DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

27

Jun

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

TINY TITS ARE TITTIES TOO…

I am a firm believer that tiny tits can hold their tiny tit weight, or at least hold their own, like a retard with special needs put into the regular programming at school, only less freakish and far easier to jerk off to, because you don’t need big sloppy tits to be hot tits, you just need the nipples….good old fashioned nipples….to make them enough tit to enjoy..,..

Plus, tiny tit owners are usually less fat and dumpy, a BONUS selling feature when buying tits on the TITTY marketplace that is the internet.

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Posted in:TINY TITS

2023

27

Jun

Stretch….and Other Youtube Shorties of the Day

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Beach Walks with Ass

Some Bitch Doing Fitness

Getting Rid of Frizzy Hair

Wife Cleaning Husband’s Truck Porn

Creepy Dancing

Posted in:Videos|Youtube Shorties!

2023

27

Jun

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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They say that the internet was created as a tool to track everyone on all levels of their life, from their conversations, their inner most intimate thoughts, their porn habits, their shopping habits, their locations, their bank accounts, you know as a mechanism of population control and manipulation through the data they pulled from everyone…..

But I like to think that the internet was created as a tool for chicks to post their bikini and swimsuit pics from vacation….which actually be a tool to get people to get onboarded onto the soul sucking, identity stealing, mind shaping internet machine, you know “post bikini pics, all retards will come like mice in a cage being rewarded so that we can get what we want out of them, oh and MAKE it free so that there are no barriers of entry”……but that’s far too dystopian for a wonderful phenomenon of SO MUCH bikini content being produced every day…..

Here’s a round-up of swimwear to start the day right.

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Posted in:swimsuit

2023

26

Jun

Katie Price 16th Boob Job Tits of the Day

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I appreciate Katie Price Jordan’s consistency all these years….

Before social media, there was Katie Price Jordan’s clown-sized tits, which were either a social experiment, social commentary about a tit obsessed shameless world…this was 20 years ago, way ahead of her time, because now we’ve got 1000s of social media girls trying her same hustle…

Through her ups and downs of crazy, she’s landed on and reconnected with her purpose, her goal, her legacy, her vision, and she’s trying to reclaim her position in the world, despite being older she’s also more experienced and this game…

Apparently, this is her 16th set of NEW tits, and guess what, they’re hilarious, which is what you’d want out of clown tits, the kind of thing to life our spirits in this dark times, PATCH ADAMS…right.

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Posted in:Jordan Katie Price

2023

26

Jun

January Jones Backyard Bikini of the Day

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January Jones is channelling Anne Heche during the Ellen years in this shameless bikini selfie, that’s really not as bad as it could be since she’s a single mom in her 50s, but I guess she’s put some effort into maintaining her body since she’s a TV star and there are expectations and requirements from TV stars…

I don’t really like middle aged bikini selfies for attention, but I guess there’s a bunch of January Jones fans who still jerk off to her tits, some of those people may be some of the men we assume are the sperm supplier in her single mother venture…

Maybe my hate for January Jones is that I resent single mothers whoring on the internet to get by….or maybe it’s because I’ve never watched her TV show and lack that emotional connection to her vapid and fake actor existence that we’ll assume used those tits properly on casting couches in the early years to matter….and this is her now.

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Posted in:January Jones

2023

26

Jun

Milf Monday of the Day

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I guess there’s a handful of bored moms out there who aren’t super stoked about being moms, it is not their identity, even though it probably should be, since it is seemingly the only thing that should matter to a woman, it’s kind of their whole point, but not in this world of sexual deviance and perversion, because in this world of sexual deviance and perversion, they need to pretend that they are still hot and still got it, like a bunch of single college aged girls at the club with two drinks in them, so naturally pulling their tits out and making out with each other for the dudes they plan to accuse of date raping them at a later date….

It’s the level of desperation that I guess should be appreciated, because at least they are trying and trying counts when it comes to self produced smut….

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Posted in:Milf

2023

26

Jun

Caroline Vreeland Sloppy Pregnancy Tits of the Day

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Caroline Vreeland was an LA hipster on instagram back in the early days of instagram, she was able to leverage her last name, that may not even be her actual last name on her birth certificate, but one of her relatives was a big player at VOGUE for a decades in the early days, so it was an angle that could be used for some self pushed NEPOTISM, rather than organic nepotism….

It’s basically the kind of nepotism that requires you to walk around with your DNA tests, family tree and a portfolio case or powerpoint presentation that you can use to explain to everyone who you are related to, why you are important and why you deserve the VIP…

Couple that self starter, self promoting approach with some GIANT FUCKING tits and you’ve got a recipe to win…..

Despite having all it takes to win, she ended up doing OnlyFans, while still doing fashion while moving to Canada from LA…and well….that works better for me, cuz the fashion industry is trash, but not trashy enough to jerk off to….but titty content, especially sloppy titty content may be….especially since she’s preggers and the tits that started out giant are far more giant…wild.

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Posted in:Caroline Vreeland

2023

26

Jun

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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If you want to be a modern Medical Worker, it seems like the supervisors and managers at the job will be also training new bitches in the field to get herself nice and naked as a sideline business, since it keeps people excited at work, which is otherwise super boring at souless, especially in the health care industry, where helping people survive and thrive, at least in theory is way too selfless when we’re all self involved narcissists…..it’s the world of LOOK AT ME, and changing diapers and administering catheters is thankless even when getting overpaid for it, because the money you make on nudes is way more and you get a bunch of lame ass losers begging to buy your panties…a third revenue stream…what a joke…

I like it though, into the whole whoredom of the world validating everything I’ve always KNOWN…

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Posted in:NURSES

2023

26

Jun

Dakota Fanning Skinny Dip of the Day

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Dakota Fanning has creeped me out the entirety of her career, since she started as this creepy kid they would tour around the talk shows, it was a different era where you didn’t have to jerk off on social media to get noticed, which I guess worked out for Dakota Fanning, since she was just a little kid, so the whole touring the talk shows was still weird, but NOT that weird.

Anyway, the point of the fucking story is that she was creepy adult acting child, then she turned into an adult and the cuteness that probably excited the creepy producers casting her pretty much evaporated, like it did with Haley Joel Osment and she’s now fully troll looking at least in the top LEFT picture below….HOWEVER she’s in bra and weird panty-shorts and more excitingly, she’s running into the ocean with her ass out and it may not be an exciting ass, a great ass, but it’s an ass running into the ocean on some huge celebrity, who may not be as big a name as she was, but still a big name because of what she was….unfortunately, her ass isn’t quite as big…

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Posted in:Dakota Fanning

2023

26

Jun

Charli XCX Bikini of the Day

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Charli XCX, who sold her soul during the Pandemic, you can tell because she was a relative nobody who had a record deal but who no one gave a shit about, but quickly became the host of a series on the streamers, rich enough to buy a 30 million dollar home in LA, and all this other insanity when you’ve known this bitch and her big tits have been trying to be a big name forever.

I don’t think she’s officially a big name, but money was made and here she is in a red bikini selife, the face looking a little like a bull dog dumpy, the body looking fine from this angle, but if she was to give us a side profile, she’d probably look bloated or pregnant or like a beer drinker….

As it turns out, try hard, fame whore, famous or not…I appreciate a bikini selfie…

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Posted in:Charli XCX