DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

13

Jul

Madison Beer Bikini Tit of the Day

Here’s some Madison Beer bringing the hard hitting content, her looking like she’s asleep, medicated or dead, which for some of you would be an invitation to jerk off on her while she’s sleeping, medicated, or dead….if you were to come across her at the park, in a ditch, on a couch at a party, you know at the bottom of the pool….you make it work….because you’re a hard worker, ambitious, motivated person…

Beer is known for her tits, I’m sure she likes to think she’s known for her shitty cover songs that made her famous, got her signed with Bieber, thanks to her mom channelling Bieber’s mom’s hustle….

I don’t think she’s got any hits, but she’s definitely got a set of tits, which is the kind of hit any girl trying to make it needs, so long as she poses laying down in a bikini with them, so that you can see the structure of said tits.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Madison Beer

2023

13

Jul

Tanline Thursday of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s a round-up of Tanlines to celebrate the sun, or chemicals that stain your skin like it was the sun, because everyone is scared of the sun, after seeing people like Margot Robbie’s sun damaged face, all mangled and 15 years older looking that it should be…

I am not a believer in climate change, or in the sun being a bad thing for us, since the sun is what makes everything grow and without it we’d all be dead.

I am not a believer in staining your skin with chemicals that your body absorbs either, because that shit seems cancer causing and gross..

But I like the effect fo the tanline, because seeing where clothing once was, knowing clothing is no longer there, speaks to my retard masturbating caveman brain.

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

2023

13

Jul

Dua Lipa Nipple of the Day

No Comments »

Dua Lipa has her nipples out.

The is the single most important pop star of the generation, at least that’s how I think she’s marketed, because she’s got international stardom and TikTok Hits, which is really where it’s at….you know so all the mindless, medicated, half retard girls of the world can sit their, eyes glassed over, singing her lyrics in some kind of medicated trance, because Josie and the Pussycats was a documentary, and this brainwashing shit through sound waves is fucking real….

I don’t know any of her songs, but I know that 90 percent of internet users know her songs, they see her as one of their own because she rose the ranks of Youtuber to international sensation, at least that’s the official storyline these manipulators tell us through their big budget marketing…

But it works out nicely for me, since Dua Lipa has her nipples out and I like nipples and thanks to LEADERS like DUA LIPA, so may girls walk around through everyday life with their nipples out, and I like nipples, so disrupters like DUA LIPA are key to our seeing of nipples through shirts because all these hive mind, brainless, medicated, half retard girls need a leader to guide them through their showing us their nipples….Dua Lipa, their trusted friend and mentor, helping them be their best version of themselves, by wearing sheer clothing.

To See Dua Lipa at the Barbie Premiere CLICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Dua Lipa

2023

13

Jul

Sophie Mudd Patriotic Mega Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I assume these Sophie Mudd tit in a bikini pics are from the Fourth, which was 8 or 9 days ago, which you may be thinking “why do I visit a daily updated blog for the latest and greatest in celebrity and celebrity adjacent titties, if the motherfucker takes 9 days to post Sophie Mudd, a budding young star, recently playing herself in The Idol, since those tits have leverage and influence”……not that anyone visits this blog daily, but you get what I am saying…..this should have been posted on the 4th…BUT THE TITS ARE SO BIG, it took 9 days to get around them….to them….because they’re the kind of tits you can get lost in like that actor they recent found dead….it takes months to recover the bodies…

What I am saying is, Sophie Mudd’s tits are so big, you almost feel bad for her, because they can’t be comfortable and must be a liability…blessing and curse shit…but more of a blessing because with the monster tits, I don’t know if she’d be playing herself on stupid TV shows….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Sophie Mudd

2023

13

Jul

Whitney Cummings Looks Fat of the Day

No Comments »

I used to think that I was a Comedy snob, not because I think I am funnier than most people, even though I am, but because I never find comedians funny. They seem desperate, try hard, losers who practice in front of the mirror, running the same joke over and over to tell the same joke over and over and that’s pretty trash….

But maybe I was like “hating to hate”, unable to see the GOLD that these BRILLIANT minds come up with…

As it turns out, I just don’t find commercial comedy that funny, these people just aren’t that funny, but this picture of Whitney Cum Dumpster in her full form of being cum dumped in, is pretty hilarious…

A pregnant 50 year old holding her tit with her baby growing up inside her, best joke ever….but the nice thing about it is that she didn’t use all her riches from tricking idiots into thinking she was comedic, by paying some immigrant 150k to have her baby for her, like the baby is a designer purse, like all those other old tired sluts with too much money are doing…..

Why carry a baby the way you were built, connecting you to your child in the most amazing way, when there are Mexicans ready to do it for you….DISGUSTING people…

Whitney Cumming pregnant may be disgusting, but not THAT disgusting, so I support the weird pregnant lady all hormonal getting naked in selfies for the internet like she’s important and people care, but maybe she is, cuz at her age, this is basically a science experiment they need to send out to all those OB/GYN doctors in training to learn about GERIATRIC pregnancies…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Whitney Cummings

2023

12

Jul

Iggy Azalea Nude Reading of the Day

No Comments »

I may have hated on Iggy Azalea for being a fake fuck phoney in the past, her rapping was retarded, the celebrity she got from that rapping far more retarded, her weirdly sized ass even MORE retarded, one that no one thought was real, but that many people didn’t care, because the idea of a clown like ass was appealing to them, it was on trend….

However, now that she’s reduced herself to an internet whore, who gets naked in curated shoots as part of her concept, or her artistry, or her vision…to promote, to sell, to make more money, even though she’s already rich, is a pretty solid look..

You see, the OnlyFans movement doesn’t officially bother me, get the money from the simp losers paying when you can, but I do actually like it when celebs who otherwise weren’t getting naked, just can’t resist the attention from getting naked online, so I’ll stare at that ass, which doesn’t even look like a freakish ass it once was….

I’m into Iggy Azalea holdin’ onto the dream right now…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Iggy Azalea

2023

12

Jul

Suki Waterhouse Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Suki Waterhouse is the kind of try hard who hits us from every angle…she was first a scenester at the right parties in the UK, then she was a model, then she became an actress, then she dated Brad cooper and did the whole celebrity pussy that celebrity cock lands into, but not hard enough because Irina Shayk was the one able to CAPTURE all the cum in her womb to make that high paying, solid ROI baby….while SUKI went back to the drawing board, found another celebrity to get under, this time the guy from Harry Potter or Twilight, I forget his name….and recently, I saw that she sings, or has a band…because WHAT CAN’T SUKI DO, she does it all…just not very well….or not well enough to really matter….

Well, here she is on a paddleboard in bikini being skinny, and I appreciate the tiny tit, the skinny body, so I’m down for the world to give SUKI a chance, she’s put in the work, or more work than most and deserves it.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Suki Waterhouse

2023

12

Jul

Workout Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

Stay fit bitches….

It gives us something to jerk off to, because fitness is hot, it’s healthy, it means they can fuck better than a fatty, while looking better than a fatty, so that we can lay there as fatties inspired by their fitness, their musculature, since it takes work to look good, to be healthy, especially in a world where they want us all fat, sick and dead…

Point of the story, fit bitches doing fitness is the only reason I’d ever get a gym membership….FOR THE JERKING OFF MAN…that’s my workout….even if it gets me arrested…HIGH RISK!

(more…)

Posted in:Workout

2023

12

Jul

Jennifer Garner Sexy in the Pool of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s some Jennifer Garner, who you may know as an uneventful actress, or as Ben Affleck’s biggest fucking fan, top Groupie, who stood by her man all those years because he’s Ben Affleck and she’s just Jennifer Garner…

She’s likely in her 50s by now and she’s committed to convincing us something that we already know with this photo series….and that is that NOT ALL BIKINI PICS ARE created equally..

She may want to go back to the drawing board, realize her mom ass is a celebrity and thus better than most asses her age, and since she hasn’t been a whore in her career like she was in the AFFLECK bedroom, now would be a good time to start…even if it’s too late…it’d be more fun than this..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jennifer Garner

2023

12

Jul

Weed Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

Weed girls are either dumpy, lazy, ghetto, trashy, down to earth hippies being all BOHO in their Tie Dye, and here’s a mix of a wide variety of them to celebrate that weed culture, which is a thing because weed smokers are lame and try to go over the top with their love for the herb by over promoting it in all aspects of their life, which is apparently less annoying on a half naked chick being a pervert than on some punk kid in his weed hat, shirt, pants and necklace smoking his weed on the streets now that it’s legal…

I think I had more respect for weed smokers when it was illegal, because weed smokers now are just mainstream and hive mind retards, but if they get naked, it’s a little more appealing since they are naked….funny how that works.

(more…)

Posted in:Weed