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Archive for the Shorts Category

2009

03

Sep

Ali Larter and her Multi-Vitamin Pee Shorts of the Day

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I wrote a Tweet yesterday about how I once woke up the kind of a girl you find disgusting and hate, but who is sleeping in your bed after you were too drunk and too weak and brought her home and fucked her despite knowing you are better than her and that you lowered yourself to a whole new low which is saying a lot because you’re no that much to look at, and really you’ve had sex with some pretty disgusting shit, but nothing as disgusting as this girl with that smile across her face in your fucking bed, making you feel borderline suicidal, but realize you’ve seen the worst and it is only uphill from her and the thought of her will haunt you for the rest of your fucking life, but will also keep you from making the same mistake again no matter how little fucking self control you have, and I did it with hungover practically brown multi-vitamin piss, the thickest and worst smelling piss you can imagine, all over her disgusting face while screaming things at her like that she’s nothing but a public toilet and she’s lucking she didn’t wake up to me shitting on her like she deserves….It was a desperate time in my life, and Ali Larter’s wearing the shorts….

Pics Via INFPhoto

Posted in:Ali Larter|Shorts

2009

01

Sep

Hayden Panettiere in Her Pink Spandex Shorts of the Day

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When I first saw these Hayden pics, I thought “gross, I can see her balls” or vagina shaped like balls, like she was a gay dude on rollerskates, but as I saw them from a little closer I may or may not have got a little turned on. There’s just something about tight spandex, vagina hugging shorts that drive me a little bananas, shit just gets my nuts goin nuts, even if the bitch is built like a pick-up truck, maybe even is a little manly in her stance, or short in her stature, but these shorts just cancel all that out and are a huge reason why I sit by the bike path every weekend watching rollerbladers go by cuz they aren’t just for celebs you know, they are everywhere and I love them.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Shorts

2009

31

Aug

Miley Cyrus in Some Has Hugging Shorts on of the Day

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Miley was out wearing the Disney Issued shorts she is contractually obliged to wear everytime she goes to a meeting with her bosses, only she was good enough to keep the crotchless feature that buttons up like a pair of Peter Pan pajamas, buttoned up because otherwise these pics would make us all kiddie porn peddlers. Remember one day she will turn 18 and that day will hopefully be the day all you perverts lose interest with her because I can tell you this much, she is not hot.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Shorts

2009

26

Aug

Miley Cyrus in Some Jean Shorts of the Day

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Miley Cyrus has a face that reminds me of my friend who had some disorder and they had to put the motherfucker on some sort of steroid treatment that turned the motherfucker into some kind of walking marshmallow lookin’ piece of shit and it always shocks me when dudes I meet say she’s hot. I get it, the Disney guys in the office when she was 14 who had parental consent from Billy Ray did what they had to do, because they knew they weren’t going to jail, and when else do you get to fuck with a 14 year old. It’s like the time a stripper asked me to fuck her or the time that girl we never met asked my friend to piss in her face, you just gotta take the opportunity when it strikes, but for the average viewer who looks at this wonky faced slut and think it is awesome, I just will never grasp….
Here she is dressed like a cowboy because she is one.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Shorts

2009

14

Aug

Christina Ricci and Her Shorts of the Day

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I know what you’re thinking…Christina Ricci hasn’t really been hot since she was in Casper…when she was 10…and that’s why you shouldn’t be working as a school bus driver or as camp councillor or even as a barber at Kid Cutz. You are a sick person and need to be locked up and Christina Ricci is a sick person for slaughtering her tits because she thought they were too big….Here she is in shorts.

Posted in:Christina Ricci|Shorts

2009

31

Jul

Taylor Swift in Some Period Short Shorts of the Day

14 Comments »

I am not too sure if Taylor Swift’s got her period yet because she’s supposed to be some kind of virgin icon to little girls everywhere, but she’s definitely taking the safety procautions in the event that she does by rockin’ a pair of red shorts. I guess it’s normal when you’re the only girl out of your friends who hasn’t got it yet, it makes you feel inadequate and undeveloped, especially with your string bean body, where you tower over all the other girls.

You know the constant wondering why God is unfair to you every morning when you excitedly check to see if you’ve been spotting, you know if it came to you in the night, because the boys stupidly only like girls who have their periods and big tits, because they don’t realize those girls who have their periods can get teenage pregnant and those big tits are going to be fat as fuck in a few years.

Either way here are her “virgin” legs on set of some movie in some shorts and she’s really not that interesting to look at..maybe she should join the volleyball team…I feel like that’s where she belongs….

Posted in:Period|Shorts|Taylor Swift

2009

24

Jul

Tara Reid is Still Alive and She’s in Some Shorts of the Day

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Tara Reid was at some party and I thought she was trying to seduce the bottles of booze, at least it looks like she’s coming onto it pretty hard, all pussy out and ready to take it all in, but it turns out she’s got a new man and his name is Michael Axtmann….

Now, Michael Axtmann is a really lucky guy. Not only did he get Tara Reid ten years after her prime, you know so that he doesn’t have to deal with pretty much anyone wanting to fuck her, except for maybe a few latch-ons who can’t let go, because after years of hard drinking and drug use while not working, people tend to forget about you, as long as they are OCD creepy chronic masturbations, but he also gets Carson Daly’s sloppy fuckin’ seconds and that’s something I’m not too sure I’d be able to live with, I’m talking murder suicide after someone tells me a bitch I am with banged Carson Daly, no matter how much younger or crazier she was. Not to mention everytime he pulls down her pants, not only does he see Carson lookin’ back at him, but he also realizes he’s hallucinating thanks to whatever fumes she’s got seeping out of her pussy, pores and pretty much all her orifices as her body tries to eliminate the pollution.

I guess the good news for her is that he’s German and has no problem with the fact that she’s lost control of her bowels, if anything that’s probably the reason why he’s with her…

And here she is in shorts and I think I’m in love.

Posted in:Beach|Love|Shorts|Tara Reid

2009

20

Jul

Pam Anderson’s Boyfriend is Ashamed of the Hepatitis of the Day

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Pamela Anderson’s boyfriend has a funny story. You know when you were sitting around with your friends back in college and you were drinking before you went out to get laid, but not actually ever closing the deal, and you used to play “Would you rather?”, and one of the questions was along the lines of “Would you eat Pamela Anderson out when she was on her Period?” or “Would you rather lick her ass right after she took a shit?”, or “Would you rather fuck Pamela Anderson up the ass without a condom even if she was HIV Positive?” because you know she was the fuckin’ hot shit of the decade, the go to celebrity pussy to jerk off to, because she was hard nippled in a bathing suit on all our TVs late Saturday nights and had a sex tape and Playboy career.

Well Pamela Anderson’s boyfriend is living the “Would you rather”, sure it’s a decade and a half too late, but I guess no matter how grey and dead her pussy gets, she’s still Pam Anderson, and he was just some nobody construction worker, so when it came to would you rather be content having met a girl you used to fantasize your first wife looked like, or would you rather get Hep C from fucking her, he chose ther latter….and so would you.

But I guess he’s trying to hide his face so when she’s done with him, like she’s been done with so many men before him, he won’t have Hep C tattooed on his forehead scaring all the new pussy away….

Posted in:Hepatits|Pam Anderson|Shorts|Whore

2009

10

Jul

Some Bullshit Gossip Girl in Stupid Shorts of the Day

2 Comments »

Her name is Jessica Szohr which pretty much makes her my soulmate because I have szohr’s all over my cock, szohr’s that look like her ugly Charlie Brown shorts that probably cost more than everything I own combined, but in my defense, I don’t really own anything, I’m born to roam and mooch off my lonely and desperate wife.

Posted in:Gossip Girl|Jessica Szohr|Shorts

2009

07

Jul

Britney Spears in Some Shorts from Behind of the Day

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Whenever I have horrible food poisoning because I eat garbage I find in random places as it is a matter of survival where beggars can’t be choosers, I find myself shitting random things out like blood and my liver while sitting on my toilet for hours, I always imagine that is what Britney Spears’ panties look and smell like, and it makes it all okay.

Here she is in shorts.

Posted in:Ass|Britney Spears|Shorts