DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

24

Aug

Ashley Benson Titty Shot of the Day

Lesbian no more Ashley Benson posted a shamless titty in a bikini pic now that she’s gone back to cock, as some lesbians do, when they realize that scissoring is less fulfilling than getting deep dicked, plus girls are fucking crazy and being a girl with a girls makes for a very akward unbalanced experience, while when she’s with a dude, she can be the bitch of the relationship, rather than competing to be the bitch of the relationship…you know what I mean…

I figure that after her year rubbing clits with Cara Delevingne before Delevingne decided to eat the souls of young and trending models and TikTok personalities….you know to keep her eager to be relevant ass relevant…while being a creepy old lady grooming young pussy into her world….this one would have better ability to take a damn slutty selfie…I mean she’s got rocking or at least big tits, and this shot, from this angle, is actually really uneventful….which is not what big tits are ever supposed to be… I guess she’s just a fail across the board.

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Posted in:Ashley Benson

2020

24

Aug

Christina Aguilera Gets Wet of the Day

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Christina Aguilera is celebrating 21 years since her debut album this week and she’s doing it by showing off just how fat you can get in 21 years.

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Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2020

24

Aug

Hailey Baldwin Bikini of the Day

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I don’t know why Hailey Bieber’s face looks a little Mr Ed, for those who don’t know, Mr Ed is a talking Horse, she looks like a Talking Horse but she’s dramatically hotter than her big cousin Ireland who despite being 6 feet tall got beat up and mugged in NYC the way we like NYC because shit got far too soft for far too long and rich people in NYC should be getting robbed…she’s also hotter than Selena Gomez, who Bieber escaped by marrying Hailey Bieber, his number 1 fan who he took the virginity cherry from according to at least 5 people I know who have insider information….which is pretty depressing that my insider info isn’t even that reliable and not information that makes me millions on the stock market or wherever else you’d want insider info to prosper…my insider info is about shit like who popped Hailey Bieber’s cherry…and how she has stalked him hard until getting to this point…

I do know that I like this shameless half naked butt shot to remind you that even Christian girls, or girls who identify as Christian because their dad is business partners with the My Pillow guy….does exist because God is forever forgiving or some whit so long as she accepts Jesus in her life…there’s a loophole that she can be a horrible fucking person while still acting Holier than Thou…

The good news is the Justin is a tyrant, unstable, abusive, brat…so she’s getting consistently shit on, literally and figuratively I guess…and that’s always hilarious or will be in 20 years after the kids when they are going through the divorce and it all surfaces…I will probably not be alive in 20 years, but if I am – I will point and laugh at the botox, possibly fat version of her as these are her best years, only shit from here….

I don’t know why sneakers in a bikini remind me of pornstars on instagram, but here it is the Christian version that is as slutty as pornstars on instagram…

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Posted in:Hailey Baldwin Bieber

2020

24

Aug

Inka Williams Booty Shot of the Day

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Inka Williams is out here annoyed of all the Russian girls who have moved to her native BALI acting like they own the place with their pretentious content of connecting with the earth in some paradise-like setting that is actually pretty affordable to live in because it is fucking Indonesia…

While Inka was forced to grow up on the island thanks to some hippie yoga parents who wanted to live in paradise like all the Russian influencers appropriating BALI but back in the 90s or early 2000s before instagram ruined it..

This is her butt in a slutty leg spread booty pose and it’s good.

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Posted in:Inka Williams

2020

24

Aug

Julianne Hough Mormon Pussy Stretch of the Day

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I am pretty sure this isn’t the first time Julianne Hough’s Mormon pussy has been this stretched…if anything she’s probably the kind of girl who needs to be fisted in order to feel anything because her pussy has just been stretched that much over the years….so this stretch isn’t even pushing her to maximum pussy stretch capacity…but that’s more a product of being a Hollywood starlet than having weak pelvic floor muscles…I mean as a dancer…she can probably offset that pussy ability to stretch with her musculature…..and who fucking cares about Julianne Hough or her Mormon pussy…boring.

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Posted in:Julianne Hough

2020

24

Aug

Lili Reinhart Almost Pussy Flash of the Day

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I have seen Riverdale, it is the worst written show on TV. It was a probably a 90 minute movie, stretched into a season, that went viral and had no intention of being continued, so it went down 4-5 seasons of really inconsistent bullshit…not that I’ve watched that much of the show, but I’ve seen clips here and there and it is awful, just not as awful as their casting because Lili Reinhart, some fat chick, is who they chose for Betty….and she’s probably the best casting out…which isn’t saying much…but she sure isn’t what I envisioned Betty to be…

She’s recently single from her boyfriend Jughead and she’s doing media pretending she’s hot…and I guess to the right loser she is, since she’s got tits, fat chicks typically do, unless GOD hates them….and this is some of her boring ass bullshit..

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Posted in:Lili Reinhart

2020

24

Aug

Vanessa Hudgens What That Tongue Do of the Day

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Disney Trained popstar is out here showing you everything she learned at Disney which involves using her tongue and body or anything to get the eyeballs in….because once the eyeballs are in…you can manipulate the audience and brainwash them….you know happiest place on earth shit…

Or maybe the Disney Trained popstar realizes what a joke being a slut on the internet is, it involves a fucking selfie and when you’re hot enough to be a celebrity in the first place…a selfie requires no work…you can even post it up unedited….

So in her Quarantine months with nothing to do, the recently single girl said “I’ll just do this instagram thing, to show that a professionally trained performer with a fanbase can basically make all these try hard bitches irrelevant”…

I know that if I was a brand, I’d pay Vanessa Hudgens for a sponsored post before some no name and she’d probably be the same price…some of these TikTok sluts charge 30k a post…and maybe it’s worth it…but I still think actual celebs moving in on these lazy self starter turf will end with actual celebs being influencers and only a handful of influencers being influencers since the money will be going to the celebs…the free ride over unless I’m just overly excited by slutty Hudgens…

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Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2020

24

Aug

Amber Heard Disgusting Cunt in a Bathing Suit of the Day

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Lesbian out of convenience…man eater and man hater and husband killer praying mantis style black widow looking bitch..is in a bikini

I guess she took time away from lying, false allegations of abuse when she’s the abusive opportunistic cunt who thinks she’s more important that she is….narcissism….to vacation with her girlfriend wherever the fuck she’s vacation…in efforts to show her 2 fans she has left that are men who clearly like ball torture videos and being told how small and pathetic their dicks are…you know deep SIMPS…or SIMPS on X-Games Mode….or SIMPS to the Power of 4, levelling up SIMP….and a bunch of man hating women, possibly lesbians, who support and believe all women…even gold digger, manipulating, abusive ones who went after and tried to ruin Johnny Depp for no fucking reason than for herself to come out a hero….what trash…texan trash with some bloated pussy eating face….HPV THROAT is all we can hope for this one…

Posted in:Amber Heard

2020

24

Aug

Kristen Wiig Nasty in a Photoshoot of the Day

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This is a keep your damn pants on situation….of why the fuck do we need to take this empowering so seriously that we give every motherfucker the damn chance to get naked or half naked in a photoshoot…even ugly SNL cast members…..not that I watch SNL and haven’t since the 90s, I hate that shitty fucking comedy…

Can’t some people just accept that they are old and disgusting looking despite all the positive feedback and money they get paid in the industry because someone confused them as talented.

This is some Celine Dion looking, skeletor looking, weirdness that doesn’t need to be out here pantsless…unless that’s just part of her comedy act, on some Andy Kauffman trolling level of “look at me doing some bullshit attempt at modelling”…

All these people suck, but at least when they are hot, we can find some value in them….but there are Kristen WIIG fans out there, they think she’s funny, not awkward and annoying, and hopefully they aren’t into her for sexually reasons, because jerking off to this shoot is as weird in concept as it is in practice…..what, you don’t expect me to test out the material before posting it. You crazy.

Posted in:Kristen Wiig

2020

24

Aug

Nurses Gone Wild of the Day

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Next time you’re in the ICU for COVID related symptoms, or maybe unrelated to COVID, but probably COVID, because those COVID symptoms apply to everything…from Breaking a fucking leg to having a car accident…it must be COVID that’s got you feeling down….then there’s the perpetual hypochondriac losers who tell everyone they have COVID but never tested and the symptoms are lingering because it’s in their fucking heads…and convenient to garner the sympathy of all involved like the mooch fucks they are…you know the same people who take ownership on celebrity deaths and write facebook status novels about the one time they saw them in concert and how much it meant to them…or some other self involved bullshit…but yeah…next time you’re dealing with a nurse, remember they are the sex workers of the health care system, and thus pretty slutty…so you can be like “did I see you on nurses gone wild”…and they can be like “no, but here are my tits”….because NURSING is the basis of breast feeding, it’s pretty much their actual job…

So here are a bunch of sluts…I mean nurses…I mean nurses being sluts…I mean angels sent from heaven to take care of our needs in times of sickness and depravity.