DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

02

Sep

Elizabeth Turner For Maxim of the Day

Elizabeth Turner once hit me up on instagram, it may have been her – or it could have been her manager or PR person trying to promote her – because you know there comes a point in every new model’s career – where they think being on DrunkenStepfather is a decent idea to get 3 likes on their social media…this was when she had just moved from whatever state she moved from – I am going to go with Arizona, because Arizona breeds the sluts…..but within a week of that – she went relatively viral – thanks to her huge tits that I was trying to get a 10% management fee from…you know because like Kris Jenner – I’m an evil exploitative pimp…and she was never to be heard from again…until now…where Maxim took her on some Euro adventure, I guess she’s not desperate anymore, and the tits must stay covered…which always the downfall of minimal success..the whore factor drops substantially…not that this one was ever a whore, but she was eager and I’m sure capable of better performance than this..

I guess what they say is right…there is no god…and life is full of disappointments…

Posted in:Elizabeth Turner|SFW

2016

02

Sep

Elsa Hosk in Demin of the Day

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Here’s a total misuse of an underwear model…

Her name is Elsa Hosk, she’s now a Evil Empire Lingerie model, that’s why she gets all the campaigns and press that she’s getting – other brands love using the girls that the Evil Empire decides they should use – and the whole thing is pretty stupid – since before she was the Candice Swanepoel replacement – she was doing all kinds of nude model photoshoots – and here she is modelling in Jeans…the total opposite of what we want to see her in – unless some of you are weirdos with Demin fetishes, that I only find myself having when I am out in public in fall and a good ass in a pair of jeans is a good thing – but not when I’m looking at slutty model pics of a once nude model turned lingerie model – this is just a fucking outrage, a tragedy, blasphemous – how does this bullshit world of marketing bullshit products for too much money – especially since no one needs any of this bullshit – sleep at night….

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|SFW

2016

02

Sep

Ashley Graham Still Fat for Elle Canada of the Day

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Ashley Graham was the clever, loud, strategic fat girl who got a modelling contract – based on creating some bullshit demand for fat girls to be models – as they are more representative of the general public – while model in general aren’t supposed to be representatives of the general public – they are supposed to be hotter than the general public – so when we look at them we think – god my life sucks I need this product….

But bitches like this come along – and try to upset the norms and try to reinvent the system – all to benefit their lazy, clearly very lazy asses, by trying to make it a bigger sociological thing – like “why am I called fat when I am beautiful”…because you’re fat – dummy.

Then there’s the whole “only my doctor can tell me I’m unhealthy”…and I guess anyone who has read any study on obesity – heart disease and other issues…you dumb fuck..preaching misinformation to fat girls who should be working out everywhere – instead of just fucking working out….take that energy and work out piggy..

But then she started working out and lost 50 pounds, that didn’t show, because she’s got another 100 to go…and her fans and loyal supporters turned on her, which was hilarious – because she was blatantly saying “everything I did to get here was a lie, a marketing spin and now I must get fit”…and that is funny…

Then good news for them – is that she’s still fat…she needs to be – since her only client is a plus sized model clothing company…

Posted in:Ashley Graham|SFW

2016

02

Sep

Tallulah Willis Hot for Instagram of the Day

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Talulah Willis is the more hipster, equally spoiled but pretending she’s down to earth, because she can afford to be with a less potato shaped head…daughter of plastic surgery ridden Demi Moore and the amazing action star Bruce Willis…and I ythink I am in love…

Not because she’s cute, even though anything with a vagina is cute to me at this stage in my life, but because she’s taking her trust fund in the right direction, she’s living the good life, and most importantly, she’s producing amazing content of either her ass…or her tits…I don’t really know what is what I didn’t look too into it…but I am a fan of these girls..

Sure I used to be mean about Rumer Willis, which was pretty basic and dumb as everyone was doing it…but for no real reason besides being assholes…when the reality is they all have hot bodies…and hot bodies is what matters for jerking off…they don’t even need faces for us to do that…

Not to mention…they grew up with egotistical parents – making them all kinds of fucking weird…possibly annoying and high maintenance…or needy and easy to impregnate…very important things to consider when looking at these pics..

Posted in:SFW|Tallulah Willis

2016

02

Sep

Izabel Goulart – Lingerie Model of the Day

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Izabel Goulart did some lingerie runway show – despite being old…she’s still got a few catwalks left in her brazilian hustle…these did the rounds the other day, I didn’t bother posting them because I was doing more important shit…like staring at the fucking wall…something I told someone I do at least 3 hours a day – and they thought I was fucking nuts…but I they underestimate what sleep apnea, alcohol addiction, diabetes, high blood pressure and possibly AIDS can do to an exhausted mind with hatred for most things but an unwillingness to kill myself because it’s all so funny…

I figure put these up a couple day laters because she’s not so famous, but she is so fucking ripped it’s almost disgusting…in a world of fatness, I appreciate a body that is fitness…coupled with a little starvation..

TO SEE the Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Look she’s a modern day Jane Fonda…with a Brazilian accent and a dad who is the owner of a Lingerie Empire….not a famous actor….with an actual toned body…but same fucking thing…

A video posted by Izabel Goulart (@iza_goulart) on Aug 25, 2016 at 7:28am PDT

Posted in:Izabel Goulart|SFW

2016

02

Sep

Megan Williams for Madame Figaro of the Day

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Megan Williams is some instagram model with 150,000 followers so she must be really fucking important…because this magazine featured her..

I had never heard of her, I just assumed she was the white adopted sister of Michelle Williams from Destiny Child, you know cuz their Dad Montel Williams is just a good dude…and their mom Vanessa Williams loves to sing…while her sisters Serena Williams and Venus Williams play tennis..but it turns out she’s from the UK…and not related to them black folk…she is however a model who has worked with Victoria’s Secret, whatever that means, she was never their main bitch, but I guess she was one of the back-up dancers…and she also did stuff for GUESS? because the owners of GUESS? are fucking pervert Moroccans who fucking love big titty blondes…

These are from July, I apologize in advance for not being up to speed on a model I’ve never featured in a world of thousands of fucking models.

Posted in:Megan Williams|SFW

2016

02

Sep

Jena Malone, Abbey Lee and Bella Heathcote Naked in the Neon Demon of the Day

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Recently engaged Jena Malone, who I don’t really remember from anything special, but I have no memory of anything at all, so she’s probably really fucking famous or something…she’s also a mom…out of wedlock…to a kid she named “Ode Mountain DeLorenzo Malone”…at least according to WIKIPEDIA…and that in and of itself is some kind of hilarious “my life is too easy because I made a lot of money in random hollywood movies that I can be on some self discovery journey that is like burning man everyday…where I come up with ridiculous names like Ode Mountain DeLorenzo Malone”….

Well, she’s in an Elle Fanning movie that I don’t think did very well – with other models named Abbey Lee and Bella Heathcote…where they get naked…

The premise is a 16 year old moves to Hollywood to model, even though modelling is more a New York thing, but gets eaten up by the creeper predators…that is the dream of every single instagram model ever…so long as the creepy predator is rich…

Here are some screenshots..if you want to see the clips – rent the movie and support Hollywood billionaires…

(more…)

Posted in:Abbey Le|Bella Heathcote|Jena Malone

2016

02

Sep

Christie Leigh Lingerie in Boring Pics of the Day

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Christie Leigh is some bullshit instagram model – who probably thinks she’s really important – because the new “being a Disney kid”…is having a million followers on social media…allowing you to define your life, your career, and answer to nobody except maybe the skinny teas that are giving you 500 – 5000 dollars a post…silly…

The only challenge is getting to that 1 million instagram followers…it involves doing fake photoshoots for fake magazines that have fake followers to generate some buzz – to feel like you matter – and the nice thing about that hustle, that basic low level idiot hustle…is that a lot of these girls are cute, the world is full of cute girls…so getting them half naked – is a fucking win…for all the men in the world into seeing random cute girls half naked…it’s empowering…

Posted in:Christie Leigh|SFW

2016

02

Sep

Nina Agdal & Hailey Clauson Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes of the Day

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Nina Agdal and Hailey Clauson are part of the Sports Illustrated summer program, where she’s showing her nipples in artistic black and white shoots….because this is art or some bullshit – at some event that Sports Illustrated is probably getting paid a lot of money for, otherwise they wouldn’t bother organizing this shit…unless they realized if they used their hooker promo model team more than just in February when they release the magazine, they can get content all year round…sure it makes the excitement that no one has for the magazine dwindle…if they get it everyday….but we get it everyday – from their hookers and other hookers alike..making none of this shit special, exciting or interesting…even when you can see the trick’s nipples…

Boring.

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Hailey Clauson and Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK3 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Hailey Clauson and Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK3 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Hailey Clauson and Nina Agdal Coney Island, NY, USA 06/17/2016 SWIM-117 TK3 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Mermaid Parade Coney Island, NY, USA 06/18/2016 SWIM-118 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

: Swimsuit 2017: Summer of Swim Behind the Scenes Mermaid Parade Coney Island, NY, USA 06/18/2016 SWIM-118 TK2 Credit: Taylor Ballantyne

Posted in:Hailey Clauson|Nina Agdal|SFW

2016

02

Sep

Ruby Aldridge and Arpana Rayamajh for Some Magazine of the Day

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Ruby Aldridge and Arpana Rayamajh in some fashion magazine as a reminder that behind every 4 million dollar a year model for some Evil underwear brand that no one really understands how she became a part of…other than that she was working the LA scene harder than the TAMPON ads she was booking…is a younger sister…we can also fantasize about having sex with – because sister sex is the best sex – for perverts who like the idea of sisters having sex – which is unfortunately every fucking dude out there…

I don’t know who Arpana Rayamajh, but this isn’t about her, it’s about Ruby Aldridge, my queen an old myspace friend who dumped me around the time her sister booked Victoria’s Secret, and her own career went mainstream, since no one wants a creepy pervert blogger as a friend, it’s a liability…it is also humiliating because blogging is pretty fucking pathetic…but I still remember the good internet times we had together….and for that reason alone…we all must collectively celebrate the enigma, the goddess, the skinny and tall…who looks like an actual model Ruby Aldridge….

Posted in:Ruby Aldridg|SFW