I wish life was as easy for me as it was for this whore. She created a myspace from day one and hired some mexican/chinese computer virgins to add as many fucking friends as possible.

She reached over 1,000,000 friends and got a gig modeling for playboy or whatever the fucking whore did. She probably got paid to host parties and be useless because the promoters thought she’d land them a solid turn out. She probably got dudes to send her cash and she probably had some private meetings turning tricks in the back of the local laundry mat all while being a little person.

But none of that really matters. She can spend her days doing nothing, she has some kind of celebrity status, she has enough money to live and she did it all on the computer. Something that I have no ability to do.

Today I realized that Tila Tequila is smarter than me. Consider yourself lucky that you’re not a midget, and if you are, there is hope that men everywhere will jerk off to your myspace pics and add you as a friend too.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

This bitch Joanna Krupa is some kind of Russian model who I want to watch have sex. She’s got a hot body and looks good in a bikini. I don’t care if she bought her tits during the russian and if they are made out of potatoes and rationed bread. They could be Radioactive like the boars in Chernobyl and I’d still suck the milk out of them, that is if her plastic surgeon/general in the Russian Army didn’t fuck the pipes up when he was trying to wire her up with a bug to spy on your Americans.

I guess the point of all this is to say that I don’t really write harlequin type erotica and I just did and I think it was a real success. Now you can fuck off.

Bonus – Pics of her Bare Tits

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

This bitch Joanna Krupa is some kind of Russian model who I want to watch have sex. She’s got a hot body and looks good in a bikini. I don’t care if she bought her tits during the russian and if they are made out of potatoes and rationed bread. They could be Radioactive like the boars in Chernobyl and I’d still suck the milk out of them, that is if her plastic surgeon/general in the Russian Army didn’t fuck the pipes up when he was trying to wire her up with a bug to spy on your Americans.

I guess the point of all this is to say that I don’t really write harlequin type erotica and I just did and I think it was a real success. Now you can fuck off.

Bonus – Pics of her Bare Tits

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I am tired of hearing people call Fergie a tranny. I am sure I am guilty of doing it in the past too, because she is more muscular than me, but that’s not saying much because the fat dude on the motorized cart in Wal Mart is more muscular than me. This bitch dances like a fool all the fucking time and she’s probably replaced her meth addiction with working out. Her clit may be the size of a 2 year old’s cock, or my cock for that matter, but I am pretty fucking sure she’s a girl. She’s got a dress on and that’s good enough for me.

If I was in a bar and she came up to me offering a blowjob for some meth a few years ago, I would have accepted. But that’s not saying much because I have no standards.

What I do know is that the same joke on repeat is called beating the dead horse with your dick and although it may feel good, it’s going to give you Aids. So stop, she’s got a vagina, get over it.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I think working on the site from 4 am – 8 am while wasted was a bad idea. I couldn’t fall back to sleep and now I feel like I am dying.

Today, some chick who reads the site added me to IM and she spent the whole afternoon interrogating me about who I am, what I do, what my wife thinks of the site and where I met my wife. She asked about my impotency, criminal record, prostitute mother and whether it I am in love.

She wouldn’t tell me anything about her box, about what she does sexually, about whether she takes it up the ass or masturbates. She wouldn’t draw her vagina and describe it in 10 words or less and she wouldn’t send nude pics. The only thing she admitted was that she likes squirt porn and external vaginas.

She was trying to take from me without giving back and that upsets me.

When you’re done with that – check out my links…

I have no real standards, so if you want to get linked send me an email with your link HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Alyssa Milano is one of those bitches who you want to get with and you don’t even care that she is hairier than your dad. You probably would still try to get with her even if she had a dick and was your dad, but that’s just because you’re weird and take what you can get when it is offered because you never know when the next time another person will touch you again. Even the lady that works at your local drug store is scared to touch your hand when she gives you change, but you’ve never noticed that because you were too busy staring at her tits.

I guess she looks decent for a 45 year old, I haven’t seen many girls this age with such a tight body, but maybe it’s because she’s not really I girl. I have a distinct memory that she played the Tony Danza’s teenage son on Who’s the Boss, but those years were a long time ago and all a blur…

What is also a blur is whether there is a little lip slip in these pics, you be the judge, but for the record, I’m calling that it’s scrotum…

Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Jenny McCarthy is a useless slag, the kind of bitch you want to punch in the face, at least the kind of bitch I wanted to punch in the face when she had a sitcom and always yelled at me through my TV. I’d stare at her massive fake tits and remember a time when she knew how to tone shit down and seduce me in her playboy spreads but that fucking mouth of hers would always ruin it. Sometimes I’d put her on mute and take a strip of duct tape to try to block her out from the head up and for some reason that just broke my TV. I guess nothing’s really changed but at least she’s still got her tits.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Jenny McCarthy is a useless slag, the kind of bitch you want to punch in the face, at least the kind of bitch I wanted to punch in the face when she had a sitcom and always yelled at me through my TV. I’d stare at her massive fake tits and remember a time when she knew how to tone shit down and seduce me in her playboy spreads but that fucking mouth of hers would always ruin it. Sometimes I’d put her on mute and take a strip of duct tape to try to block her out from the head up and for some reason that just broke my TV. I guess nothing’s really changed but at least she’s still got her tits.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I realize my life hit an all time low when I forced myself to post these pictures of Mischa rockin’ a Jewish Outfit of the Day and trying to make it something it’s not.

She is in a pair of leggings and bending over and exposing her ugly ass, in a pair of leggings while walking her dog and hanging with my Mexican brother, who I can only assume is there to pick up her dog’s shit when it’s done, because she’s a racist…

Either way, this is a major fucking stretch for a celebrity upskirt, because her skirt really isn’t a really shirt and she’s got pants on. Her ass isn’t a real ass because it’s long and flat and has a dick.

Point of all this is to say that whenever I see a girl with her dog, I think about how lucky that dog is. Even if the girl who the dog belongs to is ugly. The reason the dog is lucky is that everyday he gets to see her box, he gets to see her change tampons and take a shit, he gets to see her fuck random men and masturbate using vegetables or whatever else bitch does that she probably doesn’t want anyone knowing about.

I remember my past life, when I was a dog, and I shat all over the place just to see my master get on all fours and clean it up. Sometimes I confuse bad trips with flashbacks from my past life as a dog and it’s likely that I was actually the one taking a shit all over the place and watching my wife clean it up, but who’s really even reading this to formulate any sort of opinion.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted