DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

29

Apr

Braless Noah Cyrus of the Day

Noah Cyrus is getting a facial…

Something Billy Ray probably wishes he gave his wife the day this was inseminated…but instead he has to spend his life telling her how valid, valuable, unique, beautiful she is so that she doesn’t do the rich kid offing of herself knowing she’ll never be Miley.

People think she’s disgusting looking, but that affirmation Ray Cyrus gave her makes her power through and strip down on the internet like their mom taught them…because if the internet existed when she was getting knocked up by ACHY BREACHY’s wallet…she probably wouldn’t have had to be the stripper she clearly when they met and could focus on the important things like nude member sites…it worked for Jenna Jameson, that bitch made 100 million dollars off her porn site, that’s almost MYSPACE TOM money….rather than making shitty kids like this to finance her life…

As it turns out this is a FACE MASK not a facial but I won’t let those FACTS deter my angle with this post…you can’t bring me down…

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Posted in:noah cyrus

2020

29

Apr

Elizabeth Hurley Bikini of the Day

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Elizabeth Hurley is celebrating her mothers 80th birthday…..which is interesting because I just assumed Liz Hurley was 80 years old.

She’s in her bikini because that is the only way she knows how to celebrate and her weird pervert trans son she coddled is the one who shot the pics to give a little context to this photo of rich weirdos who you used to jerk off to when watching Austin Powers….

Her mom looks pretty good for 80s, so maybe it’s genetics, maybe it’s photoshoot, maybe it’s BOTOX…who fucking knows…unless this is an into to a mom / daughter geriatric incest in the same retirement community…I don’t want nothing to do with it.

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley

2020

29

Apr

Cayley King Bikini of the Day

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I don’t know who this fat girl in a bathing suit is, but after much research she’s apparently some bullshit instagram type model with the big tits, who probably knows the angles to divert the big everything else, as most girls do….because it looks like she’s pregant or a fat old man with his shorts up to his fucking neck….or a fat 45 year old mom who is on a CRUISE before COVID killed off the grandparents and CRUISE industry….ready to dabble in a bikini recommended by OPRAH for all mom body types…you know housewife shit.

She does not look like a hot young thing ready to take over the other hot young things of instagram…but it does look like a mommy blogger getting wild on quarantine…or at least a young thing ready to eat the food of all the other hot things…

Maybe it’s fat shaming, maybe that’s what you get when you post pics of your bikini over your fat ass belly.

KEEP IN MIND…this is FACETUNED / PHOTOSHOPPED and she STILL looks like a mom….you’re probably into that you fucking weirdo.

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Posted in:Cayley King

2020

29

Apr

Anastasia Ashley Fitness Erotica of the Day

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Anastasia Ashley brings the COVID QUARANTINE GOOD TIMES to all you perverts into stay at home wives like the misogynists you are….with your “clean my house and make me a damn sandwich” approach to relationships that are in no way the only reason you haven’t had sex in 10 years…but part of the problem as you sit there in your mess, stale semen drying on old tshirts and shit stained underwear because you’ve given up on life…a “clean my house and make me a damn sandwich” is a far cry from ever happening…which is what makes it that much more of a fantasy..

I for one feel that cleaning is women’s work, especially when done in skimpy bathing suits, it’s really the whole foundation of naked maid services….and mail order Russian brides….

So as much as we like seeing Anastasia Ashley surfing, or dancing at events, or just living a better life than you on the beach with her ass out…this is a good old fashioned cleaning lady doing cleaning aeorbics in a best of what house wives do….at least this is what I like to think housewives do…knowing they likely just sit around eating and complaining about how hard their life is while dad is at work supporting the damn family.

Either way, I’ll watch bitches work out anytime….the less clothes the better…while staying true to the Call on Me video….good fucking job…

@anastasiaashley

Inspired by all the live workouts ##fyp

? Call on Me – Radio Mix – Eric Prydz

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Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2020

29

Apr

WATERMELON WEDNESDAYS of the Day

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The biggest struggle I have being a half retard with ADD, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, I may even be flipper baby, or this could be early Alzheimers, diabetes, SLEEP Apnea who fucking knows…is consistency.

Sure, I get the site updated daily because that’s just what I do…but I want weekly themes…

I want TITTY Tuesday, Throwback Thursday, I want to be in that “It” hashtag crowd…following the trends so that you know every Tuesday you’ll find titties here, every Thursdays you’ll find girls throwing back loads, or whatever Throwback Thursday means..or menes depending on whether you live your life as a meme.

So today, we bring you WATERMELON Wednesday…it’s about the big tits we find on INSTAGRAM by BIG tit girls who like to show us their tits…and the only problem with this is that by next Wednesday I’ll forget about the weekly feature…so unless I get an email reminding me next Wednesday, or a FACEBOOK message…this may be the first and last WATERMELON wednesday….and it MAY never be the trending HASHTAG it needs to be!

Some WATERMELON WEDNESDAY!

Posted in:Features

2020

29

Apr

Margot Robbie is Nasty in Shorts of the Day

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If you don’t look at these pics of Margot Robbie in some oversized shorts and say to yourself “Damn this bitch is overrated”…then you are a fucking idiot.

She is average in her looks, in her acting, and whether she sucked up Weinstein of a Weinstein equivalent to launch her career that keeps on fucking giving, despite none of her acting roles being good, compelling or worthy of the hype…other than her Wolf of Wall Street nude scenes…that’s really ALL she is good for…and not even THAT good…or good enough to create the career she has had.

So whenever I see actors wrongfully celebrated or cast as the headliner when really they should be the extra naked in the hot tub or whatever the naked extra is needed for…I feel lied to.

When I see Margot Robbie who must be 48 years old, but maybe that’s just from the harsh Australian sun….I think…you’re all a bunch of fucking sheeple.

So as she walks no mask, in shorts that could double as a hazmat suit, I think either she’s pregnant…or just dumpy….and her career a fucking lie…not that she cares she’s got PAID…better than stripping or hooking like she’s probably better suited for…I mean based on what I’ve seen I think she’d be a good escort…manipulating, role playing etc….

I admit, my opnion of her could change relatively quickly if these shorts weren’t so damn big, I’m a flip flopper like that.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Margot Robbie|SFW

2020

29

Apr

Alicia Silverstone’s Fat Booty of the Day

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This one goes out to all the Clueless fans who jacked off to Clueless because it came out before there was really access to internet porn…the mainstream broadband companies didn’t want you having access until they found the best way to track and document your every move…and that took time…but they distracted you with movies during that time which made masturbating far less challenging now that you’ve been exposed to so much insanity, that you can’t even get your dick to work….you know there was a time when cleavage was enough, or a hard nipple in a t-shirt enough….now you’re spending hours a day trying to find that one video clip that gets you…and clueless in 1995 was the movie before the internet took over in about 1996.

Either way…she’s wearing sweatpants like a chubby instagram influencer rocking a huge fat ass like she’s a Kardashian or Jenner or chubby instagram influencers…because this is what the evolution of ass has become…and I don’t really mind it…even though she’s about 100 fucking years old.

What I do mind is the gut though, like what is that, is she pregnant or just lazy and into eating everything because she knows she’s expired so why bother…

I guess what we’ve learned here today is that a fat ass is only as good as it’s front.

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alicia Silverstone|SFW

2020

29

Apr

Old Granny TikTok of the Day

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There’s an oufit swapping trend on TikTok, the Chinese spyware app that is tracking the American youth’s every move and they don’t care because they just want to song and dance man…

This is the outfit swapping trend video that went viral for the trend involving some girl in her instagram / CAM GIRL lingerie and her granny…who swap outfits in a terrifying yet brilliant exchange.

I ran this by my Millennial constituents / committee and they told me it was old news and that I’ve already seen it and may have even posted.

Luckily, I rely on you being more out of touch than me, so that when I put it up it’s new to you….

Not to mention this is so twisted, weird, hilarious, disturbing….hot…that I can’t repost it again if I have already posted it….

I just hope for the Granny’s sake, she didn’t get herpes or Chlamydia, you know kids these days…all banged out on dating apps and shit.

Posted in:SFW|TIKTHOT|TIKTOK|Videos

2020

29

Apr

Poppy Montgomery Nude Selfie of the Day

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Am I even a celebrity blogger like the queers who got rich and famous for being celebrity bloggers….because I put up pics of celebrities all day, everyday for the last 15 years, but I really don’t know shit about anything celebrity or entertainment. I am the non celebrity blogger – celebrity blogger….

I start most posts with “Here’s _________________, I have no idea who she is”….which I see as being an irritating thing for someone who comes to a site to see celebrity tits…like figure it out fucker..it’s just a google away…

So instead of saying Here’s Poppy Montgomery, I have no idea who she is, or why she is naked in a selfie, but have a better idea of why she’s naked in a selfie than who she is….

I am going to tell you exactly who she is….She played FBI agent Samantha Spade on the CBS mystery drama Without a Trace from 2002 to 2009….She is 47 or 48 depending on sources..which you’d assume is too old for nude selfies, but it’s the J.Lo era of 50 year olds confusingly thinking they are hot. She’s an Australian, and thus a whore who puts out when drunk, so maybe this is just the symptom of that.

She came to America at 18 to be with a boyfriend she met, but hated, then bused to Los Angeles to act.

She got signed by sending a headshot to Julia Roberts’ manager daily, which is how it was done, you had to be clever and persistent to get signed…she got signed. I guess she knew to find the GINGER FETISHIST because bitch is as GINGER as they come…Her freckles morphed into pigmentation….

Well, look at her now..naked on instagram like an instagram whore….those 30 years of hard work reduced to what a slutty instagram girl can pull off in a few weeks of internet hustle…oh how the times have changed…

Posted in:Poppy Montgomery

2020

29

Apr

Britt Robertson in a Wet White Nightgown of the Day

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I don’t know who Britt Robertson is, I did a google search because I figure it’s my duty to give you something more than just pics of these people that I find on the FORUM ….

I saw a spooky wet white nightgown that reminded me of some ghost horror story that takes place in the Victorian era and was like “THAT IS MY FETISH”….

I don’t know if you can see actual bush through the wet white fabric, but we can pretend.

In terms of Britt Robertson, she’s an actor and has a nicer house than you. She’s 30, she was supposed to be in the GROWING PAINS redux you had no idea existed….and I guess her big role was in Tomorrowland, which I’ve never heard of but that was apparently a big deal.

I am pretty disappointed in these wet white nightgown pics but they can’t all be winners.

Posted in:Britt Robertson