DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

11

Apr

Jordana Brewster is Skinny in a Bikini of the Day

Jordana Brewster is skinny…and I like it….more girls should starve themselves especially in this body positive era. Skinny is more rare, more premium, more erotic….

Jordana Brewster was a teen soap star in the 90s, which means at least one of you jerked off to her when you called in sick, took the day off school, or was on disability because you’re a retard…and soap opera’s were your porn…it was 1995…and dial-up internet was annoying with the slow loading pictures and no videos…

Since then she’s turned 37…

She’s best known for being in every Fast & Furious movie…I’ve never seen any, but I know people, usually the worst fucking people love those movies, and when they take a minute away from jerking off to PAUL WALKER and VIN DIESEL…this pussy makes the experience more hetero…like the time I found out someone I know gave Vin a blowjob, a girl, which debunked all the gay assumptions I hate about it…straight for PAY…cuz you can’t be a terrible acting action star who makes billions if you’re an out of the closet homo..all the jacked up steroid frat boys who love him would be confused….

This isn’t about them..it’s about an old lady like Jordana Brewster…surviving, thriving,striving, in a bikini to help promote their new installment….

I call this – not quite menopausal, at her sexual prime, but probably not getting her period thanks to starvation…which means no unwanted pregancy, not that you can relate to that. Your dream is to have a woman let you knock her up so that you have something more than your empty life and so that you are never alone. HOT.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jordana Brewster|SFW

2017

11

Apr

More Menopausal Cindy Crawford in a Bikini of the Day

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Menopause is a lovely thing…..because the sex drive goes up, the pregnancy rate goes down to zero, the vagina dries up so you feel the friction, and if you can see past the melting skin….and the boxy hips….and a barrel looking body….and close your eyes and imagine she was Cindy Crawford of the past…or look at her young daughter she’s been exploiting in her bikini and mental image that shit for the spank bank / it’s good for your focus, imagination and creativity…it is how I fight alzheimers or becoming a complacent weirdo who just stares and content fed to me….

I know it’s what the Husband does….if his sperm made her…it can come to her…I mean that’s all speculation and what I would do if I was in his place…rich people…you know….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|SFW

2017

11

Apr

Madonna’s Daughter is Not That Hot But She’s Alright in a Bikini of the Day

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Lourdes Leon – MADONNA’s daughter…struggling with the rough life of having everything you want – while wearing a bikini in Miami…

She’s probably all kinds of fucked in the head…or maybe she’s been raised totally normal and removed from the Spotlight – and has no idea her mom is Madonna….

From my expert opinion…She’s a little too latin peasant looking – mixed with some dirty Italian widow working the market with her moustache – like the worst parts of two parts of the world….where she’s got some pretty bad traits from both species of human – but at least she’s not fat.

I like her MOM knuckle tattoo – because MOM’s crazy money will allow her to be all creative and not need to work a job…..so that tattoo, that would be frowned upon for the rest of the world, unless you work at some hipster cafe or bar, is perfectly fine for her…because she’s Madonna’s daughter…the spawn of the narcissist…who will inherit all the narcissist has…and who gets to live of it while she’s alive…because celebrities are known for being great parents who raise great kids…

TRUST FUND. Nothing wrong with a Trust fund, even if girl doesn’t do anything substantial with it….

Her tits look good though.

I like hairy bitches, but her hairy pits and hairy stomach don’t really make sense with a stubbly shaved pussy…it’s like choose your battle and own it you flimsy detached delusional rich kid….I love bush, she’s a hairy little monster and probably has bush, but not the kind of bush I need….sticking out of every angle of her bikini bottoms…if you’re going to exploit your hairy Italian monkey genes…do it where it matters…CUNT SIDE…that’s like courtside….the place to be…but in reference to CUNT…clever right….sure I see her treasure trail…like the rodent she is…but pussy hair is the hair we can’t have an abundance of….fake feminist.

Her ass looks alright though…

I guess she’s not that bad, I just find her being a product of Madonna something annoying….and sure it’s not her fault, don’t target the celeb child, but the celeb child is the one posing for the paparazzi…

SHE wants this….all of this…it gives her something to do, her own identity…but not really…she can’t escape Madonna…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lourdes Leon|SFW

2017

11

Apr

Paula Bulczynska in Some Campaign Shoot of the Day

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Paula Bulczynska is some low level Russian in America model – who typically gets nude while trying to get herself famous…

I’ve posted her before, because she reminds me of a couple of Russian hookers, we named the Russian Mafia, because we wanted to make them feel like they weren’t hookers, but part of an organized crime ring, rather than girls desperate to fuck for money, because they have no souls and that kind of thing doesn’t affect them on an emotional or spiritual level, but instead buys them designer purses.

So it turns out that Paula Bulczynska may not be Russian, but Polish, but I’ll still call her Russian because I haven’t accepted the fall of the Iron Curtain and all of the Eastern Block is RUSSIAN to me….something she escaped to work in the sex trade, we call “modeling” which is better than pissing on command on a webcam show…in a room you can’t escape from because there are guards…I mean…at least the setting is more luxurious….

Either way, this model got a job shooting for a campaign as these things happen…

Posted in:Paula Bulczynska

2017

11

Apr

Drunk Couple Caught Asleep Mid Act…and Other Videos of the Day

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Woman Falls Out of a Harness on Some Ride

How United Airlines Treats their Customers – OLD video but whatever.

Dear Takes Out a Dude

Man Attacked by a Snake in a Videogame Shop

Ex Mayor Drives Ferrari Through the Mall

Road Rage Gets Out of Hand

Dude Who Set Fire of the House of the Girl He Raped and Killed her and Her Grandparents – Commits Suicide

Cop Kicks Face of a Detained Black Man

Kids Try to Steal Car Mirrors – Dude Shoots at them From His Balcony

Newsreader Drops F Bomb

Idiot Drops Cash After Robbery

Drunk Dude

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2017

11

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I am a little slow starting to my day – because of alcoholism, but more importantly, because despite not really craving mainstream success, or any success, while being perfectly content just coasting here…I realized I had a get rich quick scheme brewing in my head….so I had to work on it…

I spent the night calling hospitals, trying to find out where Bruce Jenner got his dick cut off, hoping one of them would go dumpster diving to find his dick so that we can all be millionaires….some weirdo sports collector would buy that…

Unfortunately, no luck, you gotta do these things yourself I guess…but we’re working against the clock, there is an urgency…it is flesh and will rot…

So if you have any leads on Bruce Jenner cock, let me know, we’ll do this together…I’d dumpster dive looking for his cock myself…but I am in Canada and I feel like Trump’s Border won’t like that “why are you coming the USA”…reason…even though Bruce Jenner is an American Hero and I’m doing it for the fucking SMithsonian…next to the first Star Spangled Banner…..THIS IS AMERICA….what do you mean why am I crossing the border…

You AMericans say you’re Patriotic – but have you been digging through dumpsters looking for Bruce Jenner cock? Exactly. Lies. All Lies.

Here are some stepLINKS.

Charlize Theron in Madonna Cosplay
CLICK HERE

Bruce Jenner Chopped His Dick Off….
CLICK HERE

Dog VS Soccer Match
CLICK HERE

Ass in the Bath GIF
CLICK HERE

Brad PItt and Sienna Miller are Fucking
CLICK HERE

Thor Trailer
CLICK HERE

Death Match Wrestling!
CLICK HERE

Hot Ass checking Her Records
CLICK HERE

Bad Lip Reading of The Force Awakens
CLICK HERE

Liz Hurley Running on a Beach in Slow Motion
CLICK HERE

Two Asses are Better than One
CLICK HERE

Bella Hadid – Nike Sposored Cameltoe
CLICK HERE

Tori Wilson Looks Hot
CLICK HERE

Selena Gomez Slut on Social Media
CLICK HERE

The Matrix Starring Will Smith
CLICK HERE

Big Tits Pump Gas
CLICK HERE

Bebe Rexha in a Tupe Top Bikini
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2017

10

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

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What know about obesity is that the fatter the worse she is to eat out. My wife keeps getting fatter and fatter, even when you think she’s capped out and it is not humanly possible to get any fatter, and that she is at her fattest, she brings more fat, you don’t notice it daily, but by the end of every year you’re like “how the fuck did that happen”…..”how is that possible…call GUINEESS this freak is real”…..but the real freak is me…because I have to eat her out to get her to cover the rent, it’s our deal..

She looks, tastes and smells like shit and she is shit, so sticking my tongue in shit isn’t that fun, it’s shitty. So whenever I’m going down on her, due to my lack of penis, I try to bite my tongue off as hard as I can, I figure, no tongue, never asked to eat her out again, and more importanlty, I won’t have to take calls from the tax people, or collection agents or really anyone….so make that blood spill out everywhere, be dramatic about it, so she knows I can’t continue, but I never do it, I just think about it usually around the time she starts peeing in my face…she calls it squirting…
I don’t know what this has to do with Passover or Jewish girls in tight skimpy workout shorts, but I’ll assume it’s more to do with Never winning. Always sucking at life and having that spill over into all I do…and think about like these stepLINKS…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Selena Gomez PDA on INSTAGRAM – YOUNG RICH INTERRACIAL LOVE – WHERE THE SEX TAPE
CLICK HERE

Mariah Carey Big Tits…..
CLICK HERE

Torrie Wilson Strong in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Mel B in a Dress that Isn’t Very Period Friendly
CLICK HERE

Bella Hadid – CUNT FIRST
CLICK HERE

BRUCE JENNER CHOPPED THE DICK OFF
CLICK HERE

Christian Bale – Method Actor
CLICK HERE

Busy Philips ALmost Got Murdered in an Uber
CLICK HERE

Irina Shayk Had Her Brad Cooper Baby
CLICK HERE

Cat Gets Destroyed Playing with Bunny
CLICK HERE

Kerry Washington at An Event With her Tits…
CLICK HERE

IF Every Wolverine Movie was Made like Logan
CLICK HERE

Brooke Burke Topless on the Beach
CLICK HERE

Soccer Miss from in front of the Goal
CLICK HERE

THe “Cash Me Outside” Girl Has a Dad and He’s Concerned
CLICK HERE
Cyclist Car Collides
CLICK HERE

Sarah Paulson – TOPLESS
CLICK HERE

How Jeans Were Invented
CLICK HERE

Christine Lakin – Worth Fucking
CLICK HERE

Ariel Winter Ass in Shorts….
CLICK HERE

Funny Girl Natasha Leggero Topless Leaked Nudes
CLICK HERE

Jasmine Tookes – Nipple
CLICK HERE

Camila Banus – Worth Fucking
CLICK HERE

Korean Hangover Cure
CLICK HERE

Miranda Kerr – Worth Fucking
CLICK HERE

The Difference Between Being Born Blind and Becoming Blind
CLICK HERE

Britney Spears Vegas Show To End Soon
CLICK HERE

Billie Lourd in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

People Have a Long Haired Woman Blowing Bubbles Fetish
CLICK HERE

Kara Del Toro Ass in Shorts
CLICK HERE

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From stepSMUT!! LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!
================

Slutty Stretch of the Day
CLICK HERE

Cam Girls Whoring…Cam Girls…
CLICK HERE

Accidental Anal – the Compilation
CLICK HERE

Naked Golfer Slut
CLICK HERE

Never Trust a Stranger in Thailand
CLICK HERE

CAR GASM
CLICK HERE

Just a Couple of Cocks After Class
CLICK HERE

Cop Body Slams Drunk Girl
CLICK HERE

Margot in Panties and Tweaking her Nipples
CLICK HERE

Random TUMBLR POrn
CLICK HERE

SLUTS LOVE TAKING SO MANY Naked Selfies of the Day
DON’T CLICK HERE

Amateur Foreplay
DON’T CLICK HERE

More Free Hot Girls Being Girls on Webcam – Better than Working Retail…
CLICK HERE

Find Local Girls TO Fuck RIGHT HERE
CLICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

WATCH OUR Q-Bong Snapchat Takeover – With a BIKINI BABE SUCKING ON PIPES
CLICK HERE

Find More Great Links Here….
DON’T CLICK HERE

///////////////////////////////////////////

FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR | SNAPCHAT

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Posted in:stepLINKS

2017

10

Apr

Liz Hurley Running in Slow Motion on the Beach of the Day

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It’s Passover Monday – which is a very important day if you are Jewish….at least I assume it is, as I am not Jewish and don’t know anything about this stuff, other than that I saw a lot of seemingly Jewish girls in tight hot shorts because it was the first hot day of the year and Canadians go nuts over that shit and strip the fuck down….

I didn’t see any bikinis, but seeing some winter weight in shorts…..is juicy…not that Jewish girls do winter weight, they do Pilates and Yoga and have the best trainers, unless they are the homely ones…..

Good thing I was in my soiled sweatpants I always wear…they hide my boners…even though sweatpants generally do the opposite for boners…thanks to barely having a boner…I blame obesity – but who knows…

The real miracle is that I still want to fuck old Liz Hurley in her bikini for her bikini business because I guess that’s what she’s about. It’s how she made it in Hollywood/ America and with Really rich dudes…

Posted in:Liz Hurley|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Ariel Winter’s Terrible Ass in Shorts of the Day

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Ariel Winter’s got cellulite on the front of her leg, that’s just how dumpy she is. But it’s nice to see her mooch boyfriend walk around with her, proud to be with her, because she’s famous and it’s good brand association, even though she looks like a dumpy fucking troll, pulling some FAT girl Body Positive – don’t body shame – bully – because all lives matter in this flimsy society of wimps..even fat girl lives…which goes against all of our core beliefs as humans….

She’s still 18 or 19 and young enough to not be unfuckable, but then again very little is unfuckable, the age counts for A LOT…but she will melt into the slop she looks like she already is…some JABBA the hut shit…and there will still be dudes willing to get in on that because they are weird perverts and she’s rich…

It amazes me that people find her hot. That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Candice Swanepoel Bringing Back the Sex Appeal of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is back, maternity leave is over, her starvation is still on but has paid off, after that whole birthing thing. She’s had her stomach dealt with in Miami so that the loose skin is gone, the tit sag that 90 percent of moms get gone, thanks to small implants, her face Botoxed cuz she’s pushing 30 and that’s what these girls need…and most importantly her vagina sewn up so that when she straddles chairs it doesn’t make her scream…in pain..not in orgasms…

I don’t know, moms who go back to modeling always freak me out. I mean sure she looks good – but it’s gross. Go back to being a mom not a topless slut on a chair trying to get media to land a rich husband…you’re past that….

I mean I always thought abortions were invtented to prevent this kind of thing, but here these girls are going and breeding….soon 80 percent of the Victoria’s Secret Roster – and Irina Shayk…will be fucking moms…not actually fucking moms…but moms….FUCK…

Their campaigns will be comparing SPANX and complaining about their husbands while sitting around Starbucks after Yoga class….

I NEED YOUNG BLOOD…but good ass shot girl…casual mom behavior you know…