Uncategorized Archives - Page 109 of 420 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

09

May

I am – Jane Magazine Posts Smut and Gets Ads, I Post Smut and Get Banned By Everyone of the Day

Jane Mag may be a woman’s magazine that I have heard was founded by some dyke who banged Drew Barrymore, but they still post pictures of user submitted tits for breast cancer. I am all for the breast cancer cause and I am all for the world being a little more lenient when it comes to tits, because I don’t think a naked woman is a bad thing, unfortunately for me, advertisers do.

I know that my content may be semi-racy and that I post tits on my mainpage, but I have been banned in schools and offices around the world. I am also not able to submit my website to Digg.com because it is banned. I was rejected from the Amazon affiliate link, I was rejected by intellitxt advertising and their competition called Kontera, I was rejected by Google Adwords, sites who used to link to me, can’t because google has me blacklisted. I have emailed other advertisers directly, like Rockstar Games, American Apparel, film companies, clothing companies, music labels, and Axe deodorant spray, because this fucking mexican is trying to make some fucking money. All of them turned me the fuck down because I have tits on the mainpage…

So I have decided that Jane magazine’s attempt at hiding the fact that some lesbian in her office wants to see her readers tits, the same way I ask for nudes, by attaching her smut to a fucking cause and hiding behind a woman’s magazine title. Using the whole fucking locker room theory of sisterly breast advice, is a fucking good approach. So from now on, when I post pictures of tits, I will link to the breast cancer website and when I post a pussy slip, I will post links to cervical cancer, and when I post sex tapes, I will post links to AIDS charities and turn this fucking site into some kind of philanthropical journey of nip slips and fighting fucking cancer and disease…

The point of this post is to say that mainstream media are a bunch of hypocritical cunts and that’s all I have to say to that.

Check out the Jane Magazine Smut
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Thermasilk Owned By Unilever

Oakley

Dove Owned By Unilever

Concierge Owned By Conde Nast (owners of Jane, But Still Next To Tit)

Making a stepDIFFERENCE in Hopes of Becoming the Most Socially Conscious Blog that Advertisers Want t Work WIth – WIthout Sacrificing Content

Find Out More on Breast Cancer and Make a stepDifference
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Buy Something From the PInk Ribbon Store and Make a stepDifference
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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Day Dreamin' of a Topless Bike Ride of the Day

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I checked out my traffic today and it seems like 5 of the 20 people I normally get have stopped coming to the site out of no where. I was trying to figure out why, because I was hoping to make this fucker grow and not shrink and losing 20% of my traffic overnight is pretty fucking major, and all I can come up with is that it’s because summer is here…

I guess it could be because 20% of you realized that the site’s a waste of time, or maybe because my content is pretty weak, or maybe because about 1000 new blogs have popped up and get the content faster than my lazy old timer blogging ass can, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re gone. I also thought maybe the site was banned in offices and schools by another service or someone who used to link me stopped, but I just don’t know why…

In this state of unrest and confusion, I am forced to slip into a day dream of a topless bike ride, because I love it when people are topless, preferably women, but I am not that picky and take what I can get. Enjoy….it only took me 6 hours to edit and upload cuz my computer sucks…

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Day Dreamin’ of a Topless Bike Ride of the Day

59 Comments »

I checked out my traffic today and it seems like 5 of the 20 people I normally get have stopped coming to the site out of no where. I was trying to figure out why, because I was hoping to make this fucker grow and not shrink and losing 20% of my traffic overnight is pretty fucking major, and all I can come up with is that it’s because summer is here…

I guess it could be because 20% of you realized that the site’s a waste of time, or maybe because my content is pretty weak, or maybe because about 1000 new blogs have popped up and get the content faster than my lazy old timer blogging ass can, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re gone. I also thought maybe the site was banned in offices and schools by another service or someone who used to link me stopped, but I just don’t know why…

In this state of unrest and confusion, I am forced to slip into a day dream of a topless bike ride, because I love it when people are topless, preferably women, but I am not that picky and take what I can get. Enjoy….it only took me 6 hours to edit and upload cuz my computer sucks…

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Celebrities Showing Off Their Tits at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala of the Day

2 Comments »

I am all for girls rocking cleavage shirts because I am a pervert and this site has given me a keen eye for spotting nipple slips. I was standing outside a bar, hoping a drunk guy who came out for a cigarette and accidentally drop his wallet the other day, and a group of hot chicks walked out with low cut shirts on, I guess it’s in style to show off your rack and I am not really complaining. One of them conveniently dropped something and when she went to pick it up her shirt dropped and I saw full fucking massive tit, while the other guys next to me missed it. It reminded me of when I was 12 and my foster mother used to come give me talks about God before I went to bed. She’d be in her night gown while I’d be lying in bed. She’d bend over to tuck me in, full tit exposed and I’d totally get a boner and jerk off to it the second she walked out. I always got scared that God was watching me, then I realized that if he was, he was a total pedophile and I might as well give him a good performance, because let’s face it, if I get him to get off when I was 12 only good things would be coming to me….I was wrong…

I am guessing that these celebrities are thinking the same thing, they are advertising their tits at some exclusive black tie event I wasn’t invited to, so that people like us fall into their booby trap…get it..I am so witty and that is good enough for you to start your day to….you’re welcome…

Jessica Simpson May Be Busted But Her Tits are Fucking Huge

Lohan May Be Distracting Us From Her Cocaine Video, But At Least She’s Doing it Properly, this shit will even get Disney to Sign Her Again

Salma Hayek is Pregnant and Full of Milk and That’s Pretty Much What I Wish All My Diet Consisted Of…

Jennifer Garner is Post-Pregancy and Her Tits Have Dried Up, But I’d Still Try To Get the Last Drops Out of Her

Rose McGowan has Always Had Hot Tits

Christina Ricci May Look Old and Beat Up and Her Tits May Have Been Reduced But She’s Still Packin’ Heat.

Scarlett Johannson Still Has Tits and I am Still Lookin’ At Them

Julianne Moore is the First Fire Crotch I Ever Saw in a Movie and Will Always Hold a Warm Place in My Heart for Proving that Myth Isn’t a Myth….

Rosario Dawson’s Tits Look Small But Small Titis are Tits Too…

Juliette Lewis is a Crackhead and Crackheads Don’t Have Tits, But She’s Still Trying…

I Don’t Really Give a Fuck About Mischa Barton But Whatever This is Still Cleavage…

Alicia Keys Has a Hairy Chest, So I Don’t Know If She Counts, But Even Men With Tits Count in Your World, Cuz You Are Desperate…

A few new ones…

I think Ivanka Trump Looks Awesome….I’d wallet-fuck her…

Karolina Kurkova Models Bikinis and I like Bikinis, Especially when they are on me, I feel so pretty…

Gisele isn’t with Victoria’s Secret Anymore, She’s Not a Hot as She Used To Be, But She Has Done A Lot in Her Panties and That Pretty Much Redeems Her….

2007

08

May

I am – Britney Spears Comeback Tour in Vegas Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

These are some shitty cellphone pics of Britney Spears lip syncing in Vegas as part of her attempt at a comeback, the show may have been a rip off and she may be insane now, but she’s still Britney Spears and at least she’s showing off her ass to distract us all from how lame this attempt to climb out of the gutter and back to the top of her game is.

I am costantly attacked by feminists, telling me how what I do is comparable to racism and that I am leading a horrible example to the 20 people who read the site, and I guess saying that at least Britney is showing us her ass fall into that category of objectifying women.

Reality is, I am not the motherfucker on stage showing the world my fucking ass, and if I was, I’d expect someone to comment on how fat it is. I have spent a lifetime trying to seduce girls and not being rich enough, or goodlooking enough, forcing me to end up with someone no one wanted, not even me, but the comfort of having someone there to care was enough for me to do it. You don’t see me sitting here hating on all the hot chicks for not wanting me, or thinking I was scum, in all reality, I am here begging for them to send me nudes.

So, what it all comes down to, is that I just want to have a good time, maybe have a few laughs, and talk a whole lot of shit about nothing important. If you are one to take my words for gospel and either take it home with you to throw at your own fat wife that you settled with, or who got fat after she hooked you in and was too tired to keep herself pretty, or if you are sitting there getting offended by what I have to say, all you have to do is click on the back button in your browser and leave your rants to your fucking self, because people that are that uptight, are people I don’t want to invite to my birthday party or to my comeback show at a shitty small venue….and if you motherfuckers decide to show up with camera phone pics, and decide to write slandering remarks about me, I am not going to cry about it and write a thesis for my gender studies class on how hard people are on me for having a cock.

2007

07

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I don’t really remember what I did today. I was pretty burnt out. I accidentally ate liquid paper and thought I was dying, but realized that everytime I did street drugs, I was probably consuming a hell of a lot worse household products than shit they give little kids in school. I still decided to sleep it off, but that doesn’t mean I was too busy for my links…But first read what I wrote to Kimmy Stewart on Myspace, before it got deleted….

Kimmy,

You’ve probably never heard of me, but I like to tell people that I am famous on the internet because it is overcompensation for my small penis and shitty life.

I just listened to your song – When I Make Love I Was Thinking of You….

I wanted to ask if you wrote that to your liver while banging Joe Francis, because that fucker wronged you by being diseased and incapable of processing your booze, forcing you to make irrational decisions, like raw dogging him and landing you Herpes?

Just curious! Can’t Wait to see the video. Hit me up sometime.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are my links….

Turns Out Kimmy Stewart is a Singer and This is Her Demo Song
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Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson in a Bikini
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Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller having Fun On Set
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Paris Hilton and Her Mom Talk About Her Going to Jail on Video
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A Whole Lot of Celebrity Ass
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Maggie Gyllenhaal Breastfeeds in Public
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Intense Cameltoe Video
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Penelope Cruz Sex Scene
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Petra Nemcova Side Tit Shot
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Sofia Loren’s Huge Old Tits
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Some Photographer with Nude Pics I Like – He’s Mexican
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Pete Wentz Opened a Club in NYC and His Marketing Campaign is that you Can Have Sex in the Bathroom because he only has Sex with Ashlee Simpson while in the bathroom taking a shit, she’s hasn’t quite got hot enough for the bed….Here’s a Video of The Club Bathroom…
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The 2 Sides of Fergie
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David Beckham Gaying Out Hard at a Soccer Game
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Hasslehoff is Banned From Seeing his Kids because of the Drunk Video
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Remember Rachel Bilson, Here She Is Lookin’ Hot
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Highschool Food FIght
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Some Girl Named Fancine Dee Shaking Her Ass on Camera at a Party…
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Tyra Banks in a Bikini for Shape Magazine
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Tyra Banks in NYC Lookin’ Like Shit, Not Just Because She’s Brown…
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Melanie Griffith is Lookin’ Busted and Old, Like a Catcher’s Mitt
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Ty from Extreme Home Makeover Got Arrested
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Anna Nicole Unseen Interview about Prescription Drugs
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Amateur Party Girls Getting Naked
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Geek Porn that Isn’t That Geeky
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The Orgasm Gun Performance Video
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Rachel Bilson Topless Sex Scene
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Some Czech Model Naked and Posing
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Guy Takes a Fake Piss on People on the Lazy River Ride at the Waterpark
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart – NSFW
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Amazing Cutting Off Panty Video
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Paris Smoking a Joint at Coachella
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Kimberly Stewart in Her Underwear Posing
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Little Kid Playing With a Cobrasnake, Not the Hipster Kind…
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Some Cam Girl Named Luna All Naked and Doing Cam Girl Things
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Eva Longoria Dresses Like Hayden Panettiere
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Hayden Panettiere Showing Off Her Huge Guns
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Claire Danes Showing Off Her Fat Tits…and by Fat Tits I Mean Non Existent Tits
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I may have linked this one already, but it is The Superficial Friends Cartoon Featuring Cunt Perez Hilton’s Voice…
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Some Pics of a Naked Pregnant Chick
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Almundena Fernandez in her Lingerie
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Shot By Kern is a VBS Video About a Nude Photographer Named Richard Kern and Bitches He Takes Pics Of…
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Car Racer Danica Patrick Will be Non-Nude in Playboy
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Some Band Called Fountains of Wayne have a Video Featuring The Dude from The Daily Show Named Demetri Martin….
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New Lilly Allen Video – Because I Hate Her
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Some Hot Lingerie Photoshoot Video
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Brittany Murphey Married an Old Man
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You can’t get laid – Try This – It Works
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

07

May

I am – Jannel Syzyska Story Set Straight of the Day

2 Comments »

So I posted about some Girls Gone Wild bitch who claimed she was a virgin and that Joe Francis raped her a long time ago. The post can be found HERE , ignore all the spam in my comments…it happens.

Anyway, I was checking my email and I got some inside scoop on the slut that I felt like I needed to post. I can only assume it’s her friend trying to get more buzz going about her in hopes of landing a porn video gig or a penthouse magazine spread, but I’ll still post it because I never get any scoop and when I do, it makes me feel like a real media company….and sometimes pretending you’re not a waste of internet space is a good thing….

So, I just recently came across an article in the L.A. times about Jannel Syzyska, and about how Joe Francis “raped her”.

I used to be pretty good friends with Jannel, (in the early pre-whore days – seventh grade to be exact.) but when an unfortunate incident involving her and her friend Kaitlyn stealing my underwear occurred, we lost touch, so to say.

Then last year, one of my friends became close friends with Jannel, and I started showing up to parties that she happened to be at and so on..

So Jannel and I got kind of close again, and she revealed to me everything about her, one tidbit being that she had lost her virginity in April to some guy she doesn’t even remember. And she revealed that she did not want to have sex with anybody for a long time because of the fact that she had had sex with quite a few guys since then…

So when I finally did come across this yesterday, I was shocked. I’ve lost touch with her since the beginning of last June.. but in November of last year I had seen her a few times through a mutual friend.. and she had told me that she “went on girls gone wild and masturbated for the camera.” However, she said that she had HAD SEX with Joe Francis, not that he “raped her.”

I know I’m quite late on a story like this.. but I figured I would set the record straight (as if it hadn’t been set straight enough) that she did have sex with him, he did not rape her, and she was not a virgin.

I had no idea that she was all over the internet with her “rape story” or I would have definitely set that straight sooner.

Yes, Joe Francis isn’t the epitomy of class and charm.. but I’m sure he has the opportunity to have sex with much better looking girls without forcing them. So why he would even force sex onto someone like Jannel is baffling.

I don’t know why I felt compelled to write you this e-mail when it was so long ago, and you probably won’t read or respond really, but that enrages me that she would seek fame that much to make up stories.

Thanks for your time and sorry to rant, but I just had to.

All that to say…who really gives a fuck…Cuddles.

2007

04

May

I am – Lohan Goes to See Britney’s Concert of the Day

2 Comments »

I decided that I respect the socially awkward losers who make up the internet, because without them the internet wouldn’t exist. I know people who are actually good looking and successful are too busy being good looking and successful to actually read websites so it’s people like you that may be the stain on society but so important to the future of media, because as it turns out there are more socially awkward virgins than good looking people, and that is why we have the internet.

I was on some celebrity forum looking for pics of Britney’s concert in Anaheim last night and came across so many arguments as to whether a nipple slip was real or a fake. I don’t know if the people sitting at home on their computers, creating the nipple slip are creepier than the dude at home who is analyzing the nipple slip and contesting it’s legitimacy. Either way, you’re creepiness is okay by me, as long as you’re not luring teens from myspace to meet you in the park for sex, then it’s not very harmful, maybe just to your changes of becoming successful and less socially awkward.

Anyway, Britney performed at a House of Blues again and one of my loyal internet girlfriends went to the event. She got her tickets off craigslist for hundreds of dollars and when she got to the venue the security made her check her phone and camera so the only person leaking at the event was Britney’s rancid vagina.

My loyal internet girlfriend told me that the experience was amazing, Britney lip synced the whole thing, performed for 15 minutes and gave Lohan a dirty look when she was singing “I See You Looking at Me” and pointed right at Lohan. Sounds kinds psycho to me but that’s all the inside scoop I can handle today….

These are pics of Lohan on her way into the event, looking as good as she gets….

Posted in:Concert|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

04

May

I am – Lohan Goes to See Britney's Concert of the Day

No Comments »

I decided that I respect the socially awkward losers who make up the internet, because without them the internet wouldn’t exist. I know people who are actually good looking and successful are too busy being good looking and successful to actually read websites so it’s people like you that may be the stain on society but so important to the future of media, because as it turns out there are more socially awkward virgins than good looking people, and that is why we have the internet.

I was on some celebrity forum looking for pics of Britney’s concert in Anaheim last night and came across so many arguments as to whether a nipple slip was real or a fake. I don’t know if the people sitting at home on their computers, creating the nipple slip are creepier than the dude at home who is analyzing the nipple slip and contesting it’s legitimacy. Either way, you’re creepiness is okay by me, as long as you’re not luring teens from myspace to meet you in the park for sex, then it’s not very harmful, maybe just to your changes of becoming successful and less socially awkward.

Anyway, Britney performed at a House of Blues again and one of my loyal internet girlfriends went to the event. She got her tickets off craigslist for hundreds of dollars and when she got to the venue the security made her check her phone and camera so the only person leaking at the event was Britney’s rancid vagina.

My loyal internet girlfriend told me that the experience was amazing, Britney lip synced the whole thing, performed for 15 minutes and gave Lohan a dirty look when she was singing “I See You Looking at Me” and pointed right at Lohan. Sounds kinds psycho to me but that’s all the inside scoop I can handle today….

These are pics of Lohan on her way into the event, looking as good as she gets….

Posted in:Concert|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

03

May

I am – Lohan Partying at Some Event in her Bra of the Day

1 Comment »

Thanks to facebook groups, I realized that the event everyone was freaking out about Lohan being in her bra and cocaine being found in the VIP room at the Twin Palms Estate last weekend was organized by a club I can’t get into because I don’t wash. To see the pictures I am talking about CLICK THIS LINK.

These pictures of Lohan were put up in their group today and I figured I’d post them because I didn’t see them anywhere else. The event was called Music Loves Fashion and Steve Aoki and some dude named DJ Skeet Skeet were DJing. From the pics Paris Hilton and Lohan were both getting down and dirty, but that’s to be expected because they are party sluts….

I used to go to clubs and get drunk and be an asshole to people I knew. Maybe it was because they were landing hot girls and I was getting kicked out for passing out on the bathroom floor, but in my drunken stupor, I used to go around and tell girls my friends were trying to sleep with that my friend had Aids, they would get pissed off at me, but still go home with them, but would make them wear a condom

The next day I’d get the call saying how much of an asshole I was for fucking up their chances to have raw dog sex and I’d just say that I am a modern day superman because any bitch who goes home with a guy you tell her has AIDS is probably not the kind of girl you want to end up fucking without a condom….

Point of the story is that I save fucking lives and here are pics of Lohan destroying hers….I guess I coulda gone with the whole Paris and Lohan being the kind of girl you would end up baggin without a condom only to beat yourself up the next day for doing it and getting tested monthly for the next 3 years because of it, but I guess that woulda been too obvious for me to do…

PS – Since every blogger steals exclusive pics, I figured I’d watermark it my way, with a solid cumshot on every fuckin’ pic….admit it’s amazing.

Bonus Picture – Lohan at Coachella With Her Lesbian Lover via thecobrasnake

Related Posts:

I am – Lohan’s Partying in Pantyhose

I am – Lohan Drunk Partying

I am – Lohan Parties in Japan

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