DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

22

Jul

Eva Longoria’s Downward Pointing Nipples of the Day

Eva Longoria looks like shit…she’s old, she’s sloppy, but I guess she’s tighter bodied than the Mexicans she hires with their 6 babies as Mexicans do, because she’s got the genetics to be built like a Mexican but she tries so hard to not be a Mexican, she’s a cunt like that…I mean unless when it’s time for her to use it to her advantage like it was Sofia Vergara’s accent..you know that bitch can speak perfect english…

That said, on an international level, Eva Longoria is HUGE. People are fucking obsessed with her, they think she’s some philanthropist or superstar, it’s like the David Hasselhoff effect where no one in AMerica gives a fuck about the motherfucker, but the rest of the world just latched on and love that person…

Not that that matters, or her and yet another man / husband / it’s not her first…in her bikini looking dumpy and it’s not just me saying that…it’s her nipples…blame the nipples..stare at the vag.

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2016

22

Jul

Hilary Duff – ZIKA Virus? of the Day

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Hilary Duff is the kind of girl who has the weirdest fans, probably the social awkward kind who have gone through a series of therapy their entire lives to try to integrate them into society – but their ADD and obsessive compulsive disorders brought on by autism – are committed to this bitch….

She can be 300 pounds, or have a dick, and they’d still be committed to her, ready to marry her, waiting for her, just weirdo superfans – you know who don’t ever evolve…because that’s scary…

Well, Hilary Duff got hit by mosquitos and I figure since her fans jerk off to anything she does, they might as well go at this mosquito bite porn – or better – ZIKA porn…always innovating Hilary Duff / forcing her fan to dig into weird places for new orgasms to her…

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2016

22

Jul

Charlie XCX Ass in Concert of the Day

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Charlie XCX is looking less sloppy in concert – for those of you who don’t know Chalie XCX – she’s a virtual nobody who was a bit fatter than this and who used her tits and ass as a marketing angle – in what came across as a bootleg Miley Cyrus, try hard, concept – but I guess it works for her, she tours…even if you don’t know any of her of bullshit music….

Well, she’s been keeping up appearances by wearing what is a pretty skimpy panty and weight loss or not – her pussy still looks fat…works for me but only because it’s pictures and I don’t need to watch her desperation in video doing akward dances while not even being cute….there have been so many of these slutty pop tarts who never quite make it – but who get naked..it’s a genre of it’s own…this is just the one that’s dominating the space for now..

Posted in:Charlie XCX|SFW

2016

22

Jul

Sofia Vergara’s Tits on Set of the DAy

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Sofia Vergara is some hooker – who tricked the right client to give her a shot in the entertainment industry – under what I assume was extortion…thanks to the help of her Colombian team of drug cartel gangsters who helped her orchestrate it…

Because…Sofia Vergara and her hypnotic tits were once ILLEGAL immigrants that Donald Trump would have married if he was into Hispanics more than Eastern Euros….she smuggled herself into Florida with her kid in tow…and now..in her 40s she’s a superstar actress who can barely speak english…and it’s not because she gets nudes – it’s because she’s tactical…and what Trump is warning you about illegals..they get into your economy and just take it over…

She’s in lingerie on set, her fans love it, I’d prefer seeing her earlier porn or exposing her story – for what it actually is – but that we’ll never figure out because as we know – people take what they are told at face value – instead of researching……but maybe no one would care – since her tits is all that matters…

All I can think about when seeing her in her expensive shaping lingerie, is that 87 percent of Muslim these fundamentalist Muslim women who are in Hijabs, you know full bed sheets, actually wear really slutty lingerie, sometimes with anal beads inside them, because they are only human…even if you don’t think they are because you’re racist.

Posted in:SFW|Sofia Vergara

2016

22

Jul

Christina Ricci’s Merkin of the Day

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Christina Ricci is back at work, I guess she’s ready to hit the scene again – now that she’s got a kid to send to college or some shit – maybe she’s always been working and I just stopped paying attention – because there was a weird period between being the child star, turned busty indy movie queen, to having a breakdown, cutting off her tits, and doing some tv show like Ally McBeal….which is where we left her…

Well, she posted a picture of her MERKIN on set, which you know is her bush in the shape of panties so that she an give the illusion of a hot bush, without being bottomless, but with Merkin – usually comes TITTIES…

Just ask Lisa Bonet, who I guess is on some show doing what Bill Cosby taught her back when American was great and Rapists were allowed to sell JELL-O products…

Posted in:Christina Ricci|SFW

2016

22

Jul

Doutzen Kroes VS Mariah Carey Cunt Flash for Charity of the Day

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Doutzen Kroes flashed her vagina in the worst way – but not actually flashing her vagina while attending world leader and bullshit model fucker Leonardo DiCaprio…who along with fucking models and men according to my sources – he also is an activist, with his own charity that is coincidentally a tax write off but also proof of his caring….

So dude who flies private jets and cries about the environment – who owns houses around the world that all use power – who owns cars that all burn gas – and who makes stupid fucking money – shows that he’s not bullshit – by putting on celebrity events – that cost millions of dollars to raise a fraction of that for charity…

But it makes him feel good….like Doutzen Kroes feels when getting invited, like she still matters….
TO SEE THE REST OF DOUTZEN THE PICS CLICK HERE

Mariah Carey and her big old lady tits were also there, and she also flashed what could be a vagina if it was a vagina – but it’s not her vagina…

TO SEE THE REST OF MARIAH CAREY CLICK HERE

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Mariah Carey|SFW

2016

22

Jul

Nicole Scherzinger’s Bikini Twerk of the Day

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Who gives a fuck about Nicole Scherzinger…even when she’s in a bikini on an expensive boat – twerking…

Her entire career was based on twerking on stage in lingerie…this is the older and tired…still fit version.

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger|SFW

2016

22

Jul

Alexis Ren is Working It of the Day

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Alexis Ren is naked for the internet – or for fashion – or for a great photographer who is at the top of his game – David Bellemere – for what is probably LUI magazine – because if you want to make it – you gotta get naked…

Alexis Ren is some whore who you probably know as the girl with a hot body and shitty face who masterfully navigated the social media landscape by finding a male model content producing boyfriend who she could collaborate on and not just through her vagina – but through aspriational, young love, paradise dream content…that I know at least 3-6 girls who have actually followed their lead and found themselves a boyfriend they travel the world with, holding hands in the sands of Thailand or some shit…

She has created a brand of porn without penetration that targets women who have miserable lives dreaming of a life partner they can go on permanent vacation with…

It’s not that amazing, it’s just amazing that she’s not that hot, but I think that helps her cause because it makes her lie more believable and accessible…

Nothing is real..but I think her tits are..

Posted in:Alexis Ren|SFW

2016

22

Jul

Lindsay Lohan Slutty Words of Wisdom of the DAy

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If history were to be folded …
Where would we put the crease?
Pray for the ones we lose everyday and appreciate every breathe you ???????? we???????? all ???????? take #nice #turkey #turnup and do something (goodnight and sleep with an idea for the future)

Academy Award Winner in training and Sugar Baby Billionaire Wife because she’s spent all of her money – because was dirty money that represented her parent’s exploitation of her…the robbing of her childhood….her early life celebrity…that led to her demise in her 20s….her entire 20s…but she’s a survivor, she didn’t self destruct, she is just perfectly shameless and shallow and pretending to have depth….but then again she’s so fragile that it probably makes her sad and hurt on the inside…trigger warning….setting her off down that slippery slope of destruction….

But seeing a sexy posing Lohan telling you to sleep with an idea for the future…whatever the fuck that means, I mean her future involves being trophy ex celebrity wife to a Russian who still gets excited by american pop culture….is inspiring…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

22

Jul

Good Old Fashioned Misogyny at Baywash Bikini Carwash of the Day

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I am not a misogynist, I am just misquoted as one by idiots who don’t really understand feminist political theory…I like misogynistic things…but believe in empowering women by catering to men’s erections….

So I don’t find a Baywash Bikini Carwash to be something actually misogynistic, I’ve wanted to open a bikini carwash for years, I’ve also wanted to open a bar that has wet t-shirt and mud wrestling events every night, like old times, when these kinds of things were socially accepted, loved and just part of the american fabric – that is the greatness that was what America once was and probably the greatness TRUMP is trying to sort out because he’s a fucking pig – who would be all about this shit every time he’s in Florida…possibly an investor when he was down in Florida practicing his presidential inaugural speech…

Good old fashion American dreams…the closest thing to a stripper with a purpose – and it gives instagram whores with good bodies a purpose, something to do, since not all can be Em Rat Cow…

Here’s their instagram CLICK HERE

Posted in:Photos|SFW|stepNEWS