Uncategorized Archives - Page 256 of 420 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2006

03

Feb

Brokeback Mountain Not Gay

Anne Hathaway

Michelle Williams

All this hype about gay cowboys and Oscars and men kissing men, or men fucking men in cowboy hats and in tents is just hollywood hype. I saw the movie and I saw nothing gay about it…..Both guys were married, and here’s the proof that this movie is about Michelle William’s and The Princess Bride bitch’s tits, within a gay love story….I’m telling you, it’s a lot easier to get a bitch naked if you sell her on the fact that you are making “Art” not “Porn”. I don’t know why I am telling you my tricks….I guess it’s to prove my point that hollywood’s using my line too and that despite all the gayness, these guys were just friends, alone in the woods, with nothing better to do. They just thought they were gay, cuz they fucked each other one summer. If fucking a man for a summer made someone gay, I’d bet a lot of you would have a lot of explianing to do. Now look at the tits, Homos.

2006

02

Feb

Ginger Spice, Career Starts…Career Ends….

10 Comments »

Beginning

End

This one’s called Ginger in the Beginning and Ginger in the end. It’s a little commentary on how fast we age and how short life really is. In Geri’s useless mind, it feels like just last week when she was sitting there posing for some amateur photographer for a couple quid to pay for her flat and for her club kid drugs. Now bitch is old, washed up and is rockin a gunt. This slag’s rockin’ a carpet to cover up the fat.

I am not hating on Geri, I actually think she’s a very talented singer, and will be likely be performing on some resort for a tab at the bar and a room to sleep in, until her uterus drys up, falls out on stage and is sold on ebay, so Geri can afford estrogen therapy and a one room apartment, cuz no one wants a singer with no uterus.

2006

02

Feb

Hilary Duff Live in Concert

3 Comments »

My stepdaughter and her celebrity obsessed friends who think they are socialites went to the Hilary Duff concert here in Montreal. I don’t really understand why, because Hilary is a piece of shit performer, but worth a round cuz she’s young and has money, but I don’t think they were thinkin’ that when they went. They were too busy trying to touch her sweater, and by sweater I mean article of clothing, not her cooter.

The last time I flew, I was stuck on a plane that played her movie about bloggin’, it really hit close to home, not cuz I have a blog but because I had to move around a lot as a child.

Here are the 2 useless pics they brought back to me. I clearly asked for an autograph made out to “jesus martinez, my drunkenstepfather, love Hilary”, that reminds me, if any of you fuckers know famous ppl get autographs for me. I am going to start a celeb autograph section on the site, but considering I never leave the house, you are going to have to help me.

Posted in:Concert|Hilary Duff|Teen|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

02

Feb

Penelope Cruz Yellow Bikini

3 Comments »

I like when the Paparazzi take pictures of celebrities on the beach, during their vacations. They deserve it, considering an Actor’s life is a fuckin’ vacation. Try working in a factory you motherfuckers, an entire life to just pay the fuckin’ rent, while you sip your cocktails, play on your cell phones and order around some local slave you hired. Point of the story is I like that Penelope’s boyfriend dresses like he’s homeless and is still recognized as one of people’s most beautiful people. If you’re wondering why I know that, my fat wife like to read magazines and recite the whole motherfucker to me when I am cornered, and forced to talk to her. Either way, here are some of the bikini pics all the loser celebrity bloggers will be posting, remember you got it here first. I am watching phone sex infomercials. My life is fucking complete. Fuck you.

2006

02

Feb

St Tropez Tits

3 Comments »

Kylie Minogue

Elle McPherson

There’s something really sexy about France. Everytime I hear a french word I get a little tingle. I am not a well travelled man, I’ve been to a handful of places, and I am not here to discuss my pathetic life, I am here to say that in St Tropez which is in the South of France according to google, bitches go topless. Lucky for you these pics are topless pics of semi-famous bitches. Now Kylie still has tits and hair so I am not sure how recent these are, but the McPherson pics look new. Bitch is gettin’ thick, like a nice pair of wool socks. The irony of this picture is that bitch is washing her cooch, she’s in france, french bitches don’t know what washing means, all they know is cheese, bread, wine and pubic hair. I fuckin’ love pubic hair. I know this post was just a waste of your time, probably a lot of time to some of my semi-literate readers, who mulled over this for 45 minutes, just realize I woke up with a wheeze, and think I may be dying. Cuddles.

2006

01

Feb

DrunkenStepfather Interview

No Comments »

I was approached by a local montreal website to do an interview. I have never done an interview and I hate reading the shit that I said after the fact, kinda like those celebrities who never watch their own movies cuz it makes them feel all shy and embarassed and shit. When they are interviewed they say shit like “I hate seeing myself on camera” and giggle, well, I would say that’s why I didn’t read the interview, but reality is I am way too lazy. There are a lot of fucking words, and I figure if they came from me, they can’t be too interesting. I have a feeling that this motherfucker only interviewed me to get linked on my site, joke’s on him, I only have one reader and it’s you.

Here’s a quote from the interview, cuz quoting myself is sexy.

I heard about your website awhile back, on it you mentioned to me while you that had a bunch of stepchildren. Being a proud parent, do you have any advice for young people raising their children? What’s it like having to pick up where a lousy parent left off?

I don’t raise them, I just help them shower and drive them to swim practice.

READ THE INTERVIEW HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized

2006

01

Feb

Lisa Loeb Bra

19 Comments »

If you scroll down the page about 3 posts you willl see pictures of Lisa Loeb in her thong. I already said all I had to say about her, other than tease her for wearing glasses and having small tits, that’s right 4-eyes 2 x 4, why don’t you keep your fucking tits in your shirt. I take that back, I want my life to be like an episode of girls gone wild, I’m talking getting flashed everywhere I go, like the bank, in church and by the kids at the daycare I volunteer at. That would be hot.

Posted in:Boobs|Bra|Lisa Loeb|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

31

Jan

Christina Aguilera Vintage Porn

12 Comments »

Picture 3.jpg Picture 2.jpg Picture 11.jpg

I am planning on doing somet 1920’s themed things, I haven’t figured out what those things will be, but I watched the whole season of Carnivale, I love vintage porn/eroticism/burlesque and I like Agent Provocateur lingerie. There’s nothing funny about my fetish, other than the fact that when I was a kid I used to jerk off to pics of my grandmother and my mother in vintage style lingerie. To most, jerking off to your mom or your grandmother is wrong, but whatever dude, I am mexican, I call it limited fucking resources.

I came across this Christina Aguilera video made to look like vintage erotica, and bitch looks hot. I have no idea if this is a music video because my computer is on mute, but I have watched in 3 times. I am in love.

Watch the Video Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

31

Jan

Buckcherry Video

1 Comment »

I am not sure if this song is any good. I watched the video on mute. I am at the library and I don’t have headphones. If you are wondering why I am at the library, it’s because I am reading medical journals, this motherfucker is going to be a doctor one day, well maybe not, but I like looking at technical drawings of genitals. That’s not the point, the point is that this band may or may not be very good, but their video has stripper lookin’ bitches dancing around all topless and on the pole and shit. The rumor is they were casted from Myspace, which is obviously the best place to find sluts craving attention and I support am okay with giving the girls in this video because they show nipple. I also support any band who has a video with girls in their underwear/naked, because I am a pervert, so I thought I’d share it with you, since you are probably a pervert too. Enjoy.

Watch The Video Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

31

Jan

Lisa Loeb in a Thong

1 Comment »

Remember Lisa Loeb, I do. It was the mid-’90s and I was doing what I always did, rockin’ out to Nirvana and other grunge bands, until a cute little girl in glasses enters the scene with her guitar. She changed all of our lives, we went from fucking bitches with tattoos to ones with glasses overnight, at least I did, and it wasn’t by choice, my girlfriend got knocked up, with what I thought was my baby, until he came out retarded. I told the bitch there was no way I can create a retard baby and showed her and her butterfly tattooed ass the door. I guess the whole point of the story is that only sluts wore thongs in the mid -’90s, I bet money Lisa was granny panty all the way, cuz that’s just the image she portrayed, a wholesome girl who was a minx int he bedroom. Either way, she’s in a thong now, so let all your childhood memories, expell all over your belly (if you get off on shitty images of a bitch in glasses, that is.) Yeah, it’s still 5 am. I need sleep. Cuddles. Oh and for the record, these are from her new reality TV show. Some Jesus-evangalist shit is on TV right now that’s the shit where they try to convert insomniacs, cuz we are too cloudy brained to make rational decisions…well I am not gonna let them.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

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