I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2015

08

Sep

Selena Gomez is on a Boat in a Bikini of the Day

Selena-Gomez-1

Apparently, this is Selena Gomez and one of her many sisterhoods, she’s in a bikini or a bikini top…because even she knows she’s too dumpy for bikini bottoms…and unlike her friends, she’s got all the pressure on her to look good because she’s Selena Gomez…which is probably why she got the fake tits…or maybe that was deeper rooted issues caused by the rejection from Beiber who I assume cheated on her, because you know how these entitled bitches are…the worst in bed….but still in a bikini so whatever…

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2015

08

Sep

Kourtney Kardashian Grinds her Mom Vag Against a Bike Seat of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-09-08 at 3.06.20 PM

There was a period of time where I got excited by girls on bikes…not necessarily in bikinis on bikes..just on bikes in general…because I knew their vaginas were rubbing against the seat really hard…and on hot summer days…vile and sexy…dripping with seat and broken dreams…

But when I see Kourtney Kardashian doing it, it doesn’t make me want to sniff the seat when she’s in the store buying a drink…like I do with some girls…if anything it’s repulsive…after all the babies and Kardashian pollution that comes with being a Kardashian…but for some reason…I’m still looking..

IF YOU”RE INTO BIKE SEATS -> ENTER OUR STATE BICYCLE COMPANY -> WIN A FREE BIKE CONTEST
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|SFW

2015

08

Sep

Zoe Kravitz Nipple of the Day

zoe-kravitz-090815

I don’t like Zoe Kravitz…

But she showed her fans her nipples…because I guess she’s performing music now…

I guess it only makes sense that she’d leverage her dad’s success when he’s not flashing the world his penis, allowing her to record what I assume is life changing sounds, because she is tired of just being an instagram model, and feels like the world deserves to be blessed with her gift…or some shit..

I don’t dislike Zoe Kravitz because she’s used her family to get ahead, that shit never phases me, I mean why wouldn’t she…

I just don’t like what seems like a pretty garbage personality…but she’s shpwing her nipples on stage…for you to see and for people to talk about…because nipples aren’t sexual, even though ever dude likes sucking them while fucking and every girls likes them being sucked while getting fucked…but they are for feeding babies…for 1.5 years of a 85 year life…so stop jerking off to them…pervert..and keep showing them off girls…I need to see ever nipple ever made…

To See More Zoe Kravitz Performing CLICK HERE

Posted in:Zoe Kravitz

2015

08

Sep

Bella Thorne Bikini Snapchat of the Day

Bella-1

We are in the tail end of Bella Thorne being 18. Her birthday is Oct 8….meaning one more month to the day before she’s legal…so take it in, pure, innocent, 17 year old girl in a bikini, that is hardly erotic, but erotic enough because you know as well as I know, that this generation of kids, not even Hollywood kids around the shitty behind the glamour of the industry, are so into porn at a young age, that a month isn’t going to change her month….but in the USA, she is criminal to fuck…and she can’t pose nude…but she can cocktease…

I am not really interested in young girls, they don’t know how to fuck, they just sort of sit there terrified, and that’s in their early 20s, so I doubt at 17 they’d be any better, so I’m not interested, but I guess as an actor and the pride of her family, she knows how to throwdown and not just because she poses her young body in a bikini…because that’s just the way it is..

So take it in, one more month of Bella Thorne…who is more interesting a 17 year old that her gutter counterparts…the Kardashians…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2015

08

Sep

Ashley Benson’s Nipples of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-09-08 at 2.49.02 PM

ashley_benson3

I posted these Ashely Benson in a bikini, looking less fat yet still busty in a bikini, than she did a few months ago, when she was more fat and still busty in a bikini…because she’s one of those not quite fat, just sloppy and soft bodied, because her focal point is her tits, and that comes stock with big tits, unless you’re a freak of nature or you have fake tits…so to like big tits, means you like soft chicks, they are one in the same…

I am not against Ashley Benson, even when I saw she could lose another 10 pounds, I still want to fuck her, so I just want to keep that clear…

Just because I say these people are overrated, talentless, trash that lucked out, doesn’t mean I don’t want to fuck them….it just means I can’t fuck them becuase my penis is broken..

That said, someone altered this pic she posted on her instagram and it looks like nipples..

We like nipples…They are what make the tit…otherwise you’re a cancer survivor or a sex doll..

collage

Posted in:Ashley Benson

2015

08

Sep

Hipster Photoshoot of the Day

hipsters-1

There’s some fashion magazine called HUNTER MAGAZINE ….and I guess it blurs the line between fashion and hipster and artist that is actually not art, but these idiots think is art or high concept because all these idiots are phonies who encourage each other to be phony…try hard weirdos..because if they all encourage each other…it seems more real..

I’m talking the new feminists with Armpit hair who showcase their armpit hair as part of a trend, but who still take selfies like vapid fame whores..

Or Vegans who don’t are Vegan 80 percent of the time…but talk about it 100 percent of the time..

You know the assholes I’m talking about, well here they are topless in a field…LOLZ..

Posted in:Photos

2015

08

Sep

Sarah Hyland Bikini Lesbianism of the Day

sarah

So Sarah Hyland was on vacation for one of her friend’s birthdays and I guess Labor Day…and some other chick from Bring It On, but not the original Bring it On, but rather Bring it On: In it to Win It…which I guess was the real Bring it On….Cassise Scerbo…oh she was also in Sharknado, that’s how we know she matters…

So Sarah Hyland, the creepy really young looking, but over 18 year old, child star, posed with her friend in a bikini, which is enough for basic bitches like yourself to think “Omg lesbians, together in bikinis”…rahter than “Look too chicks in a bikini”….which we can assume they are…even if the younger generation eat each other out, because they see it in porn and gender and sexuality has no age…

And if Sarah Hyland’s not a lesbian.why is she kissing ELLEN….

Screen Shot 2015-09-08 at 2.00.38 PM

Here’s another video of her friends in Cabo….

And pics:

HEre are a couple of girls doing a flip….becuase you can see pussy definition in their bikinis pre-spring…

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2015

08

Sep

Paloma Faith for Agent Provocateur of the DAy

Paloma-Faith-Agent-Provocateur-Fall-2015-Campaign06

I am pretty sure I’ve never heard any Paloma Faith music, or of Paloma Faith, but it is my pet peeve when I read “I don’t know who this is, but she’s in unerwear”…even though I don’t know who she is and she’s in underwear…

That said, apparently she’s a UK singer who is in her mid 30s, and for some reason, I assume called sleeping or being friends with the people who run the brand of the high end, expensive, perceived high quality, higher concept designs than Victora’s Secret, that is just white trash, while Agent Provocateur is a throwback to what lingerie is all about…being sexy and giving boners…while making girls feel hot, even when they are 5/10 in terms of excitement like this girl..

Posted in:Paloma Faith

2015

08

Sep

Jessica Hart for Harper’s Bazaar

Jessica-Hart-Harpers-Bazaar-Australia-October-2015-Cover-Photoshoot01

Jessica Hart is dating, or was dating, and assume still dating, billionaire heir Stavros, who has pretty much dated every girl who was relevant in the early 2000s, because girls, all girls, like young billionaires, especially when they don’t look like hobbits, but still would fuck with them if they did, thanks to their money….

I can’t imagine she’d ever let him dump her, that’d be bad business and a bad retirement plan, it’d be smartest for her to just ride it out, even if miserable, because money does buy happiness…

Well, she can’t be an obvious gold digger, so she has to do media, like this Australia, where she’s from Harper’s Bazaar, where another Australian Gold Digger is on the cover of (miranda kerr)…it’s part of the Australian model plight…I guess…

All this to say…statistically she has Paris Hilton strain herpes…and to some that may be a fetish, to me, it’s a little repulsive…on that note, here’s her photoshoot…

Posted in:Jessica Hart|SFW

2015

08

Sep

The Rock is a hero of the Day

Rock-Puppies

Here’s a feel good story brought to you by The Rock, because we all smell what he is cooking, money…lot of fucking money…because people fucking love him..and I guess as someone who doesn’t give a fuck about The Rock, or his shitty movies, have no choice but to appreciate this story of him saving his Frenchie, which is a Pug Cousin, as a pug owner, who loves all things pugs…

Making him a hero…a very large hero…

Here’s a fun Labor Day weekend story… We just decided to add to new members to our Johnson family. Baby French Bulldogs. In my right hand is BRUTUS and in my left hand is HOBBS.
Bring them home and immediately take them outside so they can start learning how to “handle their business and potty like big boys”. I set them both down and they both take off in a full sprint and fall right into the deep end of our pool. HOBBS immediately starts doggy paddling while BRUTUS (like a brick) sink heads first to the bottom of the pool.

I take off into a full sprint, fully clothed, dive in the pool, swim to the bottom, rescue my brick, I mean BRUTUS and bring him back to the edge of the pool. He was a little delirious.. took a moment, threw up all the water he swallowed and looked up at me as if to say, “Thank God you didn’t have to give me mouth to mouth!” and then ran off to play with his brother.

A few lessons I’ve learned today.. A) Not all puppies have the instinct to doggie paddle. B) Some puppies (like BRUTUS) will be so in shock by experiencing water they will sink extremely fast so react quick. C) While spiriting to save your puppies life, before you dive in, try and throw your cel phone to safety. Don’t keep it in your pocket… like I did.

Sure it’s not tits..but it is puppies and sometimes, especially when dealing with shitty tits, puppies are better…It is also better than anything about Miley, Kardashians, or whoever that are polluting our lives today…

Posted in:SFW|The Rock