DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

19

Nov

Jennifer Lopez Old Tits in GQ of the Day

Jennifer Lopez is bringing the commentary on the demographic of people who read magazines…because I don’t know anyone under 40 years old with any interest in seeing J.Lo and her 50 year old ass sexualizing herself thanks to plastic surgery, fitness routines for the rich, other witchcraft, nutritionists…because MENOPAUSE doesn’t smell as bad as it tastes but it sure fucking stinks…

Why is she grabbing at her tits like she’s starring in some low budget porno? Or maybe a fucking 90s infomercial for a phone sex company….we could have a really great time, if you called me, just call me, pick up the phone…you know cuz she was 35 back when that was on TV every night….

I don’t know about you, but J.Lo has DONE her time, she has MADE her money and despite having fans that want to watched her aged ass slowly curdle, and money is out there to be made, she doesn’t need to be hyped up…I think we treat her like an old bitch trying to be young cuz she’s got the money to do so…but acting like she’s hot, or amazing, or a symbol of hope for other aging bitches is just lame…

We get it, you’ve been fucking for 35 years….lots of cock…and Yes we’d all fuck her, she’s J.Lo…but do magazines for MEN need to be celebrating this nonsense..

Out with the old slut, in with the new sluts…and there are new sluts that deserve some shine….fuck J.Lo…like everyone else that has fucked J.lo in her quest to win….

Print is Dead…here’s the proof.

Men specific content is dead….here is the proof

J.Lo is old and desperate and gross….her is the proof

Posted in:Uncategorized

2019

19

Nov

Naked Farmers of the Day

No Comments »

There is some UK photographer who’s created a calendar of naked farmers, which you can buy here if you’d like.

I like to support original concepts like Naked Farmers…as long as they are women farmers…who are naked…I mean I support naked anything…

This is not an ad, more of a tip of my dick (which is also 98 percent of my dick) to nudity…and to the creative force behind convincing farmer chicks to get naked….

Luckily, we are in this era of people seeing value is growing their own food since the big box commercialized food industry is fucking corrupt, cancer causing, and destroying the planet…people going back to the land and getting their hands dirty to produce small batches of nutrient dense food…instead of going to the grocery store for it.

Whoever convinced us to buy things like Tomatos are fucking mental, you can grow that shit in your house for free and it will product more than enough tomatos. It was likely the same guy who got people to trade their gold in for paper back when they introduced money…it takes some real idiots to accept things that are now “Norm” but were never part of humanity…not that any of that matters…what matters is NAKED farmers.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Featured Post|SFW

2019

19

Nov

Kate Hudson Photoshopped for Women’s Health of the Day

No Comments »

Kate Hudson looking like a crackwhore who once offered me cheap head in a back alley, something always so hard to refuse…or maybe she looks more like an aborted fetus that crawled out of the Hollywood Memorial cemetery to establish a career on her mom’s back….if you know what I mean…just a garbage person…who should have been left in the garbage but instead replaced her mom as the ROMCON leading lady in some of the worst movies ever…

The worst thing about these magazines doing features on the trash celebrities who are only celebrities because their mom is Goldie Hawn, is that their marketing slugs, or tidbits, or bullshit quotes start circulating.

I prefer to focus on the clickbait, like riding a quad in panties at 45 years old, because I find that the only interesting thing going on here, you know drive it to the lowest common dude into chicks, even old chicks, on motorized vehicles that remind them of working the ranch, hunting, or back country hick adventures when disposing of the whore they killed body…

But her quotes are that she’s got struggles as a mother, you know balancing it with her bratty rich kid alcoholism and managing the maids / nannies she’s got on payroll….oh at that she “turns off her phone” to find balance…thanks for the fucking insight you cunt.

This is all just bullshit propaganda used to increase sales for her fitness line, despite not being fit, but being famous enough to speak to older women who buy activewear to wear to the grocery store like they are still 18.

I am not buying into this photoshopped mess of LIES….

Posted in:Kate Hudson|SFW

2019

19

Nov

Halsey Being White for a Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

Halsey being white in some magazine…because when it is appropriate for her storyline she plays the “My dad is black” angle…there was a time this trash was pushing her “nappy” hair, despite being white as fuck, which offended all the white people, who assumed she didn’t have a black dad, and who demanded a Paternity test to prove that she was not just appropriating the black culture…

Halsey, who produces some of the shittiest new pop music out there, but who is making bank cuz people have no taste has other storylines I don’t believe, about being a 19 year old party kid on drugs who was homeless and who would do drugs to not fall asleep so that she doesn’t get raped…what a fucking joke….bitch was in the VIP room fucking DJs like so many girls before her…and the right team signed her up and made her happen…let’s not give her any fucking credit for being more than just a solid manipulator who someone figured they could make money off of…

I think this bitch is straight up trash, even now that she’s no longer poor trash and her and her fake tits aren’t even worth jerking off to…while EVERY girl is worth jerking off to…thanks to their vaginas…even fatties..

Anyway, here’s more propaganda.

Here she is being “pregnant” for the cameras..

And here she is flashing her pussy on stage..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Halsey|SFW

2019

19

Nov

Olivia Munn Erotic Handstand of the Day

No Comments »

Olivia Munn is still out there and she is still TRASH….and that is all the effort I’ll put into this for your Attack of the Show fans who remember this cunt when she was manipulating you all with NERD culture and GAMING culture that she was able to leverage into at least one acting job that was obviously an uneventful acting job…cuz nothing she does is worth shit…it’s just the way of a bottom feeder with tits in the right scene…now in her 40s…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Olivia Munn|SFW

2019

19

Nov

Jojo Got Them Tits On of the Day

No Comments »

Jojo has realized that the public like her tits, so she has been consistently producing pictures around her tits, because tits get hits and JOJO having only one hit 15 years ago, needs all the hits she can get….

This is her second round of her trying this entertainment/ performer thing, after basically turning her back on the entertainment industry for a long fucking time….so this recent come back, that is probably working for her thanks to social media, involves having her tits out, and like Granny Always Said, you can’t rape the willing, but also, tits first is only way a girl should approach anything…if she wants to be taken seriously…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:JoJo|SFW

2019

19

Nov

Maria Menounos Hard Nipples of the Day

No Comments »

There was a time when Maria Menounos flashed her cunt on the beach by accident and the world got to see her pussy sticking its tongue out at us…but the joke was on us…that pussy was just for peeing and potentially making babies if she wasn’t too narcissistic and obsess with her career as the eye candy reporting celebrity news every night, but never quite becoming a legit celebrity in her own right, but still being jerked off to more than the average bottom of the barrel TV presenter / host….

Her real pussy is her anus. It’s a greek thing. They are just designed with assholes that have glands that secrete lubrication…unless that’s just from too much souvlaki poop….is what you are telling me that poop is her lube…fascinating stuff…which is a first for Maria Menounos since nothing about her, not even her hard nipples in shitty social media ad for a YOGA company are fascinating…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Maria Menounos|SFW

2019

19

Nov

Two Slutty Sisters on the Gram of the Day

No Comments »

There are a lot of slutty sisters who milk being sisters on the internet for attention.

You know sexualizing themselves together, it’s a family affair that allows dudes to jerk off more aggressively to their smut, because they are sisters…

I don’t know if this is TWINCEST…but I am sure if it is that increases their stock value from taking them from being more than just sisters to the same person divided in two…from the womb together means eating each other out is just masturbating….

We’ve seen it in porn…we’ve seen it on instagram with these whores…and we’ve seen it in WHITE CHRISTMAS circa 1946…so wanting to fuck sisters, or your wife’s sister cuz she’s the hotter one and you have contact with her at Holiday events and family affairs….is nothing new…

And either is showing off your fake ass, fake titties, fake face, liposuctioned stomach on the internet apparently….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Instagram|SFW

2019

19

Nov

Alyssa Milano’s Tits in a Bra for Some Bullshit of the Day

No Comments »

I am not an American or an activist, I really think all that is pretentious and annoying…assuming people care about your uneducated biased opinion…that you stand on your soap box to preach…like some kind of crazed homeless guy…keep it to your damn self…we’re all in this world together, we know what’s up, we don’t need to hear you whine about it…

Alyssa Milano is a whiner from twitter, which in ways has given her second life to her career, like she was Christie Teigen the media assume people want to see them on TV because they follow and engage with their tweets…when really they should just be focusing on the titty selfies, instead of rallying the fucking troops who are only troops because they want to see the tits they used to jerk off to when you were on Who’s The Boss…

It is the era of the reboot tits, some bring back what we know tits, some equivalent to jerking off to your now 45 year old High School crush’s instagram vacation pics now that she’s divorced and doing Pilates, looking fit…only it comes with complaints about politics, about abortions, about feminism, about her hairy forearms…just non fucking stop insanity…that for some reason people are treating like it’s of value, but then again your country is media obsessed, your president a reality star, so obviously some dumb fucking Alyssa Milano opinion being taken seriously, is not even as crazy as ya’ll get…

The New York Times recently wrote a story called “Alyssa Milano, Celebrity Activist for the Celebrity Presidential Age”….I can’t read it because I don’t subscribe..but you get what I am saying….this shit is being amplified and perpetuated all because a bitch was on Who’s the Boss, otherwise no one would hear her cries and it’d be nice…peaceful…

The good news is that she’s using her big tits as clickbait, to endorse or promote whatever dumb agenda she has now that she believes her own hype, despite her own hype being absolutely silly…and this is the new, old lady, mom titty, strategy…and we like tits cuz they are what are important when it comes to celebrities of any age…that whole having an “opinion” concept coupled with having a platform to push that opinion is the worst.

Posted in:Alyssa Milano|Alyssa Milano|SFW

2019

19

Nov

Marta Gromova Naked Again of the Day

No Comments »

Marta Gromova has 153k followers on instagram that could be fake followers on instagram, I mean she sounds Eastern European and if there is one thing I know about Russians, it’s that they are very good at manipulating internet data, whether with SPAM BOTS, fake traffic, fake followers and SEO…they’ve got a handle on it. You know all those smart, trained, focused, driven, scientists and engineers that communism bred need stuff to do…and internet with it’s unregulated wild west has been a great place for that…either way, this Marta Gromova is on isntagram calls herself a “Traveling photo model” which could be code for “ESCORT”….she does nude shoots, so that’s her angle, has a PATREON where fans pay her a monthly fee…and I guess is just an extension of a Cam girl, you know because being a cam girl is fine and all but finding a way to extend that to as many networks as possible is the way to MAXIMIZE every nude shoot you do….you know have a cam strategy, an instagram strategy, an 18+ premium snap strategy, a YOUTUBE strategy….how to push those nudes and cash the fuck in. A hustle I always respect cuz I like seeing naked chicks win, it inspires other chicks to get naked too, which is ultimately what men have always wanted out of women, the whole going off course to become doctors, lawyers, execs, has been a diversion of that…save it for the fatties…while every hot chick should be basically today’s version of a stripper pulling cash out of willing dudes cuz we’re all easily blinded by tits.

Good hustle.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Marta Gromova