DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

02

Dec

Weed Wednesday of the Day

It’s Weed Wednesday, even if everyday is for smoking that good good….you know twist one up, spark it up, BUN A TING, have a little SESH….yo, let’s blaze….get LIT LIKE A CHRISTMAS tree….I don’t know what people call smoking weed, I am just a weed ambassador because the Government shouldn’t control what you put in your own damn body, especially a plant that you can all grow in your fucking backyard with zero fucking effort, because of this wild and crazy thing called NATURE.

I OBVIOUSLY am an Alcoholic, it’s genetic and I don’t subscribe to it being a disease, if anything it’s a pleasant blessing that makes lifer more tolerable, and I know alocholism will kill me….

But that doesn’t mean I don’t think weed is great, healthier, beneficial, and that is why I am here to celebrate all these WEED INFLUENCERS getting naughty and naked, because even if they look like they are a MUNCHY…not that they get munchies…but are a fucking MUNCHY…I know they are fighting the good fighting trying to get famous in their weirdo weed niche….

I don’t understand the excitement for weed at this level of it not just being something you do, but rather something you incorporate into your content, it’s just fucking weed, not a new TESLA…but they’re lewd and nude and I’m into it.

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Posted in:Weed

2020

02

Dec

Sofia Richie Bikini of the Day

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Lionel’s actual daughter, who we hope gets Nicole written out of the Lionel will, even though she’s already milked the Richie name harder than an actual Richie, because adopted people are all fucked up in their head….

Sofia, the rich kid with everything, who decided to become a social media influencer to rip brands off with her crazy social media post rate, because get that money when you can, even when you already have unlimited spending ability….I guess it’s a fun game against the shitty entitled rich kids of LA to see who can rich BILLIONAIRE status first….you know just because they can….not because they need it…I mean girl has been flying private since birth…her dad is LIONEL richie..

Anyway, she’s removed herself as a cast member on the Kardashians, playing the 20 year old stepmom to one of their rodents. I assume it was just a marketing initiative the Kardashian ad agency put together because that’s how money grubbing works. If they cast a handful of slutty rich LA kids they know and make them part of their roster, it’s a win for everyone….so that’s been Sofia’s college, her deep contribution to the world, be a vapid rich kid, people like watching that…especially when in a bikini..

I’m not hating, she looks good to me!

Posted in:Sofia Richie

2020

02

Dec

Emma Kenney Sports Bra Titty Bounce of the Day

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Emma Kenney isn’t the hottest out there, but she’s a fucking hero to me….

I’ve always made fun of celebs, called them ugly fat whores, and tried to be as terrible as I could to those elitist rich snobby cunts….but in life, I have no standards, the kind of guy who will fuck anything if it’s under 20 dollars…because that’s the way life goes….so I can handle hyping up an ugly girl, it’s part of the no standards overly excited by making due with what you’ve got….

The reason she’s a hero to me is because Emmy Rossum is the worst overrated piece of shit who thinks she’s hotter than she is. Likely a rich kid, her aunt or cousin is Vera Wang, so she took her unappreciative, entitled, cocky ass to her producers, demanded William H Macy money, despite him being a fucking star from the movies who took a risk on the Shameless show they were on together, one of those thinks she’s more important than she is….so they wrote her off and it was amazing…and this one is her stand in…

So my goal is to get you all hyped on her big tits she likes to show off, to make Shameless a hit with Emmy Rossum, so they don’t ever bother writing that cunt back in.

So with that, Emma Kenney, the new Emmy Rossum, is substantially better…even if you think she’s not….hater.

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Posted in:Emma Rose Kenney

2020

02

Dec

Genie Bouchard Bikini Hustle of the Day

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Genie Bouchard is a local tennis hero where I’m from. She’s making Rich French Canada real fucking proud, even though she lives in Florida, the Tennis State, and I figure why not celebrate her Canadian success story for Canada, by letting you jack off to pics of her in a bikini on a beach with some other lady who’s got the best mandatory face mask, she’s Santa Claus, only she’s not cumming on her red suit, but you may be…you know since you come her to look at half naked celebs and athletes in their various states of undress you RUSSIAN SPAM BOT you…

I figure anything that involves half naked girls and Christmas is good enough for me….plus she plays tennis, which is a highly erotic sport to jerk off to, tennis skirts, panty flashes, sweaty pussies…all good things.

Posted in:Eugenie Bouchard

2020

02

Dec

Workout Wednesday of the Day

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I say this every week, but consistently fail you…..WORKOUT WEDNESDAYS is supposed to be hot girls posting slutty pics of themselves working out…

LIKE THIS:

But I guess girls aren’t going to gyms anymore, the whole COVID thing, or I’m just looking in the wrong places, so instead I focus on girls who are horny after their workouts, you know after that SWOLE or PUMP or whatever the bros are calling it…because girls, after working out, get fucking horny….it’s a scientifically proven fact and these girls, despite not working out like sluts, and some not looking like they work out even though they claim they do, they are still naked girls, so it’s a win.

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Posted in:Workout

2020

02

Dec

Elsa Hosk’s Famous Last Words of the Day

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I’ll just let this one simmer over here for a minute. Hosk, one of the hottest of the Victoria’s Secret models of recent years, who I like to think was a replacement for Candice Swanepoel back when she was doing the whole breeding thing like a breeder who thinks she’s got the good GENES that need to be carried on in what I guess they don’t see as an STD, despite me seeing children as the WORST STD…AIDS is less evil on your soul even when it killed in the 90s…

But yeah, Hosk has followed Candice’s lead, since they are the same age and I guess all her SWEDISH basketball dreams of being a VS model came true, I mean she hit hard and later in life too, because she’s just that hot…..so she’s knocked up too….

So I’m assuming she did a Q&A or an Ask Me Anything on instagram where someone said something like “BITCH, BABIES RUIN CUNTS, WHY YOU GETTING PREGNANT”….to which she wrote some aspirational shit, seeing as she’s always been hot and fit her entire life, and being a fat blown out mom pussy was never a real concern, you know she is confidence she’ll bounce back, even if her pussy doesn’t…and I like to think no matter how good a mom looks, she’s still a fucking mom…tainted….

I also assume she’ll bounce back from her pregnancy, even though the whole pregnancy basically killed her off as a contender….who fucking breeds these days? fucking perverts, that’s who.

Posted in:Elsa Hosk

2020

02

Dec

Rihanna Holiday Lingerie of the Day

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Rihanna the lingerie entrepreneur who I guess no longer bothers with that annoying song and dance bullshit that’s made her 100s of millions of dollars, I guess the lip synching strains her voice, and the dancing is too much effort now that she’s fat and lazy on her pile of money….and who fucking cares, she’s Rihanna, a legend forever..one who has a really suspicious origin story that I think involves human trafficking…but like Britney Spears before her…no one cares about the underbelly of her existence…I just know umbrella ella ella eh eh ehe heh

Jesus…anyways, her lingerie is killing it, she sells out ever panty drop, unfortunately not the panty drops we like, but a panty drop on her website for all to line up and buy until crashing the shopify servers…and not a pantry drop which her thicker than it used to be but she’s old and skinny by barbados standards makes me think she does nightly…and along with turning JOJO into a lingerie model, Sidney Sweeney into a lingerie model, she’s turned herself into a lingerie model and I like it.

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Posted in:Rihanna

2020

02

Dec

Kelly Gale Naked of the Day

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Kelly Gale is some ambiguously brown model, you know some 50 shades of beige, the future of humanity, always nice and tanned babe who I guess worked for Victoria’s Secret. She’s Swedish but also Indian and Australian and she’s strategically naked to remind you that mixing various species of humans can sometimes result in a super human, new designer breed. You know like when they mixed poodles and goldens and created the GOLDIE POO, but the human version….

I don’t know why she’s naked, but she should always be naked, it’s good.

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Posted in:Kelly Gale

2020

02

Dec

Haley Kalil Nude and Wet of the Day

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Haley Kalil is some Sports Illustrated model….who does the whole influencer, bikini model thing…prior to her career as a model, Kalil competed in beauty pageants and was crowned Miss Minnesota Teen USA 2010 and later competed in Miss Teen USA 2010. So you know she thinks she’s got what it takes. She placed in the top twenty in Miss USA 2014, which for those of you counting is not in the top 3.

This is a picture of her bare ass, because it is nice to see the girls who post their bare asses and are seen as mainstream, marketable and legit models, and those who post their ass asking you to buy pics of them fisting their asses, or really inserting anything on their Only Fans, a girl’s gotta eat, so make that money how you fucking can…and really the two are no different, one’s just a snobbier, elitist version of the other, but luckily we still get to see the bare asses we’ll never fuck…we can look but we can’t touch.

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Posted in:Haley Kalil

2020

02

Dec

Wetspot Wednesday of the Day

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Wetspot Wednesday is a troll post, where I am making fun of the sites that do these compilation galleries of nasty fucking girls acting like they are hot…

My first internet business was supposed to be selling panties on the internet back in that late 90s with some girl who was into the laziness factor of “i just mail out panties and people pay”…because ebay and craigslist shut it down…I ended up selling Lacoste Polos I got at Goodwill to bros looking to pop their collar….I was an ebay vintage clothing entrepreneur motherfuckers…but making 10 dollars off each item for all the effort to upload it at a time when I preferred to drink didn’t really take off like it did for all these other ebay millionairs…I have the right idea, it’s the execution that happens..

So yeah, I’m into wet panties as much as the next guy, I am just not into out of context panties as much as the next guy, and there are guys out there jacking off to this, which is a reminder that men are fucking pigs, let’s accept and embrace that and empower that by the women producing this kind of smut for that….

Some of these pics make me gag, it’s nice to know I’m not overly desensitized from all the shit I’ve seen in 16 year of doing this site and 10 years of porn addiction prior to doing this site…..

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Posted in:WetSpot