Uncategorized Archives - Page 255 of 420 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2006

20

Feb

Marriage Contract of the Day

This dude in some redneck waste of space state has revolutionized marriage. The only problem is that motherfucker got busted. I’m guessing it’s not legal to make your wife sign a contract stating she will shave her cooch every three days, from belly button to anus, with permissions to leave a 3 inch by 1 inch patch of hair, which will be inspected every three days. The other funny clause is that every night the wife has to commit 3 hours of husband time where it is all about the husband and she will have to do everything he asks, sexually. Jokes aside this guy is obviously fucking psycho, pure OCD, probably a gamer. I am just wondering how he found a wife in that he could do this to in the first place, because from my experience bitches don’t like crazies…..unless they are fat, and that’s because they can’t find anyone else and are lonely.

If I had a clause with my fat wife, it would be that she kills herself on her 40th birthday. I don’t think it’s that bad, she’s fat and is going to have a shit load of health problems in the years to come, and I can’t divorce her, because I will get deported.

Read Story/See Contract Here

Posted in:marriage|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Bathroom Writing of the Day

11 Comments »

I am taking pictures of shit I see drawn on bathroom walls that make me laugh. This one made me laugh.

Related Articles

I am – Street Art of the Day

Posted in:Bathroom|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Kid Rock's Sex Tape

2 Comments »

In typical white trash celebrity behavior, the Kid Rock Sex Tape has finally surfaced. I don’t mean that in a good way, because I have not been sitting here dick in hand waiting for the Kid Rock tapes, I just figured he was one of the low class rockstars who loves strippers, fake titties and fucks disgusting bitches. It was kinda made obvious when fucking Pam Anderson’s Hep Pussy.

I like strippers too, but only to look at, if I was in Kid Rock’s position, I wouldn’t invite the sluts back to my trailer, I’d invite the overwhelmed 18 year old who’s never done anything like this before, but sice she loves my music so much, she get a little while. I guess breaking girls in is a lot hotter to me than getting AIDS from the town whore of every town I go through.

I think that’s why porn bores me, I don’t want trashy sloppy thousands, most girls fuck the same, and I am not convinced that a stripper looking girl with 4 kids is any better than someone who’s vagina is still internal.

The lesson of the day is that the more money you have, the easier it is too land orgies with your loser buddy who is the lead singer of creed. HI-FIVE motherfucker, not only are you famous and rich, but the whole world’s gonna see your cooter.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Watch Trailer/ 45 Second Clip Here
Read Article Here(AVN)

Posted in:kid rock|Sex|Sex Tape|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Kid Rock’s Sex Tape

3 Comments »

In typical white trash celebrity behavior, the Kid Rock Sex Tape has finally surfaced. I don’t mean that in a good way, because I have not been sitting here dick in hand waiting for the Kid Rock tapes, I just figured he was one of the low class rockstars who loves strippers, fake titties and fucks disgusting bitches. It was kinda made obvious when fucking Pam Anderson’s Hep Pussy.

I like strippers too, but only to look at, if I was in Kid Rock’s position, I wouldn’t invite the sluts back to my trailer, I’d invite the overwhelmed 18 year old who’s never done anything like this before, but sice she loves my music so much, she get a little while. I guess breaking girls in is a lot hotter to me than getting AIDS from the town whore of every town I go through.

I think that’s why porn bores me, I don’t want trashy sloppy thousands, most girls fuck the same, and I am not convinced that a stripper looking girl with 4 kids is any better than someone who’s vagina is still internal.

The lesson of the day is that the more money you have, the easier it is too land orgies with your loser buddy who is the lead singer of creed. HI-FIVE motherfucker, not only are you famous and rich, but the whole world’s gonna see your cooter.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Watch Trailer/ 45 Second Clip Here
Read Article Here(AVN)

Posted in:kid rock|Sex|Sex Tape|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Pheromone Challenge Update

6 Comments »

I have 2 submissions that I am going to be putting into this one post cuz…that’s just how things work out when you are lazy, in pain, and not in the mood to be on the computer. I just sneezed and feel like I ruptured my heart. One is from a guy I know named Steve and the other is some random submission.

Entry 1: The Hipster’s Night Out.

Jesus you fat lazy fuck,

I was bored last week and decided to take you up on your bullshit pheromone challenge. I figured why not support your dirty ass, maybe make you some money to get your stepdaughter implants, so she can be a stripper or a bigger whore that she already is. Get her working for you, maybe you’ll finally make enough money to buy a new pair of sweat pants.

I have no problem getting laid. Some girls find me hot, and those are the girls I fuck. I have no game and that’s my game, meaning I rarely hit up the randoms. I didn’t believe this shit worked before you told me to try it and I still am not fully convinced, but I sprayed that shit on and the next thing I know girls I’ve never met start chatting me up.

I got pics of me making out with a couple of them. These girls approached me and next thing you know we’re making out. It was pretty fuckin’ weird that it happened to be the night I tested pherlure. Girls hardly ever come on to me.

I ended up getting a girl I’ve known for a while to come home with me. I’d been after her for the last 3 years, but she always had a bf, and never showed interest. I was always the “Gay Friend” to her. But for some fucked up reason she couldn’t get enough of me. I took her home for a pretty solid session. Sorry no pics of her.

So maybe Pherlure works, but it could have all been a coincidence too, who knows, but I do know it was a retarded night.

I didn’t use a condom when I got with the girl I’ve always wanted, so indirectly you may have given me AIDS. Asshole. I don’t care if you post these. I want you to make me famous, bitch.

Steve

Entry 2: Some Guy Who Thinks I speak Spanish

Pinche jesus no te hagas el guey, here’s a little photo to further prove that pherlure works. her boyfriend was standing about 5ft behind us, good times…

benito camela

sorry the photo is so grainy my friend took it w/ my camera phone

Join us on this challenge, be sure to send pics/video, for me to post. Because I will make you famous, bitch.

Buy your own pherlure

Related Articles:

I am – Pheromone Challenge Update of the Day
I am – Another Pheromone Update
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 5
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 4
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 3
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 2
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 1
I am – Pheromone Spray

Posted in:pheromone|stepPHEROMONECHALLENGE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

15

Feb

Lara Croft

6 Comments »

Lara Croft is some bitch in a videogame, I don’t play videogames. I find them fucking lame. Even if I did like videogames, which I don’t, I wouldn’t be able to afford one. I know you, my only reader, think videogames are cool, but you also lost your virginity to a home made vagina. Anyway, if you like big tits on a bitch with short shorts and a gun, or videogames, or Lara Croft, Click HERE

Also DoubleViking.com set up a radio station. Listen to it here, it ain’t that good.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

06

Feb

Sex in the Bar Bathroom of the Day

No Comments »

Posted in:Uncategorized

2006

04

Feb

Jenna Riding the Sybian on Howard Stern

2 Comments »

There’s nothing too shocking about Jenna riding a sybian, most of us have seen her riding a whole lot of other things. She has become the trophy spokesperson for porn. She made people think that pornstars have it all together, living a life of glamour and fame when in reality, we all know they are just insecure teenage runaways with addiction and self-hatred.

So bitch is rich…but she did it getting fucked. Anyone with a vagina can do the same thing, it takes zero talent. Her pussy’s still ravaged and she’s been stuffed by so many dudes that her vagina probably speaks its own language. These are pictures of Jenna riding a Sybian on Stern’s show. I haven’t heard his show, I did see his movie. Having bitches cum on radio is kinda useless, I’d rather hear them talk politics.

Her Audio in Second Half of this Link

2006

04

Feb

Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini

1 Comment »

There was a desperate seeking of her nipple, that was really just a shadow. It’s been established that everyone is obsessed with her boobs, because they look so big on her small frame. Now we have some bikini candids for you to check out. I am pretty indifferent about this one, because it is saturday, I am hung over and the only channel I have is playing “That 70’s Show”. It’s the episode where Kelso thinks he’s Travolta, and I want to kill myself. I also never really saw the Love Hewitt appeal, she has a big head and the one channel I have also plays ghostwhisperer, which was on last night, and made me want to kill myself. So if you’re feeling all done on your luck, like me, look at Love Hewitt, if she’s a bitch you wanna get with, and hopefully it will bring some joy to your life. My life is about making your life better.

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Love Hewitt|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

04

Feb

Neve Campbell Bikini Slash Gross Underwear

No Comments »

John Cusack looks like a fuckin’ cowboy, who just rolled into town, spend the night pooning whores, playing poker, and drinkin’ whiskey, hasn’t showered in weeks. The reason I say that is not cuz of his haggard dirty, whore fucking look, it’s the fact that he’s swimming in what looks like 19th century long johns. I am sure they had some 19th century name for long underwear, but I am too lazy to look it up right now, it is 5 am on friday fucker. Anyway, Neve doesn’t look like any whore I’d be paying to get inside if I was from the same western town as Cusack, but I guess there’s a market for everyone. Hell, I am sure some of you cunts would sleep with this bitch. You know what? I am not gonna judge you right now. I guess when your career washes ashore like the waves beneath your feet, buying yourself a nice bathing suit is a non-issue, you fuckin’ slob. I felt that was very poetic.

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