DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

16

Dec

Rosie Huntington Whiteley for ELLE UK of the Day

Rosie Huntington Whiteley is so fucking boring in all she does, even when she gets naked, but the fact that she gets naked makes her less boring, but still boring….but for some reason I am drawn the fuck into her and everything she does – which is weird because I am not some bald guy using her as a beacon of hope that if I become an action star – I’ll get a Rosie Huntington of my own…I just think her and her British demeanor seem sophisticated and cunty and that alone makes wanting to cum on her face more satisfying to imagine…

I guess it’s the wanting what you can’t have, knowing if you ever crossed paths with her – she wouldn’t even acknowledge you – even if you saved her from drowning on some weird holiday swimming accident…because as you know the British can’t swim…no wait…that’s black people…same thing…

Here are some boring pics I love.

Posted in:Rosie Huntington-Whiteley|SFW

2016

16

Dec

Lindsay Lohan has a Manager of the DAy

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Lindsay Lohan recently posted her manager’s email.

I want everyone to email Lindsay Lohan’s manager who email she recently scott@scottcarlsen.com and ask him how much she costs for a cuddle session – no penetration – just a good wholesome cuddle…not that I am into cuddling – but figure once the cuddle is on…the anal is no too far away….especially when dealing with a crazy person…

It’s the Christmas season, little miracles happen people….That’s all I have to say about that…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

16

Dec

Chrissy Teigen 80s Aerobics For Love Magazine of the Day

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Chrissy Teigen is the fucking worst, her husband she wallet fucked is likely gay, their child probably not his…but I doubt she’d fuck that one up, she’s committed to him hard – for the long haul, because she spotted talented before he was super famous – and she knew to invest her energy into him, and it paid off because half of everything of his – which is alot – is hers…and that made for a good lifestyle considering she was only making 50k a year at her peak of being a model, before social media allowed her to get on a TV show…and run her annoying mouth off in different mediums…all while being a chubby busty ethnically obscure pile of shit…

Well, unfortunately, her LOVE MAGAZINE video is the best one they did, her eating junk food working out, not very Christmas, but compared to all their other videos this is the only one that has any substance…and not just her big tits 80s aerobic…but a joke, humor, a purpose, irony, whatever this is and that is so hard for me to accept…or admit…because I hate the Love Magazine campaign this year and Chrissy Teigen is the fucking devil…she is the fucking worst and her fans..who have lashed out at me at least once…are very fucking annoying….not to mention she wasn’t hot pre-baby, and this is post baby..so you’d think she wouldn’t be hot now….but I’m digging it and there is just too much going on in my head to grasp what I am thinking…other than that I want a burger.

Posted in:Chrissy Teigen|SFW

2016

16

Dec

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I don’t leave my house in the extreme cold, and it is extremely cold, not that I like talking about the weather, I hate talking about the weather and when anyone asks me about the weather, I tell them to fuck themselves and learn how to ask relevant questions – that show genuine interest…if you want to know the fucking weather there’s apps for that…you piece of fucking shit….

That said, where are the tits, not anywhere near me because it’s the middle of fucking winter, and even when the cold presents you with hard fucking glass cutting nipples, that you will never see – because they are in all these fucking bullshit layers…COCKTEASING WHORES…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Jennifer Garner Busty Milf
CLICK HERE

Twas the Night Before Christmas in 27 Celeb Impressions
CLICK HERE

Kristen Stewart Fucked Mad Pussy in 2016 of the Day
CLICK HERE

Package Thief Gets Karma
CLICK HERE

Concrete Truck Disco ball
CLICK HERE

Anna Faris – Sideboob
CLICK HERE

Kids Eat Christmas Foods from Around the World
CLICK HERE

Still Tracking this Gold Digger…
CLICK HERE

Kids Try 100 Years of Candy
CLICK HERE

Johnny Depp Compound in South France is Gangster
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2016

15

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

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I have decided that my favorite photoshoot of the year, is probably a photoshoot from the 90s, that is pure amazing wrestling fetish glamour model shit – and I wonder what the instagram whores aren’t producing good shit like this…probably because we live in an empty world filled with lazy perverts who recycle nothing good…like wedgie wrestling gold…

I guess that’s my year in review – since I say the same thing everyday – 14 years running – day after day – come back for more….like all the vagina in my life – that are addicted … not to me but to drugs and I give them 5 dollars every time they sit on my face…

Here are some stepLINKS…because this is what I do….

I would Still Fuck Suzanne Somers To Show Her I’m a Thigh Master….
stepSMUT!! LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!
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Today’s Random Tumblr Porn CURATED by ME for my NARRAATIVE of THIRD WAVE porno of the Day
CLICK HERE

Christmas Themed Slut
CLICK HERE

Shaved Vagina VS Toy
CLICK HERE

This Nude Model Has Probably Seen Some Shit
CLICK HERE

Things Cut in Two
CLICK HERE

Ex Dyke Ex Feminist Gender Traitor Cunt Porn….
CLICK HERE

Big Flobby Tit – Perfomance ARt
CLICK HERE

The Saddest Blowjob Ever – That Reminds me of My Life
CLICK HERE

Wife Shoves Chili in Mistresses Pussy
CLICK HERE

Amazing Cheerleader Ass
CLICK HERE

SLUTS LOVE TAKING SO MANY Naked Selfies of the Day
CLICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Check Out My Hot Sauce Photoshoot with Dead Fish and Tits…
CLICK HERE

This is an Amazing Gift for Meatlovers and Vegans
CLICK HERE

Another Amazing Gift Idea – Two Drinks One Cup…
CLICK HERE

VAPE OF THE DAY
CLICK HERE

Glass BONGS of the Day
CLICK HERE

Find More Great Links Here….
CLICK HERE

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FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR | SNAPCHAT

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Posted in:stepLINKS

2016

15

Dec

Ashley Smith and the Craziest Cameltoe Ever of the Day

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Ashley Smith is old now…she’s been around for at least 10 years. I assume she is still a TRUMP model, and that by contract voted Trump in the election, it’s part of the contract….not that they ever got her any real work…but she was the busty hipster who lived off her modeling all these years…and recently her career from being a hipster model with tits to a mainstream SI model with tits – not that SI is a big deal, but she’s not really hot enough to be in SI, even if SI is the same magazine that features obese women, since they just care for the tits….she also did non nude playboy….but as it turns out her beach day – gnarly fucking cameltoe with her white bikini bottoms jacked nicely up her twat…like the thing hasn’t eaten for weeks…brings back fond memories of so many things this nostalgic time of year, like staring at my friend’s sister’s twat in a white bikini when we where 18….the day I learned the power of a white bikini….and I guess to a time when Ashley Smith wasn’t doing anything as a model – and would interract with me on social media…those were the best days of my life….and now all I’ve got is this brilliant cameltoe..and that’s good enough for me…

Posted in:Ashley Smith|SFW

2016

15

Dec

Alicia Arden’s Amazing Christmas Shoot of the Day

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Alicia Arden is a virtual unknown to me, but apparently she’s on the Phoebe Price, Maitland Ward, Frenchy Morgan hustle of doing themed shoots on their low level tabloid celebrity, hoping to get picked up by random low level media – that either loves all Xmas content – feels sorry for them and wants to show support – or like me – thinks it is dark, awkward, and weird, and sad, and shameless and everything good that comes with what looks like amateur porn shot on a point and shoot camera back in the film days….only way fucking less hot…

So Alicia Arden has an IMDB, she’s basically an extra in her 50s who was on one episode of Baywatch in the 90s…and this is apparently part of her PR plan….and I figure do this for every holiday, it shows effort, all you have to do is go to the Dollar Store and is actually higher concept than Love Magazine…

It’s not hot, it’s fucking creepy…but that’s what makes it absolutely perfect.

Posted in:Alicia Arden

2016

15

Dec

Clown Nicki Minaj in a Bikini of the Day

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Nicki Minaj is fucking terrible, but she is this generations version of a circus clown, you know a total shapeshifter from acting school who figured out how to navigate the entertainment industry by being the black Lady Gaga all weird, before turning into the fake tits, face and ass that look like Blac Chyna or any and all of the Kardashians…who is now on the beach somewhere showing off all that plastic…because she’s made it -but is clearly still a weak, broken, annoying and depressing weird looking human – who makes some real shitty music…but it pays and in America…that’s all that matters…mattress

Posted in:Nicki Minaj|SFW

2016

15

Dec

Hailey Clauson for some Saks Bathing Suit Porn of the DAy

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Big and Busty Hailey Clauson who is best known for her Sports Illustrated cover shoot dream …who is best known for suing the Urban Outfitters because they used pics of her humping a motorcycle when she was 16 in a campaign – even though her dad was on set participating in the whoring out of his 16 year old daughter Urban Outfitters – probably anticipating making more money on the back end after it was used….which is exactly what happened – cashed the fuck in or out – and this modeling is for companies like SAKS is just for fun, she could even do it for free because of her pile of Urban Outfitters money….but probably gets paid…because…they need that big girl in a one piece bathing suit action…

Posted in:Hailey Clauson|SFW

2016

15

Dec

Emily DiDonato’s Christmas Lingerie of the Day

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LOOK!!! SHITTY PICS OF A SHITTY MODEL IN SHITTY LINGERIE FOR CHRISTMAS!!!

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT IS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED BECAUSE I AM NOT SUFFOCATED BY THIS BULLSHIT EVERYDAY OF MY GODDAMN LIFE…

HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS MY HOPES AND FUCKING DREAMS…ALONG WITH CURING CANCER…100 MILLION DOLLARS….CURING POVERTY EXCEPT WITH HOMELESS CHICKS CUZ I NEED THEM TO SUCK MY DICK FOR CHEAP – AND ALL THE OTHER CHRISTMAS MIRACLES THAT PALE IN COMPARISON TO SHITTY MODELS IN SHITTY PICS FOR SHITTY LINGERIE…

There is a fucking Santa.

Posted in:Emily DiDonato|SFW