DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2018

09

Aug

Braless and Old Charlize Theron in Some Pussy Hugging Leggings of the Day

Old Charlize Theron the killer who her mom too the fall for – after they allegedly killed her abusive father -but that no one went to jail for – because South Africa is crazy like that. I mean I’ll assume he wasn’t black, but if he was, they’d probably encourage the white Afrikaans kill him off. They are a racist people…while in this case, I’ll just assume he was a diddler, and Charlize got diddled, forcing her like other children who were diddled to run off to America an sex work….you know to show the people what she had so much experience in…like an athlete who trained at a young age…only far dirtier, darker and understanding of the ability to manipulate men to give you what you want, which in Old Charlize Theron’s case was an OSCAR.

Point being, from daddy killer, to Playboy Playmate, to Model to Actress to Braless Hard Nippled with a Cameltoe looking not nearly as battered as you’d expect.

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Posted in:Charlize Theron|SFW

2018

09

Aug

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio is still bikini modeling, which is so silly, because she’s so old, but is not so silly because she looks so good, and probably has to work really fucking hard at looking good, because she’s so old.

I find it weird, and it is probably thanks to social media, in other circumstances this woman would be taken out to pasture like the old cow that she is, but thanks to instagram accounts with lots of followers thanks to a recognizable name and tons of half naked slutty whore sex worker promo model pics…..they can still sell product through her.

It’s like the Kardashians, if Instagram wasn’t consistent in keeping people locked the fuck in, the fans never unfollow and you have an old bitch like this still doing her dancing monkey nonsense half naked..which isn’t terrible…but is kind of embarassing cuz she’s old and rich give it up already.

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Here’s some more of her being a bikini slut…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2018

09

Aug

Angela Simmons Does the Pussy Dance of the Day

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Just cuz Angela Simmons barely exists. I mean she’s Russell Simmon’s niece and I guess Run from Run DMCs daughter, which is enough touch points to matter in a world obsessed with pop culture and celebrity….cuz they like rich people…who sing songs that they either grew up on…or remember because it’s some of the most commercial rap music to ever happen….

Speaking of Touch Points. Who’s the latest girl Russell Simmons has done some trantric Yoga poses up inside without her consent? Because with all that stupid money from the 80s that helps this Angela be an instagrammer doing a pussy dance…comes an entitlement knowing that pussy is readily available to experience that rich life and with that comes the ability to do whatever you want to them, at least you could, and get away with it, until you dump them and move on and they make a thing about it, thanks to not getting what they want out of him anymore…a series of using each other gone bad….

Which has nothing to do with Angela Simmons, unless of course uncle Russell was one of those kinds of uncles…and you never know…rich people are fucking crazy.

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Posted in:Angela Simmons|SFW

2018

09

Aug

Meg Ryan Bikini of the Day

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Meg Ryan or some other Melanie Griffith looking, old as fuck Hollywood starlet that people thought was hot, and that was cast in all the romantic comedies that came out before she turned 100 fucking years old, is in some bikini top and some shorts looking good enough to look at, even if you weren’t into Meg Ryan when she was winning at life, while everyone thought she was so cute, when Tom Hanks was Sleepless in Seattle over her, when…I don’t know what else she was in…but it was a lot of fucking things….only to be forgotton…but nothing like a bikini top to be never forgotten…

Not that any of this matters, it’s just a BONERFEST for all of us….if this is what a bonerfest looks like….which is kind of depressing…but thanks to face injections on these old bitches and some pilates and yoga sessions…thanks to being rich…they all manage to have the face of a busted up pornstar…making these menopause almost the way menopause should be seen…sexy cuz you can cum in them and they don’t get pregnant…

YOU KNOW…I KNOW…WE KNOW.

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Posted in:Meg Ryan|SFW

2018

09

Aug

Irina Shayk Bikini of the Day

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I am like most of you, who lives in the past, I mean I have a fucking blog, who has a fucking blog, no one has fucking blogs, not even teen girls have blogs, there’s this thing called social media that allows people to blog without having to run a website of their own to drive traffic to it, which is old school…when you can just give this dude with aspergers all your content to make billions off of…cuz you’re lazy.

That said, these Irina Shayk pics, since I live in the past, are ones I posted yesterday but figure, since I live in the past, and yesterday was the past, experience this with me….

Together…

We can not accomplish anything thanks to being debilitated by our ghosts of our past haunting us….

While this girl, accomplishes everything, thanks to having no soul and a vagina rich men like to fuck….

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Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2018

09

Aug

Lily Rose Depp Cankles of the Day

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I’ve been supportive of Lily Rose Depp and her spoiled brat rich kid, entitled as fuck, trying to make a name for herself living in one of her dad’s LA homes, even though the world is her Oyster, they have houses everywhere, yet LA is where she decides to settle…I mean she’s got a Euro Passport and could be in France or Spain or Greece or Italy, but why do that…when you can be amongst all the fame whores and paparazzi trying to perpetuate some bullshit storyline that is pop culture….

I’ve been to LA, and it’s some Disney Land plastic garbage that takes 1.5 hours to get anywhere, one giant concrete strip mall, with no fucking appeal unless you’re at the beach…while NONE of these people are at the beach..they are in the asshole that is Hollywood….

That said, in unrelated news, since the inception of Lily Rose Depp, coming out on her own to show the world she exists…I have noticed one thing about her…one thing I’ve ignored, despite typically being a bully who focuses on all the flaws of these flawed humans we celebrate for no reason other than marketing….

That flaw is the worst Flaw of all…one you can’t get face injections to fix….it’s a structural thing…

That flaw is Cankles….

This bitch has cankles…and I’ve seen them from day one, noticed them, ignore them..but like anyone who’s fucked a bitch with cankles know…you can’t ignore that shit forever…eventually it haunts you…

I am haunted by them…

The cute Johnny Depp daughter…is now just one big cankle to me…

Tragedy has struck, not in a mass shooting, not in a mass outbreak of disease…but in one potentially hot rich girl’s lower leg….let’s mourn that shit…candle light vigil that shit….

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This is her anguished in sadness because she’s dealing with cankles…and bitch knows…there is nothing you can do, but luckily…you’re rich…

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MORE CANKLES

Posted in:Lily Rose Depp|SFW

2018

09

Aug

Rachel Bilson Inception Tits of the Day

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Here’s some Rachel Bilson, who hasn’t been interested since the 1990s show the OC….but who was abducted by a Canadian actor, who was barely an actor, but got the role of young Luke Skywalker, solidifying his place in the world, where he kept her in a cage like his prized hen or stag back on his Ontario farm, that he got to knock up and breed with before she decided to escape 10 years later, hoping back on the scene tits out…too little too late…but we’ll always remember Summer before she was a mom aged girl with mom tits…just not very well..it wasn’t that memorable of a show really.

Posted in:Rachel Bilson|SFW

2018

09

Aug

Ruby Rose as Bat Trans Woman of the Day

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I don’t understand dudes who are all hyped on Ruby Rose, I actually never met dudes hyped on Ruby Rose, but if I did, it would be safe to say they are faggots, or lesbians, as we aren’t supposed to be coded to be turned on by a female Bieber with dark hair and tattoos, it’s weird.

The only people I think that like Ruby Rose, are the people who control the media, liberal women, and those liberal women like her because she looks like a dude and allows them to feel more open with their sexuality because they can say they had lesbian feelings once when imagining frenching Ruby Rose after a marathon on Netflix with one too many glasses of Rose.

I have been consistent in my messaging. If you look at Ruby Rose objectively, not with dick in hand while jerking off a few years back when you were into tattooed women back when it was a trend, but is no longer a trend, sorry tattooed women you’re stuck being off trend….

She’s a fucking boy and you’re a pedo.

That said, Hollywood is repetitive, they try to leverage hype to promote garbage and are using her as their new Batwoman in crap that will be popular, because you’re all a bunch of Queers into comic books…

Here she is at some event looking like Celine Dion….

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Her official status celebrating being “bat woman”

This is something I would have died to have seen on TV when I was a young member of the LGBT community who never felt represented on tv and felt alone and different.
Thank you everyone. Thank you god.

Shut the fuck up bro.

Posted in:Ruby Rose|SFW

2018

09

Aug

Selma Blair Bikini of the Day

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Yo, Selma Blair, that’s where you went 10 years ago when everyone forgot you…off somewhere in a bikini…like a Castaway on some Swiss Family Robinson shipwrecked shit, only intentional because the heat in the Hollywood Kitchen was too hot to handle…but you’ve washed up ashore thanks to a little raft you made from twigs, shells and your vaginal mucus that strangely got thicker and thicker each year out there without the proper hygiene tools needed to clean up after fucking yourself with a piece of coral one night after getting drunk on your fermented coconut meat….Pirate Shit…

I don’t know where I am going with this, but girl’s been invisible, and now she’s found, and it’d be a celebration, if she wasn’t 50.

Old as fuck.