DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

10

Apr

Jesy Johnston’ stepGIRLS Snapchat Takeover for Q-Bong of the Day

We had our friend Jesy Johnston test out our other friend Q-Bong’s product while in South Beach…all on stepGIRLS2 snapchat – because we are into doing friendly things with friendly people. It’s some Mr Rogers Sesame street – we are all god’s people so long as you look good in a bikini shit…..

This is how PRODUCT demos and Product Reviews NEED to be Done….

Q bong is a device for drinking, and I fucking love drinking, whether it’s frat boy drinking, or in the gutter in a ditch somewhere drinking, as long as there is drinking I am happy…

You see I am drunkenstepfather, so anything even remotely alcholic, from Rubbing Alcohol to rotting vegetables…I’m into getting it into me as fast as possible…

So with Q-Bong – you fill up a reservoir, SQUEEZE bulb that pressurizes it, open the valve and take on an alochol facial ideally down your throat like a good girl, as fast as you fucking can….

BRILLIANT…I know…and it’s also good to get other people drunk, because you know what happens when other people get drunk, just make sure they consent on video before you do anything stupid. Party Boy…

GET YOURSELF SOME Q-BONG NOW CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|stepGIRLS

2017

10

Apr

Magdalena Frackowiak Nude on the Beach of the Day

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Magdalena Frackowiak is a hot Polish, skinny, model who I have heard is a cunt…which is so shocking – because to some down on her luck, soulless Polish family created this tall skinny thing, sold her off to the world…through whatever channels it took….would make a bitch angry and dark….only to give her a contract with a huge brand, making her a million dollars a year or more, allowing her to live the American dream after the struggle and all the shit she’s seen and done….you’ve gotta expect a little “fuck you’ ego, annoyingness, and bratty behavior…because I know girls who aren’t VS models that are total materialistic cunts…you know that are the worst and haven’t seen anything this one has seen….so I guess it’s justified, at least that’s what Magdalena Frackowiak will want you to think while she throws some tantrum with her rich boyfriend – cuz you know these communists don’t date poverty…..

Posted in:Magdalena Frackowiak|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Kelly Brook Nude and Wrestling and Inflatable of the Day

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Kelly Brook is the worst…but watching her wrestle an inflatable while being a human inflatable is a fetish in and of itself…

I have a love hate relationship with her, which in and of itself is fucking weird since I have never met her and will never meet her, and really I am just having a relationship with pictures on a screen, which is probably not the weirdest thing I have had a relationship with, but it is up there…

She’s got these massive tits, that sometimes come with a massive everything else because she’s pushing 40 and like most girls with big tits she gets fat easily…but right now…she’s not at her fattest….

So that love/hate relationship with her is that I love big tits, they are fun. I love desperation that makes a girl pull out her tits in photos to become a titty model…and I love when it works to a certain level…because it encourages other girls to show their tits…but I hate that when they make it, they forget they are a titty model, they forget their whore roots, and think they are actual talent…

I do miss the days of making fun of her miscarriage…that I am sure was an abortion that led her to America to live out the America dream….

I don’t like this implied nudity shit…come on fatty…show me labia like you used to back when you cared…

Posted in:Kelly Brook|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Anna Kournikova is Back with her Bikini Top of the Day

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Anna Kournikova is the reason the site is alive…

I’ve had three major traffic on this site, where I hit over 300,000 people in one day, the biggest day was when I was given the Farrah Abraham squirting clip promoting her first sex tape and Gawker linked it up…

The second was the first 6 weeks of doing the site when Anna Kournikova was on the beach in a yellow bikini – pulling sand out of her vagina…a post that went viral before viral was a thing…it was 2004…a post that ended up inspiring at least 2-3 people I know to become big players in the internet space….a post that made me feel the need to update this bullshit for the rest of my fucking life…

So thank her for ruining my life, while staring at her hot Tennis player that was barely a tennis player but is still a Tennis Player her fucks Enrique Iglesisas….

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Rachel Hilbert in Maxim Lookin’ Good of the Day

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YOU CAN SEE HER NIPPLES…

Rachel Hilbert is some new recruit Vitoria’s Secret fashion model, I didn’t bother looking her up to see who her family is, or how rich they are, even though I assume that like the other recruits, she’s just another rich kid trying to validate her existence through modeling, which isn’t a new thing, it’s been going on for years…decades even…rich kids just look better and have the resources to go to all the cool parties and eventually make a career out of it, thanks to their whore mothers being hot enough to land their rich dads…you know how it is…

She did Maxim, she is looking alright I guess…even if I prefer seeing spread asshole, with vagina in it, it makes me feel like I can see their soul and that I know it’s real..

But If you’re going to book one client early on in your career, VS is a good one…and prevent you from pervert spread asshole photoshoots I crave..

BUT YOU CAN SEE HER NIPPLES>

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rachel Hilbert|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Monster Kylie Jenner Eating Tacos of the Day

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Kylie Jenner is a monster….

Kylie Jenner terrifies me….

Kylie Jenner is some weird product of Kim Kardashian’s period that crew in their basement floor next to Bruce’s vagina.

She is 19 but looks 45, her body shape fucking strange, her ass not that of a Jenner but of some cartoonist….her face all injected and looking like meat is stapled to it…a disaster…that has a lot of young stupid fans making her millions of dollars….despite how freakish she looks…

I don’t get it…but it exists…

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Bella Thorne Nipples Pulling Down Her Pants and Showing Nipple Ring of the Day

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Bella Thorne posts racier content on her snapchat than her instagram – because I guess snapchat doesn’t live forever, or maybe snapchat doesn’t hate nipples, and Bella Thorne is an exhibitionist who is just having fun – like a candy coated Disney bred, Miley Cyrus type, tapping into the internet’s version of hip, edgy, and naked for art, feminism, body positive…but ultimately attention…and attention she’ll get as long as she stays fit, tight bodied, young, and an exhibitionist.

The world is really that simple. Give a girl a child star role in a Disney production and for the next 20 years…people will be interested to look at her tits, like they are interested in looking at all tits, but that her tits seem more important because they know about them, rather than having to dig through the internet to find all the amateurs putting out tits..

This one is real…she’s got an AGENT a Manager a TV show…Movies…and still is a little perv on social media…WONDERFUL.

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Kate Beckinsale Freakishly Hot in a Bikini of the Day

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Kate Beckinsale must have made a deal with one of the nerds who was obsessed with her – in some Weird Science kind of way – because she doesn’t age….not to mention she’s from the UK and if you know anything about women from the UK, 99 percent of them are monsters with rotting teeth, trashy living in Caravans with Clown looking massive tits….

She’s hot….she’ skinny…she’s a mom in her 40s….

I’ve never seen Underworld, but it is the only thing that she’s ever done, and I do know that it’s about vampires…which could explain whatever is going on in these bikini pics, you know with the whole vampires don’t age…but vampires aren’t real…but apparently Beckinsale is….

Maybe she’s just CGI, you know an animation…I mean these pics are a little grainy…maybe these are from two decades a go and she built out a catalog back then and just posts old content pretending it is current….and any Kate Beckinsale pubic appearances are photoshopped or holograms – because she’s not quite famous enough to matter – she could go unnoticed and you could easily create an illusion of success and fame….without even existing…but it’s good to pretend she exists while jerking off to her bikini body….because if it was an animation, you’d be weird, but you are weird and you are a creepy…but you already know that.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Bella Hadid Tight Pants of the Day

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Bella Hadid is wearing some silly looking Star Wars pants that we can assume she is getting paid to wear – partially because they are so stupid and Sci/Fi looking that you’d have to be getting paid to rock a branded product so hard….and because she’s a modern day money grubbing whore, who despite her rich father, wants to get as rich as she can on her own, so that together they can all talk about how much money they have..living the American dream as the first generation she is….both her mom and dad are immigrants…and could have been prevented and replaced with the likes of Honey Boo Boo if only Trump was in office in the early 90s when she was born…making her unfortunately not someone we can deport…but apparently someone everyone fucking wants to hire…and does hire…making this suck up groupie exist…even though she’s not that hot…..

I guess these also look like long underwear, or mens briefs with leggings….some TIGHtY whities…some gender bending….cuz it looks like she has a dick and she may have a dick…I haven’t seen anything to prove otherwise…

Weird fucking workout pants…

Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Heidi Klum Bikini Tits of the Day

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Here’s some Heidi Klum trying to Amy Winehouse and go back to black….because you know as you get older, your vagina gets bigger, and has new requirements…especially after you spent your 30s getting fucked by voice of an Angel, real life beauty and beast, Seal….with a penis the size of a average man’s thigh…..something only a German could handle…preferably lubed up with feces…because Germans are fucked and if you don’t believe me – ask all the surviving Holocaust jews that are in their 80s at your Passover Seder tonight….

From practicing the chocolate in her mouth, to the subtle cock teasing in her bikini strip, making the poor – literally poor – Turks and Caicos boat man feel uncomfortable because he’s not allowed to fuck the clients…BUT it’s Heidi Klum…right…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Heidi Klum|SFW