DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

08

Jun

Julianne Hough’s Rockin’ Body of the Day

Julianne Hough is a professional dancer – who should have been a stripper – but I guess white privledge got in the way of that – allowing her to have a career as a professional dancer in the entertainment industry and I guess dance schools need a few of these pros to act as a beacon of hope that their students who are spending money getting their degree in dancing has a purpose – before being forced to become strippers a few years later when student debt needs to be paid off..

She’s also the dancer rumored to fuck her dancing brother – when she’s not having sex with Ryan Seacrest – and if your sister looked like this – you’d probably fuck her too…and not just on Christmas with the family after too much egg nog, but for your entire life…because sometimes genetics don’t outweigh hot pussy…

She’s pretty good…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Julianne Hough|SFW

2016

08

Jun

Miley Cyrus for Plastik Magazine of the Day

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Apparently these are pictures of Miley Cyrus that were never released before, but as you can see it was when she was playing the Miley Cyrus character she had created after fake splitting up with her fiance for the media, the tour, the press and the money that will set them up for less – all it took was a year of work…

Now that the tour is over, her celebrity, her relevance, everything about her just died the fuck off, as she probably expected…because her and her family are media trained and know how it all works…

But in the process, she really did put herself out there, I’ve seen her pussy, I’ve heard her shit music, I appreciated the hustle, it was so modern and inspiring to the youth – leading to way more tumblr porn I need to go on…

So cultural appropriation by a rich Disney kid – playing hipster who didn’t give a fuck – was a great era for this puppet…and here’s some artifacts from that time..and by artifacts I mean pussy…pussy with bush…because all that matters is pussy even if the pics are a year old..

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2016

08

Jun

Jessica Alba for Instyle of the Day

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Jessica Alba is so over exposed, over inflated, over hyped, over rated, over.

But she’s still hot and more importantly, instead of ruining herself with booze and drugs like all the other babes of generation, she just ruined herself with kids, but was able to take advantage of her Latina elastic skin to bounce back, but more importantly, take advantage of the entire situation from trapping her boyfriend / now husband with the pregnancy to leveraging it to become a massive, bullshit, but massive brand of “organic” products for moms…something she’s diverting from being bullshit – by doing media – and shoots like this – showing off her hot mom body – but looking like every other uneventful shoot she’s done….

Still, Alba in a bathing suit for an old timer like me – matters. I like th crawling around in the sand picture. What a whore.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2016

08

Jun

Lily-Rose Depp’s Prom Dress to Celebrate Amber Heard’s Pregnancy of the Day

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Lily Rose Depp is 17 years old, so don’t sexualize her you pervert, I am just posting her prom dress to celebrate youth, that is probably pretty racy, because she is rich and this is the era of 12 year olds at anal sex gangbang parties thanks to growing up on porn, not to mention she’s got a French mother, and historically the french are pretty laid back about sex and partying and she’s got crazy domestic abusing dad and a crazier opportunist step mom who is also a domestic abuser – trying to get in on her inheritance that are too busy being ridiculous to pay attention to her…

I have friends who have been at parties drinking next to her, not knowing she was 15 at the time, it was during Coachella, and while most 15 year olds go to concerts with their parental subervision, she was being hollywood glamourous…the kind of 15 year old 25 year olds in bands probably had sex with – but don’t sexualize her…she’s 17..you have to wait 11 months before she becomes a sexual object – unless you’re a school teacher – in which case you probably love this prom dress porn – prom dresses that once represented lost virginity….an that last night of innocence…something I’m sure Lily Rose is…at least based on living that model life…

She’s definitely – one of my favorites to look out for, the future, and this look, this hair is what all the the young youngs are about – they are all also skinny, not on Facebook or really instagram – and are a lot more interesting than the 27 year old social media whores before them.

I’m just surprised she went to school / graduated school….one of her homies is Kevin Smith’s daughter – in black…trouble…

The latest news is that her stepmom is pregnant with her future half sister – because that’s how dysfunctional behavior works…when you get in with a gold digging opportunist lesbian…idiot…Johnny Depp, but at least he made this…

Posted in:Lily Rose Depp|SFW

2016

08

Jun

Olivia Culpo’s See Through Bathing Suit of the Day

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Olivia Culpo is pretty low level, but she banged a few famous people to establish her own “relevance”…you’ve probably never heard of her, but she was some Pageant girl a few years ago and who got all LA by banging a Jonas brother….getting her a following that allowed her to build her personal brand….

A strategy that included being a NUDE MODEL FOR A MAGAZINE , trying to get more and more high profile – because that’s how it is done these days…and no one wants to be basic…even if all their tactis are basic…

She’s in a bathing suit, that you can makeout the definition of her pussy lips, it’s a bit of an outty and we like pussy lips, even the outty kind…so I have no choice but to post this, even though I prefer ignoring these kinds of people navigating the high society scene of LA…the modern version of what we can assume Kris Jenner did…it’s just fucking lame…but my creepy pervert can’t ignore….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Olivia Culpo|SFW

2016

08

Jun

Daisy Lea’s Shameless Self Promotions of the Day

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Daisy Lea is one of these LA based escorts who does really low level campaigns for water companies run by terrible paparazzi people – that turned to water to try to get out of the paparazzi business – a company that tired to sue me but that don’t actually sell their water – they instead just use it as a fake way to import escorts into the USA, telling them they’ll make the famous, but that they just sell off to LA rich guys as party favors…

So you’ve never heard of Daisy Lea, she’s so low level, just a stripper who wants fame and money and signed onto this shit, but she’s clearly attempting to be known, with a public, for the paparazzi who staged this shoot, pussy flash…because people like pussy flashes…I like pussy flashes…we all like pussy flashes…

But a pussy flash alone isn’t what makes a girl “famous” and they are more fun when the pussy isn’t a prostitute pussy, but rather a pussy on a girl who was of interest or famous pre-pussy flash, but like you, I’ll look at all pussy being flashed. From girl at the bar sending on the second floor balcony, to girl in the park tanning in a bikini with a lip hanging out, to girl walking up stairs in a skirt at the mall..I am up for it…I just know when it’s done like thi s – there’s no authenticity to the pussy flash – I mean obviously….that dress…hilarious.

Posted in:Daisy Lea

2016

08

Jun

Becca Hiller is the Norwegian LA Based Model Who Gets Topless of the Day

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Becca Hiller is some LA based Norwegian model who probably has her work visa because the US Immigration may not like Mexicans, but they hand out these O-1 visas for people with “exceptional” ability like it was fucking candy – to models….all they need is to be published once and to have a model agency, which is often times an escort agency…and that alone gets them into the country for 2-5 years, making them eligible for a Green Card…all for being hot and not even that accomplished…it’s the scam…the scam where America powers that be…like Trump…and I guess all of us…appreciate hot slutty bitches…

I’ve never heard of her, but she’s pretty lovely, even if low level…even if these piss soaked, instagram-like filtering – low concept but featuring hot fashionable tits photoshoots are repetitive as fuck…I still don’t mind staring at new pussy..that will go onto Victoria’s Secret or Sports Illustrated swim because they are actually models and not just instagram models who know their angles…even though all these bitches are instagram models…it’s part of their very easy fucking jobs….that don’t actually pay them that much…but that do hang with rich dudes who like models…and LA is way better than Norway for that…making moves Becca Hiller. Making moves. Hope that throat’s numb and ready for America dreams….

This vibe / look / phootshoot is so done….but people still doing it….

Posted in:Becca Hiller|SFW

2016

08

Jun

Christina Milian for Maxim of the Day

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Christina Milian is almost fascinating to me, I say almost because she totally misses the mark and ultimately she comes across as a vapid attention seeker who thinks she’s hotter than she is – who is just doing what all the instagram whores are doing – getting slutty on social media in this over sexualized world – to get followers – only unlike those whores looking for rich guys to fund their social media life – she’s already rich. She already found her wallet that she fucked and she even had a hit song – that she probably get paid on – back when she was Nicki Minaj before Nicki Minaj…not to mention credits on a bunch of pop songs her husband at the time hooked her up on so that she’d always have money coming in and couldn’t fuck him for alimony…like she was Amber Rose…and I guess she is like Amber Rose…a mom – whore – who doesn’t need to be – but they are trashy and this is what fuels them…it’s what they think their worth is…

So she’s in Maxim, instead of just kickin’ it on a pile of fucking money, because Maxim is that stamp of you’re pussy’s not too banged out yet…even though it is.

Posted in:Christina Milian|SFW

2016

08

Jun

Lindsay Pelas Has Big Tits of the Day

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Lindsay Pelas is one of these instagram whores – who is so low level – and irrelevant that dudes, mainly bros, follow because her tits are fucking absurdly huge and even magical…up on some hormones in the food or just interesting genetics –

She uses her tits as a tool to get ahead, and rightfully so, they are a wonderfully huge talent and it would be a fucking crime if she didn’t use them before the rest of her fattens up, and catches up to her tits, like every busty girl I’ve ever known, when her metabolism slows down at 30…

It’s safe to assume she uses her social media to get paid for sex, because the brands hiring her are not paying much, because they know her audience and worth is all in the tits…to jerk off to…for big titty fetishists, which is pretty much everyone, even if big tits aren’t a prerequisite to fuck, they are magical when they happen without obesity.

I don’t like giving these low level attention seeking whores attention or credibility – but magical tits always win…they always get the best of me – when I get nothing from them because they are cheesy, Vegas-y and into money..but for the record – I posted her first tit video that went viral before 99 percent of people – so she owes me a motorboat / full contact lap dance…etc.

Posted in:LIndsay Pelas|SFW

2016

08

Jun

Maitland Ward Shows Her Tits of the Day

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I hate encouraging Maitland Ward on her quest for attention to emulate the attention she once had many decades ago where she was at the top of her career -as the hot girl in a shitty yet popular show…

I feel like it’s just adding fuel to the fiery bush that she should be showing off since that’s her actual skill set – and that no good will come from giving her any more attention than she’s trying to get – if anything she’s on a slippery slope to losing her fucking mind – and possibly dying of a drug overdose like other fucked up child stars.. who never really mattered beyond the one job they booked…I don’t want to help her by making her think people care – when really they are laughing…

But at the same time, she’s great in her desperation, she fucking loves every second of this low quality titty flash nonsense – hoping that at 40 – her big tits will be celebrated again –

And I fucking love the low level fame whores obsessed with fame – especially when they are who are too old to be social media stars, because they are pre-internet – but they pull out their tits anyway – to get some opens and feel like they are on the right track…

It’s a passion of mine…Maitland Ward…not so much…but I do consider her a friend who I make fun of and who ignores me – who has tits I’d never jerk off to because they are 100 years old…

Posted in:Maitland Ward