DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2024

03

Jan

Kate Beckinsale’s Old Lady Tongue of the Day

Kate Beckinsale won’t die. She’s old as shit but she’s not rotting at the appropriate speed. It’s safe to assume that she is infact a vampire, maybe not a traditional one, just one who makes kale smoothies with dead babies she buys off her Mexican gardners.

This is strategic hydration, diet, exercise, botox, I don’t know what the fuck is responsible for an old lady to still be hot, but the old lady still be hot.

In this series of photos she is tonguing a man in an Eamonn Holmes mask, I only know that because she tagged Eamonn Holmes, who is an Irish journalist, host of a morning how, presenter, whatever…that may have been fucked by Beckinsale at some point in his life, or who is just a punchline to a very weird joke if you’re not British…

The point of the post is her tongue, set up for you to imagine it in your asshole, which is what the young people Kate Beckinsale dates are into, so you know she does it to compensate for the decomposing smell she’s got.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale

2024

03

Jan

Selena Gomez Weird Bikini Pic of the Day

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I hear that the unstable alcoholic that is Selena Gomez is looking at a cake or pizza that she’s about to dive into like it’s her swimming pool, she’s already got her bathing suit on and everything, because when you have Kidney Failure due to LUPUS, the only solution is to emotionally eat your way into obesity….which they want you to believe is the number 1 key to health and happiness, even though fat people are all sick and sad…because sick and sad people make good consumers.

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2024

03

Jan

Zara Larsson Hard Nipple of the Day

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Zara Larsson is a Swedish popstar who has been in the Swedish entertainment scene for a long time.

If you’re like me, you’re idea of Swedish women are 1970s flight attendants with long legs and big tits, doing their best to not sound like the Swedish Chef muppet.

So the big necked designed for throating Zara Larsson may not be the look you’re dreaming of but according to WIKIPEDIA she does condom fetish content that she positions as activism, where she inserts her foot and leg into a condom to prove that you can’t have a dick too big for a condom, so long as your cock isn’t bigger than her foot, but you can probably have a dick too small for a condom, you can tell us about that in your memoirs…and ultimately condoms sucking has nothing to do with penis size, we’re just no interested in fucking rubber or making that burning rubber smell from our humping thrusts.

What else have we got on Zara Larsson….she partnered with a Chinese brand for money that is apparently an evil brand that doesn’t care about human rights…

Ultimately, this is a lot of words for a set of braless tits laying back….obviously she’s annoying on the internet, everyone is annoying on the internet, they just balance it out with titty pics and that’s what I care about.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Zara Larsson

2024

03

Jan

Heather Graham Maybe Skinny Dipping of the Day

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Heather Graham is hiding her body, that could be nude, in the pool on some luxury retreat, since she’s modest or old or OLD and modest. She’s got a boyfriend, he’s named John de Neufville, so maybe she’s keeping things classy!

John de Neufville is the founder and CEO of a company called Eutectix based out of Troy Michigan.

They apparently manufactures metal allows for aerospace, hydrogen storage, and other things that are used in batteries, electronics, magnets, superalloys and 3D Printing.

I think her John de Neufville may be John de Neufville the second, riding the trust fund into the panties of celebs like Heather Graham.

Heather Graham is old as shit by now, but I did almost watch BOOGIE NIGHTS last night to see her at her prime, knowing I had this post to write and figured I should invest into doing some research for my very important blog post. In the end, I decided to not bother with that bullshit since no one reads what I write, and really if we have access to Boogie Nights, Roller Girl, her merkin lookin’ tight, her tits looking better, we don’t really need a 30 year older version in the pool.

She was hot, she’s old now, I’m happy to look at her smutty content for social media on her worldly travels because I’m a nice guy, but the beauty of the internet is that we don’t need new nudes to get off to old pussy, we can use the old nudes of it when it was fresher pussy. I mean that also applies to dead people, jerkin off to Anna Nicole Smith today would require some serious effort, when you can just pull up the archive bro.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Heather Graham

2024

03

Jan

Julianne is the Instagram Of The Day

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Julianne has an instagram following of 6.8 million people, I don’t know how real those people are, but I can assume she found some kind of deposit or settlement of simps that could make all her dreams come true with each big cleavage picture she posts. Just a whole lot of virgin autistic freaks who don’t leave their houses saying romantic things like SHO ME BOBS VAGIN LINDA…

She hasn’t posted on her feed since September…so you know she’s been busy, has found god, is annoyed of keeping up the fake likes and prefers to ride it out, but what’s some fake likes for a bitch with a fake face, fake lips, fake tits and photoshopped fake hips to waist ratio…

It’s cheesy, it’s a lie, but people buy into it and I’m sure she’s rich because of it….not to mention her ego must be huge with comments like :

– You are a prime example of a beautiful angel looking stunning and sexy as always

– You are top notch fine.

– so beautiful and nice feet!!!

You guys embarrass me….

Anyway, this bitch has literally posted 2 times in 2023, 0 times in 2022 and updates her account she shares with her 12 year old daughter for the real perverts that clearly she’s building up for when she’s ready to launch the daughter as an influencer, you know passing the torch!

So this is all old as shit content to remind you of what was.

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

2024

03

Jan

Chantel Zales is the Instagram Of The Day

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Chantel Zales is some instagram model in her 30s, who potentially photoshops the shit out of herself, at least to remove the scar marks from all the procedures she’s done to have that instagram model look.

I’m not hating on any of this shit, but when you see an influencer in real life, let’s say you’re a very rich guy with a yacht and you decide that yacht needs pussy to entertain your rich ass on said yacht, the girls who show up for the job are usually all fucking marked up and damaged from years of injections and fat removal procedures…

Apparently, Zales was a legit model working for big brands at one point, but is now an OnlyFans model who sells her near nudes, because her brand of influencer went from Skinny Tea selling to millions of followers to Titty Pic selling real quick.

I’m not hating on fake tits, fake faces, fake personalities, since it’s social media, I expect it….

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

2024

03

Jan

Britney Spears Brings Back her Blue Dress from March 31 of this Year of the Day

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I like to believe in elaborate conspiracy theories, mainly because they all seem to end up coming true.

One of my favorite conspiracies is that Britney Spears is dead, or locked in her basement, or institutionalized and the Britney Spears that we deal with is a body double, an actress, or even just an AI clone, because they do have the technology to troll us and to keep a motherfucker alive on the internet forever.

They can AI her voice and make music…this is a billion dollar performer, like Taylor Swift, but more interesting, they have a budget for that shit.

Instead, she looks like her contentis shot on VHS in the late 90s without white balance, all fucking basement dwelling and SNUFF FILM-ESQUE…

I don’t think the Britney isn’t Britney conspiracy is really all that much of a conspiracy, her legless dad’s company released her book, her Elton John hit song was never promoted by her, she’s never seen in the paparazzi yet she’s free…

In fact, K-Fed and his sons living in Hawaii are seen by the paparazzi more than Britney, the 17 year old’s got a big titty bikini clad girlfriend in his recent paparazzi pics, because his mom was Britney Spears, an icon….

So anyway, she posted this video of her that read:

Same baby blue dress I wore in Mexico March 31 of this year !!! I decided to bring it back because it was my favorite !!! I wore it before I got on my plane to Vegas two nights ago !!! But it’s not in my suitcase anymore nor is my new black jacket I bought last night !!! Don’t you hate it when your favorite belongings go missing and people’s response is “you got robbed” with a big smile on their face !!! That’s not very nice !!!

Ok, so crazy medicated Britney knows the date she wore this dress is Mexico….OF THIS YEAR…so maybe it was a dress she wore in the 2010s, so they aren’t technically lying with their caption. The shit goes onto weirder shit about going to Vegas and losing her dress like she’s speaking in code, but I’ll assume she’s not the one writing the captions….where are the pics from Vegas?

Here’s the iconic popstar, gut out in a tight dress being weird.

Posted in:Britney Spears

2024

02

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

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I like to use the New Year as a way to reset, to strategize, to find more lucrative ways to spend my time so that I can achieve optimal laziness that provides me with all my needs and wants.

I like to tell myself “this will be the year” and I even like to believe that it will be.

I am actually ambitious on a level, I do like to win and I do update this shit daily to keep it alive at an out of pocket cost each month….

I realize “if you do the same thing over and over and expect different results you’re an insane person”….but I’ve always known I was an insane person, just no insane enough to get where I needed to go, more insane and comfortable on this corner of the shitty internet we share.

The point is, I haven’t given up hope and you shouldn’t either. Make those moves, do those things, change your format, change your strategy, strive for whatever it is you want to get, and you can potentially make it happen or at least get 1 year of work closer.

I expect to remain the same old lazy asshole through the year, with the same results all these previous years, but I’ll see if I can manifest something a little more exciting for the last of you that are still here.

Will it be solo masturbation videos on my onlyfans, although great comedy, you won’t buy that…so it could be something else, or it could be the same shit, we’ll find out….but in the meantime, here’s the first stepLINKS of 2024….we’re not dead yet, we may be soon, but for now…stepLINKS..

Here are some stepLINKS….

Ye Declares “No Pants This Year” As He Shares Revealing Snaps of His Wife Bianca!
LICK HERE

The Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce New Years Kiss!
LICK HERE

BAD DOG!
LICK HERE

Cavinder Twins Miss Their Shot
LICK HERE

7 Tricks to Lose Weight No One Ever Told You About
LICK HERE

Emily Ratajkowski’s Nipples Are Out on the Beach!
LICK HERE

Compilation of the luckiest people ever
LICK HERE

Pools reacting to violent earthquakes
LICK HERE

Building a LEGO vehicle with 200 wheels
LICK HERE

Shop These Epic Gel Blaster Deals!
LICK HERE

Juliana Nalu Flaunts a Spectacular Thong Bikini Clad Ass in Trancoso
LICK HERE

Bonus Butts #431
LICK HERE

Easy tutorial on how to do shadow puppets
LICK HERE

Signs of a Dying Relationship
LICK HERE

Corinna Kopf Heads to Philly to Catch an Eagles Game!
LICK HERE

Man catches a cloud in a bag and sells it
LICK HERE

Deciding which ball goes the fastest on the Brachistochrone curve
LICK HERE

Kimberley Garner Bikini Photo Shoot in St Barts!
LICK HERE

21ST-CENTURY PIRATES
LICK HERE

Chocolate: From cacao tree to chocolate bar
LICK HERE

20 Sexy Girls In Lingerie
LICK HERE

Shecky Greene dies at 97
LICK HERE

Non-Binary vs Police LOOOL
LICK HERE

Kimberley Garner’s Bikini Extravaganza in St Bart’s Will Leave You Breathless!
LICK HERE

Tik Tok Dancing Girls !
LICK HERE

ESPN Goes NSFW!
LICK HERE

32 International Oddities That’ll Make You Say ‘There’s No Place Like Home’
LICK HERE

Building a LEGO vehicle with 200 wheels
LICK HERE

Bebe Rexha’s Beach Vacation!
LICK HERE

Hotter Than The Sun #43
LICK HERE

Madison Pettis In a See Through Dress!
LICK HERE

24 PEOPLE DEFINITELY HAVING A SHITTIER DAY THAN YOU
LICK HERE

INSTAGRAM OF THE DAY: KNAPEKOLIWIA
LICK HERE

Taking a look at the incredible paradise flying snake
LICK HERE

Massive explosions with huge shockwaves
LICK HERE

30+ Hot ‘Side View’ Photos
LICK HERE

Gracie Hunt’s Tailgate Must-Haves!
LICK HERE

Tips on surviving the Snake Island
LICK HERE

Amazing display of fireworks in Waipahu, Hawaii
LICK HERE

NO CHANCE #191
LICK HERE

Amanda Cerny Rings in the New Year in a G-String!
LICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Support the Booty Vendors
LICK HERE!!!!

Find Sugar Babies
LICK HERE!!!!

MAKE ME RICH OFF THE BACK OF THESE CAM GIRLS
LICK HERE!!!!

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From the Forum

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Shay Mitchell – Some type of topless tease Photoshoot
LICK HERE

Tana Mongeau – Dinner at Catch Steak in West Hollywood
LICK HERE

Jasmine Tookes – Croft Alley in Beverly Hills
LICK HERE

Ashley Benson – Dinner at Matsuhisa in Beverly Hills
LICK HERE

Amelia Gray Hamlin – Alfred Coffee in Los Angeles
LICK HERE

Bella Thorne – Takes her Clothed/No-Show Porn Empire out in Los Angeles
LICK HERE

Sabrina Carpenter – Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in New York City
LICK HERE

Megan Thee Stallion – Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in New York City
LICK HERE

Shay Mitchell – Some type of pulling up her sweater dress photoshoot
LICK HERE

Shay Mitchell – Some type of pulling up her sweater dress photoshoot
LICK HERE

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From stepSMUT!!

(LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!)
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Wiggle Out of a Red Dress!
LICK HERE

Pretty and Naked (GIF)
LICK HERE

Codi Vore The Big Boob Theory Scoreland
LICK HERE

Josephine Jackson A Client Like Josephine
LICK HERE

‘Rumpled Sheets’ with Sonya Blaze via Sex-Art
LICK HERE

Tammy Hembrow nude and sexy
LICK HERE

AMATEUR MEAT: LOLLY 2024
LICK HERE

Bouncing Butt Plug!
LICK HERE

‘Red Lace Bodysuit’ with Ariana via teendreams.com
LICK HERE

Watch Until The End!!! loool
LICK HERE

Bathroom Quickie (GIF)
LICK HERE

Leni Klum in a Bikini in France
LICK HERE

Hot Valy via Suicide Girls
LICK HERE

Leanne Crow Naked With Fruit!
LICK HERE

Super hot and popular OF babe in more premium nudes (675 pics – 12 videos)
LICK HERE

Cute newbie drops to her knees to swallow some random dude’s stiff cock
LICK HERE

TACO TUESDAYS
LICK HERE

Lifting the Sex Toy!
LICK HERE

Katerina Hartlova New Year Party
LICK HERE

Hayley Davies Threesome at the Laundromat!
LICK HERE

Milena Curvy I Shot Myself
LICK HERE

Naked Driver Touches Herself
LICK HERE

STARTING 24 WITH ANGELA
LICK HERE

Zuckerberg’s College Years
LICK HERE

Busty Katerina Soria via Fancentro
LICK HERE

Nasty Office Antics with Skylar Snow!
LICK HERE

Bath Salts Ruin Gangbang
LICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | Patreon! | SNAPCHAT | Follow
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2024

02

Jan

Heidi Klum Topless on the Beach of the Day

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2023 has been the year that Heidi Klum has used her daughter’s tits to get as much attention as Heidi Klum can get for being the womb that shat out those tits.

It seems she’s making 2024 the year of her tits, at least that’s what I am running with because her tits are out, they are pretty great since they are old as shit and have a bunch of kids, almost like they’ve been rebuilt over the years, since rotting does happen to all women even if they pretend it doesnt’…

We’ve been seeing her tits for 30 years of Victoria’s Secret. She has been optimizing her career through the tits and the tits have done well for her, so of course they come out when the paparazzi are around, since she knows she’s got great tits and wants everyone else to know she does too, she’s an exhibitionist who is known to be hot, living up to her reputation and the reason she has a fat bank account, it’s narcissism, it’s great, and it is because she has a mental break knowing she’s about to be a senior who can command the senior discount….so. she’s fighting the inevitable and it’s alright with me cuz I’ll stare at old rotten tits, even if they weren’t as nice as Heidi for the paparazzi tits.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Heidi Klum

2024

02

Jan

Eva Longoria Yacht Girl of the Day

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Since I love Mexico and Mexican women, except maybe my prostitute mom who died of AIDS in the 80s, but I’m not one of those damaged victim losers who hold grudges and who blames their miserable life, their unhappiness, their terrible choices on other people, like parents, exes or trauma….I hold no real grudges because I am too fucking lazy and the fact that a prostitute mom did not kill me off is actually a win, a huge positive thing for society as a whole because I get to update this site in what will be 20 fucking years this November…I started it in 2004. Shocking. Miserable but also pretty hilarious, the longest running troll I’ve ever committed to and it’s allowed me to meet all of you.

Anyway, since I love Mexican women, I feel compelled to post content from the famous Mexican women, like Eva Longoria who is arguably the most OVERRATED Mexican woman, one I assume barely even speaks Mexican because as a first generation she shunned her amazing Mexican culture to be the whitest of white gringo fucks at the mall plotting her takeover of Hollywood that would DEFINITELY include exploiting being a marginalized Mexican women, even though she likely employs marginalized Mexican maids for her LA house just to assert her dominance like humping dog at the dog park.

I guess what I am saying is that my love for Mexican women runs deep, but some don’t quite make the cut when they’ve shunned Mexico unless it’s beneficial for their bullshit. Eva Longoria is the worst.

She’s in a bathing suit though, so tits in a bathing suit, not quite the taco we’d want to eat, but it’s something for the brainwashed Longoria fans.