DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

03

Jan

Bregje Heinen Model Tits for Fashion of the Day

Bregje Heinen has some titties and looks good in Fashion magazine…because that’s just how things work out for models….

Bregje is probably best known for being in Victoria’s Secret and Sports Illustrated, but I like to think her real accomplishment is having the most disgusting sounding name, a name that sounds like a drunken college girl with an eating disorder after binging on a Starbucks muffin…something I find hot because I like skinny girls….or more approrpiately…Bregje sounds like a throat cancer that spread to the lungs stricken hooker with AIDS and Pneumonia smoking a cigarette through her tracheostomy hole while sucking a dick with her mouth…the throat removal makes her a huge hit in the community and allows her to take two dicks at the same time….before puking up all over you…something you’d think she couldn’t do with no gag reflex..but that being half dead while eating rotten food out of the garbage to survive probably contributed… to her “bregje, bregje, bregje” heaving all over your fucking bed.

Only Bregje looks better than she sounds, probably a good thing…since she sounds fucking gross…

Posted in:Bregje Heinen|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Hilary Duff Still Thick, Still in Hawaii, Still in a Bikini of the Day

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Hilary Duff just keeps getting better. There has historically always been at least one thick girl I’ve been into over the years. I normally love the skinny legs, but sometimes, a good thick bitch is what the soul craves…like a homecooked meal…or some comfort food…whether that thickness is solid muscle or a nice thick layer of fat hanging over it’s demin shorts or not…doesn’t really matter…what does matter is that I never thought much of Hilary Duff until she became a tank I want to be smothered by….in what is one of the weirder fetishes I blame her squatting on…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Eiza Gonzalez Bikini of the Day

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Eiza Gonzalez is some rich and possibly famous Mexican….for what I like to assume is her taco that she’s stuffed into a pair of really skimpy panties…a taco that if you look at the paparazzi pics…you can see in full cameltoe position…a taco that has allowed her to take her celebrity to America and do very important things like instagram model….and get into paparazzi pics wearing a bikini…without anyone actually knowing who she is…but who cares who she is, we are lazy and if she’s good enough for the paparazzi, she’s good enough for me to look at in a bikini, which as a Canadian isn’t saying much, because I look at every girl in a bikini in awe…we don’t get those in our parts…we get snowsuits…

I guess we are seeing fame happen….but the interesting thing about this isn’t who she fucks, how rich her dad is, whether she’s part of a Mexican drug cartel, or if she’s stealing white people jobs…like the luxurious work as a chamber maid in hotesl…

What does matter is that her instagram picture ABOVE…is edited so hard…versus her paparazzi pics that aren’t…leading me to think she thinks we are fools, or she likes to give herself more shape like all these girls on social media do…they are liars, it is all lies…and luckily for people like Eiza Gonzalez….she can eat a few extra corn tortillas and erase it all in post production…lies or she thinks we are a fool…or she knows it doesn’t matter dudes will still stare.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eiza González|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Big Jessica Simpson Tits for New Years of the Day

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Big Jessica Simpson, pushing 40, but still busty, because tits keep getting bigger and bigger, while the rest of her is at a manageable size, because I guess she gave up on the Texan BBQ and cakes post pregnancy, and realized that Weight Watchers was paying her a million dollars to get fit, but she had to get fit, to make the people who follow her and buy billions of dollars of her shitty trailer park, low end fat chick clothing really think that Weight Watchers did it…when we all know this girl couldn’t figure out a point system if it was being demonstrated to her by a retard kindergarten teacher using fucking animal shaped to help her work through the logic of the system….

Not that that matters, it’s all silly rich person celebrity business we don’t need to worry about…what does matter is that in the process of personal chefs and personal trainers…she’s managed to make that weight watchers money to add to her pile of money…but more importantly keep her tits…

And here she is sticking her tongue out in her casual “fuck you, I win”…kind of way…

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Irina Shayk in Vogue Brazil of the Day

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Irina Shayk is a wonderful creature, at least I think she’s a wonderful creature, and I’ll assume other people think she’s a wonderful creature, mainly people like Brad Cooper, because he has all the options of pussy in the world, but chose to knock her up, not that he had much of a choice, these things usually workout with a “hey I’m pregnant”….and dude freaking out before realizing he’s really rich and it’ll be fine, plus the kid will probably have good genetics, nice strong and Russian so why the fuck not…

But I am sure there are rich guys who obsess over the girls, I always position the girls as these hookers who are trying to please their man – to lock him down – through sex and being well behaved…but the reality is that when you’re a professional like Irina Shayk, you can reverse the roles and be a fucking tyrant that men try to please like a bunch of fucking groupies…

So the only whoring is that they only go for rich guys since they like money…the whole getting knocked up and being set for life is just a bonus…because dudes are usually the bigger emotional freaks when girls tell them they are leaving…because in every break-up I’ve seen, the dudes are the ones in bed crying and the girls are the ones out getting revenge sex with all their friends…because girls, especially Russians have no soul…they just ride off survival instinct..

This is for VOGUE brazil, pre pregnant, where she was plotting how to get the sperm stuck to her uterus…or possibly early pregnancy where you’d still want to fuck her, knowing she can’t get pregnant, like any of you losers wouldn’t want to get this one pregnant, so that you have proof she let her fuck her..

I think she’s wonderful…likely evil…but wonderful…

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Dude Rubs Chilli on his Girlfriend’s Tamp0n and Other Videos of the Day

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Religious Fail…..

Truck crush – the Audio is the best part

Old Man VS Donkey….

Car Polisher – Polishing Teeth

Tourist Taken Out by Lightning

Girl in Bikini Drilling an Ice Fishing Hole

The Least Festive new Years Countdown

Posted in:stepLINKS|stepNEWS

2017

03

Jan

Daisy Lowe in a Bikini of the Day

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My new favorite use of social media is maximizing the Geotag, because people love to post where they are – when they are they – like they forgot about the pervert creepy 1990s internet where everyone wanted to be anonymous due to crazy fucking people raping and killing you….

And the reason I like the geotag, is to remind people of the raping and killing potential of the internet and geotags…you’re not safe just because you bought into the whole giving yourself a virtual life that mimics your real life in a polarized, filted, bullshit way…so that your insecure ass looks cool…

I like to go to restaurants, click the geotag, find a hot chick in the place, google her, check her linked in, find out her dog’s name, and if I’m lucky find out her dad died when she was 6 – like I did yesterday – knowing that is a perfect opportunity for daddy issues…and girls with Daddy issues are the most fun….

So Daisy Lowe…”model”…is nice and thick but more importantly, she grew up without a dad – who ended up being a rich rockstar thanks to mom – who was married to Gwen Stefani and wanted everything from his past…including tranny fucking to go away…and what better way to make her go away than to give her money, and modleing career and an opportunity to show the world her big daddy issue tits…

I am a fan…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Daisy Lowe|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I wonder if jerking off in the hot tub will keep my cum alive and knock up a stranger…because in 2017, I’ve decided that I should have at least one random girl bring my child into fruition, and since all the crackwhores and my fat wife that are willing to have sex with me are all infertile for various reasons from HPV induced hysterectomy to being old and fat as fuck…I figure my best shot is saving up 400 dollars, renting a room at a fancy hotel, and jerking off in the hot tub – ideally when hot, young, rich girls are in there warming up, not overly disgusted by the fact that I’m in there casually jerking off, despite the fact that I haven’t showered in weeks, and that the water around me is brown from my grit…my true grit…

I guess I’ll find out, just send me 400 dollars to my paypal….

Here are some stepLINKS…

Leo in Mexico with Nina Agdal the Girl With the Massive Waterhead Forehead
CLICK HERE

Drake and J.Lo is a Publicity Stunt
CLICK HERE

Some Random Trick in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Jet Powered Snowboard
CLICK HERE

This is the Sad Story of a British Stripper Found 12 Hours Dead in a Strip Club in Australia
CLICK HERE

Will and Grace is Coming back To TV….why? Because the Actors Need Money
CLICK HERE

Why Are Dalmations the Choice at Fire Stations
CLICK HERE

The Best of French Prankster Remi
CLICK HERE

2017 Countdown Fireworks Movie Mashup
CLICK HERE

The Dick of Balloons
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2017

03

Jan

Big Girl Ashley Graham For the Chubby Chasers of the Day

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Terribly fat Ashley Graham – who shouldn’t be a model – but who is a model – because all is wrong in the fucking world and fat girls with ddecent fat girl features – like shitty teeth and big elephantitis mouth / nose / thighs and ass….perfect for her Black husband as they like this kind of thing…and good for brands that need fat chicks to support selling product to fat chicks – since the world is fat…and a bunch of chubby chasers apparently…

It’s a weird movement, give fat girls work as models, not clerks at Walmart but probably not as bad as her bowel movements that probably look terrible…and smell worse…because women may not shit…but fat chicks do…thanks to never stopping the feeding…

I guess these are her instagram pics, terrible…why are fat girls thinking they can seduce like hot girls…and why are people encouraging them…it’s wrong….it’s against nature’s way…but luckily diabetes will win…and we can all point and laugh…

Posted in:Ashley Graham|SFW

2017

03

Jan

Kate Hudson and Chelsea Handler on New Years of the Day

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A video posted by Kate Hudson (@katehudson) on Dec 31, 2016 at 6:56pm PST

I don’t know if that is a video of Goldie Hawn and her new face in a bathing suit on New Years Eve, or if that’s Chelsea Handler….or is it Kate Hudson…they all look the fucking same thanks to being mangled by the same surgeon – as these things happen when you’re an overpaid spoiled cunt from Hollywood…

I think Chelsea Handler is the one in the ski equipment, I am fascinated as to why anyone would invite her into their house, I guess everyone needs a little laugh and she’s the dancing monkey they’ve adopted or some shit….

But more importantly, if this is Kate Hudson, why does she look like that, and would she have the ability to drive a man to Suicide now…like she did in the past…I don’t think she does…because that”s what becoming washed up means…you can’t manipulate me, or men, or anyone with that only famous cuz of your parents – and you had a really good run of it pussy…NOT NOW ANYWAY…

Posted in:Kate Hudson|SFW