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2015

20

Apr

Rihanna Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

Rihanna did a little self produced bikini photoshoot for social media…because Rihanna loves being half naked in pictures…it is a good kind of attention that must remind her of when she was prostituting herself in barbados at the Karaoke bars the rich British men went….before miraculously landing a record deal and becoming Rihanna….

There’s a back story here…I just don’t know what it is…but at least in the mean time she gives us glimspes into her core personality…that of a girl…who likes being watched….while half naked…and as a guy who likes to watch half naked….that works for me…unfortunately…Rihanna doesn’t…because if she did….I’d probably not be wasting time posting on her bikini pics for instagram…but instead spending all the money she makes me…

Posted in:Rihanna|SFW

2015

20

Apr

Heather Locklear in a Bikini of the Day

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Heather Locklear wore a bikini…

I can only assume it is because her daughter is getting a lot of attention for being in a bikini …. THAT YOU CAN SEE HERE

And like all moms who were once hot as fuck, and really isn’t all that bad now, especailly for a 53 year old that has been destroyed by so many rockstars and actors in her LA stint…

She’s got something to prove, a little squeeze into the daughter’s yoga pants and grocery shop, or strip down into a bikini to show us how it is done, cuz some babe moms channel it into their daughters…and others…compete with them for men…and male attention…and none of their motivations matter…as long as they are both in bikinis so that I can live out my mother daughter fetish…that I know you probably have too…because how could you not want to bang the mom and daughter if she’s of age…it’s the whole foundation of who I am and what I do…and the reason I can’t get corporate advertisers…in a “DrunkenStepfather, that’s so creepy, like a fetish site for dudes who want to fuck their wive’s daughters”….if you know what I mean..

Posted in:Heather Locklear

2015

20

Apr

Christina Aguilera Big Tits Live of the Day

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Christina Aguilera lives…

I mean I didn’t expect her to go anywhere, partially because she’s too fat to get off the couch…and walk past the kitchen or bathroom…but mainly because she’s some trashy, over the top, hispanic-based girl who has been doing this for so long and who thinks she’s sent from heaven, because hispanics believe in heaven…to grace the world with her voice…

It’s like you know she tells people that “god gave me this voice, and I had to use it”…or shit like “My god given talent was meant to be heard”….making bitch think she’s one step away from god…like some kind of saint…when really she’s some marketed and exploited tween, who has since got implants, pregnant with multiple dudes, and who spend the bulk of her pop career being slutty…

It’s that kind of delusion that ruins a bitch…I mean coupled with overeating…making for these big momma tits…you probably want to bury yourself in…because I know that is what I want…I mean how could you not…she looks so cozy and fertile…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2015

20

Apr

Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini of the Day

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Ashley Tisdale is one of those bad faced, hot body, crying for attention cunts who made too much money or at least had too much fame in being in that High School Musical shit…

There was a time when she was winning “Hottest Young Starlet” awards at award shows that don’t matter, but that were still televised and feeding lies to the people…but more importantly to her ego..

So, I went on a mission to make fun of her face, her botched nose job, pretty much everything I could…because girl needed to realize that she wasn’t hot…

I was fighting the fight, like Robin Hood, stealing from the rich to give to the poor, only I was making fun of the ugly that were told they were hot, so that they didn’t get an ego they already had thanks to their massive bank accounts and celebrity life…

Basically, it was a failed mission, one that had no real purpose other than to be a dick…and the reality is that now that’s she married, she’s not as ugly as I thought she was, and for some reason I want to give her the dick…even if it’s more of a clit..

I will not admit that I am a fan of this girl..I will not admit she’s hot…I will just admit that I want to fuck her and that’s all I have to say about that…

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2015

20

Apr

Rumer Willis Hard Nipples Cameltoe of the Day

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Rumer Willis may be the potato head I’ve tormented on the internet for a long fucking time, for no real reason other than that I am an asshole…who targets the spoiled trust fund rich kids of celebrities I don’t particularly like, but don’t particularly hate….all because she wasn’t all that hot and it was funny…but it turns out that hotness can be manipulated and like her mother before her…a great body can go a long fucking way….as does botox, fillers and a nose job…turning a potato head into something tolerable enough for me to want to cum on…thanks to the rest of her being pretty on point…

So I’ll save my negativity to shit on other crying for attention assholes, while I’ll just imagine this ass, the Rumer ass shitting on me…because I think I love it….enough to erase the rest of her….

She’s showing some serious improvement.

Posted in:Rumer Willis

2015

20

Apr

Kelly Gale for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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I hate catalog pics, but I guess Victoria’s Secret has been realizing that they are not maximizing the talent they either recruit, pay and create…and have been safe as fuck in all their campaigns, and it is time to say fuck it, let’s make some noise…with our girls, out photographers…etc.

Now Kelly Gale is some 19 year old model from Sweden…because apparently along with Volvo, blonde haired children of the corn looking motherfuckers, contemporary modern design, and meatballs, Sweden makes models…

She’s not blinde haired or aryan looking…but she is fucking amazing…and I assume the future…and not because Victoria’s Secret got to her first…but because…she gives me boners…multiple boners…all at the same time..she’s that good.

Posted in:Kelly Gale

2015

20

Apr

Hailee Steinfeld Bikini Action of the Day

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Hailee Steinfeld is some recently turned 18 year old and was once an underage actress I am sure at least one of you has masturbated to, mainly because you are perverts, but also because America made sexualizing her illegal, and everyone is drawn to what they aren’t allowed to do…or maybe men are just drawn to underage girls in some unhealthy, obsessive weird way…thinking they are fresh and untouched, even though girls get their periods at 4 years old now, and have sex by 8…with everyone in their class…all thanks to internet porn and hormones in the food…

She’s not that cute, but the memories of her being 12 in some movie probably bring this home for you…and now she’s in a bikini in Coachella week 2, as these girls do…

To See Her in Shorts CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hailee Steinfeld

2015

20

Apr

Charlize Theron Amazing for W Magazines of the Day

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I think I already posted these pictures of Charlize Theron for W Magazine last week, but I could be wrong, I just see them all over the internet and figure there’s no way I was first to the draw on this shit, even though I am the first to the draw on most shit, except women, I always get sloppy seconds, or sloppy thirds…depending what time of day I call them…

Which brings up an interesting point, Charlize Theron could have been a street hooker, I mean one of the hottest of street hookers, who probably would have been more of a sugar baby, or escort, in an era when sugar babies and escorts were less public…because when she was discovered by a film executive, she had already done Playboy, was already out of money, and pretty much on her last legs of staying in California…

It could have easily been a pimp that met her in that bank that day she got recruited…and if it was…she’d probably be dead in a gutter somewhere, so I guess it worked out nicely for her…

Unless dating Sean Penn is like being dead in the gutter…who knows…

Posted in:Charlize Theron

2015

20

Apr

Sarah Hyland Did Coachella Week 2 of the Day

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Sarah Hyland creeps me the fuck out…for the same reasons you probably masturbate to her…she’s looks like she’s 12, but is in her 20s…and that’s just fucking weird.

I assume she was fed “peter pan” hormones that gymnasts are fed, or that Disney stars are fed, to make investing in them worth it…or maybe she’s just a freak of celebrity kid nature…

The good thing about her is that she’s taking a cue from her TV mom Sofia Veragara…to sex things up a bit to get noticed…

The other good thing about her is that she’s gone out to Coachella this year, instead of filing restraining orders against her abusive boyfriends…

All these spoiled brats don’t know shit about real domestic abuse….and here she is at Coachella…

Here she is for some Yu Tsai Photoshoot because she looks amazing..

Posted in:Sarah Hyland

2015

20

Apr

Jojo Had a Bikini Party of the Day

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Jojo’s big tits spilling out of her bikini doesn’t really interest me, even though I love fat tits…spilling out of bikinis…

What does interest me is that when she was 17 she was considered Jail Bait….

After watching her music video from when she was 17….I have no idea why,

I mean I can sense the stage mom, the no dad growing up…the poverty in Phully…and I guess the little enough body at 17….that I would have predicted would grow up to be a fat chick with not tits…but this video isn’t the first on my list of music videos to jerk off to…if anything it’s just a glimpse into her dating black dudes…throwing her career away at 18…only for this bikini comeback…which is probably the best thing she’s released since the 2000s…

Posted in:JoJo