DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

04

Jun

Alessandra Ambrosio L’Officiel Turkey of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is Officiel in Turkey in what are probably old pictures of the mom of 2, Victoria’s Secret model, who we can assume they either built in their research facility in Brazil like she was Josephine Skriver…all from a test tube…or where she was abducted by her family from her small village and forced to work for the brand at a discount…because why the fuck else would they put so much focus on Brazil…what happened in Brazil that made the creative director say “let’s only use Brazil Models”….was he Brazilian, did he speak the language, was the Brazil tourism board paying for this to put Brazil on the map…or was there a deeper rooted, tranny scene, where you can barely tell they have Penises which is perfect for lingerie modeling due to no period…

I don’t know, but I’m suspect on the whole thing, her whole career, why she exists including but not limited to these photos for a recent issue of L’Officiel Turkey…but she still looks good….and I guess that’s all that matters…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2015

04

Jun

Anna Ewers for Industrie Magazine of the Day

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If you have the nerve, the audacity, the gall, the ignorance, to think that I would ever stray from my one Anna Ewers rhymes with Sewers, which is convenient cuz she’s germans and germans love being shit on, at least according to their pornos and Nazi reputation….

You’d be giving me too much credit. I’m a one trick pony motherfuckers…and I’m not even good at that trick.

A video posted by www.drunkenstepfather.com (@drunkenstepfatherdotcom) on Jun 4, 2015 at 9:14am PDT

Here she is in her panties for some bullshit…

Posted in:Anna Ewers

2015

04

Jun

Alexandra Papadopoulos and other Tricks Naked of the Day

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I am friends with Alexandra Papadopoulos….and by friends I mean she’s blocked and deleted me off facebook and instagram more than once…when real haters cut ties once and forget about you…this angel who is getting naked in TREATS because it is a thing LA based models do to get rich husbands, boyfriends and invited on yachts….but I don’t really know which naked girl she is in these pics…I am just posting her name in the event she googles herself, and I am sure she does, they all do…this is the selfie generation and she’s a model, she’ll remember the good times we once had and maybe come back to me…so that I can tell her how much I love her and want her to sit on my face due to being amazing and talented and funny with her instagram videos…

Here are the pics of a bunch of random girls…and one very special angel sent from heaven we call Alexandra Papadopoulos….and not just because greeks love anal…all girls love anal…even girls who say they hate anal…they just haven’t had good anal with a small enough dick…but because she’s amazing.

Posted in:Alexandra Papadopoulos|NSFW

2015

04

Jun

Cindy Crawford’s Gerber Baby of the Day

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A photo posted by Cindy Crawford (@cindycrawford) on May 28, 2015 at 5:12pm PDT

Cindy Crawford did a big reveal of her Gerber Baby, who unlike the rest of the world’s Gerber baby, is not a face on a box of probably toxic food that Jessica Alba would rather you trade in for her HONEST company, even though everyone knows when people say they are honest, they usually not, except maybe the retards who buy into Alba’s product making her worth 200 million dollars and the face of a billion dollar company…when she should have never been more than forgotten tits in a 90s movie…

This Gerber baby is 13 year old Gerber…the heiress to Gerber baby products…thanks to her mom being a model, who took modeling so seriously, and lived up to the model way, but marrying a billionaire…

Now, I figure posting a 13 year old who looks like a Cindy Crawford clone is risque…I mean 13 is young as fuck…but when they look like Cindy Crawford clones…and are already rich to begin with…it’s a perfect time to get her into the industry…which I guess is going on here.

A photo posted by Cindy Crawford (@cindycrawford) on Jun 2, 2015 at 2:54pm PDT

All this to say…Cindy Crawford is amazing…and here is Cindy Crawford for the Sneaker Heads…

A video posted by Cindy Crawford (@cindycrawford) on Jun 3, 2015 at 4:11pm PDT

Here’s some pics of her…that I already Posted…

Posted in:Cindy Crawford

2015

04

Jun

Luma Grothe for Vogue Brazil by Ellen Von Unwerth of the Day

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It is safe to say that Ellen Von Unwerth is hands down the most interesting photographer in our generation…that has merged sex and fashion perfectly…and that is inspired by some of the classic sex and fashion photographers…like Helmut Newton…and I think it’s refreshing, because I am only interested in sex…and when sex meets fashion, the quality of girls and budget for the photoshoot goes up, and thus is hotter than some bootleg internet porn shot by a bunch of cheesy dudes with tribal tattoos in Miami,…you know who you assholes are…

There’s a level of concept and erotica…whether Luma Geothe, who isn’t Mike Tyson trying to say Gross, but rather lovely as fuck..

This video is from a shoot in 2014…because I have hard time moving on…

Here are the pics I posted long ago…#TBT

Posted in:Luma Grothe|NSFW

2015

04

Jun

Bar Refaeli in Some Magazine of the Day

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Older…less relevant…nippleless…claim to fame that she was a Victoria’s Secret model a long time ago, back when Leonardo DiCaprio probably invested in the company, only to be the foundation of him dating all their new models…and the foundation for her Valtrex Prescription….Bar Refaeli…from the promised land, possibly the chosen one, at least her tits were for a minute and a half before moving back to Israel to be a famous party girl there and settle down outside of what we can only assume was an American life she hated….is in a magazine…and despite being older…less relevant…and nippleless…I’m still down to stare…for a minute or less, because that’s my attention span in this “what’s next”…generation of “Feed me more content…feed me more content…I am half retarded…”…world…

Posted in:Bar Refaeli

2015

04

Jun

Selena Gomez Bloated Face with her Friends of the Day

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A video posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Jun 3, 2015 at 12:19pm PDT

Here’s some Disney Starlet making fun of vocal lessons in her spare time, with a girl I assume is her assistant, because they live in some insular shitty world, and this is their life….

You know being a media whore puppet with a hired staff who are riding her coat tails all while being fun around because the whole thing is ridiculous….making jokes that only someone who has vocal lessons would find fun…when the general public just can’t relate or see the humor in this…because it’s a hollywood activity for people who don’t have enough talent to no need vocal lessons…but who can fill seats…because they are Selena Gomez…probably a TM of Disney…with it’s bloated Bieber fucking face…

That said, the friend she humilated acting a fool is named Raquelle Stevens and I want to date her…

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2015

04

Jun

Miley Cyrus in the Pool of the Day

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The exciting thing about pictures of girls underwater when not shot with the right camera is how distorted and stretched out their bodies are…reminiscent of something we used to call scramble porn…back before digital TV and the internet…where cable companies would block out the peope who didn’t buy porn with a scrambled picture…but audio feed that would lead people like me into the dark world of pornography…with one stretched out blue tit in the top left of the scream set to the sountrack of fake porn orgasms..

Well this is the pool picture of that…Miley in a bikini..but where’s her nipple and where’s her vagina…or is this about her face…or is this more erotic for people with a drowning fetish thanks to that one time at camp….where they came holding their breath while skinny dipping with their camp councillors…or some shit…

All this to say, who fucking cares…I’m not posting this cuz I care…seriously…I’m trying to do other things here but I’m stuck in a trap I call DrunkenStepfather…not to mention, I’ve seen this vapid Miley cunt naked before..why would some selfie in the pool be something I find exciting….stop judging me.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2015

04

Jun

Emily Nolan Plus Sized Model in Lingerie of the Day

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As girls in society get fatter, so are the models the brands are using in this “tolerant” love everyone, embrace yourself, love yourself, but don’t masturbate in public love yourself, just be comfortable in a bikini even though you’re 40 pounds over weight because you’re a person too, and you have sex organs too, and people will fuck you, even if it requires being drunk…confidence is the place your head should be…not listening to the fat shaming people…that are really just doing you a favor since all science points to being fat killing you prematurely, meaning it isn’t somehting to embrace or celebrate as a person or a brand or a modeling agency trying to maximize profits…that would be like celebrating a smoker by giving her more cigarettes and telling her it’s ok to smoke…as they monetize her smoking…before she dies a terrible lung cancer death..

Plus sized models are a society being irresponsible…..and here’s one in lingerie…that you may find gross, digsting, but would fuck because you, like me, have no standards and see the humor in it.