Unsorted Archives - Page 179 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

15

Mar

I am – Caprice’s Box of the Day

See, I am capable of making shitty blogger jokes too. I don’t always have to write paragraphs of stories and observations to bore you with. I hope you are happy people who have been complaining about my posts being too long. If you missed the joke, the title of this post is called Caprice’s Box. I remember when this slut was a hot fucking number. Her tits would be in every celebrities nude website I could get my hand on and I have to admit when times were tough I resorted to jerking off to her. It wasn’t really jerking off, it was more like raping myself, because my mind screamed no but my hand just went where it wanted. I don’t get boners anymore, so were cool. The closest thing I get to raping myself is when I shove my wives rolled quarters in my ass to smuggle them out of the house to buy cigars. Yes. I steal from my wife. Fuck you for judgin’ me…Asshole.

Posted in:Caprice|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Taryn Manning's Bra of the Day

1 Comment »

The day I realized stepSTEVE was gay wasn’t when he changed his name to Stephen James, but when he was living on my couch and told me he found this bitch hot. I had never really heard of her because I have a short attention span and I am bad with names, but after doing a google image search I wouldn’t let him live this one down. I am the kind of guy who lacks creativity so if you give me one thing like telling me Taryn Manning is a hot celeb, or that you once experimented with your best friend when you were 13 at a sleepover, or that you once got caught jerking off in your mom’s bed with her panties on her face, I am going to keep throwin that shit at you…

Speaking of throwing shit our way, here is Taryn Manning’s bra or undershirt or some kind of layer of clothes between her tits and her sweater to get you through your shitty day. If you don’t remember who stepSTEVE is, he’s in most of my stepTV clips before her ditched me for dreams of playing bass. Now’s when you drop a joke about her lookin’ like a man and her name being manning cuz you are clever like that.

All this to say, at least she’s got whore boots on, because any girl with whore boots on, hot or not, is a girl for me…even if she looks like a tranny.

Posted in:Taryn Manning|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Taryn Manning’s Bra of the Day

1 Comment »

The day I realized stepSTEVE was gay wasn’t when he changed his name to Stephen James, but when he was living on my couch and told me he found this bitch hot. I had never really heard of her because I have a short attention span and I am bad with names, but after doing a google image search I wouldn’t let him live this one down. I am the kind of guy who lacks creativity so if you give me one thing like telling me Taryn Manning is a hot celeb, or that you once experimented with your best friend when you were 13 at a sleepover, or that you once got caught jerking off in your mom’s bed with her panties on her face, I am going to keep throwin that shit at you…

Speaking of throwing shit our way, here is Taryn Manning’s bra or undershirt or some kind of layer of clothes between her tits and her sweater to get you through your shitty day. If you don’t remember who stepSTEVE is, he’s in most of my stepTV clips before her ditched me for dreams of playing bass. Now’s when you drop a joke about her lookin’ like a man and her name being manning cuz you are clever like that.

All this to say, at least she’s got whore boots on, because any girl with whore boots on, hot or not, is a girl for me…even if she looks like a tranny.

Posted in:Taryn Manning|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – America's Next Top Models are Naked of the Day

3 Comments »

My stepdaughter is all up on this America’s Next Top model shit and so is every fag I come across in my day who says that shit is “Fierce”. I have never seen it because I don’t have a TV but I did have these pics from tonight’s show sent to me and they are naked and covered in candy, making it bass my loose editorial standards and getting a post of it’s very own….The thing that fascinates me most about these pics is that the 2 fatties on the show didn’t emotionally eat all the candy between shoots, I am guessing all the pressure of being naked on TV is enough to make them quit eating….

I was on my nightly walk to get away from the smell of my wife’s dirty laundry and came across a group of spring breakers who were obviously from Boston, cuz Montreal is where those fuckers come to drink underage and experience their first strip show. Anyway, the 4 chicks were a little more that plus sized and were rockin’ evening gowns like they were Paris Hilton going to Mr Chongs or whatever the fuck that LA hotspot is. While walking behind them all I could see was their pantyhose covered ass cheeks peaking out o their dresses and I thought of you. You would have totally fucked these whores and they would have let you, I guess part of your virginity comes with the fact that you are too scared to leave your house. I call that a lost opportunity….but at least you were on my mind…

Posted in:ANTM|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – America’s Next Top Models are Naked of the Day

3 Comments »

My stepdaughter is all up on this America’s Next Top model shit and so is every fag I come across in my day who says that shit is “Fierce”. I have never seen it because I don’t have a TV but I did have these pics from tonight’s show sent to me and they are naked and covered in candy, making it bass my loose editorial standards and getting a post of it’s very own….The thing that fascinates me most about these pics is that the 2 fatties on the show didn’t emotionally eat all the candy between shoots, I am guessing all the pressure of being naked on TV is enough to make them quit eating….

I was on my nightly walk to get away from the smell of my wife’s dirty laundry and came across a group of spring breakers who were obviously from Boston, cuz Montreal is where those fuckers come to drink underage and experience their first strip show. Anyway, the 4 chicks were a little more that plus sized and were rockin’ evening gowns like they were Paris Hilton going to Mr Chongs or whatever the fuck that LA hotspot is. While walking behind them all I could see was their pantyhose covered ass cheeks peaking out o their dresses and I thought of you. You would have totally fucked these whores and they would have let you, I guess part of your virginity comes with the fact that you are too scared to leave your house. I call that a lost opportunity….but at least you were on my mind…

Posted in:ANTM|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Uma Gets Wet of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s some fetish shit, not because Uma is really all that hot, even if she’s got massive tits, but because she’s got a hose and is hosing herself down. It’s like watching a girl playing in the garden and jumping through the sprinklers on a hot summer day, and by girl I mean someone over 18, I am not into the whole pedophile shit. I never really understood why a dude could sit in a park watching kids play and like it more than he should but that’s really not the point, the point is that this shit is bringing back memories of when I worked at a gas station that hosted a car wash for the local college. All the bitches started off the day in their regular everyday car wash clothes and ended up in their bikinis hosing themselves down. I would say it changed my life for the better but in reality that day got me fired because I kept trying to get them to show me their tits and one of them filed a complaint about me to my manager. It was a good run and worth getting fired over because it was one of those things I probably could never forgive myself for not trying…

I was in a pizza place for some late night eats and 2 jewish kids came in after partying and kept talking about how they should have asked for the bitches they were picking ups’ number but didn’t. They will never see her again and their reward of the night is the chance to jerk off to the thought that they had picked them up, but if they lived my way, they may have got fired but at least they knew there was no fucking chance.

All this to say that Uma may not be a college chick in a bikini, but at least she’s trying…

Posted in:Uma Thurman|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Throwback Drew Barrymore Tit Flash of the Day

11 Comments »

Drew Barrymore was only hot in once in her career and unfortunately that movie was E.T. and it dropped in 1980. Since then it has only been downhill for this piece of shit, but for some reason she keeps getting work like she was someone we’d want to see on screen.

Speaking of being something I want to see, I went to a strip club last Spring Break and a group of chicks from Boston convinced the DJ to let them do an amateur strip show. I was something that changed my fucking life, because seeing a girl who can barely dance and who has really only been naked at every frat party for the last 2 years flashing the whole fucking bar and getting off to made for a good time. I have gone back, week after week, hoping to witness it again but it hasn’t happened, but Tomorrow night my be a pivotal day in witnessing it all over again because the 19 year old drunk chicks are back in town motherfuckers…

Either way, here are pics of Drew and Her New Boyfriend Spike Jonze, Who Is Obviously a Fag or Into Bitches Who Look Like they Were Hit By a Bus and have clits that are bigger than most dicks but their fat lips keep shit locked in place better than duct tape:

Posted in:Drew Barrymore|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Ashley Scott's Panties of the Day

No Comments »

I can’t believe my life has come to looking for pantylines on bitches I have never heard of to post for 15 people while trying to write something worth writing, but then I realize that I really have nothing better to do with my time, so I guess it all works out. I also realize that nothing I write is worth reading so I could drop some shit how I can’t believe that me finding pantylines on bitches I don’t know is actually the highlight of my day because Wednesdays is wash my wife day. It takes about 3 hours to scrub her down, she has a pretty extensive surface area and maneuvering herself in and out of the top and reaching all the hard to reach areas that you’d rather not reach s something that you have no choice but to do otherwise infection will set in but at least it has disgusted you and ruined this image you wish you could maintain of a woman being something you want to explore from head to toe, but after experiencing this shit once you never really found that feeling again…and now that you have been doing this for 3 years strong, it’s pretty much killed every male instinct you once had, so all of a sudden, lookin’ for pantlines ain’t all that bad after all. Enjoy.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Ashley Scott’s Panties of the Day

3 Comments »

I can’t believe my life has come to looking for pantylines on bitches I have never heard of to post for 15 people while trying to write something worth writing, but then I realize that I really have nothing better to do with my time, so I guess it all works out. I also realize that nothing I write is worth reading so I could drop some shit how I can’t believe that me finding pantylines on bitches I don’t know is actually the highlight of my day because Wednesdays is wash my wife day. It takes about 3 hours to scrub her down, she has a pretty extensive surface area and maneuvering herself in and out of the top and reaching all the hard to reach areas that you’d rather not reach s something that you have no choice but to do otherwise infection will set in but at least it has disgusted you and ruined this image you wish you could maintain of a woman being something you want to explore from head to toe, but after experiencing this shit once you never really found that feeling again…and now that you have been doing this for 3 years strong, it’s pretty much killed every male instinct you once had, so all of a sudden, lookin’ for pantlines ain’t all that bad after all. Enjoy.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Madonna's Nipple of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Madonna’s massive tits that I am totally digging even though washed up whores aren’t really my thing, even though most of my 20s were spent bagging washed up whores, but it was different because they were real whores, with real addiction which made them all the more appealing than some plastic multi-millionaire, but I can appreciate a good set of tits as much as the next guy, except for the boner part, but let’s get real here, who the fuck gets hard to pic of a bitch in a gown anyway….even when I was 15 and a virgin I needed shit to be a little more hardcore than this and that is why I used to peep on my fat foster sister while she rode her exercise bike in a pair of spandex bicycle shorts that were gayer than DJ AM.

Posted in:Madonna|Unsorted

Archive for the Unsorted Category