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2023

11

Jul

The Viral Jonah Hill Story is Idiotic of the Day

So there’s a story going around about some groupie bitch who managed to seduce the fat boy turned surf bro with her surf lifestyle that he was drawn to, since celebrities are fucking lame and have no actual souls, they surround themselves with what they think are authentic people to get that real life experience, because otherwise life is boring in their castles on their piles of money with groupie pussy being thrown at them all day, even when they look like Jonah Hill….

You know, so surf bro was trying to get into surfing, and down to earth seeming surf girl tricked him into her bussy bear trap, and for a minute or two, the empty celebrity felt emotions, maybe even love, for the instagram surf life he was living….

Anyway, while things got more and more serious, the celebrity clearly felt like he was dealing with a groupie who gamed him, who was using him, who was garbage trash and trying to leverage his fame for her own…it’s the curse of celebrity…NO ONE LOVES YOU FOR YOU BRO….

So dude drew a line in the sand, said “if you want to get with this baby fat boy dick, you have to respect my boundaries, if not, I ain’t right for you”…..REASONABLE….and even respectful…

His clauses were if you want to surf with dudes, be a whore in a bikini, be up on dudes you friendzone but mooch attention from, post slutty pics, and deal with crazy bitches, fuck off…

REASONABLE….he’s a famous fat fuck you know….

Anyway, they broke up, he got a new girl, knocked her up and now this salty ass surf bitch is mad, so she’s trying to put him on blast and any normal person would say “groupie trying to get more attention from her peak of celebrity, which unfortunately for her was dating Jonah Hill”….because she didn’t get famous enough dating Jonah Hill…so she’s got to create some woke, libtard, feminist angle around the relationship to go viral, since she still relies on Jonah Hill to matter….

And ALL the woke, lame, middle of the road bitches are acting like she’s some hero, abuse victim, get the fuck out of here, you mooch cunt….

The female HIVE mind, LOVES this shit as much as they HATE trump and the whole thing is so fucking obvious….

The funny thing in the whole story is the surf bitch he was with, now with 100k more fans, is a fucking dog…dude…

Why is this a fucking story? Clearly the victim in all this is Jonah Hill getting gamed by some mooch cunt. She is so obvious, but people aren’t seeing it, I don’t get it, but clearly her FUCK isn’t that good, if dude wasn’t willing to put up with her bullshit.

Posted in:Jonah Hill

2023

11

Jul

AnnaSophia Robb Swimsuit of the Day

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I don’t know if AnnaSophia Robb, who has a silly fucking name, but who isn’t even the only famous AnnaSophia, which means more than one person has that silly fucking name, but when staring at ass, does a name really matter. Definitely not.

What matters is that even with a relatively insignificant career as an actor, she can afford to hang out on yachts with women who have middle aged mom bodies from eating too much cake and spending too much time sitting, where together they jump off said yachts into the wonderful blue waters, you working class cucks will never experience, making AnnaSophia’s Robb Bod hotter by comparison.

She also lays on rocks, channeling that Blake Lively shark attack movie, and I figure if bikinis are involved, I’m into it..

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Posted in:AnnaSophia Robb

2023

11

Jul

Jessica Simpon’s 43rd Birthday Selfie is Terrifying of the Day

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Here’s a picture that Jessica Simpson posted called “43 and Make-Up Free” according her bullshit caption.

It’s going viral because people looking at it see that she’s got lipstick or gloss on, or maybe it’s a face filter, or maybe it’s botox, fillers and photoshop., I don’t fucking know and I don’t fucking care, I just find it scary as shit…

It looks like some medicated psychopath all bug eyed coming to eat my fucking soul and not in a way that would make me cum.

It’s like I could imagine waking up after a car accident only to be held captive by something that looks like this, you know who pulled me out of the wreckage because she’s a big fan of my writing….MISERY shit…

It’s like some horse faced lunatic on meth trying to convince me to buy a blowjob from her….because Jessica Simpson without her big tits, especially at 43 and MAKE-UP free is not a good thing…

Here she is posing slutty, still scary faced, but more tolerable…

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2023

11

Jul

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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The bathing suit is pretty much the foundation of the internet, along with hardcore free porn, but as an accessible level of easy and shameless but not overly shameless that it’s scary to produce content from basically all bitches who go on vacation, the bathing suit is responsible for social media’s success…..because every dude friended colleagues and old friends to see them half naked….not to see their shitty kids, their shitty gossip or life wins and losses they whine about….but the vacation pics…

I may be more keen on bathing suits because I live in a place where the only bathing suits I see are on fat chicks tanning because they are too old to give a shit, and not the hot chicks going to the cooler places than what I am allowed to go, where they wear those bikinis…so I turn to the internet….to celebrate the only article of clothing that matters, that inspires, that you can jerk off to knowing it’s outdoor appropriate yet still so slutty for the average chick to put on, yet they ALL put it on with ease….even the most prude bitch is totally fine slipping into a fucking g-string so long as it’s a bikini….like the fact it is a bikini makes it ok….and I’m into keeping that trend going!

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Posted in:swimsuit

2023

10

Jul

Sofia Richie Ass in a Bikini of the Day

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Sofia Richie, who is Lionel’s actual kid, unlike that faker try hard Nicole….the one he found in the dumpster….is posting up shameless bikini pics of her ass.

She recently got married to someone we can assume is a fame whore, money grubber, with some good marketing skills, or negotiation skills, able to trick rich and famous girls into marrying him so that he never has to work again….

Which means, she can post her ass in a bikini without feeling as shameless as she probably did when she immersed herself in the world of Kardashian by having sex with 50 year old Scott Disick, in efforts to launch her instagram career, when she had access to all that Lionel money from all his hit songs and really didn’t need those monsters…and could have done it without their creepy co-sign….

Point of the story, the married ass looks good…and looks even better if you stare at it while listing to Lionel love songs…..HIT MAKER!

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Posted in:Sofia Richie

2023

10

Jul

Sharon Stone Fridge Raider of the Day

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Sharon Stone is a reminder of how far we have come as a people, because it wasn’t that long ago, I mean it was about 30 years ago which is a fucking long time ago, but it doesn’t feel like that long ago, when I was pressing pause on a VHS, hoping the tracking was clear enough to see her spread legged, uncrossed leg cunt, like some kind of weird fanboy pervert….even though I wasn’t a fanboy pervert, I was just a pervert who knew that was where I could see cunt in a mainstream movie. It was progressive and look where it led us as a people…

Looking at Sharon Stone now, rocking a one-piece, not spread-legged, while making shitty art is far less fun version of the bitch, but it slooks like if you zoom in far enough, there’s some only lady fat sticking out of her swimsuit crotch that could be part of her old lady cunt, you know a little fleshy pussy fat with lost elasticity thanks to her being a senior citizen for NOSTALGIA!

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Posted in:Sharon Stone|Sharon Stone

2023

10

Jul

Milf Monday of the Day

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Here some self proclaimed MILFS trying to have a good time, or at least get a little rush of excitement in their otherwise boring and routine lives, you know raising kids can be so boring, especially when you’re a self involved modern woman who finds the whole raising kids gets in the way of the whoring.

I guess it’s safe to say that it is summer vacation and that all you MILF fuckers out there, who aren’t the acting BULL in the relationship for the cuck husband to jerk off to, but rather the person picking up the table scraps the husband left in the divorce with your mouth and fingers, you’re probably about to get two weeks of free pussy, available to fuck daily, all energized with the kids with their dad, ready to fuck you in half with their near menopausal sex drive, only to remind you how much you prefer them every second weekend….

So here are some MILFS for you MILF fuckers about to go through it this month with the MILFs who have sent their kids to camp, or to dads, or anywhere that gives them the free time to be the annoying bitches you didn’t expect them to be when you first dove into the MILF fucking life…

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Posted in:Milf

2023

10

Jul

Noah Cyrus Nude Bikini of the Day

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Noah Cyrus is like the premise of any good old fashioned incest porn in the 70s, where the sister the dad doesn’t molest because she’s less appealing, goes out into the world with a complex about how even her own dad won’t fuck her because her sister gets all his attention and semen, forcing her to take on as many dicks as she can in hopes of finding validation….

You know ugly duckling sister syndrome thanks to having Miley Cyrus as the sister she has to try to live up to, but never will, there are too few Miley’s out there, and all Noah can do is just ride the association to Miley which makes her more important than you and me, but that probably eats away at whatever is left of her everytime she says “do you know who my sister is?”…

She’s recently engaged, probably to a guy trying to get closer to Miley, or even Billy Ray, since you know he’s not there for her, she’s just the OPEN DOOR to all his dreams….

So like all recently engaged girls, she posting up half naked selfies…

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Posted in:noah cyrus

2023

10

Jul

Maria Menounos Bikini Abs of the Day

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Maria Menounos is the 45 year old bitch from Extra or Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight type of bullshit shows, who was smart enough to leave that shit, after decades of being jerked off to because of that shit, since men were forced to sit through that shit, while their fat wives watched that shit during dinner, only to handle that shit by staring at the Greek Goddesses tits, while knowing she does anal….GREEK SHIT (glazed with olive oil and semen)….

While Maria Menounos had some kind of cancer a while ago, she decided it was time for a geriatric pregnancy, but then got some other kind of cancer she’s either actually got, or is pretending to have, because it gets her in the media for the female hive mind to get all sad about, and I guess this is her showing off her scars and her pregnancy bump thanks to buying herself a baby via a surrogate….why put the body through nature’s birthing process when you can just pay for it and keep that pussy as pristine as it is, thanks to the whole being greek and using the asshole as primary hole…..

Anyway, as it turns out, you can jerk off to cancer, but anyone who has been to the cancer ward already knows that!

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Posted in:Maria Menounos|Maria Menounos

2023

10

Jul

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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I like to hate on nurses who get naked on the job, mainly because I find it totally inappropriate to see a professional reduce herself to some low level stripper begging for attention on the internet, because having a professional career with a high salary isn’t enough in the “dudes jerking off to you” department, that you gotta level the fuck up….

But the truth is, I like all girls who let their true woman colors shine through, especially when they are trying to be taken seriously in their work, you know just as a reminder of “you can send a bitch to college, you can give her the right to vote, you can let her have her own opinion” but she’ll always just be a baboon walking through her tribe of baboons with her drippy, swollen baboon cunt, trying to get the best, strongest and richest baboon to cum up inside it…..to keep the baboon species going….

If you know what I mean…

I figure if I look at chicks as sluts, having them deliver from places they are no supposed to be sluts, is just that pat on my back I need to validate my opinion I didn’t need validated because I am always right…but you get what I mean….

If I was in hospital, getting enemas and whatever other treatments since I’m likely dying, I’d be right there with these medical workers, directing them, or at least expecting to be THIS kind of medical worker anyway. It’s called SEXUALIZING everything with a vagina bro…

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Posted in:NURSES