DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

22

Mar

Eliza Cummings Tits for Marie Claire Italy of the Day

Eliza Cummings is a 25 year old model who has never heard anyone make a cum reference to her name being cumming especially when you factor in how fucking good she looks, especially topless, like all models pretty are and should be, as that is their sacrifice to the world, their nipples, so that they don’t have to live a normal 9-5 life where they actually work, but rather get to focus on the important things in life like free hand outs, social climbing through sex, and finding rich guys to marry or get knocked up by, especially if they don’t start out rich.

She’s with a Rothschild, a member of the richest families in the world…a family rumored to won the world’s gold supply, and the route of all the conspiracies…but she likes him for his kindness.

Either way, here are her tits for David Bellemere, the hardest working man in the luxury, high end, tits photography…

I am pretty sure these are old pics, recycled, but tits are still tits…so tits.

Posted in:Eliza Cummings

2016

22

Mar

Em Rat Cow is So Busted of the Day

No Comments »

I didn’t want to post this pics, or endorse or support Em Rat Cow more than I already have, not because I hate her, I just think she’s overrated garbage that belongs in a strip club, unless her parents are rich, in which case dancing in the bottle service booth with other rich guys she fucks…

I don’t think she should be in movies or TV, because some misguided (word of the day) producer fucked her, likes her tits, or thinks Hype means dollar signs…even if the hype is just social media hype, not real hype, or talent or compelling anything, but tits…

Sure tits have historically got girls so far ahead, but we are in a world where we have options and just because these tits got millions of followers by being tits, doesn’t mean all the other tits out there don’t matter…so next time you see some tits, tell those tits you care, and that Em Rat Cow and her shitty face, even if she’s not a shitty person, but probably is, isn’t the only tits in the world, despite what Em Rat Cow is trying to say…or thinks…

She’s just like TILA TEQUILA from myspace, millions of followers, give her a show, let her ride hight 2-4 years, before self destructing because bitch never had it, it was all inflated lies…

She’s Had her 5 minutes – give it to someone else goddamn it..

THAT SAID…she’s got an amazing body.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2016

22

Mar

Kendall Jenner is Not a Self Involved Cunt of the Day

No Comments »

I guess seeing Kendall Jenner staring at herself would make you think “damn, this girl is a self involved cunt”…well that’s just obvious, when you’re in a family of self involved cunts, you need to be a self involved cunt, because otherwise you starve…despite your hired help feeding you, but you know what I mean, and that’s if your own parents only like you because you are an extension of themselves and can’t bother with you because they are too into themselves, you gotta do you…or some shit.

So I just see it more as a shameless plug to a brand she has obligations to because they paid her, and she’s attempting to be more creative than just posting the catalog pic, because Kendall Jenner is not just art people, but also an artist, or that’s what she’s like to believe because no one likes the reality that they are just a puppet, modern version of an Avon lady, peddling product to about 2 million half retards worldwide, in a country with 350 million people…

She’s garbage…but that goes without saying..

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

22

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio for a Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

When you’re raised in Brazilian Poverty…or really in Brazil in general, because it is a dangerous place at least according to Liveleak, where shit like this – happens to girls on the regular:

You take advantage of you tall model body and the mid 2000 Brazil hype you call the “blessing” your catholic god has given you to be a nude or half nude model for an evil billion dollar corporation, to help put Brazil on the map, or to at least make money so you and your family never have to work again….you don’t let a pregnancy ruin your fucking body like you were arrogant Adriana Lima, just too cocky in her look to really stop from being a mom by 30…

Unless she was bred in a Victoria’s Secret lab in the middle of the Brazilian jungle using technology and medical procedures that aren’t regulated there…

Either way, what I am trying to say, is that despite her no contraception thanks to a love for Jesus and the Pope practices, her kids haven’t destroyed her from being fit as fuck..

Unless this is photoshop – which it can’t be, there’s no way..

Old News (literally), Shit pics (definitely)

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2016

22

Mar

Magdalena Frackowiak Nipples for ZOO of the Day

No Comments »

This is a model named Magdalena Frackowiak who I am guessing is from Russia or some other communist country that is no longer communist but that I pretend is still communist for the sake of comedy…because rationed toilet paper, breadlines, and a love for contraband levis jeans appeals to me and makes me laugh…but not as hard as hot bitches who need to marry fat, lonely Americans to escape their hell, I mean unless they try to other strategy, climbing through Siberian mountains in the snow, hoping to live…..or webcamming..

She’s actually Polish, and is or was a signed model for Victoria’s Secret who friends from New York have told me is actually a cunt..but people are mean, not me, but most people get all sad when a girl is too good for them or doesn’t fuck them…not that it matters..

What matters is that she’s in the is shoot for ZOO, that isn’t the cheesy ZOO UK I assumed it was, unless it was a rebrand, which is too bad because I like when these bitches get a taste of fame before hitting absolute rock bottom..

Posted in:Magdalena Frackowiak

2016

22

Mar

Pam Anderson’s Misguided Photoshoot for Misguided of the Day

No Comments »

Canada’s own, Pam Anderson is the face of some brand called misguided, and we can assume that the only misguided person was the person booking Pam Anderson for the job, because she’s washed up despite beating Hepatitis, she’s 48, (sure she is) and she’s still half naked modeling because it is all she knows…

It’s not that I hate Pam Anderson, I don’t think I ever jerked off to her, but I didn’t mind the cheesy 90s fake tit, blonde hair, petite body image she created and everyone imitated…

She was the low level celebrity, sex tape peddling, shameless and nude with a ton of work done, that led to a generation of stripper looking women who looked like bootleg versions of her, paving the way for Kim Kardashian to do the same thing, just with being fat, brown and doughy with a small waist….Yes, they are the same person…different generations and different levels of plastic but still what girls turned to do define what guys wanted to fuck…while Pam Anderson was always fuckable and still is, while Kim K is just a fucking monster…

I guess what I am saying, if they are going for 90s washed up, they shoulda used Mr Belding and Pauley Shore…because at least there’s more comedy than sadness with them doing sexy shoots…because seeing her model is sad…she must be an investor in the company..

Posted in:Pam Anderson|SFW

2016

22

Mar

Adele Twerking Disturbs me of the Day

No Comments »

I saw this video of Adele twerking the other day and had no real interest in posting it – mainly because I don’t like fat chicks, especially since Adele is one of those real fat chicks who can’t even find pants that fit her, so instead wears large pieces of fabric wrapped around her to cover up…

She’s the best selling “artist” around, but that doesn’t me her jiggling on stage, something she’s calling a twerk, isn’t anything more than just bending over…and moving slightly for the wave of fat to follow.

If anything, she’s just like your lonely never married aunt at a family wedding with one too many drinks in her…grinding up against one of the groomsmen because she hasn’t had a dick in her for decades, not that Adele doens’t fuck or have kids, it’s just that she probably shouldn’t fuck because it’s a terrible visual, one that hits closer to home when she’d doing this. Terrible…

Posted in:Adele|SFW|Videos

2016

22

Mar

Romanian Weather Girl’s Tit Pops Out of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s a video that I assume is making the rounds on Reddit, since every single “men’s site” clickbait with shitty editorial site has posted it, making me feel like I am late to the club, if I actually believed anything Romanian TV was newsworthy…

I mean I get that frat boys, bros and closet cases get excited when they see tits, like a bunch of primates in the cage jerking off each other waiting to date rape the next ape that walks in, but as someone who spends time in strip clubs and actually fucking hookers, tits just don’t really matter..

Big tits, little tits, all tits, mastectomy tits, all tits are just tits..

But I guess seeing Roxana Vancea, this Romanian Weather girl doing jumping jacks on some bootleg low budget shit, in an era where I just assumed Romania didn’t even own or have TV technology yet, is better than nothing…because when you’re competing with Weather APPS, the only way to get people into watch weather is with tits.

Fascinating…because she’s not even hot..she looks like a trans man…

Posted in:Roxana Vancea|SFW|Videos

2016

22

Mar

Ceiling TWERK FAIL and Other Videos of the Day

No Comments »

There’s Been Terrorist Attacks in Europe – in the Belgian Airport The End is Near…

Elephant VS Human!! YAY ELEPHANT!!

Detroit Girl Shooting – What! Motor City…

11 Year Old Driving a Stolen Cement Truck

Bus VS City Worker

Ultimate Roat Rage – DUMP Soil

French Spiderman

Brazilians Disposing of Brazilian Women – WTF

Woman VS Sales Woman

Arrest Warrant for this Football Social Media Idiot:

“Hey Kameron, We found you. Great arm. Bad decision. An arrest warrant has been issued for you. You can turn yourself in at the Gulf Shores Police Department.”
Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6cc_1458590299#tehIrw88V01vlD4p.99

Drunk Driver VS Utility Pole

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2016

22

Mar

RIP Motherfucker the ROB FORD Edition of the Day

No Comments »

Rob Ford – Not Tom Ford – Succumbs to Putting Toronto on the Map Again / Crack Addiction / Cancer…by Dying…

I don’t live in Canada, but I am Canadian, and this is something everyone expected to happen, seeing as he was 400 pounds and went pretty fucking hard and was hilarious.

I know Toronto people hated him, at least all the Toronto people I know, but I am convinced he did more for Toronto by making a joke out of Toronto, than Drake did, seeing as a Mayor of a top tier massive city, admitting to smoking crack like it aint a thing, after being caught smoking crack amongst so much more craziness…was almost revolutionary..

RIP Rob Ford…a mayor’s mayor….

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos