DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

12

Aug

Chelsea Handler Retard Helmet of the Day

Chelsea Handler may be a cunt, her comedy may be mean spirited enough to get noticed, but really just her trying to pander to the celebrity world that she wanted to so badly be a part of by pretending she’s above it. I don’t remember ever finding her funny, interesting or compelling in any way….but then her show got cancelled and she got naked on instagram where she shows off what I assume are fake tits, because before she did the comedy route to get famous since it was an easy one as a girl, comedians are typically losers who can’t get laid so if an averagely hot girl strolls in, they all do all they can to elevate her career so that they can jerk off to her in their hotel room after a show and laugh about it until the MeToo movement makes them question the experience and try to get that toxic male cancelled…

Point being, Chelsea Handler has tits, they are not exposed like they normally are, but they are in an old lady bikini, while she rocks a helmet, with what could be a dumb as fuck caption I am not going to read, because I’m sticking with retard helmet, because I still use the word retard on internet, in conversation, I’m old and not going to change a good thing….but yeah…the retard helmet so she doesn’t brain damage herself while hitting her head against the wall or whatever else it is that retards do…

Weird bikini pics, sure, but tits.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Chelsea Handler

2020

12

Aug

Cardi B Titty Pop of the Day

No Comments »

Cardi B is a pretty fucking weird creation that makes sense now that I’ve been told that one of her managers is Kris Jenner…

She’s a trashy stripper, who got onto a reality show, that turned into a popstar with sleazy and trashy garbage music you’d expect a sex worker to produce, but that you’d probably not expect all the kids to get excited about, or that you’d probably expect parents to boycott because the average Cardi B fan is probably 15 and all this bitch does is talk about fucking, her tits, her vagina shaving…she’s disgusting….but society is disgusting…hence her celebrity…

Since we all know we are only exposed to what the industry wants us to be exposed to, I am not sure what the brainwashing cash grab with this shit is, but when you see her new song go even more viral because every celebrity endorses it, you know it’s some brain washing shit…celebs promoting other celebs they are likely jealous of…is beyond confusing but it’s just something all the instagram whores do on a more coordinated level of SHARE FOR SHARE…to keep them all on top…

I am fine with the sex in the media, the sex in the music, I just find it weird to see that people are protesting other nonsense, instead of the destruction of the moral code and values of a generation of kids who are connecting to her seriously garbage clickbait music….instead of bringing them anything uplifting, compelling, or of value….it’s just basically the pornification of music, but porn has more value….and here’s her tit doing some weird fucking stunts…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Cardi B

2020

12

Aug

Jojo’s in her Lingerie of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know if I’ve posted these pics of Jojo in her underwear of Rihanna, because Rihanna is some kind of sexual predator who pays girls to get into her panties, under the guise of it being part of a marketing campaign, but the idea that Jojo is selling panties to the fans is a bit of a stretch, however, she was a traditionally famous underage sold to the industry kind of girl before crawling back into the lives of her fans via social media…a second life to her career before the age of 30…

The only revelation that we’ve really had in her quest to get where she’s trying to go is that she’s got massive fat tits, which as you know are fun to look out and a totally redeeming quality for someone who turned her back on the fans and the perverts at what was arguably her early 20s prime…

The move into lingerie model is a weird one that I don’t mind staring at….so there’s that.

Posted in:JoJo

2020

12

Aug

Sarah Snyder Titty Shake of the Day

No Comments »

Sarah Snyder is some slutty hip hop / streetwear pussy, that the lame as shit street wear industry enthusiasts seem to fucking love, because they are just lost, mainstream losers, trying to buy cool in overpriced limited edition products that aren’t even cool. That whole Hypebeast thing is what ruined streetwear and the “underground” and helped make it pop….and pop as you know is dog shit…

She is hot and she is playing with her hip tits…her claim to fame was fuckign Jaden Smith at some point and she also stole a 15,000 dollar purse to make headlines, you know because edgy and underground is really about as edgy or underground as Disney, in fact the underbelly of Disney is probably more edgy and interesting……

Some pics:

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Sarah Snyder

2020

12

Aug

Rumer Willis Shower Porn of the Day

No Comments »

Rumer Willis reminds me of the time I got Crabs at a rave in the 90s while shitting myself after doing too much speed…and not in a good way.

No matter what procedures she gets she still looks like a potato….and not like the kind of potato you’d want to fuck…you know warm, buttery, creamy and mashed in a ziploc bag that you’ll double as a pocket pussy…

I guess she’s just trying follow her mother’s lead in lying to the people by buying her hotness like every girl on instagram because she’s from an era when it wasn’t a 600 dollar injection in their face…you know this bitch paid millions to live up to the lie and chopped herself up each time harder than she chopped up lines of adderall or whatever other drugs she was doing when she was high on Whippets that time a dude drowned in her pool….

Point is, Rumer is posting topless pics for attention because she’s a shadow of her parents and this is how they do it.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Rumer Willis

2020

12

Aug

Salma Hayek Titties in the Pool of the Day

No Comments »

Salma Hayek is more than just Mexican Titties, I mean I assume she likes to think that she is, but to me, she’ll always just be Mexican Titties, because her tits are huge…

She’s probably in her 60s now, in some pre-retirement home kind of environment, or would be if she was a basic blue collar worker who is dying of all the diseases that come from being low income….but instead she was a rich kid, who made in in America as a celebrity, who landed a billionaire husband, and who can focus on being rich as shit, famous as shit, and still just a set of tits…

I am not a huge fan of old ladies trying to be hot, despite being an old man just trying not to die of a heart attack or stroke, but clearly not trying enough….but when they are rich, they are usually cleaned up nicely enough, that their old dry mom cunts smell like fancy perfumes and not the impending death you’d expect them to smell like…

So here she is floating with the floaters like she wasn’t old as shit….because tits, when shot from a far and pushed up to your old hag neck, aren’t that gross.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2020

12

Aug

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Crotch Shot of the Day

No Comments »

Alessandra Ambrosio is still bringing it, what it is I am not entirely sure, but I do know that a straight up crotch shot to promote the detail of her bikini is pretty fucking racy.

It’s a “LOOK at my cunt” without showing the cunt, since these are all cockteasing bitches, even the old hags who you’d expect to be over the whole thing and down to get their dick on…

What I am trying to say is that there’s still a very fine line of slutty and appropriate and slutty and not appropriate…and for a woman like Ambrosio to post up a straight up crotch shot, you’d assume that is not appropriate, but since she’s an empowered 40 year old lingerie model looking as good as ever, it is appropriate, but if you were to start a crotch shot instagram where you crop all the crotches of celebs in bikinis, you’d get shut down, because I guess that’s not empowering to show everyone where YOUR baby came from, but rather you focusing on other people’s vaginas….and the point is HYPOCRISY..

All slutty is good slutty…and a pulling a bathing suit up inside you, cropped so it is ALL that is going on in the pic, is pretty slutty.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2020

12

Aug

Nina Dobrev Weird Vaginal Growth of the Day

No Comments »

Nina Dobrev who may or may not have herpes because all the girls in Hollywood have herpes, not just the Eastern European Gypsy ones routed through Canada on their barely Human Trafficking route because their dad is a Scientist and thus welcomed directly into the middle class life that allows them the luxury to put heir kid into acting…clearly has a whole other growth going on in her crotch that Sean White probably McTwists his ginger worm through in their rich and luxurious famous person life…

That face may be looking old, but I would NEVER dis a girl for that because in this era, seeing an ACTUAL human is hot….not just filters and fucking fillers…so the down to earth Canadian Bulgarian American dream’s pretty alright…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Nina Dobrev

2020

12

Aug

Shadow Porn of the Day

No Comments »

Shadow Porn because people are better as shadows…because people typically suck but their shadows are alright…I guess….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Featured Post

2020

12

Aug

Sylvestor Stallone’s Creepy Dad Moment of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s some Sylvester Stallone checking out his daughter Sistene, who I guess fancies herself in instagram model, because I guess that’s the only think out there for these celebrity children to do in efforts to leverage their last name and make some spending money by getting paid by brands to promote nonsense even though they don’t need spending money and aren’t even doing it for the spending money…but rather to get an audience of their damn own because they are tired of being in their dad’s shadow or some shit…while leveraging their last name as much as they can because people only care that she’s her dad’s kid….which I am sure she knows in her core but that doesn’t mean she can’t get half naked and show off some tits and ass to offset that….in a “maybe they’ll like me for my pussy” kind of weirdness…

I don’t know if “SLY” is really being all that creepy, I mean he’s a dad and probably thinks his daughter is the most wonderful creature around, I mean that’s the whole point of being dads…it takes a real narcissistic pervert who has fucked everything including Brigitte Nielsen who may be the world’s first famous tranny because it was the only thing that could get him off after too many hot chicks were thrown at him, kinda the same reason Leo fucks dudes, just looking for a thrill so why not dabble in the world of incest….

Genetic attraction is a legit thing, daughters and estranged fathers have been reunited without knowing they were related only to misconstrue their bond as sexual….so it wouldn’t be the first time…

What it comes down to is that at least Sistene isn’t fat.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized