DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

27

Sep

Claudia Schiffer in Sweaters of the Day

Claudia Schiffer and her angular, structured, strong, face…did a campaign for sweaters…because she’s 100 years old, still skinny, but grandmother aged, the grandmother of top models, and there is very little grandmother’s like more than Sweaters…

I don’t really understand how Claudia Schiffer has such fresh and youthful, almost robotic skin…that could be from good lighting, photo and make-up, she is professional…or maybe good photoshop because she is working with pros, or maybe it’s just her plastic surgery because she’s a model, superficial and vapid….rich from their looks and their looks alone…

I like to think it’s Nazi programming from Nazi Germany science…that people don’t seem to remember was only 70 years ago….a long time maybe…but it’s not like their science didn’t go anywhere…or create this…in the 70s or 60s when she was born…

I remember the 90s…and jerking off to her in Playboy because I liked her German Aryan vibe more than the other bitches of the era like Momma Africa Naomi Campbell and Miss America Cindy Crawford…so this sweater campaign is hilarious to me…

Posted in:Claudia Schiffer|SFW

2016

27

Sep

Kendall Jenner is So Fucking Average Looking for Allure of the DAy

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Kendall Jenner is so fucking average. There’s nothing interesting or compelling about her. There is nothing hot about her. There is nothing sexy about her. But the industry fucking loves her – because she has following…and she only has following because her whore sister got a TV show from her whoring and they family was relentless enough to monetize the fuck out of every single area they could…by keeping this one white for white people…while the other are too busted and fat to be used the same way…and she’s owning it, like her dad owns being her second mom, despite having a dick…something that doesn’t fuck her up or make her want to escape the sex cult she’s part of…because it pays so well…because she’s got no soul, she’s a fucking puppet..

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

27

Sep

The Side Tit of Bella Thorne’s Tit Analysis of the Day

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Bella Thorne decided to take a pic of the side of her perky, possibly fake tit, but maybe not fake…since most redheads I know have big tits, I figure it’s part of their breed’s survival so that people fuck them – and don’t run off scared that they will get their soul eaten by their super redhead strength as these redheads do…there is a reason they were killed off historically after being seen as the devil’s child…the hair color is too inhuman to make sense…

That said…Bella Thorne decided to take a pic of the side of her perky tit saying some shit like “i’m not posting too much of my tit, I’m not a whore showing off my tit, and it’s not even my tit my parents own it and milk it like my little babies I’ve aborted, because they bought them for me to slut out with”….

Which is like a dude with a huge dick posting pics of his huge dick saying “look how small my dick is”….only with tits…and any tits…being played off as being subtle tit…is still tit I’ll look at…so keep bringing the tit..it’s a great marketing hook. I’m sold..

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

27

Sep

A better Look at Sara Sampaio’s Victoria’s Secret Pussy Not Wearing Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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I posted Sara Sampaio’s possible pussy flash but the pics were too small for me to see actual labia….but today…I saw labia…and figured it was a good time to try to figure out what is going on here, other than that it’s a pussy flash, a bald pussy flash in an era of BUSH…which as a bush lover and connoisseur… I hate…

But the real issue about the pussy flash is that I THOUGHT SHE WAS SPONSORED BY VICTORIA SECRET….Victoria’s Secret is the only reason I know her…Isn’t this is a bad look for the brand. Their girl they pay tons of money to – doesn’t wear panties…because the panties cause yeast infections, or get in the way, or a low quality dog shit panties from China and she’s not legally allowed to wear other panties…so she wears no panties as a contract loophole….hilarious..

The only reason we know this girl, and now her pussy is because of the money and co-sign from Victoria’s Secret. If what they shove down our throats are lies…what in the world is real. Even underwear models don’t wear their underwear…they can’t be bribed into wearing their underwear…and everything we know about their marketing is all lies…this is promo model mall brand shit that these girls are better than…

TO me, her pussy is saying “There’s no point to underwear….not this shitty underwear that pays me…that stuff is bad”…or maybe she will spin it by saying “Look what happens when you don’t wear underwear”…her pussy…a martyr for or the brand…because she’s already put everything about her out there….this isn’t a big deal and it’s good press…

Either way….pussy…..or maybe this isn’t pussy – but is instead just nude panties that are from her owners Victoria’s Secret…and just look like a pussy slip…because that’s a new trend they are on…who knows…

Posted in:Sara Sampaio

2016

27

Sep

Maja Krag Tits of the Day

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Maja Krag, is a model who is from Denmark, at least according to this MODEL AGENCY TEAR SHEET where you can learn all about her measurements, in the event you want to make a life sized replica of her, but more importantly where you can see some of her titty work….all models, especially the euros have titty work.

She’s good…and the pics are by some Canadian Lebanese dude who lives in New York and Paris and Toronto named Ryan Ayash …who we can assume fucks a lot of models…because models are so into themselves they like anyone who gets them naked and makes them look good…

Check her out on instagram on HERE it’s all the basic pics you’d expect…but maybe you like more of a backstory to tits you jerk off to..because they are great tits…models don’t have tits like this…but I guess they do…good.

Posted in:Maja Krag

2016

27

Sep

Luma Grothe for DKNY Underwear of the Day

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Her name is Luma Grothe, but she’s not Grothe at all…that was one of the worst Mike Tyson Lisp Memes I’ve participated in – but only because it’s the only one, but also the only thing I got for this bitch in her lingerie….

I would say I am better than this low level humor. But I am absolutely not. I am actually not good enough to come up with MEMEs and if I was…motherfucker…I’d have 4 TV shows in production, 2 movies and a fucking POOL house…

I am not simplistic enough, that’s not to say I’m complicated or high brow in my tits and pussy commentary…that my friend nicely referred to as “all you do is call girls whores and sluts”….which isn’t really what I am going for…but I guess that’s how it comes across….

So LUMA GROTHE….with a picture of Mike Tyson raping and beating Robin Givens…it is….because I have no connection to hot chicks in underwear, I’m used to pigs, and DKNY straight from the 1990s were what girls who didn’t fuck me wore…they were too high end….

So if this was a fat slob in K-Mart panties from the 80s despite being mid 90s…I’d be reliving my 20s…instead…I’m forced to MEME…

Posted in:Luma Grothe|SFW

2016

27

Sep

Katy Perry Pretends to Vote Naked for Attention of the Day

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Katy Perry is a big Hillary Clinton supporter – as she would be, you know Women Power and the fact that Trump comes across as a crazy person….not to mention the whole Illuminati theory that the only reason Katy Perry or Hillary Clinton exist is due to some secret society determining what the country sees and experiences…both very rich talking heads designed to push random agendas…like this “Go Vote, even if you don’t want to Vote”…because the election is in a month and half….

And what better way than to do it as a basic joke, for a site that loves basic jokes, as long as said basic jokes are performed by celebrities to make everyone rich…

I refuse to post the video – because I fucking hate everything about that scam Funny or Die…but I’ll post the bullshit and unattractive non-nude pics of Katy Perry…who doesn’t even get naked in her joke video- because she’ll all talk, all noise, full of shit..and her jokes aren’t funny…

You cannot clickbait us with the word naked…that’s my tactic…trick…now pull out those monster tits…

Here a video of the fatty tits eating Sprinkles…as she does…titty fuel…probably better than Funny Or Die’s garbage…die INTERNET…PLEASE DIE….

A video posted by KATY PERRY (@katyperry) on Sep 19, 2016 at 3:10pm PDT

Posted in:Katy Perry|SFW

2016

27

Sep

Carolyn Murphy Channels Her Roots for Vogue Paris of the Day

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Carolyn Murphy is a vintage model…she’s 40…which is 100 in model years, but that doesn’t mean she won’t get any work getting half naked….people like what they are use to…which is why I like Carolyn Murphy…I’ve watched her sex tape at least a dozen times….and why she likes getting half naked – you need to do that to fuck…

So classy and refined brands…like Vogue…don’t seem to care that she fucked in video and released it – or had it “stolen” all those years ago, maybe because she let it fizzle out as it was old school, we’re talking on VHS…yes she’s that old….I guess Vogue accepts that people fuck, and that pornstars come in all sizes and as long as they are models or a Kardashian…and not actual pornstars…they’ll feature them…

I do remember Carolyn Murphy as a Sports Illustrated model….which was a thing before instagram bikini models took over….

But the sex tape….google it…that’s what you want to see…not her in lingerie at 40…there’s no fun in that no matter how good she still looks…it’s still fashion pics…not full on slut pics…

Posted in:Carolyn Murphy|SFW

2016

27

Sep

Elle Britain Tits of the Day

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Elle Britain is some short, chubby, nude for attention, hipster, social media focused, “talent” who probably doesn’t have much talent, at least if you’re a close minded asshole who doesn’t realize that girls don’t need to have talent, and a willingness to get naked, with or without the fuck, is talent enough….because I’ve known girls over the years and some of the worst experiences with said girls have been them not getting naked, not even to fuck, just to show me how their labia looks or works, for science….

So the whole social media thing, the trying to get some attention, the doing it with your tits, it’s great…except when they actually make it and start getting paid and that’s fucking annoying…because I like the milk tits for free..fuck…and the good news, the thing they don’t want you to know….is that there will always be more when these ones either succeed or turn 30…YAY! for Us!