DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

11

Aug

Vanessa Hudgens Fetish Picture of the Day

Here’s Vanessa Hudgens…being…amazing… and she knows it…

The one thing I know about Vanessa Hudgens, other than that she’s a hairy little well trained Disney performer…if you know what I mean…

She’s also…pretty clear on the power of marketing behind selfies…when those selfies are either nude, or speaking to any fetish, because the core of humanity are fucking perverts and as Disney Taught her, if you feed inot that perversion…you come out on top…even if it means letting a lot of guys cum to you…

I mean flexibility posts are never anything less than “look at me spread my pussy as far as humanly possible, airing out the matted bush, sweat and Zac Effron, but still spreading her fucking pussy at a serious level, and that’s amazing…and why Gymanstics matters.

Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Hudgens

2015

11

Aug

Some Gigi Hadid for Vanity Fair of the Day

No Comments »

I talk about Gigi Hadid being rich and overrated too much. I talk about her dad being a creeper who fucks other models her age, so it makes sense that he invested in marketing her, she’s cute, she’s skinny, but the fact she wants to be famous or a Kardashian, because that’s the LA way, and her mom is married or was married to Brody Jenner’s stepfather, David Foster, in a “we are in LA and we all fuck each other”…weirdness…

But she did Vanity Fair, like her BFF Taylor Swift, who probably put it in her contract, because it’s part of her taking over the world strategy, not to mention, her friends need press to make her more relevant, not to mention, they probably all fuck each other, because it’s entertainment industry weirdness, and this shit’s the new Manson family cult…and unfortunately not the Jonestown Massacre cult…I think pop culture needs…

She looks good, but she’s still only here cuz she’s rich…which I guess is why anyone is anywhere…

Here she is leaving or going to Kylie Jenner’s 18th birthday, because it’s the most important day EVER…

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2015

11

Aug

Kylie Minogue’s in Almost Flashes a Tit of the Day

No Comments »

I have this theory that Kylie Minogue is a robot. I know that’s giving Australia a lot of credit, because I am going to go out on a limb here and assume the only contribution Australia has really made on the world, other than being the island to send crazed criminals to be put in exile on, is Crocodile Dundee, a few average actors, and Outback Steak House…Bloomin’ Onion..that I’m sure is American made…just Australia themed, it was the early 90s…

The main reason I think she’s a Robot is because she’s been working in the industry, I’m talking chart topping songs in AMerica, since the 80s…yet she still looks like this…

IF you’ve ever met an Australian, they all turn into this wrinkled, haggard, sun damaged, white trash looking thing by the time they turn 25, unless they move away…so at what must be 60, she looks awesome…

Not to mention, she’s a cancer survivor, which does a whole other pile of damage on you, like yesterday I saw a cancer ridden woman, at least I’m basing my prognosis on her bald chemo head and the fact that she looked like she was n the park dying slowly, and her feet were this bright purple…in sandals, difficult to eat my lunch while staring at them…but the girl in a bikini was next to her….so I had no choice…

Not that it matters…what matters is Kylie is amazing. Here’s another one of her filming that music video…

A video posted by Kylie Minogue (@kylieminogue) on Aug 9, 2015 at 11:29am PDT

Here are some bikini poics of her from her instagram…

Posted in:Kylie Minogue|SFW

2015

11

Aug

Sarah Hyland’s Fit of the Day

No Comments »

Sarah Hyland is pretty beefy…she’s the creepy character in Modern Family, that you probably wanted to fuck, you’re a fucking pervert, and like young looking girls…especially when they are over 18 becuase it’s legal…

I assume she clearly had some genetic disorder that slowed down her aging, something we can assume her stage parents fed her everyday until she go on a hit shot, you know as producers want tween actors without the child labor laws….

But now, she’s hitting the gym, possibly to learn how to defend herself from her faggot boyfriends that beat her up and she needs to get restraining orders against, or maybe to get more booty…which would make the most sense, because her mother figure was Sofia Vergara, and we know that ho-roll…

It’s kinda hot.

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2015

11

Aug

Ashley Benson’s Big Lesbian Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

The nice thing about chubby girls is usually her tits, especially when clothed, because it allows the owner of them titties to strap them up in either a pus up bra, or really tight spandex tank top, that makes them tits look like they might as well be silicone, when her gunt is cropped out of the pic, which grounds us and reminds us…#cake….and #pizza….

Most girls can get big tits and great cleavage too, just start eating, never leave your house, and post strategic selfies from the right angles…and those girls who can’t get big tits by eating, but can get fat, are just despressing to look at naked…it’s like you’re fat and you don’t even have big tits, what’s your point in life…that’s right nothing…I mean nothing sexually…well that’s not true…cuz dudes love sticking their dicks in mouths, pussies and asses, and accept obesity even when it comes with small tits…because we’re a progressive society who don’t hate fat girls anymore…

Now Ashley Benson’s only obese by Hollywood terms, but I think she’s still lovely…and I would be her friend, even though I don’t believe in friendship, unless it involves taking baths together….

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2015

11

Aug

Taylor Swift Plays the Word Association Game of the Day

No Comments »

If you’re interested in self involved, overly famous, most powerful performer in the world, because the more information people have, the dumber they seem to get, and people still get to this massive level of fame, when really we should be spreading our time, money, and everything else on other more talented and obscure acts…I mean isn’t this the hipster generation, the mainstream hipster generation, who just look at act counter culture, but who eat up everything pop culture, and not even to be ironic…

YOu’re all fucking idiots….

So here’s some Taylor Swift in Vanity Fair discussing VERY interesting things like turning 30 in 2020…

All this to say, shut the fuck Taylor Swift, and all her puppet friends and lovers on the Taylor Swift train…the worst…but at least she’s skinny and has long legs and pretends she’s a model…it’s not bad.

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2015

11

Aug

Paula Bulczynska For Emanuele Ferrari of the Day

No Comments »

I’ve posted pics of this model Paula Bulczynska naked before, even some pics from this shoot with Emanuele Ferrari …..but here are the rest of them and I am forced to post them because I am in love with this Paula girl…I am sure…she may be the next big thing.

But maybe I am just saying that because she reminds me of a couple of Russian hookers, we named the Russian Mofia, because we wanted to make them feel like they weren’t hookers, but part of an organized crime ring, rather than girls desperate to fuck for money, because Russians have no souls and that kind of sex for money thing doesn’t affect them, but instead buys them designer purses….Designer purses that help them sell richer dudes on fucking them because they seem less like whores and more like Sugar Babies…or Trophy wifes….which went smoothly until the Russian Mafia heard me call them Russian, to which she got in my face, like she was going to kill me and said “I am not Russian, I am Lituanian…don’t ever call me Russian”….instense.

I don’t know if Paula is even Russian, but I do know what her tits look like and that’s better….

Posted in:Paula Bulczynska

2015

11

Aug

Nicola Peltz Photoshoot Bra for Instagram of the Day

No Comments »

Nicola Peltz is the daughter of a billionaire, so for all practical purposes, is a billionaire too, because where else is dad’s money going to go when he dies, to ex wives, future wives, maybe, but I’m sure the trust has a good chunk of cash directed Nicola Peltz’s way…

Yet she’s still posting multiple pics of her bra on her social media, like a a high school girl on a field trip flashing cars, to be shocking or scandalous, or noticed…because no matter how rich a girl is…she still seeks male or really any attention…In fact, often time the rich girls expect the attention…because they’re brats…

And the whole thing brings up a pretty important question, other than the obvious daddy issues, is why would anyone try to be a famous actor, when they already have all the money in the world, it’s like move to the Caribbean or Europe or anywhere in the fucking world, and just sleep all day, or go on adventures, or make a fucking difference…

Instead, this one decides to be an actress, the hot girl in Transformers 4 years ago…then nothing…

Weird.

Posted in:Nicola Peltz|SFW

2015

11

Aug

The Tits from Blurred Lines Video in a Towel of the Day

No Comments »

The Tits from Blurred Lines Video wore a towel for Mario Testino, who is a famous photographer, and towel fetishist who takes a picture of every girl he is paid to shoot in a towel, that he publishes into a towel book, that the client who paid for him and for the “talent” or in this case “the tits”…gets no part of, because he’s a double dipping opportunist…and who really cares that he’s self serving, when he takes mediocre pictures of important people and in this case “the tits from a music video two years ago”….

What I am trying to say is that this picture would be more interesting if “The Tits from Blurred Lines Video” was acting more in line with her skillset and showing The Tits from Blurred Lines Video….not covering it up…She’s the worst…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2015

11

Aug

Kim Kardashian Nude Pregnant Selfie of the Day

No Comments »

It’s pretty obvious that the timing is perfect for Kim Kardashian to drop her pregnant selfie nude on instagram, because it’s always a good time for anyone to post nude selfies on instagram, even cows like Kim Kardashian, who is the worst kind of fame whore…but people still care and still watch her family, especially now that the young one turned 18 and the world noticed for about 2 seconds it didn’t deserve…

I am just surprised it wasn’t a ready to drop porn video, because she’s just that kind of person…anything to get noticed…but I guess she’s not a drug addict down on her luck…homeless person who is only pregnant because she can’t afford the abortion, so she does ready to drop porn to get through it…because Kim Kardashian is more rich as fuck and pregnant because it fits into her aggressively marketed storyline…and this is supposed to be seen as “beautiful”…not trashy…even though the thought of her reproducing is terrifying, not that she’ll raise the kid, so it may be saved, but because her genes should have died with her dignity many years ago when she chose this whore life.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|SFW