DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

22

Oct

Halsey and Kelsey Ballerini Reverse Cowgirl of the Day

I was just asking myself, since I am my only friend, where the kid for the BOMFUNK MCs – Freestylers video at now…

I think he may have grown up to be Halsey….

The mooch fuck who is getting in on country, even though you know she’s more about cunt trees, the roots just grow out of her vagina and she can’t figure out what the strain of HPV is or where she got it…was it that night she fucked a dirty beer bottle for a DJ before she was famous, or was it from fucking the dirty DJ….we’ll never fucking know….

What we do know, or what I’ve decided I know, so it’s true to me…Halsey was a bar star in the era of these EDM DJs being “rockstars” something that I’ve always found dumb…but they’d roll through town making their 10k-100k per show and have groupie 18 year old mainstream girls waiting on the sidelines to suck their dicks…I remember DJ AM (who hated me) DJ for rooms of 100 people who didn’t know who he was…to doing these massive college parties that were sold out…and that was EARLY in the DJ trend…so I’ve met 100 Halseys trying to get backstage to show their “singing skills”….

Anyway…she’s a mooch fuck, with a mooch storyline about being homeless and finding celebrity…a hero story…then she’s been seen doing drugs in Miami and none of her sponsors dropped her…because look how far she’s come….then she started mooching off her black heritage bitching at hotel shampoo not being black shampoo…activism….for people who didn’t know she had a black dad…it was confusing activism…and now she’s on the country trend…because it’s an opportunity to be a slut doing her best PIPER PERABO COYOTE UGLY…or maybe it’s an opportunity to get into country…music you know 5 years ago she’d piss on for attention….but now she’s into it…get the fuck out of here with your trash…

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Posted in:Halsey|Kelsea Ballerini

2020

22

Oct

Tanline Thursday of the Day

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I don’t know where you live, if it is cold or not, maybe you’re from the Caribbean….maybe you’re in Hawaii…but you’re probably just a Russian Spam bot who doesn’t even care about me, this site, or my feelings, but I do appreciate the traffic numbers so that I know there’s at least one of you out there and that I am not the LEAST FOLLOWED site on the internet that I know I am…

I do know that TANLINES are hot, they are summer, they are aspirational….whether made in a trashy spray tan booth, or on the beach like nature intended or not…they frame the parts we aren’t supposed to see and that’s just so thrilling for our virgin incels who can’t get laid asses….

Here’s that round-up…ROUND UP….if you or someone you know has been exposed to ROUND UP be sure to join the class action lawsuit of CHECK OUT THESE TANLINES.

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Posted in:Tanlines

2020

22

Oct

Noah Cyrus a Little Nude of the Day

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If you read this site, you probably know that I love Country music, it’s not a new thing for me like it was for that mooch fuck DIPLO, I’ve owned Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Willy Nelson, Merle Haggard, Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers, Waylon Jennings records for 25+ years..because it’s actual music, with real life story, and real emotion…this isn’t me saying I’m so country, it’s me saying, country is great…just not as great as Dollywood…but still pretty great.

Anyway, Noah Cyrus, despite being the weird looking sister who likely has a few too many face injections tried to breakout on the award show, or breakout of Miley’s shadow and she did it by pulling a MILEY CYRUS – showing up to the good old fashioned FAMILY VALUE institution of Country Music for a performance in a what looks like a THONG, but is just a skin colored leotard that’s been bedazzled to look like a thong…

I have consistently been indifferent on Noah Cyrus, even been mean on her for being some entitled rich kid, I am sure I’ve called her ugly, but she’s gone onto get some face injections and looks pretty good dressed like this….

She is part of country Royalty, Billy Ray may have been a joke to the mainstream, but he’s country’s own and a legend, so if she wasn’t able to deliver at the COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS, it’d be a “What the fuck are you even doing with your life Noah”…but she delivered…this is her breakout as far as I’m concerned…far better than Ashley Simpon’s on SNL when she tried to do her version of following the sister’s footsteps…

This doesn’t mean I won’t still hate on her, that’s part of my charm…

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Posted in:noah cyrus

2020

22

Oct

Bebe Rexha Underboob of the Day

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Bebe Rexha is some old as shit pop star, I think she claims to be 31 which means she’s probably in her 40s, the entertainment industry likes to lie….but even at 31…that’s old as shit to be in year 2 or 3 of being a popstar…but I guess never as old as disgusting pig Katy Perry who did this colorful hair, loud energy that annoyed before Bebe…

Bebe, despite her idiotic name, has been in the music industry for at least a decade making hits for other people…probably thinking she was too fat to actually pull it off…but then this miracle of internet inclusivity and body positivity happened and bitch dyed her hair some loud color and hopped the fuck on…

Like most over 30s, she’s been into health and wellness, clearly more fit that she used to be, on some ADELE shit, proving that fit is hot, even when you’re old and wonky looking…and luckily for you, she’s still fat enough to have some tit…since you like tit…I mean it’s really the only thing these celebs offer us, especially when their pop music on the radio is nothing we ever ask for, but instead raping or sexual assault of our ears….NO CONSENT FORMS WERE SIGNED MOTHERFUCKER..

Here’s that tit.

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Posted in:Bebe Rexha

2020

22

Oct

Charli XCX Bikini of the Day

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Charli XCX is in a bikini and she’s still got the tits that I think were her key selling point when she first came to america as a third tier popstar…like other third tier popstar tits before her, mainly RITA ORA, these tits have really been good earners for the host bodies of said tits…

I know based on their low level of celebrity, you’d assume that they were just rich kid socialites who managed to pull some scam through a fake record deal, allowing them to enter the USA….and live their best celebrity life in the USA as a third tier popstar with tits…you know you’ve never heard any of their songs, how could they be killing it, and the answer is because the entertainment industry has so much fucking money to go around, just not over here, as they don’t pay me to promote their bikini pics even if they should…

So this one, who you’d think was a whatever, just bought a 5 or 6 million dollar house in LA, owned by some producer she may or may not have fucked like she was Rita Ora, which means that she had to have at least 20% downpayment and proof she can pay the 20,000 a month mortgage….not to mention she’s got baller houses in the UK too…so either she inherited a small fortune, whcih is possible, or her shitty pop music got her paid….

All this to say, knowing that she’s as successful as she is and not the mooch I previously thought she was makes her hot sloppy tits just as hot and sloppy.

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Posted in:Charli XCX

2020

22

Oct

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

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TITTIES…

Does Titty Drop Thursday really need me to rant about the importance of tits in the grand scheme of this genderless world…

Do I really need to say how awesome it is that girls have managed to still find a way to flash their tits without Girls Gone Wild exploiting them to flash their tits…..or without the bus taking the sorority girls on a field trip, maybe for spring break, where they egg each other on to flash dudes driving by…they can still get the thrill of showing their tits…but on their own….for the internet and that’s reallly fucking special…it touches my heart, my soul, myself.

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Posted in:Titty Drop

2020

22

Oct

Nicole Scherzinger Pussy Stretch of the Day

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I used to say things like Nicole Scherzinger has a dick, her tuck game is strong, but as it turns out, I’m into that…No, I’m not into the tranny thing, that’s always been terrifying to me, I’ve always thought it was unhuman and creepy, even from my early years working at a porn company….it will never be normalized to me and it will always be something closet case dick lovers are into….taking the woman out of the porn when the woman is the best part of the porn…while referring to chicks with dicks as the woman in porn…is really just gay porn..

Anyway, I don’t think that the hard faced / hard bodied show girl, pussy cat doll, the most successful stripper dancer in the world, is actually a tranny….but girl definitely has high testosterone, her musculature is pretty pronounced and has always been…just a fit as fuck 40 year old who could be one of those oiled up cheesy fitness models at whatever small town competition they are at…..her flexibility is pretty good too..but I guess when you’re a pro dancer turned popstar…flexibility is needed…

So here she is manspreading, her balls stapled to each side of her leg so her shaft looks like a pussy, unless she just photoshopped that out, or maybe she is actually with vagina….who knows…the lesson here is that fitness is something all women should immerse themselves into while complaining about men, creeps, toxic masculinity, mansplaining, all trying to contribute to the feminization of the american male, as women do…because fit girls, especially in their 40s are better than sloppy pig bitches.

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Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger

2020

22

Oct

Christina Milan Has Crabs of the Day

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Christina Milan is an empowered 40 year old who is getting paid by a terrible “Fast Fashion” company, that basically was selling cheap shit from China to the idiots of instagram who were into slutty outfits in bulk so that they’d always have stripper outfits to wear on their social media feed….you know keep China rich with shit you don’t need, but think you need, because you’re an easily programmed fuck…not you, but people of the internet, hence all these multi million dollars brands strictly created on social media….DrunkenStepfather is not one of those brands, in the event you were wondering..

So yeah, these “woke’ generation of empowered idiots getting naked on social media instead of going to college, who cry about the environment and jerk off to activism and outrage, are buying the least environmentally friendly things, because they are cheap and hot and that’s what they care about…

So instead of reworking old clothing into new clothing, with a little upcycle or redo, maybe even some vintage shopping, which us poor fucks called “shopping” becaue Goodwill and Salvation Army once offered us new enough clothing, possibly dead person clothing, sometimes with the tag still on it for a dollar or two….far more expensive now that the hipsters have infiltrated I am sure…

Funny, my first attempt at making money on the internet was selling Salvation Army polo shirts to the bros in America…if I wasn’t as lazy, I could have built a vintage clothing empire, I was selling 2 dollar shirts for 30 dollars….this is back in 2001 or 2002….not that you care about me….

I’m just saying that Christina Milian at 40, even with her nipples edited out, is in a see through outfit being slutty….I’m sure her crabs are the least of her sexually transmitted worries….because she was a child star, turned slutty one hit wonder…turned this mom being seductive weirdness like you just met the bitch at divorce court and she’s ready to get her fuck on in the weirdest way on some all inclusive luxury vacation…

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Posted in:Christina Milian

2020

22

Oct

Larsen Thompson Titty Top of the Day

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Larsen Thompson is some ginger with titties who is for whatever reason trending enough for people to keep track of her slutty posts…

She’s apparently some kind of dancer who had a viral video of her doing a choreographed dance to some shitty song, which I guess was some preview of what was to come with TikTok, they whole “Cover song” the “dance” version where people googling trending songs would see the video with two teens dancing like idiots, something that other people must not think looks idiotic, because choreographed dance continues to be a thng….

Anyways, she’s also singed a modelling contract and does actual modelling jobs, all looking like an Irish river dancer doing a jig…all freckled and shit….

In this pic, you can see what looks like peach fuzz ginger mustache…pale and disgusting skin….and tits that are her salvation as they are for all these whores.