DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

11

Jan

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

I accidentally walked into an event – because I heard there were free drinks – that I guess was targeting young people who are addicted to the internet / instagram – because there were actual “selfie stations” where people were supposed to take selfies..for their social media…and like drones, they all lined up to get their selfie….like drones…because people are all fucking drones…and other people follow the drones…and the leader drones are following other drones…in a world of fucking robots…

There was a moment in the night where I looked at the dance floor, and not anyone was having fun, they were all dancing for snap chat…even the fucking DJ – who had a camera on her at all times….like zero was real, in the moment or interesting…

It’s safe to say…the end is near…the singularity is happening…and it’s all because the internet’s gone mainstream….and the mainstream doesn’t have the mental capacity to handle it…so they just selfie their way through it…

It’s terrible….and I didn’t get a blowjob in the bathroom like I set out to…because apparently…these people don’t watch porn…they just watch them damn selves…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Workout Twerk Video of the Day
CLICK HERE

Some Girl in Lingeire….named Caroline Kelley…
CLICK HERE

Ozzy Man Commentating Cricket!
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Christina Milian – Has Nipples
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Mariah Carey – Still Going On About her New Years…
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Mining Lithium for your Batteries
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Liquid Nitrogen Vs Pepsi
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Elle Fanning Dress is Creepy AS Fuck
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Casey Affleck Jerks Off to Vicky the Robot – Whatever that Is
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2017

10

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

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The only emails I get are from girls who want me to remove nude pics that I’ve posted – or that are posted in the stepFORUM ….because they either found Jesus, found a husband, or are trying to find a job….and they have second thoughts about their nudes they took years earlier…

I generally respond with “send more nudes”….or “I’ve seen your butthole, does that make us officially in a relationship”…..

They usually don’t respond…but today’s response was so good….

Hi
I won’t send you photos to nobody.
They have not authorization to stay on web.
So i won’t send you nothing.
Regards

Love definitely happened….Here are some stepLINKS…

Kim Kardashian’s Paris Chauffeur Was Arrested
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Nicola Peltz in Black Tights
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Christina Milian See Through
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Getting Bike off Electric Fence…
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Rat Cow Panty Flash
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Elizabeth Olsen Nipple
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More Elizabeth Olsen
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Rare Two-Tailed Gecko
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Animated History of Russia
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J.Lo Cameltoe
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Lindsay Lohan Quit Instagram
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Golden Retriever Dog Sledding
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Karlie Kloss – Working Out
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Driving Ski Towed by a Car
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Guide to Predicting Oscars
CLICK HERE

Why Stepping on LEGO Hurts So Much
CLICK HERE

Drunk Gardener
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Rumer Willis Tits
CLICK HERE

SUV Through Comic Book Store
CLICK HERE

Charlotte McKinney in Leather
CLICK HERE

Elsa Hosk – Victoria’s Secret
CLICK HERE

TV Food Star in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Tom Hiddleston Is Sorry for His Acceptance Speech
CLICK HERE

Rare Two Tailed Gecko
CLICK HERE

Flat Iron Pops Popcorn
CLICK HERE

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From stepSMUT!! LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!
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Today’s Random Tumblr Porn
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Hot Amateur Titty Dance
CLICK HERE

Ball Buster of the Day
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Daisy Lowe on all Fours
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Girl and her Sweet Pussy
CLICK HERE

Naked Chick of the Day
CLICK HERE

Naked girl with a Hose
CLICK HERE

Old Dude Hooks Up with a Raver and it is Amazing
CLICK HERE

SLUTS LOVE TAKING SO MANY Naked Selfies of the Day
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Check Out My Hot Sauce Photoshoot with Dead Fish and Tits…
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Find More Great Links Here….
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2017

10

Jan

Helen Mirren Nude in the Bath of the Day

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This is the other highlight of my very pathetic, very hungover, dying of Tequila poisoning day….

Some busty Helen Mirren did some nude bathtub shoot, I don’t know when, I don’t know where, I don’t know why, but it happened…maybe 50 years too late…but she’s been topless before…

this is just bringing it back and her tits are as awesome as you’d expect…

The good news is that she’s submerged and her tits are floating….because if this standing naked in front of you…is probably more of “fuck her cuz she’s famous, do it for the story, get paid to do it” situation…or a take what you can get…and you’re horny”….with tits that you could tell were once were wonderful…but that lost their glory as you try to figure out how her nipple got caught in her loose vagina lips…..

The point is that I have never had a thing for old ladies, they are disgusting, their bodies melting, their vaginas as saggy as their tits, and I see no point to them unless you are her sugar baby….cashing in, or into cumming in girls and not impregnating them, and/or if you have grandma issues – like daddy issues but for baked goods and the sweet smell of bengay….but I have fucked old women….I worked in an old folks home in my younger years and saw some shit….actually a lot of shit…I wish I didn’t have to clean up…and only a dozen times in those 4 years did I fuck old women…most had dementia and had no idea what was happening…and couldn’t report me…and most importantly I didn’t leave any marks because my dick hardly touched the vagina walls…plus there was so much KY Jelly available…maybe I do have a thing for old ladies…because I have a boner looking at these…they are hot….and I blame being bored of all the hot chicks in their hot chick poses…there is so much of that shit…when all I really want is some Mirren tit.

Posted in:Helen Mirren

2017

10

Jan

Old Dude Makes Out with Raver of the Day

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This video is everything – a little sex tourism…where fat ethnic girls in bikini bottoms wasted as fuck will make out with a dude as long as he’s white enough and paying her 10 dollar fee….

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2017

10

Jan

US Gymnasts in SI Swim of the Day

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Show your American pride – by jerking off to the US Gymnast team in their bikinis for Sports Illustrated Swim’s 2017 magazine, yes they still do that magazine, even though everyone and their brother, mother and sister is a fucking bikini model these days thanks to social media…making the bikinis on successful athletes seem useless – in a produced photoshoot that would be better if it was a selfie – because people fucking love selfies….and apparently producing their own photoshoots…making this seem so silly…but it makes SI money, it’s their biggest selling issue, but not nearly as relevant as it once was – because people could jerk off to bikinis…and not just on girls they know on their facebook in bikinis, because bikinis aren’t throat fucking porn, the taste of people’s masturbation – but it’s nice to see the people at SI are dabbling in fetish content now – midgets with muscles who can eat their own assholes…with American pride component…brilliant.

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2017

10

Jan

Christina Milian See Through of the Day

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Christina Milian was invited to a red carpet event – where there would be paparazzi – and she took advantage of the situation by saying “Hey, I’m here, look at me…and my tits”…in a whole “I had a music video once many years ago – and I married a rich dude and now i want to be a kardashian….so look at my tits”….situation…

I think she’s the worst, probably the worst mother….but that would make sense, pawn that money maker off to your own mom, you have parties to attend with your tits…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christina Milian

2017

10

Jan

Amanda Seyfried Not Pregnant in Vogue of the Day

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Amanda Seyfried is historically boring as fuck, but not that boring, since she’s pregnant and that required injecting sperm directly from her penis into her womb…with a married dude who figured he’s in too deep, is going to get busted for his cheating, and might as well commit to the cause….because she’s hot…even though 99 percent of the time she’s dressed like she’s got her period, unshowered, lazy, homely…and I guess that alone makes a bitch hot, so long as she’s not fat, because there’s nothing worse than these social media whores always taking selfies and looking in the mirror…the subtle hot chick who is also a millionaire from being a shameless actor in movies…is the answer…

Anyway, she did vogue, probably too promote a movie, pre uterus exploding…and she’s amazing….I’m a fan and you are too…since the only person reading this is me…

I also love that Lindsay Lohan has told me personally that she hates her….because being hated by Lohan for stealing her jobs..is magical…

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried|SFW

2017

10

Jan

Kristen Bell Getting Ready for the Golden Globes of the Day

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Kristen Bell posed some snaps or pics of her getting ready – which gets the voyeuristic fetish that every mothefucker has and has always had..it’s why we gossip…it’s why we climb up trees to watch people change or shower…it’s the story of my fucking life…yet I hate social media, I hate snapchat, I hate youtube and I hate VLOGS but maybe I just hate people – and liked when the internet was anonymous….or maybe I am just a creep who likes my voyeurism to be old school…and challenging..rather then served on a silver spoon….

Yet….she’s wearing butt pad underwear…showing it to the world…and there’s something, very little, but something magical about that..

She’s looking old, because she’s fucked with her face getting fillers, because girls don’t realize that gentle wrinkles doesn’t make you look old. but jacking your face does…but whatever…voyeurism…

Posted in:Kristen Bell|SFW

2017

10

Jan

Jenna Dewan Tatum Nude of the Day

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Here’s a picture of Jenna Dewan Tatum in bed…naked…probably creatively directed by your favorite male stripper Channing Tatum…who didn’t win the golden globe for the worst movie ever…but probably could have…because it required zero talent….like this pic…only…in this pic there is good back curvature and booty….

The only Jenna Dewan Tatum / Channign Tatum story I have for you, is that I was forced to watch Jupiter Rising yesterday and wanted to kill myself…and that I met one of his agents, who may have been a hipster lying about being his agent, but who I think was his agent….and he said he would drop off scripts at Channing’s house early in his career, and he’d open the door fully naked….and his wife would be fully naked…and they would try to get the agent naked….because they were having some “naked day”….and I thought that was one of the better Hollywood story I’ve heard from an agent, usually they are more cunty…and I’m more into showing their cunt…something Jenna Dewan Tatum isn’t doing….but that you now that cunt is grinding up on some bed sheets…and sometimes that’s enough..

Posted in:Jenna Dewan-Tatum|SFW

2017

10

Jan

Cenit Nadir Tits for God Knows What of the Day

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Who is…Cenit Nadir

What is…Cenit Nadir

I don’t fucking know, but I just looked her up and followed her on instagram…because she’s a solid level of ethnic…and she’s not overly followed….but she is signed….and she wants to be overly followed…and she exposes her tits to get there..

The kind of work ethic…I support…I appreciate…and I encourage…

If I could count the amount of times I’ve tried to get girls naked with promises of fame..