated closet case drug addicts, if you’re going to do it, be proud of it, and cut the fuckin’ lines on the table in front of us, and offer it up to the people around you, it’s the only classy way to do things, and we all know Lohan always keeps it classy while fisting vagina.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Shopping

2008

Aug

Michelle Trachtenberg Dresses Like a Fat Version of Her Boyfriend of the Day

4 Comments »

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There was a time when Michelle Trachtenberg was the kind of Jewish girl I’d be willing to have sex with provided the opportunity arose and she was eager to piss off her parents by having sex with an old, fat, poor Mexican like so many teenage Jewish girls before her. I never sat around wondering what it would be like to climb her little jew leg to her jewish womb, but didn’t mind lookin’ at her do her thing.

That was before she ate one too many Kanishes and her hips went the way of her grandmothers’ after escaping the holocaust and finding happiness in America (the land of opportunity), making babies and hoarding as much food as possible both in her stomach and in her cupboards to be better prepared to deal with the fear of another bout with the starvation that comes with the genocide of her religion.

The truth is that her fat little jew legs and wide set jew hips that don’t balance out her little skinny jew head aren’t really what throw me off in these pics, it’s the fact that she’s wearing the same outfit as the dude she’s fuckin’ like they were on a cattle car to Auchwitz in their state issued uniform that does.

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Posted in:Fat|Michelle Trachtenberg|Shopping

2008

Apr

Pink’s Hard Nipples Go Lesbian Shopping of the Day

6 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Lesbian Pink doing some Lesbian Grocery Shopping and her nipples are hard. I was trying to figure out what she bought because I figure lesbians buy anything tree hugging, vegan, organic and granola based, but can’t make out what this is. I guess lesbians also buy anything phallic because they can use it on their pussies before eating it in some kind of green-living, saving on consumption kick.

I think ti’s funny how everyone is fuckin’ crazy about saving the environment now, it’s everywhere I fucking look. Where all these people think they have a responsibility to save the fuckin’ world and that their using shitty overpriced lightbulbs or putting a brick in their toilet is going to make a fucking difference. I don’t like group though and that’s why I still don’t recycle. I am a garbage producer and the proof of that is in this site.

Posted in:Nipples|Pink|Shopping

2008

Apr

Sophie Monk’s Got Some Hot Legs of the Day

3 Comments »

I guess I shouldn’t rip into Sophie Monk for having been with the Good Charlotte sister who is now with Paris Hilton because I’ve probably talked about it a few times and shit is played out. She already dropped his ass and I think it’s time for me to move on too. It looks like Sophie Monk’s got a new pussy to throw it to that is a much better lookin’ in women’s panties than the last one, which isn’t saying much because he only wore them when he was writing his shitty songs, which wasn’t that often. It’s safe to say that this upgrade’s probably got a fresher and smaller vagina than Benji’s new find, but to be fair, everybody does so I guess that’s not saying all that much about her, but it is saying that Benji got a shitty deal with Sophie Monk looks like this and is hitting the streets more and more now that he’s out of the fuckin’ picture. I guess if I was involved with such a cunt, I’d keep myself locked up for fear of being seen in public. Shit’s embarassing, like the time I was dating a 4 fingered (on both hands) ablino who was about 70 pounds overweight, which amazed me since she didn’t have many fingers to shovel food down her throat fast enough to get to that level, but she managed to pull it off somehow and she always insisted I take her out for milkshakes after I fucked her and I’d always refuse. I have no issue admitting I have no standards to myself but I am not about to do it in front of my peers to judge me, not to mention I didn’t want her to think I was her boyfriend because I know the sex would have ended, she’d just want to cuddle and I’d have to admit that I am not just a pervert but actually a loser and at 15, I wasn’t ready to come to terms with that.

Posted in:Hot|Legs|Shopping|Sophie Monk

2007

Nov

I am – Vanessa Minnillo’s Ass Shopping of the Day

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I got a thing for watching useless d-list celebrities shopping, mainly because it reminds me that a lot of people who suck at life are doing a lot better than I am, and that is the kind of re-affirmation I need to continue hating myself.

While leaving the bar last night, I ended up seeing one really hot chick and her ugly friend walking down the other side of the street with bikes in one hand and the front tire in the other. I have a thing for girls who steal bikes , that shit is like porn to me, so I decided to run up to them and see what the deal was, hoping I’d have a better outcome than the last time.

The hot girl was decent with me and joking around about how they stole bikes, but her friend went fucking crazy on me for being english. She was telling me how fat and ugly I am and how I lack culture because I don’t speak their fuckin’ language. She went on about how French is Montreal and how I have no business being there, so when I asked it that meant she wouldn’t let me watch her masturbate she fuckin’ lost it and tried to have a fight with me. I was fucking wasted and felt like punching a bitch in the face woulda made for a good end to my night, so I tried to convince her to hit me first, but she just got in her cab, with her stolen bikes and drove out of my life.

Reality is, I don’t hit girls but I woulda used to opportunity to just tried to wrestle her to the ground and start makin’ out with her, because fighting with girls is embarrassing, because I know she would have won.

Speaking of winning, it looks like Nick Lachey didn’t win the lottery with this slut after spending a couple years slammin’ Jessica Simpson, this is a step down, but she’s still better lookin’ than I am and even if that isn’t saying much, it’s sayin’ something…like I’d still watch her touch her toes, over and over and over….

Related Posts:

Vanessa Minnillo Fully Nude
Nick and Vanessa In the Hot Tub

2007

Aug

I am – Gwen Stefani Shops in her Bikini Top of the Day

1 Comment »

I was hanging out with some street kids last night because I was drunk. I don’t normally make a point of chatting up the dirtiest fucking tra I can find, but when I am drunk I am pretty much willing to talk to anyone who is willing to sit through it and lucky for me, last night’s audience was a group of squeegee punks. They were asking me for a cigarette because I guess they were too poor to buy themselves cigarettes. They had a dog, a guitar and a film camera from the Dollar Store. They asked me to take a picture of them and I asked them to sing me a song, so the dark skinned ratty motherfucker with dreads starts singing about living on the streets. When I asked them where they were headed they told me to get some food and back to one of their apartments. I was pretty pissed off when I found out that the street kids I was dealing with had homes, so I started to give them shit, then they told me that they were all on welfare, lived together and lived the street kid life but didn’t actually live on the street. They were high on meth and when I offered them 20 dollars to do a street kid porn for me, the girl who had the biggest fucking gut, told me she was only 17.

These Gwen Stefani pics are to celebrate lost opportunity and broken dreams because bitch is a fucking suburban punk who made a name for herself in some candy-coated ska band and was marketed as a punk to the world while the closest thing she’s been to a punk is when one tries to squeegee her limo window on her way to a sold out arena show….and the closest thing to dumpster diving bitch has ever done was when she went grocery shopping with her husband in her bikini….and he made bitch carry the groceries…

Related Posts:

Gwen Stefani Ruins My Fetish of the Day
Gwen Stefani and Her Baby
Lohan and Gayheart Grocery Shopping
Alba Grocery Shopping

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2007

Jul

I am – Maria Menounos and Emma Watson Shopping of the Day

2 Comments »

I never really watched any Harry Potter movies because they remind me of virgin dudes who sit at home and dress up like wizards while playing Dungeons and Dragons on the newest videogame system that they bought with birthday money from their grandmother, but I have heard of this 17 year old named Emma Watson and her friend Maria Menounous from Entertainment Tonight or wherever the fuck she’s from and here they are shopping together.

Either way, it’s nice to see friends come together for the sake of landing an interview in attempts to promote a movie that is about to come out while dressing the British girl in Sex Pistol and Union Jack shirts because that’s what the people want to see. I am all about fake friends and pretending to love people I hate for the sake of keeping up appearances because that’s what fake friends are for…

Posted in:Emma Watson|Maria Menounos|Shopping|Unsorted

2006

Jan

Kirsten Dunst Goes Shopping

3 Comments »

I don’t really get off to watching nasty celebrities do their grocery shopping…I do get off to watching them eat, but that’s only because I have a food fetish. I like food and that is why I am fat. Apparantly Kirsten Dunst likes food too, but she’s just one of those slim-fat bitches, the kind that looks skinny, but the second her clothes are off – she’s all droppin all over the place. The only reason I know this is because she has big tits, real skinny don’t have big tits. It’s nice to see that celebrities have the luxury of actually going grocery shopping, I am forced to eat cans of creamed corn that I stole from the canning factory I used to work at, before the cunts fired me. This is unemployed Jesus, and I like to drink.

Posted in:Kirsten Dunst|Shopping|Unsorted