DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

04

Aug

Emma Watson Wet Bikini of the Day

Harry Potter fans creep me the fuck out. Obviously, I was too old to get in on that hype, but I was well aware that there were some really devout fans out there who are either Emma Watson’s age and watched her grow up, but more creepily there were adults into the show who thought that Emma Watson was the hottest thing out there and just couldn’t wait until she turned 18….you know…Hollywood shit…but yeah, those Harry Potter fans as you’d expect anyone who is into Wizards and dragons to be, are still Harry Potter obessesed, which has probably worked out nicely for this now 30 year old, because she can monetize that shit forever, all you need is that one hit early on and you’re good….because they’ll fucking love that the Harry Potter starlet is wet and in a bikini…..

For someone who doesn’t have any feelings of lust towards Harry Potter, Emma Watson is pretty much whatever on the scale of hotness but celebs in general are average looking at best, the barista at starbucks down the street is hotter than most, not the tranny one, but the other one…what I am saying is that celebs fucking suck and aren’t better than any of ya’ll, hotter bitches are fucking everywhere…and the only way this would be worthy of your jerking off is if the water she’s rubbing on herself with those thick 30 year old thighs was her female ejaculation or “squirt” that I typically call piss and even that would be pretty whatever….we’re a desensitized people out here….motherfuckers.

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Posted in:Emma Watson

2020

04

Aug

Bella Thorne Taking Nudes of the Day

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Bella Thorne, being a Disney trained kid, knows that her key to staying relevant is speaking to that younger Audience into the whole concept of Only Fans because it makes them money, the one thing I’ve always said that makes no sense about all social media but Youtube, how can you go to bed at night knowing you make Zuckerberg richer with each selfie or idiotic status update.. and there’s no better way to stay relatable than to hop on the platform and fake it.

So Bella Thorne’s whole edgy, porn addicted, sex addicted, bi sexual, weed smoking, drinking, partying, half naked narrative, is just one drawn up in a lab or office and she’s just playing out the part….

She’s got the Hollywood thing going for her, a developmental deal with FOX that would typically be canned if even a nude pic of a girl was released, but for whatever reason, like a Kardashian or Miley Cyrus, their nude work, or sex work is considered part of their brand…..

So in loving the cash grab, loving the fodder for the media to hype her up, she’s jumped on the platform with a total lack of respect for her fans as she pretends to be edgy, not even fucking on the platform, just using it to trick her fans into thinking she’s one of them and not some manipulative cunt trying to get her hands in everything for the money……if anything the Disney kid is trying to exploit sex work….by taking people away from the girls who have been living this life all along….like the poser bitch she is…and you’d expect her to be…I mean she’s Disney Trained man…

Anyway, this is her 150 dollar Only Fans cash grab video that I am stealing because it should be fucking free since she got the media hype for it to begin with…and if you paid 150 dollars for this you’re an idiot and should sue her for clickbaiting your ass for her to get paid….because at her level of celebrity she’ll get millions off an Only Fans…I mean no name chicks are getting 100k a month….manipulative bitch.

Here is her video promoting a new strain of WEED she developed

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Posted in:Bella Thorne

2020

04

Aug

Ana De Armas Nipples of the Day

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Ana de Armas, the Cuban tits that floated into Miami with Camila Cabello when she was still Elian Gonzalez, only to make it in America….which is not the origin story they give them when they decide to cast them as “cubans” so that they “it’s a small world” themselves and have a go-to person to fill every country, cree, ethnicity when asked or called out for being racist…Hollywood and Entertainment man, they full of shit…

The origin story they give her is that she went to Spain and got Married there, because there’s some loophole where Cubans can get to Spain and if you get married you can stay in Spain….escaping that communist rule, avoiding that Russian Ketchup and Cola, living that dream life that involves moving to America on a work visa to be rich and famous there. Dreams do come true….and the tradeoff, being hired as Ben Affleck’s handler, to make him appear more decent, while elevating her profile because Good Will Hunting’s own is a poster boy from Hollywood and I guess Weinstein productions and his drunk degenerate ass needs all the help in can get….the modern Cuban Nanny that won’t get deported when the neighbors call Immigration because she’s got the right paperwork unlike J.Lo’s staff at her Miami mansions but no one ever talks about that.

These are her hard nipples we’ve seen topless cuz she gets topless in movies, it’s all part of being famous.

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Posted in:Ana De Armas

2020

04

Aug

Michelle Monaghan Bikini of the Day

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I refuse to google who Michelle Monaghan is…but I am going with the girl in Lost…,

You know I’m a heavy drinker and I actually don’t like this celebrity shit….I don’t eat well, I’ve been punched in the face a lot, I am lazy…there are just too many things working against me that prevent me from remembering who the fuck Michelle Monaghan is…

Maybe she needs to get a bigger role in a bigger movie and make some real fucking noise…release a sex tape, show us the cunt that got you into this industry in the first place, I don’t fucking care…it’s not my job to figure out wha Michelle Monaghan is…or who she is….I just post this shit knowing one of you thinks she’s the hottest, you sick fuck, clearly she’s not the hottest, she’s old.

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Posted in:Michelle Monaghan

2020

04

Aug

Scout Willis Almost Upskirt of the Day

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The Willis sisters man, just miss the mark. Even the hot one is a lot too Demi Moore pre millions of dollars of Surgery….but at least they just embrace being the rich trust fund kids that they are and don’t overly try to pretend that they are actors, singers, talents, or anything the other celebrity kids are doing…you know just ride your rich, spoiled, entitled, life while pretending to be down to earth because they spent time in the Idaho house, despite probably having houses in 25 other locations because her dad is Bruce Willis and her mom Demi Moore…

I’m just waiting for one of them to claim that stepdaddy Ashton touched them inappropriately, I know he fights that Human Trafficking shit on social media now that he’s a dot com billionaire, however, it’d be a good front to pretend he’s not involved….seeing as Twitter is a hot bed of fucking perverts like all social media platforms worth billions of dollars because these companies get away with fucking murder because there’s too much money involved….garbage….

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Posted in:Scout Willis

2020

04

Aug

Vanessa Hudgens Foreskin Fantasy of the Day

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I don’t know where Vanessa Hudgens has travelled to in efforts to spread her COVID around the world to have some beach time, but I’ll assume it’s either Mexico or Bahamas but probably could be the Philippines where she’s likely got real estate because every Filipino cleaning lady I know sends money back home for their real estate.

I guess it doesn’t matter because the highlight of her post was this comment from the FORESKIN activist who is fighting the meaningful fight against circumcision, you know “DON’T TAKE OUR MAN CLITS FROM US AS CHILDREN, LEAVE US INTACT LIKE SOME KIND OF BANANA DICKED ELEPHANT TRUNK YOU BABY DICK CUTTING WEIRDOS”…..

It made me laugh and I rarely laugh so at least there’s some good things happening in the world…that you tend to forget with all that whining, fake news bullshit, fake cosplay activism, insanity…..

Not to mention, slutty Hudgens who was properly trained by Disney and is still a puppet for Disney, they invested too heavily and probably have her for life, so don’t trust anything Disney Owns….but stare at their better than usual despite being 30 body because all it took was a solid break up to get her to try to piss off her ex with slutty content…..foreskin power or powerful foreskin….you can’t take my foreskin, but you can’t take my dignity, or something.

Here’s her sister because why the fuck not…I like sisters of celebs better than celebs. They are more interesting and insecure.

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Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2020

04

Aug

Inka Williams Bath Tub Party of the Day

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Inka Williams is getting busy with the content production.

I guess COVID has allowed her to establish what is important and that is taking advantage of all the photographers who have moved to her native land of Bali to live their best and affordable instagram life, where she can act as a tour guide or an authority since she’s actually Balinese…probably not natively, but she was raised there so it counts as more authentic than all those other bootleg girls in Bali pretending to be connected with the land there….

I means she’s putting out shoots weekly, which is still lazy from where I am sitting, because she could easily do a shoot a day and should but none of these bitches are really that aggressive in building up their own name, they are equally lazy hence their dreams of being instagram models.

I think Inka Williams is hot, she’s skinny, has a nice face, looks good to me, so I’m all about this increase whether it’s taking baths with friends or whatever the fuck else is going on here, she’s someone you should at least try to jack off to, cuz she’s good.

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Posted in:Inka Williams

2020

04

Aug

Nathalie Kelley Nude of the Day

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Nathalie Kelley is a Peruvian / Australian actress from a Fast and Furious movie that I have never seen, because I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there are two kinds of people in the world, those who watch Fast and Furious and those who don’t, I am one of those who don’t.

She got her start in 2005, when Aaron Spelling created some show called MERMAID, where she played a mermaid rescued by a young man when she washed ashore in Miami, you know a tale as old as time….and by tale as old as time, I mean what kind of bullshit did they spend millions of dollars producing a pilot for, what pervert exec signed off on that nonsense…

ANYWAY, she more recently in Dynasty based on the original, a CW show as a main character….and is now in something called The Baker and the Beauty…it’s an ABC show based on an Israeli show and it should like dog shit…

Nathalie Kelley is showing you her ass on a rock, so we can probably all agree that this is her best work to date, which isn’t saying much, but more ass on instagram is a good thing.

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Posted in:Nathalie Kelley

2020

04

Aug

Joy Corrigan Topless of the Day

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Joy Corrigan has been chasing this instagram dream for a long fucking time. She started up what must be 7 or 8 years ago in posting up her fake tits on instagram and has found a way to get 650,000 potentially real but probably mainly fake followers to help her pretend she’s relevant or some kind of celebrity in the lowest fucking form.

It’s a good tactic to get rich boyfriends to pay you an allowance like a sex worker, because rich guys are obviously idiots, and I guess a good way to make yourself feel relevant or like you are more than just the Flordia Trashcan you crawled out of, because unlike all the other Florida whores with bolt on fake tits, she’s not working at Fort Lauderdale hooters, she’s living a more exclusive rich person life…at the hotels of South Beach, New York and LA…where I guess she’s with those rich guys who pay her an allowance.

I’m not hating…I’m into how she’s looking in this shoot.

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Posted in:Joy Corrigan

2020

04

Aug

Jessica Chastain’s Slutty Selfie of the Day

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Jessica Chastain, who I always confuse for Christine Hendricks, but who is not as fat or busty from being fat as Christine Hendricks, has reduced herself to the slutty selfie…which is hilarious to me.

I am definitely not from the era of the “Golden or Gilded Age of Hollywood”…where all these degenerates were playing this rich and Glamorous life in their exclusive club of giving each other high fives, not that high fives were invented back then, maybe it was more a pat on the back old boy, for pulling off the scam…manipulating the media through tabloid stories…as they faked not being gay, lesbian, drug addicts, pedophiles and killers….their celebrity carried them…

Sure, some of that still goes on to this day, TMZ arguably the biggest gossip site is owned by Warner Bros, who own basically everything from Ellen to a bunch of other shit they’d never drag through the mud….and I’ve seen both TMZ and Disney first handedly cancel me for stories I’ve put out…the first on Jake Gyllenhall during “Prince of Persia” when I had an altercation with him and he pushed the girl I was with…and the Disney Lawyers aggressively came at me, made other media outlets report their version of the story, where I was not named because why give me press….and the other was when I had a traffic trading relationship with TMZ and said Paul Walker was a sex offender because he was publicly dating his girlfriend at his time of death when she was 16….their relationship started at 16, not that she was 16 at the time of death…but WARNER BROS owned Fast and the Furious Frnachise…CAN”T FUCK WITH THAT…

So it’s all fucking bullshit…

Anyway, I am from an era where the celebrities were still enough of thirsty degenerates to have some “realness” to them, so they weren’t this fantasy version, they were real and they were shit, but they were definitely too good for fans, not on social media with a real account, I mean even when I was FB friends with LOHAN it was under some bullshit name…..

Then the money went to social and all these idiots who would be too good to be part of the movement 2-3 years earlier…are taking slutty mirror selfies, which I am sure they were taking for producers they sext, but not for the people…

So it’s fun to seen 43 year old high paid “stars” bottom feeding…and by fun I mean these people are all fucking pathetic.

Posted in:Jessica Chastain|SFW