Kelly Brook has a pretty slamming body, and in these pics you can see up her skirt. Looking up a girls skirt is something I do pretty well and like doing. There have been times that I have been in clubs, seated in a sunken tub-type seat when all around me were women on bar stools, back when mini skirts were everywhere. Anyway, that night I drank a lot and saw at least three rockin’ vaginas, one of which was a full coinslot and bald. I know my story sucked, but I have more. I was at another club one night, where the VIP Room was a balcony that overlooks the mainfloor….I couldn’t get upstairs because it was VIP and I am never VIP, but spent the night under the balcony lookin up, girls knew what i was doing cuz I was pointing and laughing, but they kept on going…My last upskirt story takes place at the bottom of the escallator of the local mall, where I’d spend weeks upon weeks seated at the bench watching girls go up. I’d only get a few panty shots, but those few shots made my day worth it, I was on welfare with little else to do. When I was working as a Valet, I’d open the door for women all the time with my eyes in one place, and place was the babyhole….I also used to look up skirts when I worked at the local little league ballpark as a hot dog vendor and I’d often take breaks under the bleachers with a bottle of mustard and some napkins…..Point of this post is that lookin’ upskirts is creepy, and all your fuckers zooming in to get a better look at her pussy make me sick, but the kind of panties a girl wears is something that I like to know…so girls send in pics….With love, Jesus

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Kate Moss has a daughter named Lila. Kate Moss is a drug addict. Kate Moss probably didn’t quit smoking, drinking or blow while pregnant because drug addicts usually don’t. I know because my mother was a drug addict, an alcoholic and a whore back in Mexico in the ’70s, she didn’t stop when pregnant with me, in fact she didn’t even know she was pregnant with me until one night, while getting fucked by some American business man in town from a San Diego conference, she felt something fall out of her pussy and onto his dick, it was the placenta. If you are wondering, she had left me in toilet while preppin’ for the job too drunk to even notice cutting the umbilical cord or the fact that she had had a baby… the business man wasn’t so impressed, but he still finished off but didn’t pay her and she hated me from that point on for making her lose 15 dollars. I was lucky enough to inherit her addictive personality and the cold sores. Thanks Mom.

I was watching some show about how kids who eat candy are just like little crackwhores, you know spending their last penny on a fuckin’ bonbon for that sugar high, suckin’ dick in the playground or in some molesters van for promises of a lollipop. Well Kate Moss’ daughter is addicted to juice now and it’s obvious this shit’s only going to get worse. Next step will be sugar coated cereal, Tony the Tiger is right, they are fucking great and they ruined my fucking life, and by the time bitch is 17 she’ll be injecting heroin in some back alley abortion clinic or doing yay with her mom off Versace’s Tombstone… but the point of the post is not about addiction, it’s about Kate Moss and how the hell she got a baby to pass through her birth canal, she’s only 90 pounds, I am guessing she has a really big vagina. Cuddles.

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Kate Moss has a daughter named Lila. Kate Moss is a drug addict. Kate Moss probably didn’t quit smoking, drinking or blow while pregnant because drug addicts usually don’t. I know because my mother was a drug addict, an alcoholic and a whore back in Mexico in the ’70s, she didn’t stop when pregnant with me, in fact she didn’t even know she was pregnant with me until one night, while getting fucked by some American business man in town from a San Diego conference, she felt something fall out of her pussy and onto his dick, it was the placenta. If you are wondering, she had left me in toilet while preppin’ for the job too drunk to even notice cutting the umbilical cord or the fact that she had had a baby… the business man wasn’t so impressed, but he still finished off but didn’t pay her and she hated me from that point on for making her lose 15 dollars. I was lucky enough to inherit her addictive personality and the cold sores. Thanks Mom.

I was watching some show about how kids who eat candy are just like little crackwhores, you know spending their last penny on a fuckin’ bonbon for that sugar high, suckin’ dick in the playground or in some molesters van for promises of a lollipop. Well Kate Moss’ daughter is addicted to juice now and it’s obvious this shit’s only going to get worse. Next step will be sugar coated cereal, Tony the Tiger is right, they are fucking great and they ruined my fucking life, and by the time bitch is 17 she’ll be injecting heroin in some back alley abortion clinic or doing yay with her mom off Versace’s Tombstone… but the point of the post is not about addiction, it’s about Kate Moss and how the hell she got a baby to pass through her birth canal, she’s only 90 pounds, I am guessing she has a really big vagina. Cuddles.

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She plays Meadow on the Sopranos and since the guy who plays Artie Bucco was busted for possession of Cocaine today, I figured it’s a good time to do a Meadow post. That’s actually not at all the reason I am posting this, but I did hear about Artie on Live with Regis this morning, before Kelly got into a tank of water with David Blaine, so it all fits in nicely, much like Kelly’s wet suit. I guess fate is on my fucking side…thanks Artic Bucco and your addiction for making this all make sense.

Point of this post is to say that girls are a lot more into touching each other than guys are. I never gently rub my friend’s back while walking together, but that’s probably because I don’t have any friends, but if I did have friends, I wouldn’t be rubbin on them, unless they were paying, but that’s only because everyone’s got a price, mine’s just a lot less than most self-respecting people…when I see girls run into each other, they all kiss up on each other and when their husbands leave them for being sluts they all cry in each other’s arms….the only time guys touch each other when they aren’t homo is when they are jocks and they suck each other’s dicks in the locker room, but that’s not gay, it’s for the team, you just don’t understand, now let’s go fuck some bitches…..

Bonus (not really):

This is a picture that was taken by one of my photographers. He wrote this email to me. It made me laugh.

Jesus,

I went out with the camera last weekend, and some guy wanted me to take a shot of his neck tattoo for the internet – it says “White Trash”. I said fine because I take pics of everything, especially hot naked women (when they let me or when you finally give me a fuckin’ budget). Anyway, his friend who is a bit of a hip hop looking thug jumps in, all excited and shit and says “want a pic of us making out”, well this pic is the result of what happened. They both said that it was funny because they weren’t gay and that it was just for jokes, and laugh we did, over a couple of martinis and each other’s penises in each other’s mouths of course….Here’s the pic, they said I could post it.

PEACE OUT

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Rachel Stevens wears a maternity dress to the beach because she’s obviously pregnant with Screech’s baby, that’s why they are all close and cuddling, but where the fuck is Mr. Belding. That was my shitty “Saved by the Bell” joke that I didn’t find funny, so you shouldn’t either, but I am not going to erase it cuz I am lazy. I would have said that she is rockin’ a full length dress to the beach because she is from England, and people from England are scared of the sun, but I used to watch SClub7, and bitch was in a bikini every episode…I remember goin to the internet to see if my fantasies of Rachel were illegal, which they weren’t, she was 24 in the show…a total disappointment, anyway she is now older and more washed up while drinkin and smokin and straight west coasting with some clown is really not the future I wished for…I was bankin’ on her getting her on all fours in my sex dungeon…but I never got around to building it.

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Who the fuck is this Joss Stone bitch, and where does she get the nerve to run around like some common whore in her bikini. She isn’t fat but she looks like she’s a little out of proportion, and not because of her small tits, but because of her round belly. It reminds me of when I used to have a serious girlfriend in my 20s. This was a long time before I was married to my fat slob of a wife. Anyway, this serious girlfriend of mine started getting comfortable in the relationship , she started getting comfortable in the relationship and gained a solid 25 lbs in the first 6 months. I used to be a nice guy and would casually suggest we go for “walks” to try and get her to do a little activity….when bitch would try to order the french fries, I’d order the salad, which is pretty fucked up being a fat man….anyway, she never really caught on so one night when I was “trying” to fuck her, I looked down at the cellulite ridden ass I didn’t sign up for and kicked her out. Just like that…. I ran into her about 5 years later and her body was banging, I’d like to pat myself on the back for giving her a complex. Anyway, here’s some Joss Stone Bikini pics.

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I am not a woman, and although my penis is very vagina-like, my fat thighs prevent my stretch pants from riding all up into my fleshy mound. Fortunately, that’s not the case for Jessica Simpson, she is out and about lookin’ like trash with a pair of yoga pants that are trying to knock her up, you know, crawling all up into her womb and trying making yoga pant babies with her. This goes to show you that no matter how rank the bitch looks on a given day, somebody or something’s trying to get up in it.

It reminds me of the year I only fucked the bar scraps, you know the gross bitches that go out to get laid but always end up lingering after last call because they are too disgusting for even the most desperate to fuck….well I always heard stories about the guys who would end up taking these nasty things home, and I had decided that I wanted to be one of those guys. I guess the lesson I learned is that no matter how gross, scabbed, acned-up, cellulite ridden a bitch is, she’s still got a mouth and a pussy….Every hole is a goal….

Bonus:

Our Step-StreetTeam sent in this pic of their barmaid’s camel toe. It didn’t turn out that well but still very sexy, or not.

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