DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

20

Aug

Jennifer Lopez Swimsuit Ass of the Day

Jennifer Lopez is in a swimsuit. Jennifer Lopez is 50 fucking years old. Jennifer Lopez should not be in a bikini at that age, or at her success level, but clearly there is a deep rooted need to do this, it’s in her soul to be clickbait.

You see, she doesn’t need money, she doesn’t need to elevate her brand name, she is basically household, the being half naked on social media is 100 percent for her ego, her vanity, she likes it….but I guess so is her continuing to work, she just can’t stop…like a factory worker making Tortillas all day…only the half naked celebrity version…

I don’t like old ladies doing slutty clickbait except for the LOLZ of the whole thing It’s funny to see them keep on hanging on…so I guess I do like seeing old ladies doing slutty clickbait…it’s like a parody and it’s still a half naked chick….

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Posted in:Jennifer Lopez|SFW

2019

20

Aug

Halsey Bikini of the Day

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Halsey is some clickbait, soundcloud, viral sensation with some bullshit backstory that I don’t find interesting or compelling, but the coddled people of the entertainment industry who gave her a break clearly thought was compelling enough to use in her marketing….and so she exists…

In her existing has been a series of boring, annoying, typical self important shit you’d expect from a popstar, who is really just a vocal track on electronic music thanks to sucking dick in the VIP room at clubs before getting signed.

But it’s allowed her to scam the people, and in scamming the people, she’s able to afford new tits. A sign of accomplishment for a girl who probably thought she’d never get the tits she always dreamt of being that party girl…cuz no one likes a titless party girl.

Here’s her bikini.

here she is for some DKNY thing

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Posted in:Halsey|SFW

2019

20

Aug

Lilliya Scarlett Reid With Her Tits Out of the Day

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Lilliya Scarlett Reid is the dead girl from a show that was cancelled called CHAMBERS…who possibly fucked her weird twin on the show…who was Uma Thurman’s daughter…and who gave her heart that was harvested by their cult to some native girl they were grooming for their cult…

We will never know because they cancelled the show…but Lilliya Scarlett Reid is bringing the tits to remind us she had a job once, not that it mattered, since social media nudes are what matter to this generation of Do-It-Yourself weirdness.

Nice life jacket. Not so nice tits…but she’s alright….look out for more from this one…

Here are her tits in that show..

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Posted in:Lilliya Scarlett Reid

2019

20

Aug

Potentially Olympia Valance Nude of the Day

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Olympia Valance is an Australian actress and model, whose roles include Paige Smith in the soap opera Neighbour….because EVERY fucking girl from Australia is cast on Neighbours…from Kylie Minogue to Margot Robbie to EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM….it’s a right of passage, it’s like the Israeli Defense Force making all 18 year olds join the fight….only it’s far less impressive set of skills…you know not being killing machines but rather idiots who memorize lines and act badly cuz it’s a fucking Soap Opera….

They say these are her tits, but I can’t be sure since I don’t know how HER is.

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Posted in:Olympia Valance

2019

20

Aug

Jayde Nicole New Face and Tina Louise Topless of the Day

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Jayde Nicole is that Canadian Playboy trash who was thrown into the mix thanks to her trailer trash mom forcing her to do Playboy at the age of 18, when she was fresh meat….and it allowed her to have some weird, almost irrelevant career as a nude model, but there was a minute she was dating Brody Jenner, was on the Hills, and she got some leverage, audience and clout..

Now she’s just got a mangled face trying to stay young, looking like a muppet clown bitch in her 60s…and a rock hard tit, that when she lays down looks like rock hard mini girl sized basketballs, and it’s pretty fucking gross.

I like my titties real, small or uneven, or not…the natural squishy, floppy, bounciness makes for good time…a fake tit is just that…fake….and thus shit.

So here are Jayde Nicole fake shit tis.

Jayde Nicole’s new face is pretty terrifying…

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Posted in:Jayde Nicole

2019

20

Aug

Ashley James Massive Tits of the Day

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Big titties are always more fun when they have bruises on them that look like they just got off set from some BONDAGE titty torture porn….

Her name is Ashley James…I don’t know who the fuck that is…but she’s got some fucking beat up titties…and sometimes that is all that fucking matters.

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Posted in:Ashley James|SFW

2019

20

Aug

Bar Refaeli Got Fat of the Day

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REMEMBER THIS VERY IMPORTANT FACT….

All Women Grow Into Their Tits….

It is so rare that a woman with D-Cup size tits stays skinny until menopause…they either breed and fall the fuck apart….you see them at walmart in their elastic waist band pants…or they spend their lives starving themselves and working out to offset the impending fact that their body will try to catch up to their tits.

Bar Refaeli the Victoria’s Secret titty model, with her big Jewish from Israel party tits, that Leo Dicaprio probably came on back when he was straight, before girls got boring to him, making her pretty fucking mainstream successful for those tits…but unlike other models, she got out before 30, so her gunt hanging over her bikini bottoms, her mom stomach hanging over her bikini bottoms are all good to me, cuz she’s not out there pretending to be a model still, she’s allowing the young girls to move in, while she sits on her pile of money, the way nature intended….it’s called getting old, it happens to all of us, we become fucking dinosaurs. I mean look at me, I still write this site, 15 years after the fact…when NO ONE goes to websites anymore…it’s easy to relate to the models who don’t want to give up….cuz I haven’t given up…but I only respect those who do give up…cuz they care about their image and know the time to pull the plug and that always impresses me.

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Posted in:Bar Refaeli|SFW

2019

20

Aug

Bella Hadid Blonde and Slutty of the Day

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Bella Hadid is out producing smut because when you’re the ugly sister, that has tricked the world into not thinking of her as the ugly sister, you know fully putting the blinders over all of us, the power of marketing, next thing you know they’ll tell you that fake food is good for you, forcing you buy it up until you die of fucking cancer, or they’ll tell you that smoking cigarettes is good for you, they’ll make it glamourous and all of us lemmings will be drawn to it like a MOTH to a Flame….we are idiots, who celebrate idiots…

Whenever I see an ugly girl marketed as a hot girl….I am reminded of my early pubescent years…when all the dudes in my class liked a monster. I found an old diary entry where I wrote some funny shit about not understanding why everyone liked the ugly chick and that I would pretend I liked her too, it was first year of high school and I was a fat immigrant new to the scene, I hadn’t fully got my bearings or my sea legs, to hate everything and become the terror I became. This was EARLY on….but like a fag pretending to be straight, I pretended the monster of a girl was hot, knowing I prefer actual hot chicks.

That is what Bella Hadid is to me…just broken down even with all the face injections….but at last she’s skinny and rocks a good waist to hip ratio…right.

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Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2019

20

Aug

JoJo Got Them Titties On of the Day

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JoJo may not have a career, or whatever career she does have is just an off-shoot of the career she once had as the most important Disney-type kid, who acted and sang and old perverts jacked off to…the career she’s got left is like trying to get pregnant from the cum in the resevoir tip of the condom long after the cum happened…you know years after….hoping one little sperm is hanging on….not that I expect you to know what a condom is…AIDS is a myth….or maybe her career is the equivalent of a shit stain from a great meal you left on your underwear in the corner of the room…16 years ago only to be found by your mom after you’ve died..along with all your pocket pussies….you know it’s not even the shit from that great meal…it’s the fucking remnants of that shit….but she’s made money, has money, and has tits…and tits…are tits..

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Posted in:JoJo|SFW

2019

20

Aug

Ashley Graham Totally Disgusting of the Day

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Ashley Graham is pregnant, in the event you didn’t think she was always pregnant, she just gives off those midnight snacking, eating for 2 or 3 vibes…

You know training for the day that she is actually pregnant and can take some fat girl fetish pics of various parts of her body to pretend she likes it or loves it…like her sloppy fat hanging off her ribs that humans aren’t supposed to have because it means you’re eating too many calories, a surplus, more calories than you need…..it’s unhealthy and her claiming to be healthy is negligent, bad marketing, a bad message to the kids, and now that she’s pregnant she’s gonna get a fuck of a lot fatter….and a lot more hype and PR cuz people like her so get ready for the gross sloppy obese pregnant chick fodder that is already begun.