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Archive for the Tits Category

2010

24

Feb

Lindsay Lohan’s Not Showing Off her Tits of the Day

4 Comments »

The best thing about Lindsay Lohan is not the drama, it’s not the party girl, it’s not the fact that she fucks girls or the fact that she’s fucked a lot of boys…it’s not the fact that she’s rich, or fun, or crazy or a teenage sexual fantasy from 6 years ago or that she’s good at getting high and it’s not the fact that I want to fuck her mother and her sister at the same time on video to send to her asshole dad to make him mad….it’s her tits, and for some reason, she hasn’t been showing them off recently and that upsets me, so I reached out to her people and told them to get her showing off more tit because her tits are fucking perfect and they didn’t listen to me, probably because they don’t know I exist, they just ignored me and this is what they gave me without realizing they gave it to me because they don’t know I even exist, and sure it’s still Lohan, she’s still my fucking favorite, but I need to see these nipples now that they are older, wiser and more experienced since I can’t have them in my mouth…

So here she is leaving a club lookin’ wasted, just not as wasted as I normally like my pussy leaving a bar, but this is Lohan and that means she’s always good enough for me…..even if everyone else thinks she’s gone to shit….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Tits

2010

23

Feb

Brooke Burke’s “Wild On” Nipple in a Tank Top of the Day

7 Comments »

I remember Wild On. A show where Brooke Burke, the host with fake tits in her bikini, would go to some of the cheesiest, lamest, frat boy, All American Spring Break parties Cancun and other dumps had to offer, before switching her life up where the on “Wild On” happens in the playground with her 10 kids, or on twitter when tweeting about how much she loves her fucking family life, or apparently in her white shirt as one of her nipples goes of and plays on its own leaving the other one alone and confused…

Here are the pics…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Brooke Burke|Tits

2010

22

Feb

Sophie Turner Lookin’ Classy of the Day

5 Comments »

Sophie Turner’s people cast some kind of spell on me. I don’t know what PR brainwashing they did but it fucking worked, cuz everytime I see her pictures I feel the need to post about her.

For those of you who don’t know, Sophie Turner is some Australian Lawyer who was on some reality show and who is trying to make it in America. She looks like typical trash stripper and pornstar with fake everything, and I called her out on it, something I am sure everyone has done at least once before, but that she pretended to not like, despite the obvious attempt and effort she’s put into lookin’ this way, so I got a fuckin’ lawsuit threat to take down my comments about her lookin’ like a pornstar….

Either way, I thought the whole thing was a fucking joke, I told them off and wrote about it on the site, and now every time I see her pics of her and her obnoxious whore outfits she wears for attention, I can’t help but post the shit, even if they are boring, cliche and only show a little fake tit cleavage. It’s like they’ve cast some voodoo spell on me, so here I am at it again, Sophie Turner lookin’ like a pornstar but not a pornstar, irrelevant and not exciting, but good enough for me to post, cuz they fucking brainwashed me…..Motherfuckers.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:cleavage|Sophie Turner|Tits

2010

22

Feb

Jessica Simpson Gets Her Tit Grabbed by a Gay of the Day

6 Comments »

Jessica Simspon’s big ol’ sloppy tit is getting accidentally grabbed by her gay hairdresser and I’m sure she appreciates the attention because getting your tit grabbed is one step closer to getting pregnant so that you don’t feel like an Old Maid you are at family functions since your baby sister is a proud parent in a happy marriage, while you can’t even get a motherfucker to fuck you for more than a fucking week…and all you get is a few seconds of accidental male attention that isn’t even into this kind of thing, and who probably threw up after this happened and soaked his hand in purrell to get the titty germs off of him….to forget the whole incident ever happened.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Tits

2010

22

Feb

Kate Bosworth’s Ass and Titties of the Day

1 Comment »

Skinny girls with hard nipples and a skinny little ass are always hot to me, even if they are useless actors who don’t get enough work for me to really figure out why you know their name or where you have seen them before, but you do know that even when their hard nipples are hardly there, it’s good enough and I have a feeling that’s the same thing she thinks to herself when she lands obscure and insignificant jobs in a “take the money and run while its coming in and people still give me work” kind of way…..and I guess we can only hope she has the same outlook on all things in her life, especially when it comes down to deciding who to stick inside her, because having no standards, tastes, consciousness is really the only hope we ever have of crawling up inside and dying inside this bitch like we were her laxative and diet coke eating disorder lunch….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ass|Kate Bosworth|Tits

2010

18

Feb

Mischa Barton Making Herself Look Alive of the Day

9 Comments »

One of the bigger jokes that happened in Hollywood in the last 24 hours are these pictures of Mischa Barton trying to get herself made up, done up, cleaned up in this makeover.

You see the last few months she’s been drinking hard, rockin’ a cocaine bloated face, she hasn’t been showering and I put her on the death watch, mainly because she looked like she was one night into a fatal overdose…like a fat swollen corpse but I guess she’s decided to step things up, shower and get her hair and make-up done, to show us that she’s not going to give up fully just yet, she’s gonna have at least one more night of beauty and glamor, where everyone notices her new clean hair and big fat tits, but I figure this look lasted a solid 20 minutes before she started sweating, jonesing leading to ripping lines in the taxi to get her fix….

One of the bigges jokes that’s happened in my life in the last 24 hours is that this is my fucking life…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Made-Up|Mischa Barton|Tits

2010

17

Feb

Shauna Sand is Like a Silver Medal of the Day

2 Comments »

The Olympics are going on and I thing Shauna Sand is channeling that with her choice in outfits by rockin’ this silver metalic shit that still shows enough cleavage to remind us she is a whore. I’m just not sure what message she’s trying to get across. I figure she’s either trying to say she’s not quite the best or the top of her game, but she’s still worth celebrating, or maybe she’s just saying she’s a fucking disappointment and can’t come in first because despite all her hard work getting plastic surgery everywhere on her body except her pussy, where she actually needs it, cuz shit looks dead and tired and needs a little refreshing, she’s still the first fucking loser….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Shauna Sand|Tits

2010

16

Feb

Nicole Richie and Her New Mom Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Nicole Richie finally has the tits she always wanted and all it took was getting knocked up twice by one of the Good Charlotte sisters.

She went through being fat, being bloated from drugs, wearing push-up bras and nothing ever filled her awkward little body out properly, until she found pregnancy.

I guess it jacked her up with female hormones she was lacking due to developmental issues that she had thanks to being born premature to a Lionel Richie crackhead groupie….before being adopted and living the Orphan Annie dream.

She is coming to Montreal in two days, I think I should hire some crackheads to get some exclusive rape videos….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Nicole Richie|Tits

2010

15

Feb

Heidi Montag’s Big New Tits of the Day

10 Comments »

This whole Heidi Montag Plastic Surgery bullshit brings up a valid argument. She says that she felt insecure about herself because all the blogs made fun of her, proving my theory that bullying works.

Everyone kicks kids out of school for picking on each other, when really our society needs that shit to grow balls, to have a spine, to be a man, to know your place in the world and to make the necessary changes needed to be all you can fucking be. Instead, they want kids to be raised to be little bitches on a level playing field, even though life doesn’t work like that.

I think attention whore Heidi Montag looks better than ever, which isn’t saying much. I still hate her and hope she fails or dies. I find her annoying and desperate and obviously not qualified to do anything, but I can respect that she’s balanced out her horseface thru surgery and turned herself into a cheesy insecure lookin’ whore you’d find in porn or at stripclubs, which is perfect cuz these tits will come in handy when she turns to stripping or porn, which I think is pretty inevitable for a broke, useless, attention whore latch on who has peaked with a loser troll boyfriend who is behind her insanity and here are the pics…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Tits

2010

15

Feb

Pam Anderson’s Tits in a Tube Dress of the Day

5 Comments »

There’s always something funny about seeing a 40 year old dressed like a teenage girl in an inappropriate outfit she bought at American Apparel to wear to her high school dance to show off her newly grown tits. It’s like part of me wants to scream at her to give it the fuck up already, like I’ve done many times when the vintage, antique, expired strippers try to get me to get a lap dance from them so many time at discount stripclubs I go to, not to use stripping as another reference point, but it is a big part of my life…I mean I guess I could compare her to the sluts in the rich part of town who spend their husband’s money getting Yoga pussy in tight pants and tank tops who you see on the street, but that’s not as much fun cuz those women don’t give me the time of day, they just scowl and clench their purses, whereas strippers let me pay them to feel it….either way, Pam Anderson’s gotta retire before her hepatitis makes it too late….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Pam Anderson|Tits