DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

13

Aug

Ashley Greene Bondage Erotica of the Day

Ashley Greene is producing clickbait in efforts to matter…cuz she doesn’t matter….and barely mattered even when she did matter….

She is one of those actresses that never really hit, she was like an influencer before influencers existed, on that Olivia Culpo hustle, they even fucked the same JONAS BROTHERS….

She got some hype from being in a viral video, which in her case was TWILIGHT SAGA, that she amplified by fucking a Jonas brother, whilst pretending to be abstinent, even though anyone with eyes saw through that purity ring bullshit, knowing that any Florida Trash like Ashley Greene sucked a lot of dick to get where she got….and had been fucking since she was 14 years old on the family trailer park lot….with her family…

It was a different era, when spreading your asshole on the internet wasn’t accepted behavior, and when fucking as a teen was something the media pretended didn’t happen, before social media blew that theory up with all the free porn, making everyone a fucking pervert…

Well, she’s out there with her tits out, and her mangled face on, and it’s not as exciting as it should be..

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Posted in:Ashley Greene|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Ava Capra Nipples of the Day

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Ava Capra is apparently from Top Model…and apparently into wearing the silliest outfits to make a statement and get noticed….by the people at comicon…who will hire her to work a booth or to walk around handing out stickers to virgin nerds cuz they’ll find it all so hot, too hot to handle…cuz they are virgin comicbook nerds and all vagina in costume excites them and makes them want to test out moves they learn in porno on them….and she’ll just be happy to get work as a model after all these years of being non-existent, even after being on a show about being a model…which you’d assume meant she was a model…who got some coverage for being a model…while rich kids with no business being models are taking her work…

Either way…nice outfit.

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Posted in:Ava Capra

2019

13

Aug

Bianca Andreescu Has Killed Serena Williams of the Day

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Bianca Andreescu is the GYPSY HUNGARIAN who picked up a Tennis Racket when her family was going from carnival to carnival in their Caravan as her dad was an athlete in and of his own right, where he excelled at juggling on a Bear’s shoulders as the bear balanced on a ball…

She is now a CANADIAN TENNIS PRODIGY who made Serena Williams, the monster cry, and even was recorded calling Serena Williams a beast, while reminding us all that Eastern European women are powerful, just look at these fucking tree trunk legs, capable of destroying an old, fat black lady, at the sport the old fat black lady got rich from…

I am into tennis pussy, I find it hot, but like all athletics, I don’t really love the girls who excel at any sport for being hot….usually being hot and being good at a sport are mutually exclusive…like the hot ones in the sport are usually ranked in the top 100 in the world, the top 2-3 are basically like dudes…

But I see what women look like, their thickness celebrated, so clearly some people would want these thighs to crush their head like a watermelon, while others like Serena Williams and myself will just like to watch her Crush Watermelons…it’s a fetish you know.

Bianca Andreescu Has Killed Serena Williams

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Posted in:Bianca Andreescu|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Heidi Klum Erotica of the Day

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Heidi Klum Eugenics Update..

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Posted in:Heidi Klum|SFW

2019

13

Aug

January Jones Thotty Behaviour of the Day

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Ok January Jones with the ass shot for Instagram being all thotty..

I unfortunately followed her a while ago, not because I bought into the hype around her, or cared about her, or thought she was hot. I have never seen her in a movie or TV show, she barely exists to me, but for some reason I’ve been exposed to her updates, often times promoting her tits, and it’s been pretty fucking lame…

Maybe it is because as a drunkenstepfather I’ve created some innate or deep rooted ability to spot out the single moms, because the ONLY thing I know about January Jones is that she got knocked up by a rich guy she shouldn’t have got knocked up by, and they had an agreement, at least financial that she’d never expose him, so long as he pays her child support…so no one will ever know who thee dad is, maybe not even the kid, which I guess is expected by kids who have moms who dress like this in public….it reminds me of growing up with this white trash family that lived above the corner store, I didn’t know it at the time but found out later, that the mom was a single mom because she was a legit sex worker, from stripper to whore and when I’d go over to their house she’d be walking around in lingerie after getting fucked for money….I’d even see the johns and thought the whole thing was weird but at 10 had no idea what was really going on…but I am sure her kids knew….cuz if I’m here thinking she’s a whore….like January Jones in this outfit….the kid definitely knows…

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Posted in:January Jones|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Scarlett Johansson Old Legs of the Day

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At first I thought this photo of Scarlett Johansson was an ad for Deep Vein Thrombosis awareness….DON’T FUCKING SIT ON A PLANE TOO LONG GET UP AND STRETCH IT IS A REAL FUCKING ISSUE….

I had no idea that SCARJO had a stupid fucking full back tattoo like some trailer trash in Florida who has decided to Full-Time in her RV now that work at the strip club has dried up. Only the trash in Florida is more tolerable…..yes it’s that bad.

I bought into the SCARJO is hot narrative the media shoved down our throats back in 2005 when she was getting started, but I was quick to realize they were lying to us, we were being told a storyline that was just FAKE NEWS….you know to sell movies, to get bigger budgets…it’s an industry that relies on brain washing idiots.

So 15 years later, her ass in a bating suit on the beach, is about as garbage as I’d expect, you know as a celebrity who is still working, you’d think her days would be spent trying to deal with those thighs, but instead…she’s just like “I’m SCARJO – I CAN DO NO WRONG – THEY ALL LOVE ME”…and that level comfort led to complacency and complacency led to cottage cheese ass….I realize she’s 40 but that’s no fucking excuse…do better, work harder, you slacker getting ready for your LIVE ACTION MUPPET role as Miss Piggy.

I guess the surprising thing in this is that her Boyfriend isn’t black. Black dude love this kind of thick blonde pussy.

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Posted in:Scarlett Johannson

2019

13

Aug

Shailene Woodley Pussy Dance of the Day

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Shailene Woodley is still saving the oceans…one pussy dance at a time..

This is some weirdness weirding me out. A dance video featuring all of her bikini clad friends, set to some song that I guess is a trendy song…but that I’ve never heard before cuz I am old.

I assume that this is her TIKTOK as that is the new platform that matters on social media and it is th new platform for talent to rise to the top and end up on YOUTUBE making 100 million dollars a year…

Just a weirdly shot boat video – doing her activism of Plastics in the Ocean, despite the real enemy in the Plastics war is big business, not the public deciding to not use single use plastic…that’ll show them….since ocean pollution is made up of 1% single use plastic and 99% plastics from other industries….know your enemy people. But I get it – don’t buy anything with plastic, and convince everyone you know to do the same, and the world will still produce as much plastic, and put that plastic in everything, cuz the individual will always lose to big business. NOT TO MENTION…America is a big polluter and all, but there are many other countries producing their own pollution and basically we need to accept the world is going to implode – one plastic straw at a time.

All this to say, Shailene Woodley and her friends direct some pretty awkward and uncomfortable music videos.

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Posted in:SFW|Shailene Woodley

2019

13

Aug

Vanessa Hudgens Wet Bikini of the Day

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Vanessa Hudgens is out there with her hard nipples and fit enough body considering how pudgy she’s been over the years….and I guess she’s doing it for ELVIS….because ELVIS is her boyfriend…or at last the queer actor who was just selected to play ELVIS cuz all actors are queer…is her boyfriend…and since all actors are queer….we can assume their sex involves him looking at himself in the mirror reciting his lines while she uses a HITACHI MAGIC WAND or something more high end on her twat.

We have to remember, and of course we remember, that Vanessa Hudgens is a little pervert who was taking nude selfies featuring her hairy little pussy, before it was a thing. A Disney Kid moving first on sex work that she claimed was a “Violation” so that it didn’t damage her pervert career and despitee not looking that great, or her lawyers pretending she was underage in the pics to get them off the internet, I developed a respect that will be a lifelong respect for her, cuz girls who took nude selfies early in the nude selfie game are awesome..

So her hard nipples and ass in her yellow bikini, despite her possibly being pregnant is a reminder that Vaneessa Hudgens is great, if not in looks, then in attitude, but not in actual attitude cuz actors are entitled brats, but great in the fact she took nudes.

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Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Hudgens

2019

13

Aug

Whitney Cummings Nipple Extortion of the Day

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Whitney Cummings is a terrible fucking comedian, I don’t care what anyone says. I get that she sucked some proper dick, or charmed some idiot decision makers in Hollywood, and I get that she’s had some hit shows that she’s produced and made millions from, and I don’t discount or discredit that hustle, but there are many people out there with lesser talent, or with no talent, wh figured out how to milk the system.

I accidentally watched her Netflix special, or at least 5-7 minutes of it before being disgusted and turning it off.

I assume that she’s out here tits out trying to promote the shit…because it was that bad and needs to get some hype behind it and anyone with tits knows that this is how you get hype – fuck – she made a career off these tits where people would say “she’s not that funny” but “she’s got tits”..

Anyway, here is her rant about exposing her nipple on instagram claming she is being extorted..right…

Here is her other social media nudity..cuz that’s her tactics…

what is this FACE? It’s bad…like her comedy special…trying to be relatable but just being dog shit…

Here’s a link to our Newsletter I plan on sending out with exclusive content and gifts…

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Posted in:Whitney Cummings

2019

13

Aug

Chloe Green Topless of the Day

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Chloe Green topless on a boat with her new boyfriend…

She was the nasty, fat, vile billionaire’s daughter who married the “hot felon” meme, because when you’re rich there are so many different ways you can piss off your dad, and one of those ways is that…..not to mention, when you’re rich you can buy anything you want, including the cock of a meme you just couldn’t get out of your head, even if that’s some gutter criminal….and carry him around to high society events. I guess she was trying to line up genetics that she wanted to breed with…like some rich person trying to breed horses up in themselves….

Either way, she has new cock, probably not gutter criminal cock…and she’s got her nasty billionaire tits out….fun times…and the dream to be a K-Fed is alive..

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Posted in:Chloe Green